Becoming A High School Girl - Chapter 40

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I thought about the coming weeks. As a senior, I had less than two weeks of school left. We had a couple of days of final exams and then graduation. I was lucky as I only had finals in four classes, so I wouldn't be overwhelmed academically.

There was also our senior class night, a week from Friday. That was the night when they'd give out awards and honors along with music and comedy skits. It promised to be a lot of fun. Graduation was on Tuesday of the following week, followed by Grad Night at the school, then the private parties. Cat said that the parties last all night and into the morning. Wednesday was when the real world would arrive. We'd no longer be seniors, and thoughts of jobs and college would dominate our lives.

Of course, being me, I had to take on a few additional challenges. There would be my trip up to NYC to get my nose fixed. We were going to leave on the Thursday after graduation. This would give us a weekend to have fun before I had my surgery.

It was no longer going to be just Mom and me I. Terri, Cat, and Laura was now joining us on the journey. We already had reservations for our hotel. Granted, it wouldn't be a suite overlooking Central Park, but it was still midtown. Tony had confirmed that he'd be our driver. We also had tickets to a Broadway show on Friday evening. It would be a lot of fun, at least until I had my surgery. Dr. Ayres said that he would prefer to wait at least another year before working on the scar. He said he had some non-surgical techniques that he'd like to try first. I was presently using a cream that he'd suggested. It did seem to be working a little. He had also sent me a lot of info about the surgery and the aftermath.

Then there was the wedding. Terri was in constant communication with Mom and Sam on the planning. The date was set, and invitations were sent out. As it would be the middle of summer, Mom didn't want an overly formal wedding. She wasn't going to wear a full bridal gown. She was working with Cindy, and they had narrowed her choices down to ten or twenty dresses. The bridesmaids' dresses were also going to be simple yet elegant. Although I was a bit disappointed that Mom wasn't going to have the full-blown bridal gown, I was also relieved that I wouldn't be wearing some classically ugly bridesmaid dress. Well, at least not at Mom's wedding. I've had the 'honor' of wearing several gowns in the past few years, some of which were truly hideous - I hate butt bows! I won't name names, as I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings!

I finally decided to head back inside. Oh, I had other things to ponder, but it was late, and I was starting to get sleepy. I still wanted to know who was the third!

I did have to go to work on Sunday. But the good news was that we'd be closed on Monday. Mrs. Lincoln didn't believe in her staff working holidays. I was up before Sam and Mom, as usual! I was reading the articles on the rally yesterday. I was going to have a really good scrapbook from my senior year. Between homecoming, the attack, the trial, the fashion show, and the whole Rev incident, I had been in the paper a whole bunch of times. We had taped the evening news, and I planned to watch it later on.

The article on our rally was very favorable. The Rev's arrest overshadowed his little rally. Apparently, some of his followers also had stolen goods in their campers from a series of robberies over in Red Hill.

The editorial section was also filled with comments, mostly favorable, about the rally. A few thought that it was a bit overdone; they felt that the rally was too big and that simply ignoring the Rev would have worked just as well. Obviously, I disagreed with that opinion! There were no favorable comments about the Rev.

I shifted to the Times and read a highly praising review for the show we were going to see. I was really looking forward to seeing it, especially with my closest friends.

The sound of the shower draining told me that that they were getting up and moving. I turned on the coffee machine and then went back to the paper. It was nice to be able to relax after the stress of the previous week. I did want to write some thank you notes to all the people who had spoken yesterday. Marlene said she'd provide me with their addresses.

Speaking of Marlene, she was initially going to leave today. Still, she'd decided that she would stick around for the party tomorrow. She said that she could use a few days to unwind, and Sam and Mom had invited her over for Sunday dinner. Sam had a friend who was dropping off some trout that he had caught. It seemed the guy loves fishing but doesn't like the taste of fish! I wasn't a big lover of fish myself, but Sam promised me that I'd love how he cooked them. I preferred the type of seafood that comes in a shell; you know, crab, lobster, or shrimp! Sam told me that there were none of those in our creeks and rivers, so it would have to be trout tonight!

Sam and Mom came down together and went right to the coffeepot. "Thank you for starting it up," mumbled Sam.

"Someone isn't quite awake yet, I see," I stated in my best cheerful voice.

He stuck his tongue out at me!

Mom suggested waffles for breakfast. She had just bought a new waffle iron and wanted to try it out. I said that sounded good, and Sam grunted something that sounded like vaguely affirmative.

I really wasn't that big of a morning person, but I just felt SO good that the Rev was gone.

The new waffle iron worked really well, making those really thick Belgian waffles. Sam suggested them for dessert some night. He said, you pop a hot waffle on the plate and then put a big scoop of ice cream on top of it. It sounded very fattening and very good.

We talked about planting the bush tomorrow morning. Sam said that he'd have to go to the home and garden store, as we didn't have a shovel. He said that he'd also look for a lawnmower. We'd been borrowing Terri's. We really were becoming a suburban, home-owning family!

Work was a lot of fun. Mel was so excited about being engaged. She kept looking at her ring, even when we weren't looking! Cindy made sure that we actually worked and didn't just talk to each other. It was hard to concentrate on folding blouses when it was so nice outside.

Cindy came over and asked me why I was so sluggish today. "You're usually a much better worker," she remarked.

"I'm sorry, I guess that I just feel so free and relaxed now that the Rev is gone."

"That's understandable, but I still need you to focus," she stated with a smile.

I made an effort to work harder for the rest of the day. The last thing I wanted to do was appear ungrateful to my co-workers!

Laura came in near closing time and asked me if I needed a ride home.

"Sure, but tomorrow I'll have my car! And then I can start driving you around."

"Just as long as I can still take you for a ride every now and then," quipped Laura with a sly smile on her face.

After work, Laura said she had something to show me. We drove over to the community center. This was a large athletic complex just outside of town. They had ball fields and basketball courts. Laura drove me there to show me that the pool was now open.

"So?" I asked.

"Well, this is the best summertime hangout spot in town. We get in free this summer because we are graduating seniors," she explained.

"I don't have a bathing suit," I replied, hoping to change the conversation.

"We'll go shopping for one this week. I really want to see you in a bikini," smiled Laura.

I started to laugh, and then I realized that she was serious. "No way!"

"Come on, I've been checking out a few that would look great on you."

"I'm sure you have!" I replied. Laura had a wicked smile on her face. "But there are some concealment issues we need to consider."

"I've thought of that, and I have a solution." We turned around in the parking lot and headed back towards town.

"Want to share them with me?" I asked.

"Well, you were able to conceal yourself pretty well during cross-country, and those shorts were pretty tight," she stated.

"That's true, but the shorts also concealed my gaff, and I doubt that a bikini bottom will do that." I was having an argument that would have seemed impossible a year earlier!

"Yes, I know, but I talked to a seamstress, and she says that she can sew a gaff in so that it looks like part of the suit," said Laura. She was smiling triumphantly.

"Okay, so what about the top? I'm growing, but I'd still look rather flat-chested."

"I've got that solved too. The seamstress says there are two options. The first one is that we can have pockets built into the top so you can slide your boob pads in. I've checked, and yes, your pads are safe to wear in a pool. The second option is to sew in pads so your top will act like a push-up bra," she explained.

"This sounds too expensive, I need to save up for school, and then there is the car."

"Bad excuses, you are about to win a full scholarship in less than three weeks. Your car is paid off; you told me that this morning."

I sat there and looked over at Laura. The smile on her face was huge.

"Shit! Okay, stop gloating. You win. So how long will this take to make?" I asked. I was trying to imagine how I'd look in a bikini.

"I'll be taking you there Tuesday, and you'll have it by Friday. This is good because our senior picnic is going to be held at the pool the next Friday. I want to get you out and work on your tan before the picnic."

"You're lucky I love you so much," I replied.

"There's one other thing, I made an appointment for you to get a bikini waxing at the salon," added Laura.

"Ohhh, that sounds like fun," I exclaimed sarcastically.

Laura described the procedure and assured me that it wasn't as bad as it sounded.

"You'll thank me when you see how hot you look." smiled Laura. She then licked her lips with her tongue.

"You're so bad!" I said, and we both started laughing.

Laura stayed for dinner. She loved fresh trout. I had to admit it was pretty good. Marlene brought over a tape of the TV coverage of the rally and the Rev's arrest. We watched my interview several times. Laura said that I looked pretty cute. We also watched Sam's interview a few times. I noticed that look of satisfaction when he talked about the arrest of the Rev and his group. Sam said that it was a fringe benefit of the job and that it made all the hard work worthwhile. I could see why Cat wanted to go into law enforcement.

After the 'DA & Daughter Show,' as Mom called it, Laura suggested that she and I go down to Spencer's. Mom didn't mind but told me not to be out too late. I appreciated her concern, even if I didn't show it. I said good night to Marlene, and we left.

"So, you get the car tomorrow?" asked Laura as we drove over to Spencer's.

"Yes. We're going to get it right after the bush planting. You are coming over for that?" I asked.

"I never miss a ceremonial bush planting," stated Laura with a laugh. "What time?"

"By tradition, it's supposed to be done around 9:00AM. It'll be nice to see something growing there." I paused for a second and was suddenly awash in memories of that horrible night.

There was a long silence after that.

We found a parking spot only a block away from Spencer's and walked in. The guy behind the counter recognized me and gave me my cappuccino and pie on the house. I appreciated it, and I tried to shake off the memories. We sat down in our usual spot on the couch.

"You want to talk about it?" asked Laura.

"Is it that obvious?" I replied softly.

"I'm not Sherlock Cat, but I can tell when something is bothering you," stated Laura. She put her hand on my shoulder.

"I was just thinking about the night of the attack. It's no big deal."

"Bullshit!" exclaimed Laura. "It's a big deal. I saw how quiet you got in the car. Let it out."

I smiled. "Nice bedside manner." I was actually grateful that Laura pressed me to talk about it. It was reassuring that she cared so much about me.

"Hey, I want to go into politics, not therapy," replied Laura. "Seriously, tell me what's on your mind."

"I'll be glad when the bush is planted, and that ground is exorcised of the evil that occurred there," I answered very softly.

I took a drink from my cappuccino.

"You know what happened, so I don't need to replay that, but what I've never been able to fully express is the fear that I felt that night. I was so close to safety, and yet I might as well have been on the other side of the world. I was praying that someone would see us, and I was also terrorized by the idea of Mom or Cat or Terri came out that he'd hurt them too!" I began to feel very emotional, and my voice wavered a little.

I took another sip of cappuccino. Laura looked at me. "I'm here for you."

"Thanks. It seemed he was on top of me for hours. Time really slowed down. I also thought about being killed there. I thought about the pain and shock to Mom and my friends if I was found dead there." I paused to wipe away some tears that were dripping down my face. It was a soft cry, sort of like gentle spring rain.

Laura pulled me close to her. "Let it out." We hugged for a long time.

"Thanks. You're the first person other than Jenny and Mom that I've told about that."

"I'm honored. Don't worry, this will be just between us. But be sure to talk to Jenny about this."

"Thanks." I wiped away my tears. I could definitely tell that my emotional state was changing. I knew that Laura was right, and I needed to tell Jenny about this incident.

"You okay now?" asked Laura.

"Yes, much better, thanks for listening," I took a small bite of my pie. "Sorry for being such a pain."

"You're not a pain." She pulled me close to her, and we kissed.

We hung out at Spencer's for another hour or so before heading home.

"You going to be okay," asked Laura as we pulled into the driveway.

"Yes, I think so," I replied. We kissed long and passionately. "I love you."

"I love you too. Call me if you have any problems."

"I will." I knew she was worried that I'd start having nightmares again. I didn't want to worry her, but I'd never really stopped having them; it was just that I was learning to live with them, thanks to Jenny. I kept my log, and I was e-mailing Jenny about the really bad ones. The good thing was that they weren't as intense as the earlier ones, and I didn't wake up in a cold sweat from them.

We kissed again, and I went inside. I actually felt good about my little outburst. I also was so in love with Laura. We had a goofy sort of relationship, but when it came down to the bottom line, I knew she'd be there 100 percent for me. Mom and Sam were still up and sitting out on the deck. I made a cup of tea and went out to join them. Yes, I know I drink a lot of caffeine, but it really doesn't bother my ability to sleep. I also thought decaffeinated tea tasted awful.

I did tell them about my conversation with Laura. I was following Jenny's advice and being totally honest with Mom and Sam, and, yes, they knew about my nightmares. At times, it was difficult to be so honest and open with them about the attack, as I didn't want them to worry about me.

I had a pretty good night's sleep, no nightmares. I slept lightly, but I think that was more due to the excitement of getting the car and the planting ceremony. I was also excited about the big party at Alex's barn.

The weather was warm and pleasant, and I dressed in a pair of shorts, a gray sleeveless t-shirt, and sport sandals.

I was surprised to see Sam and Mom up before me. They were reading the paper out on the deck. I went and joined them after grabbing a glass of orange juice.

"Good morning," I greeted as I sat down. "You guys are up early

"Well, we wanted to be up and awake for the planting," stated M."

om. "I'm going to make some blueberry pancakes for breakfast."

"Are they going to be plate-sized?" I asked.

Sam looked at me like I was nuts.

"I was just thinking about those," said Mom.

I turned to Sam. "There is a small restaurant back in San Diego called the Big Kitchen, and they serve plate-sized pancakes. The blueberry ones are so full of blueberries that they pop out," I replied. "The funny thing is that it's in the Golden Hill section of San Diego."

"That sounds great!" stated Sam. "But aren't you exaggerating about the size?"

"Nope, she's telling the truth, Sam. They really are plate-sized," agreed Mom.

Sam was still a bit skeptical. I said that if we ever got back out there, we'd take him there.

The pancakes were good, and it was a proper meal before a bush planting ceremony.

Cat, Laura, and Terri all arrived around 9:00, and we started to dig the hole. I was pleasantly surprised to see Jenny pull in the driveway with Coach.

"Who else did you invite?" I asked Mom.

"Just a few others," she answered.

"It's very nice looking; where did you buy it?" asked Jenny as she looked at the plant.

"I bought it from Roger the Shrubber," said Sam with a straight face, "He designs, arranges, and sells shrubberies."

Everyone broke out laughing except Mom and Terri. They obviously weren't fans of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. My opinion of Sam just skyrocketed upward!

"Ni!" I said. That caused more laughter and more strange looks from Mom and Terri. I'd tried to get Mom to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail a few times, but she just thought it was stupid.

Sam explained that the bush was a Compact European cranberry bush viburnum, and it was just starting to bloom. There were small clusters of white flowerets arranged in a pinwheel pattern. He said that the scent would be spicy-sweet, and it would produce clusters of translucent bright red berries. The leaves would turn purplish-red in the fall, and eventually, it could grow to be six feet tall and equally wide!

"I'm impressed, Dad. I didn't know you were a plant expert," I remarked.

"I'm not. I just have a good memory," replied Sam with a smile. "Roger taught me all I ever needed to know about the shrubbery."

Within the next fifteen minutes, Paul, Caroline, Marlene, and Ms. Ball joined us. Mom said that looked like everyone. I suddenly remembered something and ran back into the house for a second. There was something that I wanted to bury in the hole.

When I came back down, we started the ceremony. I'm not sure if there are rules for something like this, so we just made them up as we went along. Basically, we all stood around the hole, and each person got to say something if they wanted to. I got to go first. "I hope that this plant serves as a refuge for birds and animals, and it cleans the land," I said. I felt myself choking up a bit. I would have said more, but I didn't want to break down. I guess my hormones were extra active that morning.

That seemed to be the sentiment as each person spoke. Just before we put the bush in the hole, I tossed in my hospital wristband from the night I was attacked. No one said a thing, but I got a lot of smiles. The bush was set down in the hole, and we filled in the dirt gently around it. I got down on my knees and scooped dirt into the hole. I was joined by Laura, Cat, and everyone else, for that matter! I pulled out the hose, and I watered it. The ceremony was over in a few minutes, and Mom brought out some sparkling cider to toast the event. It would have been cooler to use real champagne, but I was still just seventeen.

It was a lovely little ceremony, and I really felt that we were healing the earth. I also thought that I have healed somewhat myself. We went back to the deck to talk and continue the celebration. Jenny said that it had been a great idea and that she would suggest it to others in a similar circumstance. She said that it was nice that it cleaned the area of the crime that had occurred.

Most people left within the hour, as they had to get ready for the barbecue over at Alex's house. I thanked them all for showing up. Soon the only guests left were Cat, Terri, and Laura. Terri and Mom went into the kitchen to finish making their food for the picnic.

Sam looked at me and smiled. "I suppose you want to get your car, or would you rather wait until next weekend?" he said.

"You've got to be kidding!" I exclaimed. "Let's go!"

Cat and Laura joined us as we drove out to the State Police Barracks. We met the trooper, and he took us back to get the car.

"Nice car," noted Cat, "but I thought you said it was a sedan; I only see two doors. I think that makes it a coupe." She was standing there smiling at me.

"Yes, Sherlock, I know. I've been corrected many times for that mistake," I grumbled in mock anger.

"Well, if you want to be a teacher, then you need to be accurate."

"Keep that up, and I won't give you a ride!" I said as I started to laugh.

Cat made a face like her feelings were hurt for a second. Then she joined me in laughing.

Laura then piped in, "What difference does it make what it's called? I think it's a nice car!"

Cat just shook her head in disgust at us.

We finished the paperwork, and it was time to drive home. Sam said for me to follow him home. Cat climbed in the back, and Laura sat in the passenger seat. It drove very nicely. I was very attentive to my driving, especially because I wasn't used to the car yet. I wanted to drive around some more, but I kept my promise and followed Sam back to the house.

"So how does it ride?' asked Sam as we walked back into the house.

"Really nice!"

"By the way, just because I'm the DA doesn't mean that you get out of tickets, so watch your speed," he explained.

"Yes, Dad!" I replied.

Sam walked inside, and then I heard Cat and Laura speak in unison, "Yes, Dad!" with heavy sarcastic overtones.

"Hey, you know that I don't have a lot of experience in this area," I replied with a laugh. We then went inside.

Mom and Sam agreed that I could drive it over to Alex's house, but that they wanted me to take it easy.

We loaded up some of the stuff in the car and headed over to Alex's house. Mom, Sam, and Terri were driving over together.

As we drove over, Cat brought up the bikini topic. "I must say that I'm looking forward to seeing you in a bikini at the senior class party."

"That makes two of you," I smiled.

"Yes, but Laura's interest is strictly sexual; I just want to see how well you adjust to wearing a bathing suit in public," commented Cat.

"Hey! My interest isn't just sexual - well, maybe some of my interest is - but I'm concerned about her transition too," smiled Laura.

We were stopped at a light, and we both looked at her in disbelief.

"Okay, I admit that I am very interested in seeing you in a bikini and that I know you'll look really hot," stated Laura.

"That's better," smiled Cat.

"I'm glad to see that girls can be as sexist as guys! I was afraid to say that I can't wait to see Laura in her bikini!" I quipped.

We all began to laugh.

I really was going to miss us hanging out all the time, and I was really going to miss Laura when she goes off to the state. We pulled into Alex's driveway and were immediately surrounded by our friends. The guys were very interested in my car. They popped the hood and made a bunch of comments on the engine and other parts. Look, I had trouble distinguishing between a coupe and a sedan, so they might as well have been speaking Greek. Okay, I wasn't that ignorant, but you get a general idea.

We took the food out of the trunk and delivered it to Alex's parents. They had put out quite a spread. It was nice spending a holiday with good friends. Alex said that he wanted to have a barbecue on July fourth and then continue it every year so we could get together as a group at least once a year. No one at the time thought he'd pull it off, but he did. In fact, it's still an annual event for our class. People come from all across the country for it.

The volleyball net was set up, and there was also an open area that could serve as the Frisbee football field. Alex told us that his parents originally wanted to put in a pool there, but they'd decided against it.

The crowd got bigger. It would take up too much space to list everyone who was there, but just about every close friend from school was there. I got picked for a volleyball team by Alex, Kristen, Mike, and Alex's younger brother, Nick, and we couldn't get off the court! We won four straight games, and we finally stepped off undefeated, as we wanted to eat.

Mike was convinced more than ever that I was their good luck charm. "You'd better come down for our games this fall!"

I sat down near Tracey as we ate. Tracey told me that Mike was very superstitious when it came to sports. She said that he had all sorts of rituals and that she'd given up trying to understand them.

"So, you don't mind him considering me their lucky charm?' I asked.

"At first, I did. You know that it's taken me longer to warm up to you. Initially, I was downright resentful of you, especially when you got selected for homecoming. I thought your election made a mockery of the whole thing. I almost dropped out, but I went along with it because of Kristen. But now I know I was wrong, and I am very proud to be your friend," she stated.

"I appreciate your honesty, and I'm proud to be your friend too."

"You've really won over a lot of people with the way you handled yourself this year, and I'm just not talking about the whole assault and trial thing. You really tried to just fit in. I think what really won me over was the fact that you didn't feel sorry for yourself. You could have easily used your misfortune to try and make people pity you, but you didn't. I don't think I could have been that brave," continued Tracey.

"Don't sell yourself short. Trust me, there were times that I really wanted to have everyone feel sorry for me. But something inside yourself makes you move on. The trick is to know when you are exceeding it. I found that out the hard way."

"I guess you did. We were really worried about you when you missed those two weeks of school," replied Tracey.

"Thanks. I hope that I don't have a repeat of that," I replied softly. It was always in the back of my mind that I might have another relapse. It still is.

We talked for a while longer. I was glad we cleared the air; I only wished we had done it earlier in the school year.

After I ate and rested a little, I was drawn back onto the volleyball court. Alex reformed the team with one change; Cat replaced Kristen, who just wanted to watch and take pictures. We became a real juggernaut and beat one team after another. We even beat an all-guy team formed by some of Alex's teammates. We surrendered the court after winning six straight games. With all the jumping around, I was definitely glad I'd worn a sports bra.

Cat noticed my discomfort and laughed. She came over and whispered, "Wait until they get bigger!"

Alex's father had dug a big fire pit and planned to light up a bonfire after dark. I had been to a few parties on the beach, and we'd always had a fire after dark. I found sitting around a fire was very spiritual and was a tie to our ancient past. Of course, they didn't have marshmallows, but I'm sure they'd have eaten them if they had!

The crowd had thinned considerably by the time the fire was started. A couple of the guys brought out their guitars and tried to find some tunes that they both knew so they could play together. I was sitting on a blanket next to Cat and Laura. I can close my eyes today, and I still can picture everyone's faces illuminated by the fire. Alex's dad borrowed one of the guitars and started playing. He was very good, and he played a whole bunch of songs from the sixties and seventies. Alex told us that his dad was a Dead Head and had once spent a whole year following the band around from concert to concert. That was a real surprise!

The party finally began to break up around ten. There was a school in the morning, and, as much as we resisted, it was time to go. I lingered a little to hug and thank Marlene again for all her help. She said that she'd keep in touch but that she hoped that she'd never see me again in a professional manner. But if I ever needed help again, she told me not to hesitate to call.

We drove back to my house and unloaded the car. Laura kissed me and left for home. She said she'd pick us up in the morning as usual. I couldn't drive my car to school, as they wouldn't issue me a sticker this late in the school year. I didn't mind, as I loved riding with Cat and Laura.

Mom, Terri, and Sam arrived a few minutes later, and Cat and I helped them unload their car. We said our goodnight, and we started into the house. I did come back out one last time to look at the bush. It was surrounded by lightning bugs. I guess they were welcoming it to the neighborhood.