Becoming A High School Girl - Chapter 41

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It was difficult to get excited about school. Everyone was so beat by our long weekend. I was sore from playing so much volleyball. There was also the added excitement that we had less than two weeks of classes before finals and then graduation.

The big thing that happened in school was our weekly meeting of the Fab Four. I was pleased to see everyone there. We ate our lunches while we waited for Ms. B to arrive.

"So, what do you think the last challenge will be?" I asked.

"Well, if it's standing up to a criminal religious zealot, then we finished that one!" said Denise. We all laughed.

I remembered seeing Denise, but I hadn't seen Lisa there. It was no big deal. I didn't want to embarrass her, so I didn't ask if she had been there.

Ms. B walked in and asked how we were all doing. "As you know, you have exactly two weeks until graduation. Again I want to congratulate all of you for making it this far. I want to remind you that the contest doesn't end until after the graduation ceremony. However, that shouldn't be a big deal, as everyone will be wearing caps and gowns." We all laughed at her comments.

"I have a question, Ms. B. Which name will go on our diploma?" asked Denise.

"That's up to you. I have a form for all of you to fill out. It will include the name you want on your diploma and what name you wish to be called when you walk across the stage. Your parents or guardians will have to sign it and send it in by Friday."

This wasn't a big deal for Caroline and me. I still wondered who the third was?

"Now I have one announcement. As you know, the senior party/picnic will be held next Friday at the pool at the athletic center. You'll be required to be in gender-correct bathing suits. It's up to you if you want one piece, two pieces, but it must be a women's bathing suit," she explained.

I thought about Laura and her appointment for me this evening to get my bikini made. I looked at Ms. B, and she winked at me.

"Here is the card of a seamstress who can make you a suit that will hide what's necessary and enhance areas that need enhancing," smiled Ms. B. She handed us each a card.

I looked at Denise and Lisa as they got their cards. Neither one gave anything away.

"You will be required to attend the picnic. Of course, the usual excuses are still valid with notes from your parents or guardians. If you want to pull out of the competition, you will still get the lesser scholarship," announced Ms. B. "Erika, I will need to see you in my office after this meeting."

I walked out with Ms. B. "What's up?" I asked.

"I just wanted to give you the apologies of the two young men who vandalized your locker last week. I also have something to ask you once we get in my office."

We entered her office, and I sat down in the chair next to her desk. I thought how I'd miss coming in here. She handed me the two apologies, and I read them. The first was the standard "I am so sorry and please forgive me" type that looked like a form letter. His letter was just begging for forgiveness without thinking about the reasons why his actions were wrong. The second one was more interesting. It was very different from the first one in that it was heartfelt and well written. His name was Kur,t and he wrote about how stupid and insensitive he'd been. He said that he'd known who I was and what I'd gone through, and yet he still did it. Having time to think about it, he now knew how hateful his actions came across as being. He said that he deserved to be punished. He said he'd understand if I was still mad at him.

"Well, what do you think?" asked Ms. B.

"Too bad you can't force someone to enter the contest. They could use some sensitivity training. At least Kurt seems to realize why it was wrong, or maybe he's just a better writer."

"He's a good kid, just needs some focus."

"So, what's the question you wanted to ask me?" I asked.

"Next week, we'll be having our informational meeting for contestants for next year's scholarship contest. I'd like you to be there to answer questions. I'm asking all of the Fab Four and a few of those who didn't make it this far," she stated.

"Good! If I was the only one speaking, I'd scare them all off. So when is this meeting?" I asked.

"A week from today, right after school."

"Okay, but I have to leave by 4:30; Tuesday is my weekly meeting with Jenny," I said.

"We'll be done by then. Thank you in advance."

"So, how many have expressed an interest?" I asked.

"A little less than this year, but that was expected. So far twenty- four have signed up, but I expect it to go up a little," she said. "I've told them that each year is different and that the length of the contest will depend on the contestants themselves. We'll also be making some significant rule changes, some of which I can't disclose until Tuesday. However, starting next yea,r we will have a female to male category."

"That's cool! Do you have any interest in it?"

"A few."

"When this is all over, I'd love to sit down with you and talk about this contest. I know that there is more here than meets the eye. I have many questions that need answers."

"I expected that, and you do deserve to know the answers. How about we meet for lunch on the Wednesday after graduation?"

"Could we make that dinner?" From what everyone has told me, I won't be going to bed until daybreak."

She laughed. "Sure, that sounds good. Why not dinner at my place?" she suggested.

"That sounds wonderful!" Her dinner invitation caught me off guard, but I accepted it immediately. When the bell interrupted our meeting, I was disappointed as I still had a few more questions, but I knew that I couldn't be late for my next class. "Well, I have to get to American Lit. Thank you so much, Ms. B. I'm really looking forward to our dinner!" I was also looking forward to the answers to many questions.

My session with Jenny was very interesting. We spent a lot of time talking about my emotional changes. She told me that I needed to be aware of the effects of the hormones. We talked about how my emotional changes might affect my dealing with the stress from my assault. She agreed that having friends to talk about was very important.

"I have to admit that the thought of being without Cat and Laura close by is a bit frightening."

"Well, that's life, and you'll need to make adjustments. But there's always e-mail and the phone. Remember that you're not breaking up as friends, even if you are separated."

"As you know, Laura and I are dating, and we're both worried about being separated."

"If you're asking me if everything will work out between you two, I can't answer that. You may stick together, or you may drift apart; it's a part of life."

"I'm shocked! You don't have answers to everything," I replied with a laugh.

"Don't linger on the negative aspect of graduation and separation. You've made many good friends at Central. When you go to college, you need to socialize and make new friends. That's part of the joy of going to college! You don't have to give up your old friends. There is no limit to the friends you can have. I have friends that I haven't seen in years, yet we stay close by calls, letters, and e-mail. As for you and Laura, only time will tell."

I thought about what she said, and it made sense. I'd have to strive to meet new people when I went to Dewey.

I also told her about my reaction with Laura at Spencer's Sunday night.

"One of the problems of dealing with a traumatic episode is that you will occasionally have that sort of emotional upheaval. I think you handled it very well by talking it out with Laura. Whatever you do, don't try to hold it in."

After the session, it was time to get fitted for my bikini. Laura drove me to the shop, and we walked in.

The seamstress was named Yvonne, and she was very pleased to meet me. She was looking forward to helping me, and the other contestants have a good fitting bathing suit.

"So, what kind do you want?" asked Yvonne.

Before I could answer, Laura piped in. "Bikini!"

I looked over at her, and she smiled back. "Sure, why not?" I said.

"Well, let's get started," stated Yvonne. She explained that my options were limited due to the 'special design factors" she had to make in them. Still, she said that she had some nice suits that would look great on me.

She took my measurements, including my chest with and without my boob pads.

We looked at a few styles, and I tried some on. Initially, I felt close to being totally naked. I picked out two suits. One was green, and the other was dark blue. She showed me how she was going to adjust the suit so it would conceal my maleness. As for the tops, we went with one of each. The green one would have built-in pockets so I could slip in my boob pads, and for the blue top, we went with the built-in push-up pads.

I changed back into my street clothes. Yvonne said that the suits would be ready by Friday. She told me that I didn't have to pay until Friday and that she'd include my contestant discount.

We then decided to go over to Spencer's. Laura called up Cat, and she asked us to pick her up at the police station as she was finishing up her internship for the day. As sad as I was to think of us splitting up in a few months, I was excited about Cat's career.

She really was getting into it. She loved to watch the cop dramas on TV and point out the mistakes to us.

Once we got Cat, we drove over to the college area and hunted down a parking spot. We ended up several blocks away, but it really didn't matter in nice weather. Winter, on the other hand, would have made our stroll very difficult.

"So, when do you get your bikinis?" asked Cat.

"Friday. Then I have to work up the courage to wear one out in public!"

Laura smiled. "That will be Saturday afternoon when we go to the pool!"

"Your girlfriend sure is pushy," smiled Cat.

"I know, good thing she's such a good kisser," I answered.

"You'll do fine, Erika. Besides, you'll be with us, and no one will dare mess with you!" added Cat.

I smiled. "Thanks, being with friends will really help!"

"You know you can trust us, Erika; we'd never do anything to embarrass you. By the way, your appointment for your bikini waxing is tomorrow after school."

"Yes, dear!" I replied with a giggle. "So, are you joining us at the pool Saturday Cat?"

"Yes, I am. Matt will also be joining us. He finishes up the school on Wednesday," explained Cat.

"Cool," replied Laura.

We reached Spencer's and walked in. I decided to shift away from cappuccinos for the summer. They added fruit smoothies for the summer crowd, so I had one of those instead. I also skipped the pie. Actually, that's not true, they were sold out, and I didn't feel like anything else.

Cat and Laura stayed with cappuccinos. We took our normal seats on the couch. I told them about the latest challenge for the Four.

"Did Ms. B tip you off or something like that?" I asked Laura.

"Not exactly. I overheard her talking to Marlene after the rally," she replied.

"So you were eavesdropping! Gee, you're sneaky! But how did she catch you?"

Laura smiled. "When she saw me there, she told me all about the challenge, and she gave me Yvonne's card."

"That's cool." I then told them about my upcoming dinner with her after graduation.

"That's great. Just remember everything she tells you so you can tell us on the trip to New York," stated Cat.

We then talked about the trip to NYC. It would be fun, but the more I read about Rhinoplasty, the more I was concerned. The surgery wasn't so much the concern; it was the recovery period. Dr. Ayres had said that I'd have to sit upright for 24-48 hours afterward and that I wouldn't be able to do anything active for a few weeks to a month afterward. Laura said that I could use that time to work on my tan.

We cut it short at Spencer's as the effects of the weekend were hitting us. I planned on going to bed early that night after I talked to Sandra.

Sam and I had had some leftover chicken for dinner. Mom was at her class over at Dewey.

"We said goodbye to the rest of the Rev's group today. The winner in the scumbag lottery was Virginia. They had over twelve warrants apiece on each of them," Sam reported.

"So who got the Rev?" I asked.

"Texas," replied Sam, breaking out in a sly smile.

"Too bad," I said sarcastically.

"Oh, I got a call today, and your name change will be legal this week. You should have the paperwork in hand by Friday."

"So that means I can go and get a new driver's license?" I asked. I thought about getting my license back in August. It was the last time that I had dressed as Eric, although I still looked like a girl in my photo because of my hairstyle.

"Sure," said Sam.

I sat there with a big smile on my face. I felt a strong sense of satisfaction in knowing that I would legally be Erika soon. However, there was a little bit of sadness over giving up my identity as Eric.

I told him about the diploma/graduation form, and he said that he and Mom would fill it out and send it in. I got up and retrieved it out of my purse.

"What about the adoption papers?" I asked as I cleared away the plates.

"It's progressing. It just takes time," noted Sam.

"Regardless of what the courts say, I want to change my last name to Warren. I already consider you my dad."

"You don't know how good it feels to hear that coming from you." I walked over and gave him a big hug. I could tell he was really was moved emotionally.

After dinner, I called up Sandra, and we talked for a few minutes. I wanted to ask her how she had dealt with the emotional issues and changes. She said that she didn't feel too much change, as she'd always been a passionate person. She said the biggest change was that she no longer had as big of a temper as when she was a guy. Sandra thought that since it was okay to show all her emotions, she didn't need her temper as an emotional relief valve.

I also talked to her about going to the pool and wearing my first bikini. She said that going with friends would help a lot. Her first time at a pool was by herself, and she'd really felt nervous. She also said not to worry too much, as I'd look great in a bikini. She joked that athletic girls like me could get away with wearing something like that. She also reminded me that just because someone looked at me, that didn't mean they knew my true gender. She told me that I was an attractive young woman and I'd get looked at a lot by guys.

I felt that I could talk about anything with her. She was like an older sister. I mentioned this to her, and she said that she was honored that I felt that way about her.

As I drifted off, I thought about the fact that in exactly two weeks, I'd be graduating from high school. As usual, I had mixed emotions about it. Part of me couldn't wait, and the rest of me wanted high school to go on forever, but that was silly, as all good things must come to an end.

Wednesday afternoon Laura, Cat, and I drove over to the salon. I was getting my legs waxed and also a bikini wax. I had been getting my legs waxed all year, so I was at least used to the process. I was a little nervous about the bikini wax. The woman who did the waxing was pretty cool, and she told me that it wouldn't be that bad. Her name was Linda.

Actually, there isn't a lot of pain with getting your legs waxed. The first time is pretty bad, but it gets better as the new hairs aren't as thick and come out with less pain. It does sound worse than it feels. The sound of the cloth strip being ripped off is far worse than it actually feels.

I was lying down on the table and being put in various positions by Linda. I just moved as she told me. She told me that she'd be using a different type of wax for the bikini waxing. It was thicker, and she didn't use cloth strips with it; instead, she just pulled it off when it hardened.

I really didn't think I had that much hair down there, but she showed me how necessary this was. I was amazed by the difference. It was a bit strange, at first looking down at my pubic hair being so orderly and neat!

Of course, Linda knew my true gender. It really didn't matter to her. She thought it was great that I was being true to myself. She said that when she'd back in LA, she'd many transgender customers along with many regular guys.

"Really?" I asked. I was on my back with my left leg extended straight up towards the ceiling.

"Oh, yes. Guys would come in to get waxed so they'd look better on the beach. I also did a lot of surfers. Some even got their whole bodies waxed so they wouldn't get irritation from their wetsuits," she explained.

"Any guys around here get waxed?" I asked. I was allowed to lower my leg.

"Yes, a few. Some are really into bodybuilding, and some just like the feel, or maybe their girlfriends like it better." She started to laugh.

We talked a little about California as she finished me up. She put a soothing gel on my legs and around my bikini area. I thanked her and got dressed. I waited out front while Laura and Cat got waxed.

The receptionist and I talked while I waited. She told me that they'd been threatened by the Rev's people with 'problems' unless they gave a 'contribution.' Their owner had told them to 'go to hell' and threatened to call the police unless they left. She went on to say how she was glad that the police arrested them all on Saturday.

When Cat and Laura were finished, we headed over to the pizza place to catch up with the gang. Paul and Caroline were there, along with Alex, Kristen, Mike, and Tracey. Caroline was showing off her new driver's license with her new name.

"I can't wait until I get mine. The paperwork is due to be approved later this week," I exclaimed. "I want to have my new ID when I check in the hospital in a few weeks."

"Why are you going to the hospital?" asked Mike.

"I'm getting my nose fixed." I pointed to my bent nose.

"That's nothing to sneeze at!" quipped Paul. This was met by groans.

"That was low, even for you," groaned Caroline.

"Are you really going back to NYC? I'd love to go there," sighed Kristen.

"I'll take you there when I win the Heisman Trophy in a few years," bragged Alex.

"Like that will ever happen!" joked Mike. "Besides, I'll win it before you."

They started a playful argument about who was most valuable to a football team, the quarterback or the defense.

Kristen ignored them and asked us about the trip. I really wished that she could have joined us.

"I want to hear about everything when you get back," Kristen requested. "I'm going to live there someday."

I was impressed by the determination in her voice. I really believed her. She still lives there, by the way. I try to see her once a year so we can catch a show and dinner together.

Mike and Alex would be gone by the time I came back from my nose job. They were expected to get to college and start working out. Granted, they weren't allowed to officially work out until August, but they wanted to get into the team's training facility. I would miss them both.

The biggest thing that happened on Thursday was that my name was officially changed. Mom told me that Sam was picking it up on his way home from work. Needless to say, I was a constant clock-watcher at work that night. Naturally, I told all my coworkers why I was so wired that night.

I also gave Mrs. Lincoln a thank you letter for being at the rally. She said that it was unnecessary to thank her, but I know she appreciated it. She also told me that she'd be taking me off the schedule starting a week from Sunday.

"You will have graduation on your mind, and you also will need some time to recover from your operation. Besides, I doubt if you will feel like working for a while as you recover. I don't want you back in here until you are 100 percent ready," she said. "One more thing, dear, you are to call me immediately if you have any problems while you are in the city."

"Yes, Mrs. Lincoln. I really appreciate your concern."

I drove home in my new car; well, it was new to me! It was cool having my own wheels.

Sam and Mom were in the kitchen having dinner when I arrived. It was pasta with marinara sauce, and I eagerly filled a plate and joined them.

"Did you get it?" I asked Sam.

"Was I supposed to get something today?" he asked. He then went back to eating.

Mom just shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her wine. I caught her little glance over at Sam and his wink back!

"Very funny! Come on! Please let me see it!" I begged.

"Oh yes, there's that document in my briefcase. Do you really want to see it?" asked Sam. "Why don't we wait until after dinner?"

"Please!" I whined.

Sam picked up his case and opened it up. He went through his papers very slowly until he pulled one out.

"I guess you mean this one." He handed it to me.

I was trembling slightly as I read it. There was a lot of legal wording, but then I saw it - my new name. I then did a double-take and looked up at Sam and Mom and smiled.

"We knew that you wanted it that way," explained Mom. She had a big smile on her face.

I looked back at the paper and saw that my name was legally 'Erika Jean Warren".

"Thank you!" I exclaimed as I got up and hugged and kissed them. "You don't mind about the last name?"

"No! Of course not, besides it will soon be my last name too," stated Mom.

"I'm honored to take your name, Dad." There was more hugging and kissing. Then I started to cry, and Mom started to cry. Sam didn't cry, but he was definitely moved by the moment.

Sam said I could go to the DMV on Saturday to get my new license.

After dinner, we were sitting in the kitchen. Of course, I was drinking tea, and Mom and Sam were having coffee.

"How do you feel, now that it has had a chance to sink in a bit?" asked Mom.

"I feel good, although there is a bit of sadness over giving up my old name," I replied. "But no regrets."

"That's an honest response," remarked Sam.

I called up Laura and told her about my name change, and then I called Cat. They were both happy for me. I wanted to call up everyone I knew, but I stopped there.

Mom said she'd stop by the school and put in an official request to have them change my records. One of the nice things about the last name change was that it didn't change me much alphabetically. I went from Walters to Warren.

I ran into Caroline and told her about the change. She gave me a big hug. I also asked her if she'd picked out her bathing suit yet. She said yes, and that she'd bought a one-piece. I told her that I was getting a bikini.

"You're pretty brave for wearing a bikini. There's no way I could do that," she remarked.

I also ran into Ms. B, and I told her about my legal name change.

"What did you say your middle name was now?" asked Ms. B.

"Jean. Mom named me after her best friend who was killed in a car crash," I explained. "Why?"

She smiled. "Actually, that's my first name. I started using Nancy, my middle name, when I began working here because there were three other Jeans on staff at the time. Some of my friends from college still call me Jean sometimes."

"I knew it was a good name." We hugged briefly, and I headed off to class.

After school, Laura and I went over to Yvonne's to get the bikinis. We took my car this time.

She did a great job, and my "maleness" was hidden quite well. The bikini top with built-in pads fits better than the one with pockets. She had an extra padded one in that color, and so I was all set. I thanked her for a great job, and I paid for both of them. I still didn't know if I had the courage to wear one in public.

"I can't wait to show you off tomorrow," bragged Laura.

I was secretly hoping for rain!

We planned on meeting Cat and Matt later on for dinner. In the meantime, we went to Spencer's to kill some time and talk. I got lucky and found a close parking spot.

Laura followed my lead and also got a fruit smoothie. We plopped down on the couch and talked about school. Technically we only had two days of classes left, like Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were finals, and those were half days. I'd gotten really lucky with my exam schedule. I only had written finals in three classes, Child Development, Law & Enforcement, and American Lit. My photography class only required a portfolio of our work, which I'd already turned in, and PE didn't have a final. It worked out that I had one final each day. I was so glad that I had front-loaded my schedule back in San Diego!