The Women's Job - The Associate - Part 3

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Bonnie greets me when I come through the door. “Honey, I love this new you, and I can’t wait to see you showing me how some of these clothes look on you. I thought you were going to seek to go the other way on your camis undershirts.”

I wasn’t the one who picked them out. I’m a man so I am only mildly interested in seeing them. I thought they bought four but there are at minimum seven-plus more new tops. There are also two with a lot of lace and two more that are pure satin. The chest pads instead of being a quarter-inch or less are now plush smooth and soft.

Bonnie soon has me out of my clothes and is putting one of the camis on me along with one of my new satin panties for men, very different from my usual. With my first silky beige shirt, the camis become invisible as long as the second to top button is done.

I do not feel the difference when Bonnie hugs me. She only tells me that it is fine. She loves the slacks that go with the cummerbund and tux. I tell her I think it looks too feminine, but she swears it is a cool metro look. The clothes helped to arouse me, unlike anything I’ve experienced. With the first change of clothes, Bonnie has me relaxing with a glass of wine. We’re sitting around visiting.

I am more than ready to unwind from the day. Bonnie sweeps her fingers through my hair as we share a passionate kiss. She undoes a few buttons for me and I settle down as she’s being supportive. I’m feeling sad as I’ve not been there for Bonnie like she has been for me.

Bonnie has beef stroganoff simmering for our dinner. I tell her of my being able to schedule time with Marjorie Lourdes. We both know the preparation time during the night pays off. I had changed into a different pair of slacks, and a more casual pastel blue camis along with a new pair of slippers that I didn’t remember buying. I shake my head as I was actually feeling comfortable in most of my new clothes.

I am sitting watching Bonnie as she’s correcting school papers. I know some of the students’ names but this is a first where I am taking an interest in how they’re doing, their handwriting, and Bonnie’s comments to them. I’m proud of her,

Bonnie, “Do you have off early tomorrow and have this weekend off?”

I tell her, “Most the associates are regularly off by 3:30 or 4:00 on Fridays unless we have pressing work. I will need to go into work for a couple of hours Saturday but I’m sleeping in if you are.”

Bonnie asks, “If I get you a bra and heels would you mind if we go out tomorrow night as two girls out on the town? I think it might help the two of us to relax and have a good time.”

I’m staring, thinking about what she’s asking, wondering if it’s a real question. The last time we did something crazy like this was over a year ago Halloween. The difference now is I would intentionally look like a young woman. I am upset with work pushing a feminine image. Bonnie and I decide to do it with me pressing that it is only for fun. Telling myself it’s different from the pressure I feel at work.

Bonnie doesn’t realize it but her hands are laced together like she’s praying. That plays a deciding factor, “Yeah, but just tomorrow night.”

I am already getting excited to be with her tonight. Truthfully the clothes have something to do with it.

Bonnie’s up early to go power walking, I wasn’t planning to walk with her, but I had got up to use the toilet. When I came back to the bed, there was a pair of nice workout pants, a top, and a band for my head. Bonnie says, “If you want to walk with me please hurry.” I quickly put on a pair of socks and an old pair of cross-trainers, along with the clothes that were out. The cool air and Bonnie’s pace encouraged the brisk walk.

I copy Bonnie with both the warmup stretches and cool down. Bonnie comments, “I really appreciate you taking the time to walk with me. Usually, we’re pretty far apart when we walk.”

“I learned that isn’t really walking together and last night you took time to be there for me. I appreciated that. It was enjoyable to walk together and it was good exercise.”

The shower and getting ready are going quickly. I decide to go with a white lace camis since it won’t show and it feels extra nice. I put on a pair of black slacks and a white satin shirt with a scarf tied nicely and a black jacket. Late, I decide I’d like to change the camisole but alas I don’t have the time. Bonnie uses my roll-on concealer with makeup that blends in so nicely a person won't notice. The dark areas around my eyes are gone.

I drive Bonnie to her school early and make it to my office by 7:00 a.m. There are two trip plans on my computer to fly out to New York City and then drive to Suffolk County. One goes out Monday evening the other very early on Tuesday. Either way, I’m choosing to stay at a nice hotel. I considered driving my own car, but Dottie has a note from Katherine saying ‘No’.

I sit back, reflecting on the week and happy about how well I’ve been received by the Associates and the staff. I see my reflection and lightly laugh at myself. Thinking about tonight brings another light-hearted smile. I decide I will work to be a presentable woman on a night out. I even have it down to one pants outfit or a dress Bonnie had mentioned.

Katherine was in early and checked on me. “It is nice seeing you early, along with seeing you sharply dressed. Please continue to work on possible investment possibilities for Ms. Marjorie Lourdes. After you review Marjorie’s information, I want you to begin studying Sophie Lourdes' profile.”

She says, “I like the camisole you’re wearing today. Does this mean you’re open to connecting with your feminine side?”

I’m stunned, I’m tempted to touch myself making sure the camis is flat. I say, “It has a little more padding, being flat I didn’t think it would be noticeable.”

Katherine says, “I hope you become comfortable with it. I think you should wear a couple of them when you visit the Lourdes.”

I say, “I don’t want them thinking the wrong thing; like I’m misleading them.”

Kathy says, “I’d hope they see it as you being sensitive to them. I am sure they will prefer seeing a man more open than the traditional guys they prefer to avoid.” She pauses, “Wait until later this morning and go see what’s new with Connie at Professional Clothiers… Was she lite some items earlier in the week?”

I said, “Yes, but I’ve already purchased a lot. I feel bad that the Corporation is paying for so much.”

Katherine says, “That ends soon enough, today or tomorrow here if you shop with your special Lioness card maybe a week longer. Jennifer Attwood sees it as you investing in yourself for the company. I know Jennifer once talked to one new Associate telling her, “You’ve gone over $10,000. If you go over $15,000 I’ll want to know how you justify it. I am more interested in understanding you and your understanding of how we value you.”

Jaime walks over to them, “Yes, and I told Jennifer that I wasn’t used to wearing the more traditional business clothes worn here. It was for me an investment in being a team player. I never have to worry about being uniquely me. But Jennifer told me to figure out how to flex the style here so I don’t lose myself. I’ve already been here for four years. Carrying two large accounts and how they and my smaller stuff have gone. It more than justifies what they invested in me.”

Katherine and Jaime both say, they’re comfortable with me. It was good to hear Katherine say, “Ms. Attwood chose you because she’s sure you will do a great job. A person like Ms. Attwood doesn’t make a major change without knowing the caliber of the person she’s calling on.”

I spend much of the day working up the investment portfolio I am to present Tuesday. It includes Eoliche Euro Incorporazione an Italian wind energy company that is successfully making its way into the wider European market. Maria Bertella leads a group of women engineers and businesswomen as majority owners. Their business is not limited to women, but they are the founders and chief designers of their own wind turbine motors, their huge blades, and other design parts. It includes their manufacturing plants in which both huge and intricate parts are made. The quality of their manufacturing plants has them also selling to others.

American Fashion Network, and JESS Apparel operated under the auspices of Jaqueline Wilson. I see it as a complimenting company to Sophia’s Earth Oils, especially the fragrance division. It took some time to evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of being in some of the same markets.

Craig Technologies, Inc. in Florida, operated by CEO Carol Craig is both technologically savvy as well as a very good manufacturing concern. It has established itself in a short time acquiring a good reputation despite much scrutiny from its competitors. I value it to be worthy of long-term investment.

Before lunch, I am down to Connie, the Clothier's manager. I had called her early enough to secure my time. She, like Katherine and Jaime, comments that she likes how I am stretching the fashion wardrobe I’m buying. She shows me a new shoe from Cole Hans, a name I only knew I couldn’t afford before. She says, “I am only one of three buyers who can put an order in with our heel requirements. I have a black pair and it also comes in gray and blue; I don’t think you’ll be interested in the red, pink or silver at this time. You should get a black pair and choose one of the other two.”

Seeing them, I say, “Along with being pretty shoes the best I can say is they might be seen as unisex. I expect most people like me, will see them as women’s shoes.”

No sooner do I say that than Connie asks, “So along with the black pair, which one will you like to get. You already have one pair of slacks that will go well with them. I hope you’re comfortable enough to order two or three more.

I try joking with her, “I was wondering if you have the silver chain belt in my size.”

Connie without hesitation says, “It’s well-polished stainless steel, but yes consider it purchased.” When I do speak up and tell her I wasn’t being serious. She responds, “I’ll include it anyway. I expect there will be a time you decide it’s you and wear it. After that, you’ll want to wear it on special occasions. Along with three pairs of slacks in varying lengths, and the two pairs of shoes; I am getting a collection of panties, camis, and casual shoes to wear at home. One pair of heels is for my date out with Bonnie.

Lastly, I got four shirts/blouses one is feminine, the blue blouse with pink trim. Connie says, “You are not even close $10,000, but if Ms. Jennifer checks, I am sure she will be happy with what you have selected.”

I question, “Ms. Attwood comfortable for me? It’s an investment in the company and me being in line with what they want for now.”

She says, “If a year from now you have not worn and enjoyed your purchases from here, I will buy any of them back at my cost.” Finally, she asks, “Please let me fit you for a bra and some delicate tops to wear.” I question about wearing the camis I have. Connie informs me they work very well under your blouses, as well as over your bra. Send word down Monday if you enjoy them tonight.”

I remembered back in school, girls buying bras saying to one another that their first bras are special. Connie says she’s throwing in the cutlets and won’t charge me if I return them unused as I plan.

I gather with the other associates and assistants for our Friday noon gathering. I thought at first they were joking with me at my expense. Then they start to compliment me on my week. The detail of their compliments helps me to hear their sincerity as well as their appreciation for all I’ve done. There is no mention of a forced feminization like I first felt.

Betsy, who was to be the hardest sell in my breaking the feminine barrier, praises me for my style. “I think Ms. Attwood chose well in choosing you to break into our ranks. You seem to be a breath of fresh air. I so regretted this week and I am not one easily pleased as I’m sure you have heard.”

I tried denying that I heard any such thing until she says, “Go powder your nose it is glowing.” I did take out a compact and look. It is my embarrassed face not my nose glowing.

Betsy has been here twenty-three years as an Associate. She at forty-nine is a very savvy person and attractive. She is a bit of a feminist and she is said to only dress up when she decides. She comes over to give me a hug and places in my hand a small box of earrings. If you ever decide to wear earrings I hope you will consider these when you do.” We kiss cheeks and then she whispers in my ear, “May you enjoy your years here as much as I do mine.”

Katherine later tells me. Betsy could be a part owner by now but likes what she does. She does not like being a boss. I’ve been told she’s happy as the Senior Associate.

I am beginning to leave at four when Katherine comes along with Diane. “We are looking forward to seeing you and Bonnie tonight at the Foxy Lady. We’re wondering if you want to go out to eat alone with Bonnie. We could tell you about a nice place to eat. We could pick you two up and take you if you want. What reservations have you made?”

I look at my phone, remembering I had put it on very low and not taken it off. There are at least three messages from home or Bonnie’s phone. I was about to scream that the women were intruding into my personal life. I check two messages Bonnie left. I was to call back at once with a response that was over three hours ago. On the last call Bonnie said, ‘Diane and Jaime were wanting to get together. And since you didn’t return my calls, I insisted they invite Katherine I hope you don’t object. The first call was at 11:00 a.m. and then at 1:12 p.m. when Bonnie finally committed us.’ I wasn’t upset with her; it was me who hadn’t responded.

But hadn’t she thought about my being given a difficult time if we went as planned? Bonnie was happy to have the help of my co-workers. It is nice to be in a city large enough to have several places catering to businesswomen and the LGBT community. The Foxy Lady is enjoyed by straight women as well as those in the lesbian and transgender community, and men as some straight people go there as well.

I had been there twice before, once was when I was harassed by a large guy and a group at other nightspots. The other time was with work and the decision of the vast majority. I enjoyed my time there with friends; the music, visits, and dancing were all pleasing.

My original idea of letting my hair down with Bonnie didn’t include co-workers. Now I need to get home and get ready as well as adjust my attitude. My usual reaction at this point would be very angry and change the plans. The prior week has me now looking at things differently.

I left work early but Bonnie is already at home by the time I get there. She is gleeful saying, “Elliot, I was able to get someone to cover my school responsibilities for tonight. We’re free to have a great night of fun, isn’t that wonderful?”

I begin to speak and she quickly says, “Do you have a girl-like voice you can start using for tonight?” I smile and agree as she is infectiously happy. I say it again trying to be more feminine in my speaking. Bonnie has me change my voice just slightly and then says, “There I like that voice.”

Using the voice she likes, I ask her, “Why did you invite Katherine and the others to be with us tonight? I was looking forward to a fun night, just the two of us.”

Bonnie smiles, “I hoped you didn’t mind, but I was afraid it would be too much stress on you to carry half of the conversation, ordering drinks and something to eat. I shared with Jaime that Katherine didn’t need to be asked if they thought it would interfere with your chance to have fun. Do I gather right that you and Katherine have talked and she too is coming?”

“Bonnie, I wasn’t wanting any of them to know I was going to act like a girl with you. That was to be between us two.”

Bonnie says, “That is why I called you and asked for you to call me back. You, however, didn’t return my calls. I didn’t want to put you on the spot tonight, nor did I want to cancel. I am sorry if you feel hurt. We can cancel, I will call them telling them I changed my mind and want you all to myself.”

I say, “Bonnie, I don’t know how to speak to other women unless I’m talking investments or business. What am I to do?”

She says, “The first thing I suggest is to just greet them and then listen. Your clients are going to be women.” Bonnie says, “The truth is if all you talk to women about is business and finances; all you’re going to be is a resource person. Women want to be heard but you don’t listen to them. They won’t trust you with what’s dear to them. If you can’t talk to Jaime or those you work with. How is Ms. Lourdes going to become comfortable with you?”

The truth is that has been my experience at Lioness Investments. This is the first week some women have ever talked to me as a person. The truth is I didn’t like them much until this week.

I have a better estimation of Barb Dirks and Brook Dobbs now than I did two weeks ago. They liked my work, but I didn’t think they ever cared about me. I don’t know if I ever offended Barb, but I can’t say the same about Brook. When she was first pregnant with her Emma. I couldn’t stand her excuses for being sick and I had told her: “You’re fortunate to have a baby. I don’t understand why they’d allow you to be an Associate.” Brook left my office crying that day and I almost lost my job.