A Christmas Gift - Dec 23th, 24th

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Monday, December 23rd: Dear Diary. Today may have been like the weirdest day of my life. I'm going to try to write it all down before Monday night football starts. Okay, I came over here by my Aunt's house early this morning, like at six a.m. It's vacation, and I can't sleep in, so it totally sucks. But mom is going to work like 16 hours today, so it totally sucks more for her. I didn't complain because I knew she was going to work.

Okay, so I got over here early. My Aunt said I could play some video games, which I did. But all I got is madden 2003, and even though I'm the best ever, it got boring. I thought I could talk my Aunt into letting me get the computer by doing other stuff. I told her I would paint, I told her how I was getting all A's, I told her I would mow her lawn every other day in the summer. But, she said no. So I said okay.

Then I got to thinking, how bad could it be to dress up as a girl and just play make-believe with mom. I mean it is for a computer, and I really want one.

I mean, all my friends go online, and last night, I saw a game that you can play online and kill your friends. It looked so cool, and I bet I could kill them forever and not even get them to touch me even once. But, I was smart; I got my Aunt good. I told her that I wanted a cable modem and broadband. I also told her I wanted the game too. Guess what she said, okay. But, don't you hate that there is always a but.

Well, she said I needed to start today being a girl; this way, by Christmas, I could do a half-decent job at being mom's daughter instead of the son. I said okay. The first thing she said we needed to do was to go shopping to get the clothes for this, and she reminded me that it was going to be until I went back to school on the 6th. I said okay.

She then went to her room and pulled out the girl's undies. I told her she said not outside, she said I had to, but it wouldn't be anything people could relate to. I guess she got me because I said no, and she said deals off, and since I already agreed, then what difference did it make.

Well, let me tell you, the undies are weird. First of all, there is no whole so you can pee through; you got to pull them down. And they are snug on you, it smooshed my thing all in tight, and it couldn't breathe. They also had flowers on them, how cornball. Why girls need flowers or stuff on their unders make no sense, it's not like people could see.

Okay, so I wore them, and my Aunt gave me a pair of Jeans, they were brand new. They fit snug, too, especially in the booty and the hips. They were fine around my belly. I also wore a grey and pink shirt. I told her I wasn't going to wear pink, then she pointed out I had a pink dress shirt. I told her it was purple, and she said they were the same color. I hate when my Aunt wins arguments.

The shirt didn't even cover my belly, my belly button showed, and the whole world knows I got an outie now, I'm sure. I also got new sneakers. They were white and pink, but it was a real little pink, not like a lot, so I didn't say anything. My Aunt must have known I really wanted a computer, and I would go along with this gift for mom because she bought all this stuff. She also made me wear a hat; she said my hair wouldn't do because of all the gunk I put in it.

Okay, so I was ready, and we went to Wal-Mart again. I guess that's why my Aunt asked about my sizes yesterday because she didn't ask this time. I saw a few friends from school, but they didn't see me. Thank god.

I wasn't like a dressed girl, but I looked like a big fruitcake sissy, and I don't need people finding out. Even if it is for a computer, I doubt I could talk myself out of the beating they would give me.

Okay, my Aunt bought me an outfit a day. She wanted me to try them on in the store, but I said no. So she held it up to me and said I would be sorry if it felt tight. She got all dresses and skirts and stuff like that, really prissy girl stuff. I tried to tell her girls wore pants too, but she didn't listen, and the Walmartlady laughed and said I shouldn't be afraid to show some leg.

How embarrassing, the lady thought I was a girl. I wanted to die right then and there.

Okay, so we were done shopping, and we got home. My Aunt bathed me. That was the worst thing, I think. She actually saw me naked in the tub; well, there were bubbles, but still. She scrubbed me up except my privates. Even my booty she scrubbed.

Then she washed my hair. She did five rinses. She said I had too much gunk in it. When I got out, she wouldn't even let me gel it; she said it was part of the deal. My hair is long, cause I like looking like a skater boi. It looks cool when it's gelled, but without gel, it just sits over my shoulder a little bit. My Aunt put conditioner in it, and now it even feels soft. When this is done, I am going to have to double gel it, so it doesn't hate me.

Okay, then my Aunt dressed me. Even worst. First, she put on a clean pair of under. I told her the other ones weren't dirty and she said that she was sick. These were weird, it was a band of elastic on the sides, and the cloth only covered the front and the back a little bit; my butt cheeks were cold; they aren't used to fresh air that much. They were still tight-fitting, and Mr. Peepers has scrunched up again.

Then my Aunt put on this red dress. It was so girly I almost got sick. She then put on these little socks that barely reached my ankles. She then put on these shiny black shoes that hurt my feet. She said I looked precious. I think I look like I need to be on a funny farm.

She taught me how to walk and sit; that was my day's lesson. You can't strut like a man when you walk, which I do good. My Aunt says that you got to take small dainty steps and wiggle your hips a little. It took a lot of practice, but I almost got it. And when you sit, you put your legs together then squat. No just plopping down like you suppose to. And you cross your legs at the ankle, not on the lap. Girls always do things the hard way. Oh shit, I missed the first 5 minutes of the football game, bye diary.

Tuesday, December 24th Today is Christmas eve, Mr. diary. Only one more day until I give mom her gift. I hope she doesn't like it and tells me not to do it no more.

Okay, I don't even remember the game last night; I got tired before the end anyway. Okay, I was sitting watching the game, and then I felt a heartbeat on my willy. I never felt a heartbeat come from there; I think it's cause it was so scrunched up. I couldn't stop thinking about what I was wearing either. A stupid dress made me miss a football game.

My Aunt made me practice sitting to and how to eat like a polite young lady. Why do girls give themselves so many stupid rules to follow anyway? Well, I told my Aunt I was tired. She said I could get ready for bed, and I was like so happy cause I could wear regular PJs.

But, no. She gave me another dress. She called it a nighty. But it's still a dress. This one was the worst because it was pink, and you could see right through it. Who wears something you can see through. It had white fur on the bottom and neck, and it had no arms. Well, Aunt Jan put me in it, and my thing sprang up. I was so embarrassed she could see right through my clothes, and my wee stood up and said hi for no reason at all.

My Aunt said á¬Looks like someone likes looking pretty.á® I told her it had nothing to do with the clothes that my thing did whatever it wanted without me telling it to. It did it during a math test, for Pete's sake, and I definitely don't like taking a math test. Okay, so she let it go, thank god.

I went to sleep. But I couldn't. Let me tell you how bad it is to be a girl, and I'll be glad when this is over. That night dress felt cool the whole night, and the fur kept tickling me. And the undies kept trying to crawl up my butt, and I was picking them out pretty much the whole night. So I didn't sleep. This girl stuff is too weird.

Okay anyway. I get up, and my Aunt makes me take another bath, and she washes my hair three more times. What is it with her and this neat freak kick anyway? Then she dressed me; today's undies had little teddy bears and hearts on them. That would have been cute if I was four.

She then puts on a denim skirt, denim is cool, but this one barely covered the bears. I know girls at school get in trouble for this stuff. I think they get in trouble because boys like me try to peek. Then she puts on this white long sleeve shirt that has this big prissy heart on it.

She then does my hair; I thought I would die. She braided my hair, and she said, good thing you let it grow. After Christmas, I'm getting a buzz cut, even if I have to do it myself. Well, I had braided pigtails; that's what they are called if you have two tails and not one. It looks stupid, and I look like a 2nd grader or 3rd but not 5th.

Okay, then my Aunt says we are going to the store. I said no way, not part of the deal. Well, she says it's to pick out the computer. She got me again, can you believe it. She said no one can tell I'm not a girl. As if.

Well, I tell her that it's too cold to go out in a dress or a skirt. I figure I got her on that one. No, she got these white tights. Yucks! Tights suck. Okay, my Aunt rolled them up to my legs; I felt embarrassed she saw my undies, but at least I wasn't standing in those undies this time. They felt kind of cool, and I thought I would freeze. But they kept the cold out good. But they make swish-swish sounds when you walk. Not loud ones, but if you try to walk on a curb one foot in front of the other, you can hear swish-swish. Drove me nuts.

Okay, we didn't go to Wal-Mart or the Mall. Thank God. We went to a computer store. My Aunt bought me top-of-the-line everything. I couldn't believe it. I thought I was getting a crappy Walmart computer. But this is better than all my friend's computers put together. I didn't like the salesperson. My Aunt almost said this is for my nephew here but stopped at NEF and said, niece. How embarrassing.

I almost said thank you, uncle Jan but all I would need was to get her pissed and not get the computer.

But this guy was like, oh, we have great software. I got a hello kitty mousepad and 4 Barbie software programs. As If.

Then we went out to eat at a sit-down restaurant. People make me sick with how sweet they talked to me. Are these people blind? I don't look like a girl; I look like a fruitcake boy dressed up. The waiter even gave me a free Sunday almost as sweet as you, honey. But I ate it anyway and said thank you.

I don't pass up free computers, and I don't pass up sundaes. This was totally lame, though, that people treat me nice because I am in a skirt. Maybe they think I'm a girl but so ugly that they feel sorry for me. Any boy would look like an ugly girl in a dress.

Oh, and my Aunt was giving me pointers on how to eat like a lady, GAG GAG GAG. There are too many rules to being a girl; I think I forgot how to tie my shoes by putting too much knowledge in. No matter these shoes are velcro. Velcro sounds cool when you rip it.

So anyway. We go back to my Aunt's house. Mom is working until 10 pm. Is there a law that says no work on Christmas eve? Well, I got in and wanted to play madden. But I got bored just thinking about it. I need a new game, I guess, cause football sounds boring. Well, my Aunt said I said I had to learn how to do makeup. I'm going to do that and get it over with, then I'll do something fun; maybe I'll get a truck to play with.