As Girly As It Gets - The Dress Code - Part 1

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Terry had a recurrence of a cold and upset stomach over the weekend and spent most of his time in bed or wrapped up watching TV.  These were not activities he usually spent a lot of time on.  On Sunday, he got himself together enough to drive into the office to grab some of Moira’s herbal pills.  He decided to keep some at home from now on to prevent this from happening.

By Monday morning he was feeling better.  Due to his queasy feelings, Terry had missed a good number of regular meals lately.  He found himself indulging in donuts that Moira often had on her desk in the morning.  He was losing muscle and, his pants were getting tight.  It was weird at first.  The belt seemed to fit okay.  It was like his butt was bigger.  He just figured that some activity would get him back in shape.

By this time Moira was dropping off the clothes at the cleaners about half the time, but she was picking them up almost every week.  She picked them up after lunch on Friday because Terry usually had meetings that tied him up.  On Friday, Moira came in and asked to talk to Terry about the cleaners.  “Terry, the cleaners had a problem.  You know your black suit?”  She looked at him. “Yes.” He responded. “Well when they finished the cleaning process and they were going to iron the pants, they noticed that the seam in the seat of the pants was totally pulled out.  The entire seam was stretched and the material was pulled.

The damage was so bad that they said it could not be repaired by their seamstress.”  She reported. Terry shook his head and said, “That sucks.  Now, I have to get a new suit.”  Moira seemed to brighten up, “Well, maybe not.”  Terry looked up wondering how she was going to fix this problem. Moira continued, “I dropped by a shop that sells some nice stylish clothes and took your coat in.  We found a really nice pair of pants that look like they were made with your suit.

So I compared them to your old suit pants and I think we have the right size.  Problem solved.”  She had a big grin on her face.  Terry had never had anyone buy him clothes other than his mom.  But, if these worked out, Moira might really be filling that gap he needed.  Terry took the pants into the restroom and tried them on.  They fit differently than his other pants.  The waist seemed a little higher than usual.  But they fit really nicely and they were not tight in the butt like his old ones.  He walked back into his office and pulled on his suit coat.  It was a really good match.  No one would know this was not a suit originally bought together. “Moira, I don’t know how to thank you.

These pants fit really nicely; much better than the old ones.  And, they are a perfect match for the suit coat.  You just saved me from buying a new suit.  This is wonderful.” Moira beamed and thanked him for his praise.  Terry realized that Moira was really working out.  Moira said, “Good because since I had your card for the cleaning, I just used it to purchase the pants.”  Moira gave him the cleaning receipt and a receipt for the pants.

Terry thanked her again and changed back into the suit he had worn in that morning. Monday, Terry wore his renewed suit into the office.  Moira complimented him and several of the other office ladies mentioned that he looked great in his suit.  Terry mentioned that the pants were softer than his old slacks but they were a perfect color match.  He figured he couldn’t complain about them being more comfortable.  When Moira took Terry’s suits to the cleaners that week, they pointed out two other pairs of pants with similar problems.

When she picked up the cleaning, Moira dropped by the shop and acquired two more pairs of pants to replace the worn-out original suit pants.  When she got to the office, she took one of the two new suit sets and replaced the one in Terry’s closet.  Terry told her how happy he was and found the new pants much more comfortable.  All of the pants for Terry’s solid-color suits had been replaced.  Terry had a couple of suits that were pin-striped and there was no way Moira was going to be able to find replacement pants for those suits.

On Friday, Moira came in with a new suit for Terry.  It was a black suit with a very mild pink and white pin striping.  It was clearly a well-made suit.  Moira told Terry that one of his other good suits had worn out in the pants and that she had gone out on a limb and gotten this suit for him.  Terry was really surprised.  Moira explained that she took his old suit in and they sized the new suit based on his old one.  So, she explained, it was basically a custom-tailored suit.  Terry tried on the coat and it seemed to fit pretty well.  It did not hang exactly the same as his other coats.  But, he liked the material and Moira explained it was from the same company that made his other suit pants.

The next day, Terry wore his new pinstriped suit.  The pants had the same fit as the others Moira had purchased.  They were comfortable and didn’t seem too tight.  They seemed to be tapered a little more at the bottom than his old pants.  But he couldn’t care less.  The coat fit him well.  It just seemed to hang a little differently.  It didn’t seem quite as long as some of his other coats.  Terry seldom buttoned his coat and just observed the coat hanging open.

Had he buttoned it, he might have noticed that the coat seemed to nip in at the waist of his pants before flaring out a little towards the bottom.  Had he been more observant, he might have noted that it could be buttoned on either side.  He usually wore his coat into the office, took it off, and worked in his shirtsleeves until he had a meeting or went out of the office at lunch or the end of the day.  He found the suit material soft and comfortable.  Several people complimented Terry’s new suit when he got to work.  That gave him confidence.  Terry’s new suit was a beautiful material.

Many of the ladies noticed that Terry’s new coat was a little shorter sitting above the hips.  It seemed to have a seam from the underarms coming out to the faux pockets on the chest.  One lady noted that it was fitted a little more around the waist.  But since it was unbuttoned, most people did not notice these details.  Terry called Moira into his office.  “Moira, I really like this new suit.  It is very comfortable and I like the material.  It feels different than some of my other suits.  The material is softer and the coat lining is soft.  But I do have one little concern.

The outside pockets on the coat and the pants seem to be sewn shut.  I was able to put my wallet in my inside coat pocket.  But I had no room for pens or other pocket litter I like to carry around.  I threw some things in my laptop bag.  But I need to have certain things with me.” Moira looked at him appreciatively.  “Terry, this is a stylish suit and the designers don’t want people to put things in the pockets and ruin the line of the suit.  With your old pants, you were stretching out the pants probably due to all the things you carried in your pockets.

I’ll drop by the shop at lunch and see what they suggest.”  That same morning, Moira called the Tech Department to discuss the new distribution of I-Pads to many of the executive assistants.  She mentioned that although most of the executives were getting laptops, Terry wanted to be given one of the I-Pads instead of a laptop.  The tech department did not care and they let her know that they would deliver Terry’s new iPad after lunch.  Many of the assistants had requested the I-pads for jotting down notes and carrying to meetings instead of big bulky laptops.

At lunch, Moira picked up her solution to Terry’s problem.  After the tech guys dropped off new I-Pads for both Moira and Terry, Moira knocked on Terry’s door and entered.  “Terry, I think I have a solution for the issues we discussed this morning.”  Moira moved to Terry’s desk and Terry came around.  Moira began her presentation, “Terry, in your job having access to the internet, e-mail, and word processing are critical tools.  Therefore, you and all the other executives have resorted to carting around your laptops from the office to home.  But the laptop is not the ideal solution.  It is big and bulky and has limited battery life.  The tech department notified me that you along with other selected people in the executive offices would be receiving an iPad for your company needs.

This is a small enough unit that you can take it virtually anywhere, and it weighs much less than your laptop.  So, I called and expedited the iPad.  In addition, at lunch, I went to one of the mall stores and got a professional briefcase designed for the iPad.  It has a cover to protect the iPad and a satchel to carry it in.  In addition, it has enough room to carry some of the pocket litter you seem to need.” With that, Moira pulled out an expensive-looking small leather satchel.  It was barely longer or deeper than the iPad.  She pulled the iPad out of the bag and it was covered in a protective leather unit that had been designed specifically for the iPad.

The cover matched the small briefcase perfectly.  The briefcase, as Moira kept referring to it, had a zipper to seal the contents and the iPad inside.  There was a second protective sleeve that matched the bag for Terry’s cellular phone.  Inside, the bag had a center divider and several smaller pockets, some of which zipped shut.  The bag had small hand-sized relaxed handles like most briefcases on both sides of the top opening.  There was a long thin strap so the bag could be carried over the shoulder.

However, the bag itself was not very large.  Inside the bag, Terry finally found a wallet that matched the bag. It was a slightly longer wallet more like the ones he had seen women use.  But it matched the briefcase. Moira was clearly very proud of herself and as Terry was looking at all the little features of the bag, Moira began moving things from Terry’s laptop bag into the new briefcase.  She was beaming as she showed him how much easier it would be to carry.

Moira pointed out that Terry could take this briefcase with him virtually anywhere and always have access to his important business communication tools.  Since it had extra room, Terry could carry many of his personal items in the bag.  That would save him from having to move things from one suit to another one every day.  Terry got a little caught up in her excitement and when she offered to help him move things into his new wallet, he found himself working with her to move things into the new wallet.  He was unsure if it was a style he liked, but he did not want to hurt Moira’s feelings.

And as she kept reminding him, it matched the bag. There was a small key ring fob that snapped into a snap on the inside of the bag.  Moira slipped the fob on his key ring and snapped it to the inside of the bag.  “There,” she said finally.  “Your new case is all set up.  Even with all of your stuff inside it is only a fraction of the size of your old laptop bag.  Now each morning you can just change clothes, grab your new iPad bag and you’re ready to go.  And, technologically you can do much more than before and it is much easier.” From that moment on, Moira planned to never refer to the new case as anything other than a bag.  His bag.  Did you forget your bag?  I love your new bag.

Don’t you find it convenient to carry everything in your bag?  She’d ask him if he had something in his pockets and tell him to put it in his bag.  Within a week and a half, Terry carried everything he needed in his bag.  While he often carried it by the handles, he had taken to carrying it using the strap over his shoulder like he did with his old laptop whenever he was on the phone or reading documents or a newspaper.  As Terry’s new pants came back from the cleaners, all the back pockets were sewn shut.  Eventually, all of the front left pockets were also sewn shut.

The only available pocket was the right front pocket.  Moira did not want him to ruin the line of his clothes by carrying bulky items in his pockets.  The available front pockets were small on all the new pants.  They were large enough for a small key ring, some change, or maybe an ID.  Since Terry did not complain, Moira knew that he was using his bag or he would have noticed the unusable pockets.  Moira also purchased another suit for Terry in Charcoal with pinstripes.  It was very similar to his other new suit.  The pockets were all sewn shut to start with.  Terry’s recent weight gain in his rear and hips had been one of the things that precipitated his need for new pants.

Moira had also noticed that Terry’s face had smoothed out and his body just looked like he was holding onto a little more weight than before.  Terry had always been a smaller man.  He was only about five foot seven inches tall which was on the shorter side for a man.  Since college, Terry had swam, biked, and walked regularly.  Until his recent health issues, Terry had been a slim guy.  Since Terry had always been fit, he had never put on significant weight before.

The weight gain in his rear end and loss of general body muscle was upsetting, but he was confident that once he got back into a routine, his fit body would return.  Terry had been hoping to feel better soon because the weight gain was beginning to bother him and he was reluctant to discuss it with others.

The next day, after a few cups of coffee, Moira noticed that Terry was looking a little out of sorts.  “Terry, are you feeling alright?” Moira inquired. “Not really.  I think I may be having a relapse of that cold/flu thing I had a few weeks ago.”  Moira suggested, “Well, the health office has a nurse practitioner on staff today.  They are doing annual physicals for employees.  They can fit you in if you want to get their opinion.  Maybe they can give you some kind of shot or something.”

The nurse took Terry’s pulse and temperature.  She asked questions and made notes as she went along.  As she was examining him, she told Terry to take off his shirt so she could listen to his lungs and heart.  The instruction was more of an order and Terry responded quickly without thinking.  As he pulled his shirt off, he remembered that he had been gaining weight and had some flab on his torso.  He kept his T-shirt on.  It was a little embarrassing, but this woman was a professional.  The doctor listened with a stethoscope to his chest on both the front and the back.  She felt around his ribs and examined his abdomen.

Then she pulled something around his waist from the back.  She slid it up to below his chest and finally across his chest.  She gave him a vitamin shot she said would help give him some energy.  Terry and the guys used to go to the infirmary and get vitamin B shots after long drinking weekends in college. After writing some notes in her files, the nurse told him to get dressed and that they could talk in her office.  “Mr. Moran, your lungs and heart sound good.

You do not have a fever and nothing else seems to jump out at me.  I think maybe you have just overworked yourself and you are not letting your body catch up.  I suggest a relaxing weekend of sleeping and I will give you a suggested diet to keep your energy up.  I think that after a few days of serious relaxation with no drinking, no work, and no serious concerns you will feel like a new person.” Terry considered her evaluation.  He had been working pretty hard.  “I am willing to give it a try.  I usually have a trouble totally cutting myself off from work.

That’s one of the ways I have been successful.” The nurse smiled, “Great.  I’m glad to hear that.  Now there is one other matter we need to discuss.  I want you to understand that as the person designated by the company to perform the annual physicals, I have certain responsibilities and I need to tell you something.” Terry did not understand.  “I find these things work out much better if you just tell me.  Let’s not sugarcoat it.  Get to the point.”  Terry looked expectantly at the nurse. “Well Mr. Moran, I noticed that you have gained some weight since your last physical.

You are in fact collecting excess fat in some unusual places.” “Yes,” Terry responded.  “I know.  Since I have felt under the weather, I have not been working out the way I used to.” The nurse paused and looked Terry directly in the eyes.  “Mr. Moran, according to your measurements, your chest measurement below your chest is two inches less than the measurement around the fullest portion of your chest.” Terry was clueless about why he cared.  “So what?” The nurse answered slowly and seriously, “Well, Mr. Moran, according to the company dress code, you will be required to wear a brassiere to work from now on.”  Terry blinked.

He tried to say something and choked.  All of the dress code rules were rolling around in his mind.  Finally, he muttered, “What did you say?” The nurse responded, “You have to wear a bra to work.  Your chest difference is such that the rules require you to wear a bra.  The rules were put in place earlier this year.  We have been required to measure everyone to make sure the rules are being followed.

Anyone breaking the rules can be disciplined or fired.” Terry still did not believe what he was hearing.  “Is this some kind of joke?” The nurse turned very serious.  “Mr. Moran, I would never joke about something like this.  You have breasts.  You may try to hide them or ignore them.  You may not want to admit it to yourself.  Do you think I want to be the one to tell you this?  I don’t think it is funny.  But it is my job and I have done my job.  You will have to decide if you will do what the rules require.  I am not in charge of enforcement, just reporting.”

“Reporting?” Terry asked.  “Who do you report it to?” “I put it into the system.  I already did.  If someone looks they will see that you should be wearing a bra.  Of course, if no one looks, I guess you can cheat.  But that seems silly.  With your measurements, you probably should wear a bra.  There are women with smaller chests than you who wear a bra because it helps them feel better.  If you don’t wear a bra you will have chest pain and possibly disfigurement from stretching.

Frankly, I’d be surprised if you don’t already experience some back strain and other discomfort associated with your breasts.” “You can’t expect me to wear a bra.  That is silly.” Terry looked at her with begging eyes. “Again, Mr. Moran, I don’t expect anything.  The rules say you have to wear it.  There is no option.  I am simply letting you know.  Now, you need to leave so I can see my next appointment.” Terry got up slowly and reluctantly left her office.

On his return to his office, Moira could see that there was something wrong.  She followed Terry into his office and closed the door.  “Terry, you look worse than when you left.  What happened?” Terry plopped down in his chair and looked at Moira.  “I just had the most ridiculous meeting with the nurse.  I don’t know what to say.” Moira sat down in one of the office chairs and said, “Tell me what she said and maybe I can help.  You’re not dying are you?” Terry laughed, “Dying might be better.  I’m not sure.” Moira pressed him.  “Look, I will not tell anyone.  Let me help you.

My success is tied to your success.  I’m sure we can fix this.  Tell me what happened.” Terry had no one he could ask to help him.  Terry implored her to swear her allegiance and silence.  Moira assured him she could keep his secret.  Finally, Terry asked, “Do you have some kind of tape measure around here?” Moira seemed stunned, “Yeah I think I have one on my desk.  Let me go look.” Moments later, Moira returned and closed and locked the door.  She walked over to the desk and placed the tape measure on the desk.  Moira looked at Terry seriously.  “Now, tell me what is wrong.” Terry looked at her.  “I need you to do something for me.” “Anything!” Moira quickly responded. Terry stood up.  “This will sound silly.  I need you to measure my chest for me.” Terry was caught off guard.  “Okay.”  She got up and retrieved the tape measure.

Terry stood in front of her.  Moira placed the tape measure around the fullest part of his chest and measured it. Terry looked at her. He reached his hands up and asked her to measure below his chest indicating with his hands.  Terry slid the tape down and read the number off.  She instantly knew what the problem was. Terry slumped back into his chair.  He looked up at Moira who was standing next to his desk.  He looked totally defeated. “Moira, the nurse says that my chest measurements are such that according to the company rules, I need to” and in unison, Moira said along with Terry “wear a bra to work.” “Oh my,” Moira said.  “Now, I understand the problem.”

Terry was sulking in his chair.  He was mumbling to himself.  “This is ridiculous.  Guys don’t wear bras.  I’ll be a laughing stock.” Moira sat across from him for a few minutes and let him fume.  Finally, she stood up.  “Terry, almost half the employees at this company wear a bra every day.  I say you follow the rules and simply be discreet.  But, after your history of enforcement, you know you have to follow the rules or you will be lambasted by all the employees you have been correcting since the new rules went into force.

A bra is an underwear.  If you select your clothing correctly, no one will notice.”  Except for the women, she thought; they will probably notice. Terry looked up at her.  She realized that he was expecting her to help him and work to solve this problem.  Moira looked at Terry.  “After work, you and I will go visit a quiet boutique and see whether they can help us.  Agreed?” Terry nodded and Moira left.  Terry stayed in his office for the rest of the day.  Moira made a call and scheduled an appointment for after work.