It's More Than Just A Christmas Story

PART 2

PART 1 | ALL STORY LIST

I yawned and turned over in bed. In bed! My eyes snapped open. I was in bed. I wasn't in that horrible shed I was in a hospital bedroom. The mattress was soft and I was warm and so relaxed.

'Hello Peter, how do you feel?' said a lovely melodious voice.

My eyes went over to the corner of the room. A lovely lady was sitting there with a book in her hands. She got up and walked over to me and repeated, 'How do you feel. Are you hurting anywhere?'

I recognized her immediately, it was the lady that I saw in the church with her happy family. Suddenly, I remembered my ordeal and my shame at being caught by my father and locked in the shed. I don't know why, but I burst into tears. She held me close. I could smell her perfume and feel her warmth of her as she cuddled me. This was the first time anyone had held me like this and it was so wonderful. I soon stopped sniveling as she gave me a tissue to blow my nose and wipe my eyes.

'Feeling better, honey?'

'Yes thank you. What happened to me? How did I get here?' I sniffed.

'You're okay Peter. We got to you in time. You just had a touch of hypothermia and exposure. Mind you, any longer and it would have been a different story.' She stopped for a moment and looked at me with sorrow in her eyes. 'I've been asked to tell you what has happened Peter. I am a part-time welfare officer here and one of my jobs is to help sort out any problems that children might have. I am also a foster parent and have looked after many, many children.'

She stopped a minute to get me another tissue, as my eyes were still watering a bit, and then continued.

'Your teacher Mrs. Thompson was worried about you. It seems that you had been very quiet and withdrawn since you joined the school and she decided that she would come and see you and your father just in case there was anything that the school could do to help you. She also noticed that your clothes were getting worn and she was worried that your family was finding it hard to manage. We are a small community here and we help each other out. There are funds for those of us who need help and Mrs. Thompson, as well as being a teacher also is on the committee that sorts these things out.'

She stopped talking, looked at me, and stroked my cheek. 'Now,' she continued, 'I want you to try to be brave while I tell you the rest of what happened. Mrs. Thompson knocked on your front door but there was no answer. The door was open and because she was worried about you, she went in and had a look around. She looked in the kitchen and this is where I have some sad news for you.' She held my hand.

I knew, I just knew what she was going to say.

'I am very sorry, but she found your father unconscious on the floor. She phoned for an ambulance and did what she could for him. Whilst she waited she hunted up and down your house to see if she could find you, but without luck.'

'How is my Dad? Where is he? I want to see him. Please let me see him.'

I started crying again.

'Your father regained consciousness in hospital and managed to say to a nurse that you were in the shed at the bottom of your garden. He then went into a coma and I am very sorry to say, he died in his sleep 3 hours ago.'

I buried my head in my hands and sobbed. 'It's my fault, I made him angry. I killed him!'

She gathered me in her arms and held me tight as I cried my heart out.

'It wasn't you Peter. We found out that he had a drinking problem. His doctor warned him earlier this year that if he did not stop, it would kill him. It had nothing to do with you. He was living on borrowed time. Don't blame yourself. It just happened.'

All this was too much for me. I felt desolate, lost, and confused.

Just then the doctor came in, saw what I was like, and before I knew it, I felt a little stab of pain in my arm and I fell asleep, still crying for my lost father.

When I woke up, it took me a while to realize where I was, and then it all came flooding back. My father was dead and I would never see him again. We had not had a really loving relationship. He found it difficult to show affection. But I still loved him. I was so very sorry that the last time I saw him was a time when I had made him so very angry with me.

Just then a nurse came into the room. 'Hello Peter, feeling a bit better?'

'Yes thank you.' I sniffed 'When can I go home?'

'I think that Mrs. Lambert will be picking you up this morning if the doctor says it's okay for you to be discharged. Are you hungry?'

'A bit. Who is Mrs. Lambert?'

'She was the lady who was with you yesterday.' That cheered me up a bit, she was so nice to me.

I ate my Weetabix and wondered what was to become of me. I realized that I would not be allowed to go home and live by myself. I shuddered at the thought of being put in a home. It suddenly came to me. I was an orphan. I didn't have any close relatives. With us moving

so many times, I didn't even have any real friends. There was a TV in the room and I watched cartoons all morning. It helped me to stop thinking about my future.

Midway through the morning the doctor came in and said that it was okay to leave that day. I was given a T-shirt, jeans, and other stuff to put on and I waited impatiently for Mrs. Lambert to come for me.

At about 11.30, Mrs. Lambert came in. 'Hello Peter, how are you today?'

'I'm okay but worried about what's going to happen to me. Can I go home?' I said this, knowing in my heart that it was a forlorn hope.

She sat on the bed and held my hand. 'Well honey, I'm sorry; you can't go home you as are far too young to look after yourself. I have an idea though, would you like to come and stay with my family over Christmas until things are sorted out? It's okay with the Department, as I do foster anyway and I know that the family would love to have you.'

As we drove to my new temporary home Mrs. Lambert ('call me Susan') told me that my father's funeral was on the following day and that the doctor had said that it would upset me too much to go.

'Would you like to send some flowers though and a message perhaps?'

'Yes please.' I said getting upset again.

We stopped at a flower shop and Susan helped to choose some flowers.

The lady in the shop gave me a card to put with the flowers and I wrote

on it:

To my Dear Dad,

I miss you and love you. I hope you find Mum in Heaven and are happy together again.

Love Your Peter

As I handed the note over to the lady again, I sort of felt, writing to my Dad like that was a way of saying goodbye and letting the past go. I was only 11 but in some ways, I was old for my age. I had had a strange childhood, to say the least, but I hoped that perhaps something positive might come out of all the pain and suffering.

And so it was that I found myself in a lovely house on a hill on the outskirts of town. We went up the path through the lovely immaculate garden and I could see how well looked after everything was. There was some snow on the ground it looked like a picture on a Christmas card. Someone obviously loved gardening. As we went up to the door, I saw the holly wreath with its bright berries on the door. There were Christmas lights around the door and most of the windows and it looked to me to be an almost magical place to live.

The door opened and there was the man I saw in the church. He had a big smile on his face as he said, 'Hello Peter, welcome home, please call me Mark. Come and see the rest of the mad bunch.'

That sounded so nice 'welcome home', it was only temporary, I knew but at least for a little while I could pretend to be part of a family.

Mark took my hand, went over to a door, and opened it. All of a sudden I was surrounded by what seemed to be a school full of kids and a kennel full of dogs!

'Hi!'

'Hello, Peter!'

'Woof, woof!'

I was dragged into the room and sat down in a big leather armchair.

'Leave him, alone kids, let him breathe!'

Two Labrador puppies started to lick me like mad and I had to make a fuss of them before I could get my breath back and take a look around me. Though there seemed to be loads of kids in the room, there were only two. It was the girl and boy that I had seen in the church a few days before. They were looking at me and smiling as I stroked and petted the puppies.

Mark said, 'Peter this is Simon and Joanne.'

'Hello.' I said rather shyly.

'Would you like a coke, Peter?' said Simon.

'Yes please.'

Both the kids rushed out of the room and Mark said laughingly, 'They do everything together. Now Peter, after you've had your drink, we'll show you your room. Now, what are those kids up to!'

He left as I heard shouting from presumably the kitchen.

I looked around me at the large comfortable sitting room, with deep armchairs, a lovely roaring fire, and a huge bay window overlooking the garden. Over in the corner was a huge Christmas tree with lights and balls and lots of tinsel. On top was a beautiful white fairy princess in a little cream satin gown.

'I would love to wear a satin gown.' I thought sadly.

Then I remembered my mother's case and the things under the bed at home. I wondered what had become of them. I supposed that they would be thrown out with the rubbish when they cleared the house. Just then Susan walked in.

'I hope that the kids and the dogs haven't been pests, Peter?'

'No, there're great.'

She must have seen some concern on my face and said, 'Is something the matter? You look a bit upset.'

I went very red but just then the kids came back in with my drink and some chocolate biscuits. Judging by the brown smudges around their mouths, I could see that they could not resist having a few.

'Thanks.' I said as I drank my coke and nibbled at a biscuit.

'Now you two run along and take those flaming dogs with you. I want to talk to Peter for a moment.'

With that Joanne, Simon, and the dogs ran out and shut the door behind them.

'Now Peter, can you tell me what's wrong. I can see that you're worried about something.'

'Erm, I, I am a bit worried about what will happen to stuff left at

my house.'

'What sort of stuff?'

'Well. There was my schoolwork and clothes and a case.'

'Don't worry about clothes. To be honest, when I went over there to sort your stuff out, I could see that the clothes were not really worth keeping so I got rid of them. I hope you don't mind. Your schoolbooks are in your room. I went up to the attic and had a look around. Was that okay?'

I nodded.

'There was quite a lot of junk there, but I did find a case with a label that said Gemma Roberts on it. Was that your mother?'

I nodded.

`I didn't look inside it, but I thought that you might want to keep that, so it's up in your room.'

I sighed with relief. I didn't want to be thrown out of the house because she thought that I wore my Mum's things! `

Susan took my hand and we went up a wide staircase and along a corridor to a room at the end. She opened the door and let me walk in.

It was a lovely bedroom with cream walls, a large single bed, a deep red pile carpet, and a window that looked over the garden. There was a bookcase in the corner and next to it was a computer. There was also a sofa, TV and video and a sound system. It was a great bedroom and one that I could normally only dream of having for myself.

'It's great. Thank you so much.'

'I'll leave you to get acquainted with your room. We put some clothes in the drawers and wardrobe. They should fit you. If there is anything else you need. Let me know.'

With a smile and a warm kiss on the forehead, she left me to have a look at my room. I touched everything from the bed to the computer and marveled at the fact that I was in MY room. It may not be for long, but I did consider it to be mine and I loved it!

I opened the drawers and saw that I had plenty of underpants and socks. Shirts and stuff. I then went over to the wardrobe and opened the door.

There were coats, more shirts, jumpers, and jeans in there, and then I noticed on a shelf, my mum's case!

I went over to the door and locked it and then took the case over to the bed and opened it. Nothing had been touched as far as I could see.

The clothes were still neatly folded the way that I left them before. I breathed a sigh of relief as I closed the case and put it back in the wardrobe. Just then I heard a shout from downstairs.

'Teatime Peter.' I went down to my new temporary family and had some tea.

Over the following days, I got to know everyone really well. They were all so nice and normal. They were just like I had wistfully dreamed my family to be.

There was Susan, beautiful, capable and kind. Always there when the kids needed her and always happy to give people hugs when they needed it. I needed it a lot because I still felt insecure and terribly sad about my Dad.

Mark was a strong yet gentle man. I found out soon that he was a doctor and well-liked in the community. He was always making time for Susan and the children when home from his busy surgery.

Then there were the children.

Simon was a boy about 2 years younger than me. He loved animals and he had what seemed to be a small zoo in the garden, where all the strays in the animal world seemed to be housed. There were owls and other birds with damaged wings, rabbits, gerbils, hedgehogs, and other animals that were all looked after by Simon under the watchful eyes of Susan, Mark, and a very protective Joanne. Simon was always singing around the house and never stopped smiling.

Joanne was about my age and as pretty as a picture. She was a bookworm and always had her head in a book. She loved going shopping with her mother and every time she came home with clothes. She loved dresses, skirts, and blouses and she liked to give everyone a fashion show after these trips. I looked longingly at the pretty things that she wore and wished so much that I could wear such wonderful feminine clothes.

One dress she bought particularly caught my eye, as it was similar to the Christmas tree fairies princess's satin dress. I secretly sighed as she did a twirl and showed off her gorgeous dress. With ribbons in her hair and shiny black shoes, she looked lovely.

I was careful not to show too much excitement over the dress, as I did not want anyone to know my secret. I still yearned to be a girl. But I knew I couldn't be one. I was tempted to lock the bedroom door at night and put on one of my mother's nighties but I was haunted by what happened the last time I did this.

All the time it was getting closer to Christmas. I went on a secret shopping expedition with Susan to buy everyone a small gift. One of the nice things about living with the family was that all the kids had pocket money and I was given some too! This helped pay for the presents. I bought a pair of slippers for Mark. A book on animal care for Simon, a pretty broach for Joanne, and without her looking, some nice smelling (but cheap) perfume for Susan.

The time came at last. It was Christmas Eve. All the presents were wrapped and put around the tree. All of us kids were getting excited about Christmas Day. Not least me, as I had never properly celebrated Christmas before.

It was time for bed and for once, Simon, Joanne, and I were eager to go upstairs get ready for bed and turn in as quickly as possible. I said goodnight to the other children, who couldn't stop giggling and whispering for some reason, got into my pj's, and read a book for a few minutes. There was a tap on the door and Susan and Mark came in. They always did this at bedtime and I loved it.

They came over to me and Susan said, 'Goodnight Peter, sweet dreams.' She then kissed me on the cheek.

Then Mark did the same and ruffled my hair. 'Night, night Peter, it's been great having you with us.'

As they left the room and shut the door quietly, I felt a lump in my throat and a tear came to my eyes. These people were so nice to me and had shown me love that I had never had before. It was sad that I would be leaving them soon. We hadn't talked about the future. All I knew was that I was only staying with them on a short-term basis and that things would be sorted out after Christmas. I supposed that I

would be given to other foster parents or put into a home. Anyway, I had no right to expect more. I believed that I was instrumental in killing my father, no matter what anyone else said and I felt a guilt that made me think that I had no right to be happy. How many kids do you know that made their father so angry that he had a seizure and died? Anyway, I finally stopped sniveling and put the light out.

I couldn't sleep. My mind kept going on a roller coaster of emotions, one-minute thinking of my father, then of all things the fairy on the Christmas tree, my mother's case, and the lovely family, shortly to be parted from me. I looked out of the window. There were no curtains up and the night was cold and clear. There were thousands of stars out there all twinkling in the black night sky. Suddenly I saw a shooting star whoosh across the sky. Perhaps it was my father on his way to find Mum. Then I realized that I was stupid to blame myself for everything.

It wasn't my fault that Mum died and Dad had been drinking heavily for years. Okay, I wanted to be a girl and had been caught wearing my mum's things. But I could not help being the way I was. Any more than my Dad's inability to cope with life after Mum died.

I got out of bed and knelt down. I prayed that my Dad would now be at peace and that my Mum would be there welcoming him into heaven. I felt much better after that and it was as if a great weight had lifted from my shoulders. I was still worried about the future but was sure that it must be better than the past. I finally went back to bed and slept better than I had for many days.

It was morning and I woke up with a start. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes. At the bottom of my bed were a large number of packages all wrapped in bright shiny paper. This was funny; all the presents were downstairs under the tree! I pulled a large flat package that was laying on top, over to me. On top was a label with a holly leaf on it.

It read:

Peter. Open this one first.

I opened it carefully. What could it be? I pulled the lid off. There was lots of tissue paper and when I placed it aside, there, underneath was a dress! The similar one to the satin dress that Joanne had. I lifted it out of the box, got out of bed, and on shaky legs held it up against me. It was exactly the right size. What was happening here? I couldn't understand it. Then I realized that the labels must have been mixed up. This was Joanne's present. I gave the dress one more wistful look and put it back on the bed.

I was just about to open another present when there was a soft knock on

the door.

'Come in.'

It was Susan. 'Hello, Peter, Merry Christmas.'

'Merry Christmas, Susan. Oh, there's been a mistake. I opened this present and saw this dress in it. Can you give it to Joanne for me please?'

Susan sat on the bed. 'Why to give it to Joanne, don't you like it?'

'Erm er yes it's lovely but sorry, what do you mean?'

'It's for you, silly.'

'But her boys don't wear dresses. Is it for a fancy dress party or something?'

Susan laughed and said, 'Look I hope our little surprise hasn't upset you. I was going to speak to you before this but the time never seemed right. When I went back to your old house to pick up your things, I noticed a partly burned book in the fireplace. It was only singed on the outside and I must admit to having a peak at what was inside it.'

I went very red at these words and I started to get upset. 'Oh no,' I thought. 'She is going to laugh at me and then throw me out. She thinks that this is a joke and I'm weird!'

She took one look at me and held my hand. She must have read my thoughts as she said, 'I am not laughing at you, Peter, I think that you are very brave. You have gone through a lot in your short life and we want to help you. I hope that you don't mind, but I read through the whole of your diary. I saw the pain and suffering that you were going through, being trapped in a boy's body. Most people would have cracked under the strain, but you didn't. I also know what you were wearing in the shed, they were your Mum's panties, weren't they?'

I nodded, afraid to speak.

'It must have been so hard for you, honey. Now before I say anything else, please open all your presents.'

With shaking hands and a numb brain, I unwrapped the presents. There were dresses of all shapes and colors. Blouses, skirts, panties, nighties, and all sorts of girls' things. There was a makeup bag, a purse, lots of different shoes and finally a brand new diary.

I was so wrapped up in what I was doing I hadn't noticed that Mark had come into the room. 'Do you like them, Peter?'

I looked up with a start and said, 'I can't wear these, I'm a boy, and everyone will laugh at me.'

Mark smiled and said. 'No, they won't. Joanne and Simon have been in on the secret from the start. They want to see you as you should be, a girl.'

'We want you to be happy, Peter and if that means that you need to be a girl then that is what you will be.' Said Susan. 'Now if Mark can go and see what those other two kids are up to, Peter and I are going to get her ready to look pretty!'

Mark went out and shut the door. She said 'her'. I was in a dream.

I took my pj's off and ran into the shower room. I had a quick shower and when I came back into the bedroom, the pretty cream satin dress was ready for me. I put on some silky panties with a lovely pink ribbon around the hem. They slid up my legs and were so smooth and soft. I then slipped on some silvery satin tights. The tights hugged my legs and made me feel very feminine. Then I put a petticoat that sort of puffed out at the bottom with several layers of net. Next, I put on a full cream slip, and finally, the dress was slipped over my head and buttoned up by Susan. How can I describe the dress?

It was cream satin edged with pale silk ribbons. It went to my mid-calf and fluffed out at the bottom because of the petticoat underneath. It was a dream dress for a girl in a dream! The shoes fitted me perfectly. They were silver and had a lovely pink silky buckle on the top.

'You look lovely, Peter. Now sit down and I will do your hair.'

'My hair is very short.'

'We've thought of that. Open that last present on the floor over there in the corner.'

I ran over to the present and eagerly opened it. Inside was a lovely

long straight wig, the same blond color as my hair.

'Oh,' I cried. 'It's lovely.'

Susan helped me with the wig and brushed it until it was silky smooth. She then pinned it in so that it wouldn't get dislodged and then tied my hair in a wide pink ribbon so that the hair would not fall into my eyes.

'Before you look at yourself, and as it's Christmas, you can wear a bit

of makeup. After all, it is party time.'

She put some powder on my face, pink blusher for my cheeks, mascara, and pink eye shadow for my eyes and finally she lightly brushed my lips with lipstick.

'Okay honey, stand up, and let's have a look at you.'

I stood up and could feel the soft satin swish on my legs and body. I felt so pretty and I was dying to see what I looked like.

'Now, before you look at yourself, you need to change your name. There is no way that we can call you Peter, looking like that. Is there any name you would like?'

'Rebecca, I said promptly. 'I always dreamed of being Rebecca.'

'Okay Rebecca, turn around and look in the mirror.'

I swiftly turned and had the shock of my life. I was so pretty. It couldn't be me. There was no way anyone could be mistaken. I was a girl, a pretty girl in a lovely satin dress that went down below my knees. I had lovely silky blond hair; my face looked a picture of loveliness with a hint of makeup and my eyes, looked all the bigger with what Susan had done to them.

Susan came over and said. 'Now can you see why you can't be Peter looking as pretty as you do?'

I nodded. I was speechless, happy but speechless.

'Now it's time to show the others our pretty new member of the family.'

I stopped at that and looked at her. 'Member of the family? I don't know what you mean. I thought I was going after Christmas.'

She smiled. 'Do you want to go or do you like us enough to stay and be in our family. Let me explain. I couldn't have any children of my own and Simon and Joanne are both adopted. We haven't known you for long but as far as the family is concerned it was love at first sight. We had a family meeting and we decided on two things. Firstly, if you wanted to be in the family, then we would make sure that you are, and secondly that if you want to be a girl, then a girl you shall be, there are ways to get things changed and we can afford to do it. Mark's a doctor and he knows where to go for advice about this. We will do everything we can to help you to be happy if you want us. Well, do you want to think about it and give us your answer later?'

I fell into her arms and hugged her tightly and said, 'Can I stay,

please?'

With that, we went downstairs.

The sitting room was full of noise, with dogs barking and running about. Simon and Joanne were feverishly opening presents and going ooh and ahh but everything stopped as I walked into the room.

'Ahem...' said Susan, 'Can I present Miss Rebecca Lambert, the newest member of our family.'

Everyone shouted with joy and clapped loudly. The next minute I was on the floor opening presents with the rest of the family, looking and feeling like the prettiest girl in the world. I looked up at the tree and at the fairy on top and do you know, I swear that she winked at me!

THE END.