It wasn't my Fault The chess club - Part 4

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Mum dropped me off as usual, but Jennifer wasn't there. I looked around but couldn't see her.

I could see Ben sitting on the bench where we talked yesterday, so I went ahead over to him and asked if he'd seen Jennifer Ben said he had.

Miss Bright was talking to her then they headed to her office I don't like the sound of that Ben said Jennifer is tuff'er, then she looked and said, let's play so Miss Bright doesn't get wise. As we set up the board Ben asked how did my talk with Sam and Tom go?

Did I learn anything?

Or should I say, Samantha and Tammy?

That's their girl's name like mine is Benji He said I'm lucky Alex is both girl's and a boy's name I agreed with him I learned not to trust parents and definitely not to trust Miss Bright I asked Ben How come Jay won't talk to Jennifer He believes Jennifer told Miss Bright that he was wearing boy's underwear That's crap.

Jennifer would never tell on one of us I think it was this Julie girl who I keep seeing around Jay but not with him, now and then she tries to make friends with Jay, but he keeps shooting her down as he doesn't trust females anymore  Alex said that doesn't make sense. Why tell on him if you like him?

Ben resend that Julie saw Jennifer talking to Miss Bright about the same time Jay did, so she figures if she tells Miss Bright something, Jennifer will get blamed for it and she can get close to him, but it backfires on her as now Jay doesn't trust any female at all Alex said I get you're logic, but that's a daft plan Right then, Jennifer walked up and said. That was intent. Ben, Can you find Sam and Tom before that bitch talks to them? Alex was right.  She thinks I'm going to do on you all just as the other sisters do.

Ben said yes, they will be on the next bus, and I know Miss Bright will be busy telling the girl's hockey team off as they got into a fight at yesterday's game, and girls from both teams were hurt, so we'll have time to talk ok that's good said Jennifer and how did you find out about that my friend Stacy told me it's all over face bank More importantly, what do you need to talk to Sam and Tom about Well, you're going to tell them that I introduced Alex to them as he was having trouble with being dressed as a girl, and he wanted to talk to other boys who are dealing with the same stuff as he's going through.

And they told Alex that it gets better in time and said they'd help her get through it. I can't do it, as deputy principal Dick is just inside the door watching us. I thought Alex and me could distract him, and you can talk to them. Ben said.

Ok, well, you two get going as that's their bus pulling up now. As me and Jennifer walked to the main door  I asked how are we going to do this  Jennifer said. I have no idea. As we got to the steps leading to the big front door of the school with deputy principal Dick standing just inside the door, he stood out like dogs balls. As we started up the stairs, I saw two geeks with their arms full of books heading for where deputy principal Dick was standing.

I said. I got an idea. Jennifer said what. I said geeks books. Jennifer said got it. Just as the geeks got through the door, I tripped one, and Jennifer tripped the other, and they both landed on deputy principal Dick, and he went down with a lot of shouting about students who need to watch what they're doing I made a dash for the bathroom just inside the door. Jennifer was right behind me, and we could still hear the deputy swearing.

We were in there for a count of 15, then we washed our hands then came out, and the deputy was still swearing but helping the geeks pick their stuff up.

We went back out to Ben.

And she was just sitting down, We walked back to Ben.  As we got close, Ben she said a little too loudly did you make it to the girl's room. Jennifer played along and said yes, just, but the geek club dropped their stuff on a teacher he wasn't happy.

We sat down. Ben said more quietly. The girls got your message, and they figured Miss would be nosing around. The 3 of us sat and played chess and made small talk about fashion as I was new to this world of clothes and we were very conches of the deputy hanging around the front of the school even after Sam and Tom went inside.

When the deputy started getting closer to the 3 of us, Ben looked at his watch and said it's 5 minutes till the bell.  Let's dump our stuff in our lockers and head to class, and I can't play with you in the first break as I'm teaching Jay how to play chess, but maybe lunchtime.

I say Sam's always got her bored, so maybe we can all play together in a chess club, Ben said sounds like a plan.  See you then, maybe. We head inside and stop off at the girls' room to touch up our makeup. I check the stalls, and we're alone. I tell Jennifer I hope Ben has luck with Jay. Jennifer said I do too.  She's a lovely person.  The only reason he's being petticoated is he ditched school a lot at his last school because a group of boys was bullying him about being gay, but he's not.

He really likes girls, or he did really like girls. I'm glad he was able to dodge the pills, I agreed with her. It's terrible that Sam and Tom couldn't.

Jennifer said year now they're stuck being something they never wanted to be  I felt sad for them, Let's get our stuff, As we get our stuff out of our lockers, we see Miss Bright talking to Sam and Tom.  We each give each other knowing looks and headed to class  At the first break, we went to meet up with Sam and Tom, but they were late then they came and sat with us instead of at their regular table.

Me and Jennifer felt a bit paranoid when we sat down and subtilely checked the table, but it was clean as far as we could tell. As Sam and Tom sat down, Tom said did you notice there are two more wooden caddy we said no, we hadn't noticed.

Tom said Bruce was changing the posters in the hallway, and he asked me to pass him one of the new posters when he said there were two extra flys in the lunchroom, and there will be more by next month.  I said really, Bruce, that's not good.

What can we do about them?

Bruce told me that the vibration of music could upset them. I thanked him for the heads up  Jennifer said she's planning on one for every table. Tom nodded.

I said in a quiet voice this is fucked. I'm being turned into a girl against my will. I've got these lessons to catch up on, and now I've got a sneaky principle to deal with. Jennifer puts her arm around my shoulder, and I looked at Sam and Tom and said I don't know how you deal with this. I want to scream.

Sam said on the inside, I'm a mess. After I heard what the doc told Mum. I cried myself to sleep that night Mum did ask me what was wrong.

I lied and said I just can't stop crying. She said sometimes girls just need to cry. Tom said I got really mad when Sam told me what the doc said.

I wanted to kill my mother so badly, but Sam calmed me down and told me. You don't want to go to jail looking like this. You'll end up with a saw ass, which made me giggle.

Sam and I have decided to let our mothers pay for our GRS  ( Gender Reassignment Surgery ) then we will decide what we will do from there.  Even though we both still like girls sexually, what choice do we have?

As for the dressing part, you'll deal.  You've got friends going through the same shit, plus you've got a real girl to help you and the school work, we can help with that as well.

We did all that stuff last year.  What do you need help with?

Alex said math and science.  I'm normally good at math, but I think all this other stuff is not helping. Tom said ok, show me what you've got for maths. Sam and Jennifer can play chess and can help when we need it, as Sam loves science. That's how the four of us spent the first break, Sam and Tom helping me get up to speed with maths and science.

We also talked about clothes. Sam and Tom told Jennifer and me that it was only recently that they were allowed to wear girls' jeans and shorts where.  I told them that my mum had gotten me girls' jeans, and I gulped cut-off shorts.

Sam said that's understandable.  I don't want to offend you, but you look very feminine.  We know the only reason our mums are letting us where them now is because we look like girls. I said I know I look girly, and I think that's why my mom is mainly doing this.

To protect me from bullying is a tiny part of it, but the main part is that I'll end up gay, seeing as I look so feminine, and she's helping me. I hate that she's forcing this on me. The trouble is I know when a guy is cute or handsome, but I don't see them in a sexual way, but I'm only 12.  That may change as I get older, but it's wrong for a parent to push their child into something they don't want to do.

Sam agreed with Alex and went on to say.

That he and Tom have talked about this, and they do find males attractive, but not sexually right now, but as you said, Alex, we're only 13 in time. That may change. I feel everyone is bisexual. It's just to what extent in each person, and it changes with each person over time.

Jennifer asked Sam what he meant. Sam said each human has the ability to judge beauty, but it's each person's personal makeup that they find one sex more attractive than the other and to what degree.

Some people find both sexes attractive. Some people find one sex more attractive than the other. Jennifer said I get what you mean.

It's like one guy will find girls really attractive and be able to say that another guy is attractive but mean they're attracted to females, and another guy will find girls equally attractive as guys or have a slightly better liking of guys or girls. It's just their preference.

Jennifer then said Sam, that's a lot of words to say. You like who you like. We all laughed at that and  The bell went, and we all headed off to our next lot of classes. Ben walked past us and said I think I'm making headway with Jay but baby steps.

During our lunch break, we decided to eat outside with the other girls, We saw Miss Bright wasn't happy about it. Sam and Tom kept helping me with my classes that I was behind in, and we played chess, of course. We did notice that Ben and Jay were playing at another table, and I noticed a girl watching them.

I looked around and saw that the only one watching us was Miss Bright as she was coming over to our table. I cleared my throat to let the other 3 girls no who was coming. Miss Bright said as she walked up.

It's good to see you girls helping each other. Sam said I remember when I was the new kid and had to catch up to the others, it helped when my classmates helped me, but Alex is a smart girl.  She'll catch up easily, seeing as she wants to be an engineer, she knows she's got to work hard to get what she wants.

Miss Bright looked at Alex and said you want to be an engineer. Alex said yes, like Edith Clarke, who created the Clarke calculator for graphing electrical properties. And Emily Roebling, who pushed for equal rights in science and engineering, Miss Bright seemed surprised by Alex's response.

How about you, Jennifer, What do you want to do?

Jennifer answered I want to study law, especially women's rights. And you Samantha. Sam answered. I want to study medicine and be a doctor.  That's all I've wanted to do since my dad and then my grandma died of cancer. Miss Bright said that's Admirable.

And Tammy, how about you,  Tom answered I'm with you. Jennifer, law, and women's rights as they should be treated equally in the workplace. Miss Bright seemed very pleased with our answers. Once she's gone, Jennifer said nosy bitch, and if she only knew I plan on studying human rights, not just female rights and criminal law. One day I hope to have her charged for something.

Tom said that would be nice, but I'd be happy just to make some laws to stop parents from using drugs to change their children. I looked at the table Ben and Jay to see if they were still there, and I noticed the same girl watching them. I asked Jennifer who she was  Jennifer answered that's Julie. Does she always watch you guys, or is it Ben or Jay she's watching?

The girls all said Julie is always around Jay, but Jay keeps his distance from her. And that's how it went for the rest of the week. We would play chess in the morning with Ben, and he would tell us how it was going with Jay.

He told us we were right in Jay believes Jennifer was telling Miss Bright everything, which upset Jennifer that he thought she had done that to him, but. Ben was telling him it couldn't have been her. I did tell Ben that Julie seemed to be watching them. Ben said he'd noticed her always watching them.

The rest of the day, we would have our breaks with Sam and Tom.  They would help Jennifer and me with our schoolwork and play chess. That Saturday, Mum took me shopping for clothes and some more makeup, as well as getting our groceries. I the clothes shopping I hated, but I did it as it made Mum happy.

She got me a party dress that was black and white with shoelace shoulder straps and a high low hem, and a Sunday dress that was a pale blue with a V neck and just over the shoulder sleeves and just above the knee hem. Mum also got me some Lacey underwear sets. A pair of black ankle boots, plus a white pair of pumps with a thin ankle strap and silver buckles.

She also got seven girls Batwing Short Sleeve with Lace Hollow Baggy Casual Blouses in a multitude of colors.  Denim skirts, one black, one blue, and one white. H & M Girls Canvas Lace Up Chunky Sole Sneakers are White and pale blue.

Mum wanted me to get pink, but I talked her out of it by getting my ears pierced instead, but I know sooner or later I know she'll get something in pink that I'll have to wear at least once. Then we did the grocery shopping then went home.

As we were putting the groceries away, Mum realized she had forgotten something, so she sent me to the local store that was a 15-minute walk, and here I was in a black skirt and a band shirt, and light blue canvas trainers so I had to walk to the shop to get some pasta I tried to tell mum we didn't need any, but she insisted so I had a nerve-racking walk to the shop thinking I'd get spotted and beaten up by some homophobes.

If I had the money, I'd get a taxi home, but I got there, and I was expecting some grumpy old guy, but there was a very pretty lady, so I felt a little comfortable as I looked for the pasta mum wanted

as I looked through the shelves, a customer that had just been served said thanks, Stacy. See you next time, and I immediately thought of Ben. I found the pasta shelf and grabbed what Mum wanted and slowly walked up to the counter and looked at the lady and thought she couldn't be trans she's way too pretty, but I had to ask do you know a girl called Ben? She looked at me with suspicion and said I might do.

Why? I go to school with him. I'm Alex. I tell her I and Ben or Benji have the same problem as I tugged at my skirt. I can tell she's not very trusting.  I ask her to say hi to Ben and tell him I'll see him for chess on Monday morning.

Stacy said ok and asked where I live.  I told her Winston Street was close to the park. I say goodbye and take a deep breath, and head home. I got home ok, just a severe case of anxiety.

Mum was all cheerful and asked how was the walk. I honestly told her I was scared all the way there and back  Mum said why, honey.

I told her if one of the homophobic assholes who live around here or the ones from my old school recognized me, they would have killed me. Mum said no, they wouldn't have because they wouldn't recognize you, darling. That's easy for you, mum you're not the one they will be hitting.

Mum didn't seem bothered. I just went to my room and studied till dinnertime. When Mum called me for tea, I came down eight my dinner, thanked Mum for a great meal then I did the dishes then, and said good night. Mum said why so early? It's the weekend.

I said I'm tied, Mum looked a little concerned, but she let me go without any fuss, I woke up Sunday, had breakfast then went back to my room to study. An hour later, Mum called me down and asked if I wanted to go for a walk through the park. I said no thanks, Mum, I'm studying. Mum complained this time, You can't hide in your room all the time, Alex. I said I'm not hiding I'm studying. You want me to get good grades, don't you, Mom?

Mom said yes, I do, but you need to get out and get some air. I told Mom I get air through the week at school, and I went back to my room till dinner. I did the dishes had a bath then said good night. I could tell Mom wasn't happy, but it was a school night.