Her Sissy Hubby - Part 2

PART 1 | ALL STORY LIST

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said.  Mainly to seem polite, but I meant it.  I wanted him out of here and attached to some other woman.

"I had the usual reason to want a separation, common enough.  Eventually the divorce too.  I caught her sleeping with another man in our very own bed.  Not sleeping she was being a tiger, all over him, even though with me she was always just, well, dutiful.  It's devastating to find that the person you're married to isn't the person you thought you married."

"Isn't it?" Helen put in laconically and sipped her drink like a cat swallowing a canary.  Her eyes looked at me gleaming!  Then she looked up at him and smiled ... hungrily?  At the thought of being a tiger in bed and climbing all over him?  As she'd never been with me?

I took as large a swallow of my own scotch as I could manage and yet maintain a superficial impression of delicacy, and caught a glimpse of my red-manicured fingernails.  I could never have cleaned that nail polish off, I thought, if I'd tried to change back to being Denny before I came down.  So it's just as well that I'm wearing it now, that it's helping persuade this Jake that I am what I seem to be.

"When I walked in on them she said all the things people say in those circumstances, I suppose.  What am I doing here, I'm supposed to be in Cleveland?  How long have I known?  How did I find out?  It's only sex and doesn't mean anything!  It's only happened a few times!  She never intended to hurt me, I wasn't supposed to know!  And so on, no consolation, and untrue were irrelevant.  The final decree was issued this past July, and from then on I was free."

"And it happens that toward the end of July, I suddenly found myself free too," Helen broke in.  "With no obligations.  So I told him I'd love to have lunch with him after all.  And we did.  More and more often.  We've even gone dancing once or twice too when we found ourselves together and needed to unwind after working late on some crash project.  He's a wonderful man.  I have no idea why his wife thought she could do better.

I guess we never know about anyone."  She stared at me again, obviously addressing that last to Dennis.  To her husband.

The end of last July?  What happened then to 'free' Helen from our marriage?  Nothing I knew of.  I got the Sturgis account for my firm toward the end of July, after months of hard work, and I celebrated by buying myself this very dress. That was all.  Helen went out of town on a buying trip for her company around then.  No that was early August.

Why should she suddenly feel free to make lunch dates with this guy around then?

"We've gotten along fabulously ever since," Jake continued.  He looked down on her fondly, and then as I watched helplessly, he slowly bent over, and she slowly put up her face, and he kissed her lips tenderly, and held the kiss, and held it.  He kissed my wife!  But I was only Denise, Helen's housemate, it was none of my business!  As he straightened up, he seemed out of breath.  And her face was flushed. She looked at me with her eyes slightly narrowed.  I sensed that this was in part some kind of vengeance.

Jake's hand now rested on the back of her neck, possessively.  "And today was an unexpectedly short day at the office," he continued.  "New air conditioning is installed and so on.  So she invited me back here for a drink and well, she hinted that there might be more, and I must say, the kiss she gave me just before we walked in through that door there told me to expect a lot more.   Apparently, I'm the first man she's invited her to do what she tells me you do a lot, invite men to stay overnight with her.  Frankly, I'm on air.  I didn't dare dream we'd be able to get together so completely, so quickly.  I guess men never do know how a woman feels until she's ready to show it.  From what she says, you've known much more about her feelings for me than I have.

Until today.  But that figures, you're her oldest and closest friend she tells me.  I envy you."

I had nothing to say.  They turned and looked some more at each other affectionately, and I felt left out.  It crossed my mind to tell them to get a room.  But that would be inappropriate for a husband or a best girlfriend.  And besides, it was now apparent that they'd done just that.  Our bedroom.  I rapidly finished my drink and poured another, no ice, straight scotch.

"I've always thought Helen was the most beautiful woman I've ever known," he said devotedly.  "I had no idea she's had similar thoughts about me."

"Not similar, equivalent," Helen corrected him.  "You're handsome, not beautiful, that's what I've always thought about you.  Isn't he?"  She turned up her face toward him and again he bent and kissed her.  This time with considerable heat.  Even passion.  And she seemed equally ardent.  It went on for several minutes!  I began to feel desperately uneasy.  Furious?  Despairing?  Helpless?  I wanted out!

"I must say, Denise," Jake added when at last they finished snogging in front of me and turned their attention back to the one silent onlooker in the room.  "You're a very close second to Helen.  Some might say more than that.  Two such lovely women living here together all this time! Incredible!  How have you avoided marriage?"

"Denise doesn't like to say," Helen said.  "Though I can.  For a while, she thought she was a lesbian, and maybe she still thinks she is one now and then.  A woman who is sexually attracted to other women.  But no woman can really be sure about what attracts her.  I'm not drawn to women, not at all, in fact, the idea seems a little loathsome to me.

So there's never been anything between us that way, one woman's desire for another woman, I mean.  But Denise also has more traditional concepts of herself and her desires.  At least two that I know of, one resembling a man's, and one a woman's.  Unfortunately, they conflict with one another, so she's had to choose between them, and whatever her choice she feels frustrated and ashamed.  She's tried to alternate between them, but that doesn't work.  What she'll choose finally I have no idea, and she may not know yet either.  We'll just have to see."

"I'd like to keep things the way they were," I managed to say weakly. She'd just accurately described the way I understood myself, in her vaguely allusive way.

"There's never any going back, Denise," Helen said quietly.  Firmly. Not unkindly, compassionately even, I saw as I looked at her and she looked at me.  "Not anymore.  Not ever.  We know what we know about each other and ourselves and we move ahead.  That's what I'm doing.

You'll have to do that too.  Make the commitment to yourself you find most satisfying and go with it."

I was silent.

"You see," she said to Jake.  "Denise may have led a racy life, a hidden life in some ways, but in fact, it's been quite tame.  There are two of her.  There's the person she is now, what you see, a somewhat sophisticated party girl, seductive though still rather shy about it. And there's the person she grew up as, someone who thinks she's proper and conventional, and frankly, much less interesting.  Whether she should commit her life to being one or the other, the Denise we see in front of us, or that other person, that's something she's never properly explored.  But now you'll have to, won't you, Denise.  You'll have to choose who you are!"

I thought I knew why.  Because now that she knew, Helen did not intend to keep Denise's existence a secret.  And now Jake knew about her too. Word would spread.

"You'll have plenty of opportunity.  It's a pity I won't be here to advise you what to do.  Next week Jake and I will be off on a holiday cruise we made the arrangements just before coming here.  Then when we return Jake is moving in here with me.  You're welcome to stay of course.  But you'll have two weeks alone here to make up your mind about what you want to do.  You really do need to give it some thought. I suggest you spend the time extending your horizons, Denise.  For example, where are you going now?  You're nicely dressed, rather fashionably in some ways.  Out on the town?  Of course, but where?  Visiting which nightclubs?  And do you plan to spend the night here or somewhere else?

Maybe you'll want to bring someone back here with you to spend the night, like I've just done?"

Helen was being blunt enough about Jake and her intentions for him, and her reasons.

"I haven't made up my mind," was all I could think to say.

I'm sure I sounded plaintive.  Lost, She was pushing me out of my own house now so she could go upstairs and fuck this man uninhibitedly.

This Jake.  In our own bed, supposedly her own lone bed.  To do to me what Jake's wife had done to Jake.  Was this grounds for divorce?

Obviously, Helen didn't care.  She was going to do what she was going to do, and leave the rest up to me!  Essentially, she wanted me to commit to being her husband and living as a man, period.  Or else commit to being Denise, to living Denise's life, to being a loose-living, gossipy girlfriend and not her husband.  One or the other, that is, after she's returned from her two weeks of revenge fucking Jake because I'd deceived her by not letting her know that now and then I was Denise.  If she'd still want me after spending two weeks with Jake, who did certainly seem devoted to her!

"Well," she said equably.  "If you aren't sure you're coming back here tonight, remember to take your purse with you."

I glanced wildly about for just a moment.  Purse?  What purse!  And where would I stay if I wasn't coming home?  My money, my credit cards, my IDs, everything was upstairs in the wallet in my pants.

"I saw it on the hall table when I came in, " Helen said with equanimity, her expression helpful.  'Really, Denise, someday you're going to lose it, forget once too often where you left it, and then there'll be endless problems replacing your licenses and papers and things!  How will you ever persuade anyone who you are?"

I looked out at the hall table.  There was Helen's purse perched there.

It had all of Helen's papers in it of course, and a credit card on our joint accounts. I might have to use it.  In fact, I had no purse of my own.  I'd never been outside the house on my own as Denise.  I had no choice but to use it!

"Just drive carefully, is all," she said with pointed significance. Meaning, don't do anything to attract a cop's attention, because Helen's picture on her driver's license does not much resemble your face.  She saw I understood her and leaned back comfortably.  She'd been drinking wine.  She took another sip.

"Jake and I will be upstairs the rest of the afternoon," she said smugly.  "Just as you advised me.  I'm really eager to ... get close to him.  To see how he feels inside me."  She threw him a quick glance to be sure he wasn't embarrassed by this intimate talk, and then threw me a glance of pure triumph!  Plainly, she felt fully justified.  Every time I became Denise I'd betrayed our marriage.  I'd been unfaithful to her!

Getting intimate with another woman!  I should have been a one-woman man!

But there were still mysteries here!  How had she found out about Denise?  How long has she known?

"Later when we get hungry we'll be going to 'Le Bistro' for a light supper, and later on to Corey's Club for sociability and dancing.  Maybe we'll see you there with whoever it is you'll be with tonight?  Even if by then you're by yourself, I know how unreliable your boyfriends can be, some of them, with their sudden out-of-town trips and their floosies on the side and all.  Jake is a fabulous dancer I'll spare him for one dance with you before we come back here.  Oh, better yet, meet us at Corey's and we'll introduce you to a whole raft of available young men who'd love to dance with you!  Your cell phone is in your purse I take it?  Good, let us know your plans when you have any.  If you'll be coming back here tonight with someone, even if you're alone, let me know so I won't set the chain when I lock up.  So you'll be able to get in with your key.  Just give me a call."

She smiled broadly now, her small white teeth gleaming.  As were her eyes.  "When you do get in, if you do, try not to wake us if we happen to be asleep.  It's not likely, given the way we feel about each other right now!  But you never know.  We may wear each other out." Again, that triumphant grin!

She looked over at Jake fondly.  He tried to look modestly worthy of her affection, and his glance at her was equally affectionate.  Then she smiled.  "Not likely though.  I doubt I'll ever get enough of this marvelous man.  I do hope we won't keep you awake.  Though your room at the end of the hall is far enough away from my room I suspect.  It isn't likely you'll hear us much."

So our room was now hers.  My room was the one at the end of the hall, a guest room she'd never bothered to enter, I'd thought.  It had a bed, but we'd always used it for storage.  There in the midst of the clutter was where I'd hidden Denise's stash.  For years.  Plainly, Helen had entered that room some time or other and saw my accumulated dresses and blouses and gowns hanging in that closet, maybe also my beloved collection of delicate bras and panties and so on, the intimately feminine articles I hoped could confer that same femininity on my body.

She'd deduced from their styles and sizes that most of them were acquired over several years and all of them were mine.  And then she'd gone watchful.

"We'll both see you here in the morning, if you get stood up, or you don't hook up with anyone, or you decide to bring someone back here. But you have nothing to worry about.  You're a beautiful woman, and I know you love feeling sexy.  Given all the guys who hang out at Corey's, one of them is sure to offer you a bed, honey.  You're gorgeous!"

Was she referring to that gang of single men who gather there nightly to prey on unescorted women who happen to wander in?  I'd seen them operate!  Or good God, this was a Thursday!  I've always avoided Thursdays at Corey's.  Thursday was Gay Night, set aside for gay men to meet, drink, dance, and go off together, whether they look like ordinary citizens, metrosexuals, musclebound thugs, or delicate femmes!  Is that where she thinks I belong?

Maybe not.  Thursday is also Lesbian Night at Corey's.  Could she be inviting me to go find some woman there who, unlike her, would be intrigued by my desire to look like a woman, to become one?  Maybe she hoped I'd take up with such a woman and get out of her life!

Or maybe, since I seem to want to be a woman, she hoped I'd explore with such a woman which sex I prefer to be when having sex?  And if a woman, whether I'd prefer sex with a man?  Helen was devious enough to have any of these things in mind.

Now Jake took charge.  Graciously.  But obviously, he was getting impatient to take my wife to bed.  And there was nothing I could do about it without revealing myself.  What should I do?  Resist, stand revealed as the effeminate sissy I seemed to be, undeserving of a real woman?  Or alternatively, yield, and be known forever after to myself and to my wife as the willing, pitiable cuckold I'd let myself become?

Jake stood up and held out his hand.  "Well, it's been good talking to you, Denise.  I'm delighted to have met you at last.  I hope we'll be seeing a lot more of you!"

"Oh, we will," Helen said tartly.  "We'll see quite a bit of Denise from now on, coming and going.  Count on it!  She has nowhere else to go now!"  And then directly to me.  "Honey, this is all your doing!  I'm really grateful to you for everything you've informed me about love and trust and so on, all of the things I've had to think through before taking the plunge, and inviting Jake to stay here with me tonight.  Even for our plan to go cruising.  I'm especially grateful to you for all the unspoken things, everything you've exemplified about relationships.

When we're next alone together and we have a chance to talk, we'll go over some of those things."

"Meanwhile," Jake broke in.  "It occurs to me, Denise, do you have anything on for this coming Saturday night?  I have a friend who'd love to meet a gorgeous girl like you if you wouldn't mind going blind on a double date with me and Helen!  I know you'll be glad to know him he's a terrific guy."

"I'm sure," I said ambiguously.  "But I don't know!  Ask me again."

Date a man?  By now I only wanted to get away.  I was sure I was about to burst into tears and risk ruining my mascara, waterproof or not.

Then I'd have to stay and fix it, and I wasn't sure I could take any more of this.

"That's a wonderful offer," Helen said, beaming.  "Let me accept for you, Denise.  Jake here is going to be part of our lives for some time, so the sooner we all get accustomed to each other the better.  A night out with a friend of his is something you'd enjoy, I'm sure.  Men are fun, every girl learns that truth sooner or later.  There are things you can only do with men that I love doing!  And it would help take your mind off other less pleasant things."

I just stood there.  I glanced at that purse of hers in the hallway.  I knew it had the keys to my car as well as hers.  I just wanted to go!

"Oh yes, I haven't said anything about it yet, but I do love that dress you're wearing," Helen added.  "Ever since you bought it, when was that, a few months ago?  Around the end of July?  At Tolliver's sale?  I happened to be there then and I saw you holding it in front of a mirror, trying to make up your mind about it and trying out a few others as well.

At the time I wondered if it was for me or for someone else.  And when my birthday came around a few days later and you gave me a necklace, not that dress, I thought it must be for some other friend of yours.  So I got curious and searched around, went looking for it, and found it was for you!  Safe in your closet, waiting for a special occasion like this one for you to wear it.  Along with all the other pretty dresses and things you have in that closet.  And those dresser drawers full of fancy lingerie?  Honey, do let me advise you.  You need to wear all those things every day, all the time.  Let the world see you in them!  Let them see what you are!  Be proud of what you are!"

She got up and walked with me toward the door, picked up her purse, and handed it to me.  "If I don't see you at Le Bistro later, I hope I'll see you at Corey's later still we'll be sure to stop by, even though strictly speaking it won't be our night there, it'll be more yours.  Though the regular crowd will be there too.  If not until breakfast, that's fine too.  And if not until tomorrow evening when we both come back here after work, well, enjoy yourself!"

She turned toward Jake, who was still standing and waiting for her.

"Jake, I know you won't mind going upstairs now.  Denise knows how it is.  I can't wait!"  She hugged his arm and then they ascended together, talking in low voices to each other.  At the top of the steps, they melted into each other and together went into our bedroom.  And closed the door.

I turned and walked out the front door and closed it silently behind me, aware that this was the first moment of the first day of my entirely new life.  What should I do now?  Rent a motel room for the night and lie there and brood?  Meet them at 'Le Bistro' later on, and make animated conversation with the man who'd just fucked my wife and the wife who'd so eagerly cuckolded me?  It would give me a chance to practice being their female confidante, if nothing else, charming, sympathetic, and sociable.  Or go to Corey's and watch the crowd from a distance?

Mingle with them?  With which crowd, the 'regulars' or the gays or the lesbians?  Return home and listen to Jake and my wife making out all night, Helen moaning and screaming her joy, she can be noisy, and sound does carry down those corridors?  Should I bring a guy home myself, and find out for myself how it feels to be a woman who's well laid and try to drown her out?

My morale was down in the cellar.  I didn't know what I was going to do.

But then it occurred to me.  Jake was going to be around for a while.

That means Denise will be too.  She'll have to be if only to protect Denny from the pangs of humiliation he'd feel every time Helen and Jake touch each other, different from the humiliation he'd felt when Helen first called upstairs to him and made him aware that as a man, he was not merely vulnerable, he was a failure!  Or rather called upstairs to me, and invited me down to meet her friend.  As a woman, I'm not at all vulnerable.  I'm not even a sissy cuckold.

Denny was a coward afraid, for example, to tell, his wife anything whatever about Denise.  Did Helen have this in mind when she'd called to me to come down and then seemed to ignore Denny's existence altogether?

Of course, she did!  She'd already made allowances!  She'd given Denny two weeks to cease to exist while she and Jake are on that cruise ship, time enough for him to arrange for me to replace him at work as well as at home.  Time enough for me to get accustomed to my new gender and roles and responsibilities.

And pleasures. There were lots of pleasures in store.  I realized that over the years my closet had accumulated samplings of all sorts of women's clothing, and I loved wearing them all, but that there weren't enough to fill out the variegated wardrobe I'd need for daily wear for all sorts of occasions.  I didn't even own my own purse, not even a small clutch purse much less the shoulder bags women carry these days. !  What to do to boost my morale?  What does any woman do when she's feeling low?  Go shopping!  Buy herself a new purse and a few new dresses, and try them on in the store for once!  And buy lots of other things!  Go to a salon and get some expert advice about looking beautiful, and then do it, become beautiful!  See that the right hormones are flowing in your bloodstream, so gradually you develop the right kind of body, one that's curved and soft in the right places.

Go to Corey's Club evenings, and watch men fall all over themselves to earn a small smile from you, and do more still to earn your larger, more intimate favors.  Indulge yourself!

Given the way things are now and are likely to remain, why not?

The End.