Womanhood - Husband Feminized By His Wife - Part 4

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I had been out en femme before, but only with Jill, but this time all the sensations were heightened. I could feel the breeze on my nylon-covered legs, hear the click of my heels on the pavement, and feel the tug of the bra straps on my shoulder. I was also conscious of everyone looking at me, but it was probably no more than usual. Reassuringly the trip was completely uneventful and I returned after about twenty minutes with the milk as requested.

I closed the door behind me with a sigh of relief, hung the bag and jacket up, and took the milk to the kitchen where Jill was preparing supper.  “Well how was that?” she asked.  “Nerve-wracking.”  “But you passed, didn’t you? No one suspected anything.” She came over to me drying her hands as I nodded and then shook my head. “Of course you passed, you have a good teacher,” she smiled, “and you’re a dedicated parent, doing what you can for your daughter.

Now while dinner is cooking, let’s make sure your handbag is properly ready. There are some things every handbag needs.” This included a small zipped bag containing lipstick, tweezers and a compact with a mirror, some breast pads in case I started lactating and couldn’t feed Amelia straight away, a folding hair brush, a packet of tissues, and a couple of tampons and panty liners. I raised my eyebrows at the last items and was told that it was all part of the disguise. Once we had done, dinner was ready.  Lying in bed a little later, Jill started asking what my plans were for the following day. I confessed I didn’t have any.  “How about a small shopping trip? I mean I am happy for you to use my clothes and jewelry, but a girl should really have her own make-up and underwear.

You’ve only got one nice bra that fits now as well as your nursing bras. You’ve also only got one nightdress. Anyway, it’s up to you, I am sure you are perfectly capable of buying your own clothes,” she said kissing me goodnight.  I lay awake for ages thinking about this. My first thought, strangely, was what do I need, followed by how is it going to feel buying feminine underwear by myself. I decided to leave that problem until tomorrow.  After Jill had gone to work the next day I fed Amelia.

It really was a strange sensation sitting there having a baby suckling at my engorged breast, not something my upbringing had prepared me for. Bizarrely I wasn’t complaining. These moments were special and quiet. I had calm music in the background and Amelia to myself. I was strangely happy. Once she was done and dusted, I packed her changing bag and my handbag. I got her ready in the pushchair, checked myself in the mirror, and took the brave stepping of going outside.  I was comfortable in the area now and was beginning to recognize certain people, however, this first venture out with Amelia worried me.

I was worried about people recognizing me as the man who had moved in almost a year ago. I was worried that they might think of me as some kind of weirdo rather than a father willing to do anything for his daughter. However, due to the shades I was wearing, my appearance (I hoped), and Amelia that wasn’t really an issue. Most people were more interested in her than me.  Following Jill’s suggestion, I headed to the clothes store. This seemed like full immersion therapy with me dressed as I was and with my baby in tow.

As I had been walking I had been making a mental note, a new bra and panties, a new nightdress and nightgown, and possibly another pair of shoes as I only had the ones I was wearing and the jade satin pumps.

In the end, I came back with much more. As I had gone to the same store as the one Jill had used for my spa day outfit, I was able to buy a spare pair of panties to go with the bra she had bought me. I picked up another bra in a different color with two pairs of matching panties from the same line as I found it so comfortable.

I found a deep plum knee-length nightdress and matching gown, and while I was in nightwear, I also picked up a pair of slippers. In footwear, I tried a couple of pairs of shoes on but decided on some nude court shoes with an inch-high heels. I really was getting into the swing of things. While I was there I popped some sheer glossy tights in the basket. My eye was also taken by an offer on running shoes, I guess at the end of the New Year’s resolution sale, so I picked up a pair. I had seen many mums running through parks pushing a pushchair and thought, why not me? That meant running kit.

Rather than just leggings which I felt would be too revealing I chose a skirt and a couple of running tops. I clearly also needed a sports bra. The basket was getting quite full by now and I hadn’t even got to make up, however, as I walked in that direction, Amelia started to cry. I didn’t think it could be food as she had only just had a feed, so parking the pushchair outside the baby room, I took her in for a change. What a mess! Still, the space was good and I was able to sort her out in no time.  Leaving the changing room, my eye was caught by a beautiful blue dress that was for sale.

I don’t know why I was so taken with it. Jill had said I could borrow her clothes, but it was lovely. I picked one out in my size and headed to the fitting rooms. I had to leave Amelia with the attendant while I changed. That was weird. Stripping down to my underwear with my barely concealed manhood in that place. Thank the lord no one came in by accident. The dress fitted beautifully, I even asked the attendant what she thought. Adding that to the basket, I really felt it was time to go but then add a worry, what if Amelia needed a feed, it was all very well and good sitting at home topless, but I couldn’t exactly do it in public.

I headed to maternity, bought another nursing bra and the obligatory matching knickers, and a couple of nursing blouses that had discrete flaps in them.  By now I was beginning to think I might be beginning to push my luck both in terms of how much I had spent and Amelia’s patience so I decided to stop there. Paying at the checkout was the most nerve-wracking thing of all so far.

What if the card was refused? Thankfully it wasn’t and the cashier was very helpful and wished me a good day. As I went through toward the shop exit, I noticed someone coming in who I recognized, it was one of Jill’s colleagues. I quickly slipped the sunglasses I had been wearing on my head over my eyes and steered clear of them. Not wishing to push my luck any further, I headed straight home with no diversions. I only relaxed once I had closed the door behind me!  When Jill returned home, I greeted her wearing my new dress. She was pleased, and that in turn made me pleased. She was also pleased with the purchases I had made and was only surprised that I hadn’t made more. I explained why and she understood.

Over the coming months, I continued to grow in confidence with my feminine life, or rather charade. Amelia and I joined a number of mother and toddler groups, one at a local church where we were welcomed and accepted. I took Amelia running in the park to maintain my fitness and swimming at a mother and baby class. I also continued to develop my own small wardrobe of female clothing, often having to make space for it by packing up some of my male clothing, rather than constantly using Jill’s.

I even booked myself in with the local salon for regular hair and nail appointments and the occasional waxing. Jill seemed pleased with how things were going and continued to encourage me. Often times I would prepare romantic meals for two on a Friday night so that when she returned from work she could relax. I looked forward to spending this time with her as she occasionally bought me presents of clothing, perfume, or make-up, and we usually ended up in a passionate embrace in bed.

The only downside of life was that I found it increasingly difficult to maintain an erection during sex and I was convinced that my manhood was shrinking. Ideal for the disguise, but hopefully not a long-term issue!  Month Fifteen  It was a surprise how quickly it took to get to the six months. We started weaning Amelia and were both pleased that we had some degree of freedom back, having more than one glass of wine was a real bonus as we no longer had to worry about the impact on the milk Amelia was taking.

I obviously hadn’t expected the breasts to start shrinking overnight once I had stopped breastfeeding, but the fact that life hadn’t returned to ‘normal’ immediately was a bit of a downer. Jill could clearly tell this and decided on a treat, we would cash in our meal voucher from the Christmas party and celebrate our wedding anniversary.  We booked Amelia into a nursery for the day and both of us went for a spa day together for full pampering. Picking up Amelia from the nursery at the end of the day, we took her home, fed her, and started getting ready in the glamorous outfits we had on the spa day all those months ago.

The babysitter and cab arrived at more or less the same time.  Turning up at the venue we were surprised to see that it was a dinner and dance night. I had never been fond of dancing, although Jill had, so she was really pleased. After a sumptuous dinner, we headed through to the dance hall, bought a couple of drinks, and bagged a table on the edge of the dance floor. There was a wide range of music during the night and Jill encouraged me to dance a lot. After a few dances, she grabbed me and, taking our handbags, led me to the toilet.

I protested that I didn’t need to go, not that I was worried about going to a ladies’ toilet, I had been doing so for months, I just didn’t need to go. Clearly, that wasn’t the point, she wanted to talk.  “Have you seen those two guys watching us?” she asked.  “Which two guys?” she described them and when we returned to the hall later I knew who she was talking about. “What about them?”  “Well, they’ve been watching us for ages.”  “So, I think they are building up the courage to come over and ask us for a dance.”  “Well, perhaps we should leave,” I said, applying a new coat of lipstick.  “That’s not what I’m thinking,” Jill continued, “This is a real test of how well you are passing.

If a man asks you for a dance, you’ve definitely cracked it,” she said smiling.  “But I don’t want to dance with a man,” I said  “I know you don’t really, but how about giving it a go. I will be here. It’s only a dance. What could go wrong?” After much-continued badgering and persuasion, I very reluctantly agreed that, if they came over to us and asked us, we would dance. Well they did, and we did.

Tim and Mark were their names. There were no raunchy dances, it was all country dancing at that point so Tim and Jill, Mark and I, joined with two other couples. After about three dances I made a nod to Jill and suggested I needed a rest. She agreed and we made our apologies to Tim and Mark. However, they also thought a rest would be good and joined us at our table, buying us drinks. Now I was really uncomfortable.

It was one thing dancing, another thing making small talk. Whether or not they could tell we were wearing wedding rings, they were both gentlemen, and after a few minutes, I relaxed a little, so much so that when they asked for another dance I looked at Jill who nodded, and then we all had one last dance, this time a kind of waltz where Mark had to hold my waist. After the dance, Jill made our excuses and we both received kisses on our cheeks. I blushed and exited for the cab quickly.

Jill was all giggly in the cab on the way back, I was perturbed. My wife encouraged me to dance with another man, dressed like I was. Back at the house, Jill was super excited and, once we had paid the babysitter, she pounced on me.  “Wasn’t that fun!” she said, “It was just like going out with a girlfriend.” She could see the shock and hurt on my face and quickly continued with, “But better because it was with my lover,” and she started kissing me deeply.

The trail of clothes and underwear the following morning showed where our passions had taken us, but when I woke up I lay there perturbed, is that was she thinks of me as, her girlfriend?!  My feeling of unease was not helped by an announcement Jill had for me a few days later. Sitting down over dinner one night, she confessed that she had missed her last two periods.  “Isn’t that normal after pregnancy,” I asked.  “No, because I had a couple after Amelia was born. I bought a pregnancy test today. I think we should try it.”  This was like a bolt of lightning.

Potentially our family could expand and there would be a little sister or brother for Amelia. However, that also meant, if the first pregnancy was anything to go by, I would be spending at least another year living as Samantha. Jill went to the bathroom and took the test. Returning after a few minutes I couldn’t read her face, there was no indication of how she was feeling, she just showed me the test, and ‘pregnant’ was the reading. I was stunned.

Epilogue -

As the dedicated husband and father I was, I continued my charade of life as Samantha. I made no effort to maintain the breast growth, and had they started to shrink would have eagerly returned to life as just Sam. However, whatever had triggered the breast growth during Jill’s first pregnancy was still happening during the second.  After the initial shock, life returned to what was, for us at least, normal. Amelia grew wonderfully. I continued to develop my female wardrobe and persona.

In fact, I was so well known in the locale as Samantha that I was introducing Jill as my partner (a bit of a shock in certain circumstances). Jill and I were still quite happy together, although ever since that night at the dance hall, Jill had been increasingly keen for us to go out as ‘girlfriends’ and there were a number of other occasions when we ended up dancing with chaps. Thankfully nothing more than a kiss on the cheek.  When our second child was born the whole breastfeeding routine started again, and we adapted to life with Mary. It was one time while I was feeding her at home and Amelia was sleeping that I noticed something peculiar on her face, her smile.

I also noticed that unlike both her parents and her sister, her ears didn’t have lobes that hung down. I thought it strange but she was young.  At the end of the breastfeeding period, during which both Jill and I continued to take Pregnacare, Mary was six months old and Amelia was eighteen months, and Jill and I decided to revisit the doctor to discuss my future. As I picked out my favorite underwear, dress, and shoes, I realized that all traces of a male wardrobe had gone from our bedroom.

I must have cleared things out bit by bit over the past eighteen months and not really noticed. Clothing wise Sam no longer existed, just Samantha. The doctor checked me over and took some tests but couldn’t really give any prognosis about how long the breast reduction would take naturally. He sent us away to ‘wait and see’.  During this time of waiting I continued to live as Samantha.

This puzzled Jill a little but I explained it was much easier to carry on while I had noticeable breasts than it would be to cover them up. I also pointed out that my wardrobe currently consisted entirely of female clothing! During this time Jill went back to work and I enjoyed spending time with our young daughters, taking them out to mother and baby groups wherever possible, as much to get adult conversation during the day as for their benefit. As Mary grew, I noticed again her quirky smile.

I also noticed that as well as the ear lobes which differed from Jill's and mine, her eyes were developing into a bright green that didn’t come from either of us.  About a month later there had been no significant reduction in my breast growth and it looked as if the only solution to removing them might be radical.

To confirm this, we returned to the doctor. Once again he checked me over, confirming that there had been no significant reduction in the breast growth. He asked if we were planning on having any more children, something we hadn’t actually discussed, and gave us the details for breast reduction surgery which would only work in my case, he thought, if Jill was not planning on having any more children. He suggested we spent some time thinking about it. As he stood up to say goodbye, he gave me a strange smile that I had only seen once before. I then noticed that his ears had no lobes and his eyes were bright green.

The End.