Mom Forced Me Into Pom-Poms - Season One - Final Part

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The next morning Jesse suffered another shock when he saw what he would wear. It was a miniature Cowboys Cheerleaders uniform. He had seen some girls wearing it over the past two days, and he knew they were on sale in the Cowboys store, but he didn't expect to have to wear it. He wanted to protest, but the look on Sarah's face told him it would be another waste of time. 

And so he found himself dressed in white hot pants and a white and blue stars belt and a metallic blue long-sleeve halter top with an attached white and blue stars fringed vest. He froze in horror when Sarah put him standing in front of the mirror. 

With his hair hanging loose about his face, with his tummy and legs exposed, encased in that iconic uniform, he looked like a girl, a little mini version of MacKenzie. He had never worn such super tight shorts before, and he was sure he could see a little bulge in the front, but it was small, and you would have to look really close in order to notice it. 

He found it both a relief and an embarrassment. Dressed the way he was and with that ridiculous hair, he didn't want to be exposed as a boy, but he didn't want his boy bits to be that small either. 

He felt extremely self-conscious that last day of camp. While Susie and all the other girls in his group were also wearing the Cowboys Cheerleaders uniform, he felt as if a line had been crossed, especially when MacKenzie commented approvingly on how he had gone from short-haired tomboy to pretty little girly girl in just three short days. "Now you are ready for your big debut," MacKenzie said as they finished practicing the routine they had been working on all morning. 

"This afternoon you are going to perform this routine in the stadium during a football game. 

We'll have time to do just this one short routine because all the other groups will also be performing today. It means that every one of you will have the opportunity of a lifetime to step onto the field here at the AT&T stadium in your Cowboys uniform and be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. Isn't that just awesome?" 

The girls were all squealing with delight, and now Jesse understood why they were all wearing the cowboy uniform that day.

 And so it was that afternoon that Jesse sat with his companions in the stadium watching mini-football games between the boys who had been in camp while different groups of cheerleaders performed their routines during breaks in play and between games. 

For as long as he could remember, Jesse had dreamed about being in this stadium and running onto this hallowed turf as a Dallas Cowboys footballer. Never in his wildest imagination did he think he would indeed be stepping onto that hallowed ground, but as a squealing Cowboys Cheerleader, he wildly waved poms. 

It was a really weird feeling. 

He was thrilled to be there, to be positioned right where his heroes performed, to see the majesty of the stadium and hear the roar of the crowd, and be able to smell the turf, but every time he turned his head or pushed away some stray hairs that had got into his eyes or mouth or face, and every time he looked down and saw his bare legs and tiny shorts and exposed tummy, he felt almost sick. It was like an out-of-body experience, like that hair and that tummy and those legs didn't belong to him but to somebody else. 

And all the while, Susie kept up a constant monologue beside him about how totally awesome camp was and how this was, like, such a super amazing climax to the three days and how she couldn't wait to tell all her friends about it and how they would be, like, all totally jealous. 

And then it was their turn. MacKenzie got them to stand by the touchline, their poms held waist high, their smiles big and perfect, awaiting her signal. 

And then, signal given, the thirty of them ran onto the turf, jumping about and waving their poms. Jesse's hair flew all over the place as he jumped. Before he knew it, their fifty-second program was over, and they ran back up to their seats again to the cheers of the crowd. 

The girls all felt exhilarated, and Jesse did, too. He may have run onto the turf as Jessica Jeffers, but it was still an awesome feeling to be out there, on that grass, and to feel all those eyes on him. He couldn't imagine what it would have been like if the stadium was actually full. 

He hugged Susie when it was over, and they both screamed. Back in the room at the end of camp later that afternoon, MacKenzie made a presentation to each of them. It was a large rolled-up certificate that declared that the named person had successfully completed the 2014 Cowboys Cheer Camp and was now a fully fledged mini Cowboys cheerleader. 

Each girl went up to collect her scroll as MacKenzie called her name, and then it was Jesse's turn. Even though he still couldn't get his head around being called Jessica Jeffers, and even though it made him blush every time someone said it, he still responded positively when he heard the name called out, and he went up and blushed and smiled as MacKenzie handed him his scroll while the girls all clapped. 

All that evening, as they waited for the bus home, Sarah kept telling him how proud she was of him how he looked, and how to be, brilliantly he had done. 

"Just think, Jessica," she said, "that just a few weeks ago you knew nothing about cheer, and now you're going to be one of the best cheerleaders on your team. Tiffany saw you perform today, and she's super impressed." 

Jesse wondered why she kept calling him Jessica even though the camp was over, but he let it go. He would be home soon enough. 

He was both excited and apprehensive at the prospect of being reunited with his mother, who he knew would be waiting for him early next morning when the bus arrived back at the East High parking lot. 

They had driven through the night, and he and Susie, who sat beside him, had both drifted in and out of sleep as the hours passed. He couldn't wait to meet his mom again and see her smile and hug her and to be back home, but he was embarrassed also that she would see him with all this hair and his double-pierced ears. 

He was hoping she would cut it off as soon as they got back in the house and that she would remove his stupid studs as well. 

His mom's eyes opened wide, and she gasped in delight when she saw him step from the bus, Sarah right behind him. 

"O my God, hunny, you look absolutely gorgeous," she exclaimed, taking him in her arms and running her hands through his hair as he embraced her. Then she held him out away from her, so she could study him more closely. 

"I love your earrings," she proclaimed, examining his ears. "Wait till you start wearing proper earrings!" All the while Sarah stood there smiling, like the proud big sister she now considered herself to be. 

"Thank you, Sarah," his mom said, standing up to embrace her also, "for looking after him for the last three days and for the wonderful job you did. 

I don't know how we can repay you." 

"You're welcome, Mrs. Skelton," Sarah replied, "we had a super fun time together. I really enjoyed it, and I know Jessica did, too. Oh, and don't forget to show your mom your certificate, okay, sweetie?" 

Bloody hell, Jesse thought to himself, She's after calling me Jessica in front of my mom, but his mother didn't seem to notice or bat an eyelid. She just kept gazing at him, stroking his cheek, and feeling his hair. After Sarah gave him a hug and told him to be a good boy for his mommy, his mother loaded him in the back of the car, and they made their way home. 

She peppered him with questions all the way back and during breakfast also. She couldn't get over his hair, she said, and how pretty it made him look, and his pierced ears, and his nails. When he finally found the courage to tell her he hated his new hair and wanted to cut it off, her mood darkened and she got angry. "What are you talking about?" she snapped. 

"Of course, we're not cutting your hair. You're just after getting that hair, and it looks gorgeous on you, and it was very, very expensive. And what would Sarah say if we cut it off after all the trouble she went to? We're not cutting your hair, and that's the last I want to hear about it." 

He started to tear up. 

"But this is like a girl's hair, Mom," he countered, tugging at it. "My friends will all laugh. None of my friends have hair like this. They think I'm a sissy already. Please, Mom, please." 

"Your friends will all love your hair and your ears," his mom replied. 

"All your friends have beautiful long hair and pierced ears, just like you have now." "I mean my friends from school, from football, my real friends," he said, his voice rising, hysteria setting in. "Not the stupid cheerleaders." His mother smacked him on the wrist. "Never refer to your friends as stupid," she shouted.

 "Your cheer friends are your friends now, not those boys who rejected you when you went to the park. Ashley and Megan and the other girls, they're your friends now, and you better remember it... Which reminds me, Ashley and Megan are calling around this afternoon. They are very anxious to find out how you got on at camp." 

"No, I don't want them to see me like this," he said, tearing up, gesturing at his hair. 

"Please, can we cut it off? I'll cut it off myself if you don't let me."

 "If you touch even one rib of your hair," she told him firmly, "we will go right down to the salon and have new, even longer, extensions put in, and you will go to see your old friends in the park tomorrow morning in your cheer uniform and skirt. 

Do I make myself clear, Jessica?" Both the tone of her voice and the words that she uttered, plus the fact that she called him Jessica, made him shudder. He was frightened now. 

He knew she would indeed carry out her threat. He looked up at her and nodded and sobbed as a single tear ran down his cheek. After taking a nap to recover from the all-night journey home, his mom spent what seemed like ages brushing out his hair. 

At least she didn't put a ribbon or scrunchie in it, but she did put his certificate in a frame and fix it on his bedroom wall. Ashley and Megan almost collapsed with excitement when they saw him. They couldn't get over his long tresses and asked him all about his hair and how he acquired it.

They ran their fingers through it to feel how natural it was and tried to find the join where the extensions were glued in. 

They thought it was brilliant that he now had hair long enough that he could wear cheer bows and ribbons and arrange it in different styles. They marveled at his ears, too, and that he was allowed to have two piercings in each ear when they had only one. They insisted that he tell them all about his trip and show them the photos he had taken of it. 

They almost hyperventilated when they saw the photos Sarah took of him in his Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader uniform. He was mortified that they had seen those particular photos above all others and that they thought he looked super cute in them.

 They both took turns trying the uniform on and admired themselves in his mirror, exclaiming how much they'd love to be actual Cowboys cheerleaders. They saw his camp certificate, too, and took it off the wall for closer examination. 

"But it doesn't have your name on it," Megan observed. "Who is Jessica Jeffers?" He blushed deeply and explained that Jeffers was Sarah's name and that she had pretended to be his sister. "But what about Jessica, then?" Ashley inquired. He said that there was a mix-up and people just thought his name was short for Jessica. 

 "Does that mean your name is Jessica now?" Ashley asked, puzzled. "No way," he shot back. "Like I said, they just made a mistake." 

"Well, I think Jessica is a super cool name, even for a boy," Megan said. "It's one of my very favorite names." 

And so it went for what seemed like ages, the girls asking him question after question while continuing to admire his hair and ears and nails and to envy his whole Dallas experience. 

They hoped to go next year, they said, and maybe he could go again, too. "I mean, you have the uniform and all," observed Ashley. He was exhausted by the time they said goodbye later that evening. The combination of the long trip home plus the energy expended on entertaining the girls meant he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

As he lay on his bed the next morning, he thought about the girls' reaction the evening before, how they didn't tease him for having long hair and earrings and polish on his nails, how they didn't laugh when they saw the pics of him in the Cowboys Cheerleader uniform, or even when they discovered he had been given a girl's name by mistake. Maybe his mom was right about his cheerleader friends, he concluded. 

Ashley and Megan were really nice to him; much, much nicer than Brian and his old football friends. 

He grew increasingly agitated as the hours counted down to cheer practice that evening. 

Again, he appealed to his mother to cut his hair or at least hide it in some way. When this was rejected, he asked if he could at least remove his earrings and nail polish. That request was rejected emphatically, too. 

He was going to have to face the girls that evening sporting his new girly look. He knew it would cause him a great deal of suffering and that Cassie especially would be merciless in her assault on his manliness. 

He knew, too, that once they saw him like this, word would spread among their friends, and, before long, everyone in the school would know. His life would be hell. He would never be able to even look at Brian and his friends anymore, let alone hope to hang out with them. 

Once he had put on his blue and white practice clothes, his mom was going to arrange his hair in a high ponytail but then took pity on him and fixed it in a loose low ponytail instead. It brought him just a little relief. 

One of the worst things about wearing a ponytail, he knew, was that it made his ears more visible. 

"Don't worry, hunny," her mom said reassuringly. "Meeting your friends for the first time after camp is the most difficult bit. After tonight, though, they won't even notice your hair anymore." 

He didn't buy that. He knew that after tonight, things would never be the same again. He thought his legs would crumble under him and that he wouldn't be able to physically step inside the school hall, but, luckily, his new besties, Ashley and Megan, were waiting at the door to accompany him. He didn't feel quite so conspicuous with them on either side. It didn't take long, however, before the other girls honed in all around him, astonished at his appearance, asking him questions, examining his hair, admiring his ears, and quizzing him as to the reason for his new look. 

Ashley and Megan took it upon themselves to act as his spokespeople and answered most of their questions. It offered him some respite, though it didn't reduce his acute embarrassment. It didn't help, either, the way Cassie and Tamara looked at him. 

He could see the amusement on their faces but also the contempt. It made him feel like he was six inches tall. 

Crystal had observed the spectacle, but it was clear that she must also have been talking to Tiffany because, once she called the group to attention, she said it would be wonderful if, before practice began, the two cheerleaders who attended the camp in Dallas told the other girls all about their experience of a lifetime. Jesse blushed even more. 

He hated being the focus of attention; he hated people seeing him looking like this; he never liked talking in public; he wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. 

He listened as Tiffany, flush with excitement, described the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders' experience. She had been with the advanced group, but still, she had learned so much and had such a super time. It had reinforced her determination to cheer for an NFL team after college. 

After she sat down, Jesse could feel all eyes turn towards him. As he shakily got to his feet, his throat was so dry he thought no words would come out. His eyes sought a safe spot on the floor, and he stared at that as he tried to summon the courage to speak. 

"Okay, Jess, we haven't all night," he heard Crystal say impatiently. 

In a tone barely above a whisper, he told them how his friend Sarah thought it would be cool for him to go to camp with her, and his mom thought so, too, and that's how he ended up in Dallas. There were lots of people there from all over the country, and he learned some new routines and stuff, and it was fun. 

 He left it at that and sat back down, and then the questions came hard and fast. Why did he have long hair now? 

Why did he pierce his ears? Does he wear girl's clothes all the time? Does he, like, want to be a girl? Crystal saw how deeply distressed the boy had become and called a halt to the inquisition, but not before Elle asked if he had a girl's name now, too. "Of course she has," Cassie answered, "it's Jessica." And most of them laughed. Crystal reprimanded them strongly, reminding them of the rule of cheer that said they always had to be nice to and look out for each other. 

"Now, you be nice to Jess—all of you," she scolded. "I think Jess looks super cute, and if he likes his hair like that, then we should be supporting him. The fact that he went to camp shows just how committed he is to cheer. I hope that the rest of you will show the same sort of commitment." 

 Cheer practice went off as normal, though Jesse's face never stopped burning. 

It was one of the worst nights of his life. Cheer practice intensified during the remainder of the week, as the days drew nearer to back to school. Jesse was growing increasingly accustomed to his hair and resigned to not being allowed to cut it off, at least for the time being. 

He found long hair to be a real pain because it always got in the way and demanded so much care and attention. His mom loved playing with it and brushing it out, and he liked the sensation of having it played with. 

On a Friday morning an envelope,e arrived in the mail, addressed to him. It was in pink and had a flowery scent. Instinctively, he knew that whatever it contained was not going to be good news. His mom watched as he opened it. 

It was a card from Cassie, of all people, an invitation to her twelfth birthday party: 'Cassie wishes to have the pleasure of your company at her twelfth birthday party on Sunday afternoon, Aug 10, at 2 pm.' Underneath in italics it stated, 'Party dresses only.' 

 "Aww, that's so sweet of her," his mom said. "Why don't you call her right away and tell her you'd be delighted to go?" 

 "I'm not going," he declared emphatically. "Cassie doesn't even like me, and I don't want to see Brian. Can't we say, like, we've got other plans or something?" His eyes pleaded with her, but she wasn't budging. 

 "She wants you to be at her party, and you are going to be at her party. I'm sure all your cheer friends will be there." 

"I don't care about them. I'm not going to a girl's birthday party, and that's final." "Don't you take that tone with me," his mom snapped. "If I say you're going to Cassie's party, you're going to Cassie's party. Got it?" He just stared at her, his lip quivering, refusing to answer. "Answer me," she snapped, louder still. He nodded, sobbing now. "Good boy. Now go call Cassie and tell her you'll be delighted to be there." 

 His mom stood and listened as the chastened boy informed his thrilled nemesis that he would be at her party. His mom told him not to worry about the party, that she would take care of everything and would also get him a suitable gift for Cassie. So he tried his best to take his mind off it. 

 On Sunday a Sunday morning as is extra busy and cheerful. She insisted that he shave his legs and underarms, although he had done it only a few days before, and she dressed him in a casual tee and shorts and told him they would do just fine until closer to party time. 

At about noon, Sarah arrived, carrying a large garment bag. She was wearing black leggings and Ugg boots and looked super cute in her red top, he thought. She gave him a big hug and told him how gorgeous he was and that he was going to have a super fun time at the party. She had offered to help his mom get him ready. 

He really didn't think that was necessary. It was just a stupid birthday, after all. The bit on the invitation about the party dress had never registered with him. He began to get worried when Sarah said she would work on his hair.

His eyes bulged when he saw the large curling tongs she produced from her bag. She put him sitting by the kitchen table and began to brush his hair out. He liked how she handled his hair. He always liked being close to her, being able to smell the smell of her. 

He had such a super big crush on her. Then, she sectioned out his hair and began to run each section through the curling tongs. He wanted to protest. He couldn't see properly what she was doing, but he knew it wasn't good. "Sit still, sweetie," she told him, placing her hand on his shoulder to keep him steady. "Let me finish your hair." He kept moving around in his chair, growing increasingly frantic, as he saw the tubular curls begin to fall around his face. "You're making my hair all curly," he whined. 

"I don't want curls. I'll look like a girl." 

"Wait, I'm all finished," she said. "You're going to love your look." Sarah continued for what seemed like ages, sectioning his hair off bit by bit and running it through the tongs. She chattered on about what a cute look it was and how she wore her hair like that sometimes, too, while he grew ever more anxious. 

He recoiled in horror when, after drowning him in hairspray, she pronounced him all done. 

He couldn't believe what he saw in the mirror. His head was a mass of light, tubular curls that fell in gentle waves around his face and tickled his shoulders. They were so wavy and springy to the touch. The only good thing about them, he concluded, was that they made his hair shorter, but that really was no consolation. 

If his hair looked girly before this, it was the essence of femininity now, like hair a little girly girl would love to wear to a wedding or something. His cries of protest were loud, immediate, and strong. "No way; no, I don't want my hair like this. It's a girl's hairdo. Everyone will laugh at me." 

 "No one will laugh at you," Sarah replied. "Everyone at the party is going to have their hair done." "But they're girls—I'm not a girl; I'm a boy. Boys don't have stupid curls. 

Cut them off. I hate them. Please, Sarah, please cut them off." He pulled at his hair frantically, desperately trying to destroy those horrible curls, but Sarah grabbed his wrists firmly and held them tight. "You stop that. Stop this instant," she snapped. 

"Don't dare touch your hair or you'll be sorry." He cried then and whimpered and said he didn't want to go to Cassie's stupid party. "They're all going to laugh at me and tease me," he whined. "Did any of them tease you at practice when they saw your new hair and your earrings?" Sarah asked. He hesitated, sobbing. "See, they loved your hair, and they're going to love it way more today. I promise. Now, let's scoot up to your room and get you all ready. Time is moving on." His mom had been upstairs all along, and when she saw his hair, she was positively ecstatic. "O my god, Sarah," she gushed, "it's gorgeous. Even better than I thought. You've done a super job." "Wait till we're all done," Sarah smiled. "Jess is going to be the belle of the ball." He wasn't quite sure what that meant, but it sure didn't sound good. Sarah put him sitting at the desk before his big new mirror, then reached into her bag to retrieve yet more instruments of torture. 

"I'm just going to touch your face up a little, sweetie. You just sit and relax, okay?" 

He watched, transfixed, frozen in shock, as she applied eyeliner and mascara and put light pink eyeshadow on him. The effect was to make his eyes more prominent.

 They looked bigger, bluer. She then took a brush and rubbed powder on his cheeks, but not very much. Finally, she unscrewed a tube of lip gloss and filled out his lips. Sarah told him it was strawberry flavor and that he would love it—something he knew for a fact would not be the case. It tasted kinda sweet, he thought and made his lips all shiny and moist. 

 "I don't think we need to do your nails," she concluded. "They still look perfect to me." She stood back and looked at him. 

"There now, you look gorgeous," she declared, satisfied with her work. 

His mother concurred, telling him that he would be by far the cutest cheerleader at the party. But when he looked in the mirror, all he saw was a little girl staring back at him, a girl with big, sad eyes and wavy curls and expertly applied makeup. There was no trace of Jesse at all. 

After they got him to stand and strip, he really began to panic. He hadn't thought about what they would make him wear, but after all that had happened already, he knew he wouldn't like it. And he was right. 

First, they made him step into pink cotton panties he had never seen before. The panties felt soft and nice, like the sheer ones he had become accustomed to wearing. Then, they told him to sit, and his mom held out a pair of nude pantyhose. 

"Put your leg in here, hunny. Good boy," she instructed, guiding his right foot into the opening she had created. 

"Now, the same with your left." Then she got him to stand and eased the hose up his legs and fixed it high around his waist. He had never worn pantyhose or tights before, and the sensation was extraordinary. 

It clung to his legs and felt all silky and shiny when he touched it. The feel of it made him shiver. But why were they making him wear pantyhose, he wondered. The answer wasn't long in coming. 

When Sarah held out the dress that had been concealed beneath the garment bag on his bed, he backed towards the door, shocked and horrified. It was a hot pink high-low dress with glittering Swarovski crystals on the bodice and layers of tulle that cascaded in pixie-style ruffles down the bottom.

 The spaghetti straps were in pink satin, and the inner skirt was in a knit fabric. 

"Isn't it just so pretty?" Sarah gushed. 

"This is the dress I wore for my thirteenth birthday, and when your mom told me about the party today, I knew it would be just right for you. The straps are adjustable, so it will fit perfectly." 

 "It's one of the prettiest dresses I have ever seen. It's just so soft," his mom enthused, running her fingers over the layers of tulle. "But it's a freaking dress," Jesse hollered.

 "I'm not wearing a freaking dress! I don't care; I'm not wearing it." His chest was heaving now, and he began to scream hysterically as both women descended on him. His mom grabbed him more roughly than she intended and smacked him on the buttocks. 

"Stop that whining; stop it now. You'll ruin your makeup," she shouted. "You're acting like a big baby." 

"I'm not wearing that dress, Mom. You're making me into a sissy," he shouted. 

"No, don't say that, sweetie. All the girls are going to be wearing party dresses, too." 

"But they're girls," he spluttered, convulsing now. "I'm not a girl." 

"They're cheerleaders, and you're a cheerleader, and the invitation says party dresses only. So you're wearing this dress, and that's the end of it." 

"You're going to be the prettiest cheerleader at the party. 

All the other girls will be jealous of you," Sarah chimed in. He kept trying to pull away from them, so his mom smacked him on the butt again, harder this time. 

"Now, we're going to have to fix your makeup again. Maybe we'll put on extra this time." He cried and pleaded and shook his head as his mom dragged him back towards the bed. 

"Are you going to be a good boy and let us get you ready for the party?" He shook his head defiantly, his curls bouncing. 

"If you don't stop misbehaving and embarrassing me like this in front of Sarah, I'll send you down to the park in your new dress and curls right now. I'm sure all your old friends would love to see you," his mom threatened. 

He looked up at her, his eyes pleading in desperation, the tears streaming down his cheeks, but he saw only steely determination there and a firm resolution. Though he still sniffled and shook, his spirit was broken. Sarah stroked his cheek tenderly. "Just try it on, sweetie. I know you'll love it." 

He stood sullen and defeated as they placed the dress over his head and smoothed it down. Sarah adjusted the straps and zipped it up the back. It fell to a couple of inches above his knees and felt so light and airy it was as if he wasn't wearing it at all. 

The tulle skirting that encased him from the waist looked almost like he was wearing feathers, and they felt feather-like too. The little crystals on the bodice sparkled in the light. 

He had never worn a dress before, and they could not have chosen a more spectacular dress for him. It was like every girl's dream dress, except he was not a girl, and this was no dream. 

After slipping black two-inch pumps on his feet and repairing his damaged makeup, they put him standing before the full-length mirror in his mom's room. 

He was flabbergasted by what he saw. Looking bad at him was a pretty girl with big, sad eyes and big curls wearing a gorgeous, light pink dress. He could not believe he was that girl. 

"Oops, I forgot all about your earrings," Sarah exclaimed as she dashed back into his room. She removed his starter earrings and in one set of holes inserted sterling silver pink cubic heart stud earrings. 

He noted how the pink matched his dress and how they were shaped like hearts. In the two lower holes, she placed the dangly cheerleader earrings she had gifted him some weeks before. They shook wildly and hit his neck he moved his head around. All the time his mom kept fussing with his hair and his dress. 

He had never seen her so happy. It was like she was in ecstasy. Sarah was thrilled, too. "Here, let me show you something," she said, rooting around in her purse. She brought out a little photograph album and flicked through it, then showed him a picture of a girl in a dress exactly the same as his. 

"That's me on my thirteenth birthday in the dress you're wearing now, Jess. Don't we look just like sisters?" 

He looked at the photograph, then at himself in the mirror. How could it be, he wondered, that he looked so like a little girl? 

"One last thing before we go, sweetie," Sarah said. "Your purse." She handed him a little pink clutch purse with a silver handle that matched his dangly earrings. 

"This used to be one of my favorite purses, but it's yours now," she said. "I want you to have it." He took it from her but wondered why he should be grateful to receive a pink purse. 

"All your stuff is in it," she went on, "your cell, and some tissues, and your makeup, in case you need it." 

"And here is the gift I bought you to give to Cassie," his mom said, showing him a small square box in silver wrapping paper and a pink bow. "It's a beautiful, expensive necklace, and I know she'll love it." 

 He took it from her, saying nothing. There were no words he could say anymore. He was beyond speech, reduced to utter silence by everything that had assaulted him that day. 

It was as if he was in some kind of parallel universe and the little girl they were fussing over was not him but somebody else entirely, maybe a twin sister he never knew he had or some girl from school he had never seen before. He found it so hard to adjust to the feel of the pantyhose and dress; how the spaghetti straps tugged gently on his shoulders and how his hands disappeared into the soft folds of tulle whenever he put them by his side. 

He fingered his earrings, too, and noted how heavily they pulled on his earlobes. He thought he would never get used to all these sensations that were overpowering him. The tulle did feel nice and soft and fluffy, he had to concede, but it was girl's stuff, and he was no girl. Without even realizing it, he began to sway a little on his heels, enjoying the feel of the dress and the way it brushed against his pantyhose. He stopped dead in mid-motion, however, when he saw Sarah giggling at him. "I think Jess is enjoying his new dress," she said. And his mom giggled, too. Getting into the car was another new experience. His mom showed him the proper way to sit down while wearing a dress and reminded him to keep his legs tight together while sitting. "You don't want anyone to see your panties, do you?" she asked. Sarah got in the car, too, beside his mom, while he sat behind. She didn't want to miss Jess' coming out party. 

He grew increasingly apprehensive as they made the short journey to Cassie's house. His mind was in turmoil, and it took all the control he could muster not to start to cry. What were the girls going to say when they saw him? Would any boys be there? And what if Brian was at the party? He was her brother, after all. 

He would have to be at the party, surely. 

He would die if Brian saw him like this. He would die if anyone other than the cheerleaders saw him like this, and he didn't want them seeing him in this getup either. 

Hopefully, there won't be many people at the party. 

Hopefully, most people had other things to do. But even as he said it to himself and hoped against all hope, he knew that the other cheerleaders would all be there, and probably some others too, and he knew he would be spending a long and extremely embarrassing afternoon in his tubular curls and dangly earrings and pink princess dress. 

The car pulled up by Cassie's house, which had party balloons and streamers hanging from the trees and fencing outside. Jesse gulped and felt himself tense up again. This was the moment he had been dreading. 

He felt like a prisoner going to the gallows. His mom turned back to him, smiling. "Now, Jess, you have a great time at the party, hear? 

Don't worry about anything. I had a word with Cassie's mom, and she will take special care of you. She'll make sure that everyone is really nice to you." Cassie's mom had only ever seen him in boy mode, during those good old days when he hung around with Brian. 

He didn't want her to see him like this. He was sure she would laugh at him, too. "Remember to give Cassie her gift as soon as you go inside," his mom continued. 

"Just relax, sweetie," Sarah chimed in, offering her big sister a smile. "You look gorgeous, and the other girls will all love you." He knew he did look good, but he doubted the girls would do anything other than laugh at him. Both women stepped out of the car. 

His mom opened his door and signaled for him to get out, too. His breathing shallow, his face red, his heart thumping, he exited as best he could in his unfamiliar heels and stood there while Sarah and his mom fussed over his hair and dress again. 

"Okay, sweetheart, you're all ready now. We will be back for you at six," his mom informed him as she moved to get back into the car. 

"Now, go on. Don't just stand there." 

Jesse stuttered tentatively towards the house. His legs felt wobbly, and he doubted they could carry him the ten steps up the gravel pathway. Glancing down, he realized he couldn't even see them beneath his poofy dress. 

He had knocked on the Harding's door lots of times in the past and spent lots of happy hours with Brian in the back garden and in his room, messing about and playing video games, and tormenting Cassie and her friends. 

Brian's mom had fed him cookies and cake lots of times, too, and even put a sticky plaster on his knee when he fell and cut himself one day. Now here he was about to knock on the Harding door once more, but this time as one of Cassie's friends, all prettied up, coming to hang out with her and her friends. The tables had been turned completely, and it was awful. He could only imagine what Brian would think of the whole thing. 

He didn't even get the chance to put his trembling hand to the door when it opened to greet him. Cassie's mom was standing there, smiling down at him. 

He could see how she assessed him in five seconds flat, how she scanned him up and down like a product at the checkout till, and how she fought to maintain her composure and act as if it was normal to see him dressed like that. "Welcome to Cassie's party, Je...," she began, but was interrupted by Cassie coming up behind her. 

"O my god, Jessica, I love your dress," Cassie squealed, a look of genuine surprise and delight on her face. She wasn't sure that he would come or that he would actually wear a dress. She was astonished and impressed at the effort he had gone to and at just how good he looked. 

 Jesse was completely tongue-tied, not knowing what to do or say, then remembered the little box he was carrying in his hand. "Mmnn, here is your present, Cassie," he whispered, handing it to her, his voice barely audible. 

"Mmm... Happy birthday." Cassie beamed at him again as she took it. "Thank you, Jessica, you shouldn't have. 

Here, come on inside. Most of the other girls are already here." She was wearing a white lace skater dress with white heels that must have been about four inches high. It looked nice on her, he thought. 

As he followed along behind her, scared that Brian would pop out of a room or doorway, he realized that she had referred to him twice as Jessica, and he knew with certainty that this was what he was going to be called for the remainder of the day. 

She led him past the kitchen, where lots of cookies and candy sat on plates ready for consumption, and out to the back garden, which had been decorated in party mode and where ten or twelve girls had gathered in party dresses. 

A quick glance told him there were no boys and that all of the girls, except for three, were fellow cheerleaders. 

To his relief, Ashley and Megan were among them. "Hey, girls, Jessica is here," Cassie announced as they stepped outside. 

All turned to look at him, and he could see the mix of astonishment, incredulity, and delight on the faces of the cheerleaders as it registered with them just who he was. There were giggles, too, and whispers behind hands that covered mouths. 

His face turned a deep, deep shade of red, and he clutched his purse tightly as all eyes honed in on him. Ashley and Megan rushed to greet him. 

Both were gobsmacked at his ensemble and grabbed him by the hand and pulled him to a bench by the wall so they could interrogate him away from the other girls. It was clear right away that they considered him a winner in the fashion stakes. 

Both of them looked very pretty in their outfits, he thought. 

Ashley was wearing a red cap sleeve drop waist velvet dress that fell to just above her knees and that had a large red bow on the side; Megan was wearing a high-low navy dress with a sequined bodice that was shorter at the front than in the back. Both, like him, were wearing pantyhose and light makeup. 

Both tripped over themselves telling him how gorgeous his dress was and that his outfit was the nicest of all the girls' there. They wanted to know where he had bought it what height of it and whether he had done his own makeup. 

Both of them now also kept calling him Jessica, and it was clear to him that as far as they were concerned, he had now fully crossed over into the girl's corner. 

 Others of the cheerleaders approached him, too, telling him how much they loved his dress and how it was so cool that he had dressed just like everyone else at the party. 

Soon, all the others had arrived; there were about twenty girls in total, and Jesse found himself almost as much the center of attention as the birthday girl herself. He also thought ruefully that he was probably the standout dress of all the dresses on display. 

The non-cheerleaders were especially intrigued by him and peppered him with question after question. How did he like wearing dresses? How come his hair had grown out so fast? 

How did he like being a cheerleader? Was he a girl now, or going to become one? And was his name really Jessica? He mumbled through his answers, in a constant state of embarrassment, while Ashley and Megan provided some protection by sticking constantly by his side and answering questions on his behalf. 

He realized that while everybody was curious about him and some were amused, nobody was mean to him. 

In fact, they accepted him surprisingly well. 

Then, to his relief, Cassie's mom called the group to attention and made a short speech, telling them how proud she was of Cassie, what a wonderful girl she was, and how happy it made her that all her friends had made such an effort to look their best and make her birthday such a rousing success. 

She then brought out a large pink and white ice-coated cake with twelve candles on it, and they all stood and sang Happy Birthday while her mom lit the candles and Cassie blew them out. 

Then Cassie made a short speech, the pitch of her voice rising all the time as she grew ever more excited. She thanked them for being such super friends, the best girlfriends anyone could have, and for their super gifts, which she was now going to open. 

They all clapped while Cassie went to the table where the gifts were stacked. She received some CDs and posters and trinkets and clothes and also some cheer merchandise; then she came to Jesse's gift. 

He held his breath while she opened the box. He hadn't had the chance to see what was inside of it himself. Cassie gasped a little and held out a necklace in white gold with a deep blue crystal stone on the pendant. Even Jesse could tell it was beautiful and expensive—undoubtedly the most expensive gift she had received all day. 

"O my god, Jessica, thank you so much," she exclaimed. 

"This is, like, so beautiful. It's gorgeous." She went over to Jesse and gave him a hug. He shyly hugged her back, finding it hard to credit that this was the same girl who had teased him so mercilessly during cheer practice all summer. 

After they had eaten the cake and all the other goodies, a magician performed tricks, using Cassie as his assistant. It was fun, and Jesse enjoyed it. 

This was followed by some party games, and as the girls all participated and moved about, giggling and laughing, with Jesse among them, he found that he almost forgot what he was wearing or the circumstances he was in. 

He even got a little more used to the dress and the shoes and to being called Jessica. 

He didn't realize until it was too late that Brian and Brandon had opened the gate into the back garden. Brandon was one of the friends he used to hang out with in school and the park and was now clearly Brian's new best bud. 

They were scoffing at the last of the food while at the same time smirking at the bunch of girly girls playing their stupid little girly games. Jesse hid behind Megan and Ashley, hoping the boys wouldn't spot him and that they would go away soon. 

As Brian scanned the group, his eyes lingered on Jesse, whose head he could make out behind Ashley's shoulder. Jesse wanted to duck but was afraid that would attract even more attention, so he just stood immobile and prayed, desperately hoping Brian's eyes would stop lingering and move on. 

He could see that Brian was puzzled and unsure, and then he whispered to Brandon, and Brandon's eyes zoned in on him, too. They moved towards him simultaneously, and Jesse didn't have time to react before they were both right up against him. 

His suspicions confirmed  Brian's eyes grew saucer-wide, and he guffawed so loud everyone heard him. 

"Fuck, oh my god, it's the sissy, the super sissy, Jesse." "God, what a fag!" Brandon laughed. 

He reached out to touch Jesse's hair, smirking and laughing, while Brian tried to grab at his dress. 

He knew he shouldn't, but he wasn't able to stop himself, and Jesse started to cry. It was then that Cassie intervened. "Go away, Brian, you bastard," she hollered. "Leave him alone." 

The other girls began to move in on the boys, too, and all the commotion drew Cassie's mom from the kitchen. She saw immediately what the problem was and ordered Brian and Brandon out of there ASAP. Both boys scampered out, but not before Brian offered a parting shot. 

 "I love your dress, Jessica. You make such a pretty little girl." Though the girls offered words of consolation, Jesse continued to sob as the boys' laughter carried from the kitchen. "Don't listen to them," Cassie said. "They're just being stupid." 

"Yeah, way stupid," Megan agreed. 

"We all like you," Ashley smiled, sincerely. "Boys are always stupid like that," Tamara offered. Cassie's mom checked that he was okay, then went into the kitchen to lecture the boys.

 A couple of minutes later, both of them emerged, chastened. "I'm sorry, Jesse, for being mean to you," Brian said, bashfully. 

 "Me too," murmured Brandon. Jesse doubted that they really meant it, but it was nice of Cassie's mom to make them apologize all the same, and he liked that they looked so embarrassed. 

"You okay now, hunny?" Mrs. Harding asked him again after the boys had departed. He sniffled and nodded yes. 

The girls were even nicer to him, it seemed, for the rest of the afternoon. He hated Brian and Brandon now, totally hated them, and never wanted to see them again. 

He knew that they would rush to tell all their friends that they had seen him in a dress, acting like a girl, that they had probably even done so already. He resolved that even when all this was over and he went back to being a boy, he would never have anything to do with either of them again. 

As the clock neared six, and Cassie's mom brought yet more drinks and cookies, the girls began to talk about cheer and the exciting season that was now almost upon them. 

Cassie thought that the cheer team this year was way better than last. She hoped, all going well, that next season she would be made captain. Her friends all said that they hoped so, too, and Jesse found himself nodding in agreement. 

It was extraordinary how her attitude to him had changed in one day. Maybe it was the gift he had given her or the way he was dressed, or maybe it was Cassie's mom who had told her to be nice to him. Whichever it was, he was happy about it. It would make cheer much less traumatic from now on. 

 At just about six pm, moms began to arrive to pick up their daughters, and his mom and Sarah appeared among them in the back garden. Despite the turmoil they had visited on him earlier that day, he was happy to see them, relieved to be finally able to get home and get out of these clothes. 

"How did the day go?" his mom asked Mrs. Harding. 

"Just great. There was a tiny issue with Brian, but nothing we couldn't handle." 

"That's wonderful," his mom replied. "Thanks for taking care of him. I really appreciate it." "My pleasure," she smiled. "I just love his dress. Where did you get it?" Sarah explained how he came to be wearing it. 

"Well, I think it was the nicest dress on show this afternoon, and he looks just gorgeous in it." 

Jesse was tired and confused going to bed that night. He was upset and angry over Brian and Brandon, though a big bit of him understood why they acted like they did. He probably would have done the exact same if he had seen either of them in a dress. On the other hand, Cassie and the girls had been super nice to him and fussed over him so much and included him in everything. He had to admit, too, that the party was fun and he enjoyed it, even if he was the one wearing the girliest dress. 

He was still a little apprehensive heading off to cheer practice the next evening with his hair fixed half up and half down in a big, blue scrunchie. They all kept referring to him as Jessica and even Crystal did a few times too. Cassie came up to him during a break between routines. 

"I just want to say thanks again, Jessica, for the necklace. I love it, and I'll wear it, like, only on really special occasions." She hesitated before continuing: 

"And... um... I just want to say sorry for being, like, so mean to you before. I didn't want any boys on the team, and I didn't want you here, but now it's cool 'cause you're, like, one of us now." 

He knew what she meant and that she was sincere, even if he didn't like the import of what she was saying. He told her it was cool and that he was glad they were friends. 

"You can come over to my house any time, and we can hang out if you want," Cassie continued. He told her that would be cool, but he knew it was very unlikely to happen. He used to go there to hang out with Brian. 

He couldn't imagine going there to hang out with Brian's sister, and anyway, he wanted to keep as far away from Brian as he could. 

 In the final week before back to school, Sarah called the house times brought over more stuff, and took h,im to the movies one afternoon. She was acting more and more like she was his big sister, and, no matter where they were or who they were with, she always now referred to him as Jessica. 

On the Saturday before school started again, Sarah asked his mom if it would be okay to take him back to school shopping. 

He perked his ears up at that and grew anxious. He thought he had more than enough clothes, including plenty he didn't want or would ever wear. 

His mom thought it was a great idea and handed Sarah her card. Before he knew it, Jesse found himself standing beside Sarah, gazing at window displays on the first-floor level of the super big mall that was downtown. 

"Now that you're a cheerleader, your back-to-school style is so important," Sarah told him as she dragged him along. 

"You can be sure all your friends have selected their outfits already. The most important thing," she went on as if she was talking to herself, "is to have a balance of pretty and cool." 

"I don't want pretty," he protested. "I just want normal. Regular." 

"Well, whatever. Let's see what we find." Three hours later, Sarah delivered him and several shopping bags back home. It had been a long and difficult afternoon. 

He might be a cheerleader now and supposedly full of spirit, expected to wear a perfect cheerleader smile, as Sarah had constantly reminded him, but he knew one thing for sure: there was nothing to smile about, and he was not looking forward to the new school year. 

On a Monday morning, his eyes were red and tear-stained as his mom led him to the car for his first day in seventh grade. 

He had fought a mighty battle to be allowed to wear a pair of blue jeans, something that had been forbidden all summer. Or even a pair of his old shorts. Now, here he was dressed in one of the new outfits Sarah had bought him. His hair was hanging over his shoulders, lightly curled. 

He was wearing a red cashmere high round-neck sweater with three-quarter-length sleeves and an ivory allover lace skater skirt that ended about three inches above his knees. On his feet were tiny white ankle socks that barely crept above cute tan lace-up shoes with two-inch heels. His nails and lips were freshly coated to match his sweater. 

"Quit your sobbing, Jess," his mom kept lecturing him. "There's no need to worry. I told you, your friends will all look out for you, and your teachers know about you, too. 

I spoke to the principal, Mrs. Dalton, and she knows that you want to dress and be like all your cheer friends. 

She's okay with it, as long as you are. 

So smile for me. Show me your big cheerleader smile, and make sure you wear it from the second you step outside this car. I want you to be the perfect little cheerleader all this year, and if you don't act the part, you'll be a very, very sorry boy. 

Do I make myself clear?" 

He nodded, unable to speak, his breathing heavy, his heart heavier still. He would just have to survive this year in school, survive all this perfect cheerleader crap, survive until his mother had overcome her crazy obsession, and then he could go back to being a boy again, back to his football and the life he knew before this mad summer began. 

He could do it. He could survive. He was sure of it.