Sometimes I Think About Dying (2023) ✦ Full-Length Watchalong Reaction

I'm so glad you were able to relate to a lot of the characters and/or situations. Fran is someone I completely understand. Not speaking because deep down she thinks she's not interesting so why would anyone want to hear what she had to say, thinking about dying because outside of her job she feels worthless and a waste, and pushing away the one person that actually does want to be around her because it's odd to her that anyone cares enough to want to get close or spend time with her. She's the personification of every social anxiety disorder mixed with depression rolled into one. I'm very much the "don't speak if I have nothing to say" type. A friend once ended our friendship because me being silent spiked their anxiety and they couldn't deal with being around me. So then forcing myself to put on that social mask and just say shit gets me into trouble. As Carol said, "It's hard being a person". This movie had such an impact on me because of how honest it is. Daisy's portrayal of Fran was spot-on to what it's like to feel worthless and so deeply depressed that nothing matters and the idea of death is a sweet dream. There's a line in the musical Next to Normal that goes, "Do you wake up in the morning and need help to lift your head? Do you read obituaries and feel jealous of the dead?" Topics like this movie hit home for me. There's definitely days where I'm just like, "end it, what's the point anymore" and there's days when I really don't have much to contribute but I want to stay and see what happens. And then the next day I'm right back to wanting it all to be over. Fran finally had a taste of that meeting Robert. She had something to look forward to, finally. And she does feel, does care, or else she wouldn't have bothered to apologize. It's just hard navigating feelings sometimes. It's also not always other people that's the problem. Sometimes just living in general, getting up in the morning, even doing basic things can feel so burdensome, especially with someone like Fran who most likely has a functional depression. Which makes me wonder, what was her family life like? Was she a foster kid? I like that we also don't delve into her past because in day to day life we interact with people that we know nothing about and just make assumptions based on their actions. The film being a slower pace makes us live as Fran in a way. I love that choice.

Nathan Jasper, the Artist Formerly Known as Primary