(18+) EDE Vol 1. pt. 1 (VERY ROUGH DRAFT, NOT FINISHED)

((A few things to keep in mind: this is an extremely rough draft, meaning that it is: one, not even done yet, I've still got to type probably another 2k-3k words for it before I think this first chapter can be considered done; and two, everything here is subject to change but unlikely to unless a bunch of people all point out a ton of horribly glaring flaws and absolutely hate it so far.))

#NotAllDungeons

“Come on, Pride darling, don't you think it will be fun?” an androgynous voice asks. “Just think of all the excitement it could bring! We’ll finally have something fun to watch. Aren’t you bored now that your worshippers have already conquered almost half the world? And we’re not able to create a new world yet, so let’s have fun with this one!”

“Leave me be, Lust. I have no intention of playing along with your schemes,” an older, masculine voice – Pride, responds.

“I bet you’re just afraid of,” Lust stands next to him and blows into his ear, "losing, Lust teases in a singsong tone.

“I. Am. Not, afraid of losing. I simply know it would be a waste of time. I have beaten you in all of our other games, and I will not lose to you in this one either.”

“Oh? You make it sound like you’re—”

“Hey! Are we playing a new game? I’m allowed to join, right, right?” a new voice asks, this one sounding like a childish girl.

“Leave us, Envy. This is between myself and Lust,” Pride says.

“Hey! Wrath! They’re trying to leave us out of stuff again!” Envy shouts out, and a moment later, Wrath’s booming voice fills the manor.

“You’re not leaving me out again!” Wrath shouts in his monstrous, borderline-ear-shattering voice.

“What’s, mmm, going on?” a new voice asks, this one sounding as if they are in the middle of eating and speaking with a full mouth.

“Glut Glut! They’re playing games and leaving us out! I bet there’ll be lots of tasty and yummy stuff for whoever wins, too!” Envy explains.

“Did somebody mention rewards? Greed is certain that there are none whom would dare play for rewards without inviting her,” Greed says, the sound of her jingling jewelry almost as demanding as her voice.

“Looks like all we’re missing now is Sloth. Has anybody seen that lazy little boy?” Lust asks.

“He’s up in his room playing some more of those games from Earth. I tried playing with him earlier, but he wouldn’t let me and threw one of his creepy body pillows at me, so I tore off his legs. Can you believe that he still wouldn’t let me play? He didn’t even look at me!” Envy explains with a pout.

“Legs always, mmfnn, taste so delightful…” Gluttony adds on.

“Did somebody say something about games?” a small boy asks as he lies upside down on the grand table with his head hanging off the end of it, a portable video game device in his hands and a lollipop in his mouth.

“You could at least regrow your legs instead of spilling blood everywhere, Sloth. Do you not have any shame? Look at your hair and clothes! You are not worthy of being a member of the Seven—” Pride is interrupted when Sloth raises a middle finger to him.

“Fuck off, you boring fart. I’m only here for the game. Are we going to use the system I already installed on the world? I don’t feel like coming up with another one,” Sloth asks before yawning.

Pride looks ready to shout and lecture Sloth, but instead controls himself. 

“That’s what I was thinking, Sloth,” Lust says. “Here’s what I have in mind, darlings.”

…

“Tentacle rape… meh. Loli impreg guro, no thanks. Ugly old bastard and netorare? That’s new,” I sarcastically say before groaning and boosting myself off the wall beneath my desk to go rolling backward in my chair. There just isn’t any good hentai available. There is tons of netorare and vanilla stuff coming out every single day, but good monster, tentacle, and beast hentai is rare. What’s even more rare is consensual versions of all those. The #NotAllTentacles hashtag was great while it lasted. That brought on the golden age of consentacles, but it’s dead and the legions of tentacle rape have regained their rule over all tentacle hentai.

Tentacles and monsters are just unfairly discriminated against. Everybody writes and draws them as cruel rapists who only care about sex and nothing else. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that, but why not make them care about consensual sex? Why can’t the orc ever fall in love with and marry the elf instead of taking her back to his tribe to turn her into a public hole for gangbanging? Why does every feral beast just want to breed the first girl he sees? Well, that one is a bit more understandable – evolutionary instinct and all.

Regardless, there needs to be more fetish hentai that doesn’t force rape into it. Or netorare. Or ugly old bastards. Seriously, what started the trend of like eighty percent of all hentai having old, obese, nasty guys in them with cheesy cocks that are somehow just as huge as their oversized bellies are fat?

My parents would be so disappointed in me if they knew about how much time I dedicate to hentai. While they’re up in Heaven, or wherever people go – if anywhere, after death, I’m here on Earth with my unfortunately-limp dick out groaning and whining about a lack of good hentai.

Might as well check Chirper.

I roll back to my computer and replace the hentai-filled tab with Chirper.

Great. Dozens of new DMs. As much as getting harassed with DMs is annoying, I just can’t bring myself to disable them. I’d feel horrible since most of them are from fans wanting to rave about the latest blog post or OurTube video.

If only all of these people knew just how far my perversion goes. As a general degenerate who makes a living off of reviewing various mediums of entertainment from Asia, I can get away with making some lewd jokes here and there since everybody does that, but nobody knows just that there is a dark truth behind every joke I make.

Honestly, I doubt most of them would care if I come out and say, “Hey! I am literally so obsessed with consensual monster, tentacle, and beast hentai that I’m bored of real sex and haven’t looked at real porn since I was thirteen!” The issue is the advertisers. With advertisers as gung-ho as they are to remove their ads from anything even slightly controversial, I’d rather let people think I just joke about lewd hentai rather than actually be addicted to it.

I will admit, though, half of the girls in my DMs are pretty alright looking. Though, I do worry that a few of them would get me into legal trouble just thinking about replying to them going by how young they look.

Being attractive, confident in your degeneracy, and successful is a great recipe for being popular with random girls across the world with either daddy issues or unhealthy obsessions with Asian cultures. Then again, I can’t really judge them.

When I look at these girls, while they look nice… I just can’t be interested. It isn’t because of them; it’s entirely on me. I look at these girls and don’t fantasize about fucking them myself. What I imagine are monsters with cocks way too big to possibly ever fit inside any girl’s holes without killing them. That is what I want to have sex with them as. Human on human sex is just so… so… boring.

There is just so much more variety in hentai! Tentacles have: slimes, plants, Lovecraftian monsters, aliens, demons, tentacle pits, and that’s just scratching the surface. Monsters have: orcs, pigmen, dragons, centaurs, minotaurs, goblins, and so on. Beasts have: well, basically just any animal there is.

But no. Instead of things like that being possible, and legal, I am stuck being just a human with a slightly above-average cock. I can’t even use magic, potions, or science to make my dick bigger!

Shit, now I’m horny again. Might as well try to find some good hentai again. Maybe this time I’ll try… what’s this?

An advertisement banner is displayed at the top of Chirper. There are two things that make this somewhat of a big deal: one, there isn’t supposed to be an advertisement here since I have an ad blocker plus there was never a banner ad here even before I installed that; and two, it says, “Do you want to be the monster of your dreams? Do you wish to fuck cute girls as all manners of monsters, beasts, and tentacles? Then come be a part of your perfect fantasy world!”

I’m guessing it’s a new one of those online text games where you create your character and get into a bunch of sexual situations. I’ve personally never been a big fan of those games. Sure, text is fun and all, but isn’t everything better with pictures or videos? Wait… now that I think about it, what if there’s a bunch of online stories out there with consensual-yet-kinky things? I’ve always just stuck to stuff with pictures or video. I’ve… I’ve been so foolish!

I’ll look into that after I click this ad. If it has somehow managed to sneak past my ad block, it must be fate.

Or a virus.

Probably a virus.

Oh well.

My finger presses down on my mouse, and it never gets a chance to lift from it.

The entire world around me changes in an instant. I am no longer sitting in front of my computer in the bedroom of a rented apartment, the light shining in through my windows has been replaced by a massive chandelier hanging in the center of this Victorian hall, and the lonely silence of my room has been replaced with the confused questions of about fifty other people all around me wondering just what the tentacle grape is going on.

“Welcome, darlings!” announces an alluring voice. Grandiose stairs are between us humans and whatever… the curious looking being is at the top of the stairs. She… he… has olive skin with a feminine face and almost comically oversized tits with some of the thickest thighs that I have ever seen, but… I’m pretty sure that’s one helluva bulge that she’s rocking underneath her dress. Speaking of her dress, it’s pure white and reminds me of that one that the one sex idol chick from the 1950s. What was her name again? Faralyn Lonroe? Eh, whatever. Either way, I’m amazed that those things on her chest don’t have a few satellites orbiting them. Wait, is she a her, or a he? An it? No, that would be offense going by the internet’s standards.

Where even am I? Is there internet here?

“Haiiii haiiii!” a different voice shouts, this one sounding much younger and girlier. Tearing my eyes out of the first person’s tits’ gravity well, I look next to them and see a small, pale girl nearly half as tall as the person she’s standing next to. She might be flat, but damn if she doesn’t have some thighs on her.

Were those police sirens I just heard?

I look around. No flashing lights nor sirens. Good. Back to lewding the loli.

Though, I’m not sure if she could be classified as a loli. While she is short, she still has a womanly body aside from her flat chest, and her face alone looks questionably legal.

“My name is Envy! I’m here to—” the girl, Envy, gets lifted up by one of the cat ears atop her blonde head of hair. “Ow ow ow! Let me go! Let! Me! Go!” she screams and whines while flailing around, her feet kicking the other person’s oversized bust and causing every man in this hall to watch with great interest as a hint of pink starts to slip out from their dress. “Let go of me, you stupid titty monster!”

As much as everybody wants to see that hidden nub of the “titty monster,” our attention is stolen by the… thing that appears next to those two fighting. It has the body of a human – well, maybe of a human from one of those television shows featuring people who weigh over six hundred pounds. More importantly, it has green skin, vines for fingers, and its head looks like that of a Venus fly trap but with five uneven eyes and… I didn’t know it was possible for Venus fly traps to have double – no, quadruple chins. Sticking out from those chins are scattered patches of vines that look like a failed attempt at growing a beard.

In its mouth is what appears to be a raw leg of lamb and resting on top of its bulbous stomach is a small boy sitting cross legged—using what stumps he has left—with a game device held in his hands. What really catches my attention is his shirt. It has a few catgirls on it from an anime I recognize about magical school catgirls, and the text above them reads, “Cat Ears Best Ears.” Other than that, his eyes are differently colored from one another. While his right eye is red, his left eye is blue – both bright enough to contrast against his light skin.

“Lust, Envy, Gluttony, and Sloth,” one of the men next to me says.

“What?” I ask.

“Do you have a better theory about who they are?” he asks me back.

Looking at the four atop the stairs, I can instantly place those names to each of them.

If we’re to keep using the names of the seven deadly sins, the next three arrivals are all easy to place as well.

First is Pride. He is a tall, muscular looking man with a short and groomed beard, wrinkles that make him look masculine and wise rather than just old and tired, and pure white hair that frames his rich bronze skin. The short hair atop his head, his eyebrows, the hair on the visible backs of his hands, and his beard are all pure white. Furthermore, he has a mane around his neck that is equally white. If the mane isn’t enough of a clue, the stern and proud expression he wears is enough to make me think of a lion, and a lion makes me think of pride. The professional looking business suit and tie helps, too.

Standing opposite of him is the largest man I have ever seen. Well, calling him a monster might be more appropriate. He has the legs and tail of a bull, the torso and arms of a world champion weightlifter, and a head that looks like some amalgamation of a wolf’s, human’s, and bull’s. It has the general shape of a human head, but with the maw of a wolf and the horns of a bull. Oh, and he isn’t wearing any clothes, so I can also see that he apparently has a giant horse cock that is almost indistinguishable from his normal legs in size. And his entire body is covered in scars. Definitely Wrath. And most people are definitely not looking in his direction. I am, but only out of admiration. I want to be a giant monster with an equally giant horse dong.

I look between Wrath and Envy whom is still being hung in the air. She stops flailing and screaming when I look at her, instead grabbing her arms and shivering. “I – I have a feeling somebody is thinking something messed up about me,” she tells Lust. Envy looks like she is conflicted as to whether feel disgusted by the thoughts directed at her or elated that she’s getting attention.

The final arrival must be Greed. She is a tall woman wearing a beautiful, violet dress that only teases a flash of her right leg, pushes up her breasts and tightly hugs them without actually showing any of them, and she is covered from her ears to her ankles in jewelry. The bright gold and diamonds contrast against the rich brown color of her skin, and what’s even more striking is the color of her hair. I wouldn’t say that her hair is like a rainbow, but rather like hundreds of colorful gemstones. 

“Think that’s all of them?” I ask the man from before.

“I hope so. I want to know what the hell is going on,” he answers before turning his head to look at me. He’s about the same height as me and even has the same black hair style as me, but he looks a good few years older. “I’m Jonathon. You?” he asks, holding out a hand.

I guess we’re making friends now in this random place where a busty futa, loud loli, minotaur with a horse dong, and overweight Venus fly trap exist. “I’m Alex,” I answer him, shaking his hand.

“I counted everybody here. There’re forty-nine of us, and seven of them. Also, look,” Jonathon says, grabbing my shoulder to hold me close to his sound while pointing around with his other hand. “See them over there?” he asks while pointing to a group of people whom all look rather professional. Some of them are wearing business suits, two of them are wearing decorated military uniforms from foreign countries, and one—

“Hey, isn’t he that uhhh, famous movie director?” I ask Jonathon while pointing at one of the older men in the professional group.

“Yeah, Mikael Bey. Obsessed with explosions.”

“He ain’t no explosion loli.”

Jonathon looks at me with a confused expression.

“Never mind, just a stupid reference.”

“Right,” Jonathon changes the subject, “anyways, now look at the guys and girl near you.”

Paying specific attention to the people around me for the first time, I see… oh no. These are… these are my people, aren’t they? These are what most people would assume I am like if they knew about my fetishes, aren’t they?

There is one man covered in tattoos and piercings with a giant cumming dick on his forehead, a slightly plump girl that has a shirt covered in the faces of anime men kissing, somebody who looks like they’d normally be wearing a diaper in their mother’s basement while hoarding lolicon hentai and calling everybody else’s waifus trash, an old man who keeps giggling to himself while staring at Sloth and Envy, a goth, and a guy who looks like a professional SpaceCraft 2 player and is wearing a headband which says “TENTACLE RAPE” on it.

“Seeing as how you were standing next to them when we all arrived… I’m guessing that you seven are something aligned with Lust up there, and those professional looking ones are with Pride.

“What about you? Your group looks pretty normal,” I say, looking them over.

“Envy,” Jonathon answers without any hesitation.

“How do you know?”

“Because I’m the most easily jealous bastard that I know.”

“Fair enough.”

I look over the other groups to try and line them up with their respective sins, but those at the top of the stairs finally speak up again.

“Welcome!” Pride announces and then claps his hands to make sure that he has everybody’s attention. “You forty-nine have been carefully chosen to participate in a grand game! Each of us Seven Sins have spent the past week monitoring and analyzing Earth to determine the best candidates to become our champions. To briefly explain our selection process, we: one, chose people whom would not regret leaving Earth; two, you are the most corrupted sinners of your respective Sin; and three, we believe that you are interesting. However, while seven of you have been chosen for each one of us, only one may become a champion of your Sin. From there, only one of you will win this game.”

“What happens to the losers?” Jonathon shouts causing everybody to turn their heads to face him. Even I’m not sure how he can muster the courage to speak up to, what I am assuming, are basically demons.

“They die, and their Divine Gift will be given to their conqueror,” Pride answers, looking Jonathon directly in the eyes.

I look at Jonathon and see him shivering. He didn’t look scared before, but he does now.

“What happens if a contestant dies by a non-contestant?” one of those military uniform guys asks with a thick European accent that I can’t identify.

Pride smiles and looks at the questioner. “Then their Divine Gift is returned to us,” he answers.

“What if we don’t care about fighting?” a girl asks from the opposite end of the room, her hair messy and clothes baggy.

Sloth opens his mouth as if to answer but changes his mind. Pride sighs. “You do not have to fight to win. How you win is entirely up to you,” he explains.

“Are there laws or rules?” a nearby voice asks. Of course it’s from the creepy old dude who’s been eyeballing the loli and shota the whole time.

“None, darling,” Lust lustfully says, her tone as sweet as honey.

Pride claps his hands again.

The room expands to several times its current size. I almost fall over when the flooring beneath us gets cut off from the rest of the room. Each group of humans is separated this way, so now I’m alone with the other deviants of my kind.

You know, I have no shame in my fetishes and I don’t kink shame, but I do not want to be associated with people as morally corrupt and unhygienic as they are.

Each Sin appears in front of their respective groups, meaning that Lust now stands before me and the others.

“Hello, my darlings. I do hope that you are having a pleasant experience so far. Is there anything that I could do to make this more… enjoyable for you?” Lust asks us.

“Ya can suck muh cock, ya dick titty skank,” the man covered in tattoos and piercings says while making vulgar gestures toward his cock.

If I have to eliminate the competition, he’s first. No, wait, I can’t just go and kill somebody. Wait, why am I here when Lust probably knows I could never kill somebody? I would think that being so anti-rape and anti-guro and all of that would disqualify me, yet here I am.

Lust winks my way before replying to the vulgar contestant. “Maybe another time, my darling, but not now. Instead, I have Divine Gifts for you all to choose from,” Lust says, stepping back and blowing a kiss.

Seven more humans appear in front of us.

Five girls, two boys, all with varied body types.

“Each one of these lovelies has a spell enchanted on them. They will be forced to do anything you order them to do, may only have sex with you and none others, and will assist you in managing your dungeons. I should also mention that they were the next seven in line to be competitors if none of you worked out, so they meet the same criteria for being chosen as you all do.”

That last part makes me feel better. I would feel horrible if they were just normal humans forced into this without having any idea what’s going on. Going by the fact that none of them seem worried about what is being said, they must have already had the situation explained as well even if they weren’t present for when it was explained to the rest of us.

“Pick whoever you like the most,” Lust says.

I look over my choices. There are two boys, one looking to be a fit, young adult and the other a total shota. The shota is almost immediately grabbed onto by the creepy old guy, and the yaoi fangirl grabs the other one. I guess I know who they were meant for.

The next person to catch my interest is a loli. Not because I’m a lolicon or anything like that – I swear, I’m not! But she’s caught my attention because she seems like a mischievous little brat. She’s wearing a pink and black plaid mini skirt over some black thigh highs, a punk shirt, and has piercings all over her ears… aaaaanndddd the tattoo and piercings guy with no manners grabs her. I should’ve seen that one coming.

“Is everybody in this competition over eighteen?” I ask Lust.

She just winks.

Okay then.

I look over the remaining four choices. One is a dominatrix looking lady wearing a leather getup and is chosen by the SpaceCraft 2 player, and – I wonder what sort of gifts the others are getting? I look to the groups in the distance.

Pride’s group has unique, awesome looking weapons to choose from! I’m not a fighter at all, but I can still respect a badass looking weapon when I see one. All of the weapons over there look badass! The lance looks—

“And the last Divine Gift will go to the only darling yet to choose one himself,” Lust says.

Shit. I got distracted, and I should’ve known better than to get distracted with a group of horny deviants competing against me.

I feel like a failure of a pervert for getting distracted by weapons, but what can I say? The whole “forced to obey” thing has never really appealed to me.

The only girl yet to be chosen is… honestly, pretty boring looking. She just looks completely average in every way. She has medium length chestnut colored hair that is messy and everywhere. I can’t even see her faces since she’s looking downward and her bangs are obstructing it, but I think I can make out the outline of some thick glasses. Her hair is just sort of going… everywhere, and a single hair sticks up from the top of her head and curves forward. She looks to be of average height, maybe a bit on the short end, and is wearing a hoodie over a loose t-shirt with sweatpants and some normal tennis shoes.

She looks average in every single way possible. Probably the shy and reserved type going by her posture.

Girls like her usually end up being some of the hugest closet perverts.

I stick my hand out. “Nice to meet you. I’m Alex,” I say.

She looks up just enough for me to see the amber eyes behind her glasses. Well, and some blushing cheeks. Unfortunately, she looks back down the moment that our eyes make contact. “N-nice to… meet you…” she practically whispers. While I can’t see her face anymore, the tips of her ears are sticking out through her bushy hair. They’re bright red. Fortunately, I learned how to deal with shy girls a while ago. I had plenty of girls like this who came into the old BDSM place I worked at that basically needed to have their hands held through everything for their first times.

Speaking of handholding, she finally realizes that she has yet to shake my offered hand. “A-ah! Sorry! Sorry, sorry…” she frantically apologizes, each apology quieter than the last as she tentatively grabs a couple of my fingers to shake.

Alright. Okay. Yes. While this girl may have originally looked boring and plain in comparison to the sort of unrealistic 2D girls that I am used to, she is my exact type as far as personality goes. Shy, inexperienced, probably submissive, awkward, and a closet pervert.

My competitors are missing out. While some of the other “Divine Gifts” may fall under specific fetishes and be certain types, what I’ve got is the sort of loyal, trainable girl who can become anything. She’s probably every bit of a pervert as I am, too. When I look at her up close, I sense a kindred spirit. There’s only one way to find out. If she’s the type of girl who I think she is, then while what I am about to say is extremely cringy as these sorts of things usually are, she will find it amusing and reply appropriately. “Consentacles are the,” I pause.

She looks up at me with her wide eyes showing past her bangs, “Bestacles!” she excitedly answers, raising her hands to cover her mouth afterward.

“Consentacles are the bestacles” was the motto of #NotAllTentacles. For her to know the end of it, I have safely confirmed that we are of the same mind.

I place a hand on her shoulder and pull her close so that we can rejoin the rest of the group whom has lined up with their Divine Gifts. While I can’t see her face still, especially now that she is facing away from me since I have her side to side and have to look down at her, I can see the tips of her burning-red ears.

My hand gently, yet firmly, stays holding onto her shoulder.

When I look to my left, I see the rest of my competitors glaring something fierce at me. The gross guy who probably wears diapers in his mom’s basement looks the angriest out of them. As for why, I can only assume it is because their partners all look jealous except for the dominatrix girl. I have a feeling that me and her wouldn’t get along. A dominant with a dominant would never work.

((Girl reference: https://imgur.com/a/c8Ew1r9 ))