Help Me Improve Awakening!!!

Awakening means a great deal to me. I hope to get this story published one day. But first, I need to finish the first draft. And I need to find eager and interested individuals willing to read and provide feedback. So let's try this....

Below are short little blurbs from the first 9 chapters. 8 chapters are more revised and published at https://www.wattpad.com/story/248653866-awakening. 2 chapters are currently in editing. And 1 chapter has yet to be typed (since I handwrite my stories first).

The excerpts below are either characterizations, plot-builders, or even clues. Even if you're not interested in it, perhaps you know someone else you might enjoy reading this. Yes, it is supernatural / fantasy. No, it is not cringe, I promise. I put a lot of thought and care into the story as well as the characters, descriptions, and relationships.

Chapter 1: Chill

"I know you're there," he called out. "You can stop hiding."

But no one appeared. No one peeked out from any corners, nor did they slink out of any shadows or hiding places. Blake once again felt that unusual warm chill from earlier, much more noticeable than before. He knew he'd been right, and so his voice grew quieter.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

They must have understood his words, because Blake suddenly looked just left, near the side of the school wall. No one stood there.

No one tangible, anyway.

Chapter 2: Burn

The spectre emanated a new emotion, one he did not expect: fear. But this was not fear associated with death. This woman feared something in their current state. They feared......another presence? He looked around, and let his perception reach out further. He waited for the familiar sensation of a warm chill down his back.

But what struck him was something else entirely. He held his breath as a burn pulsated throughout his body. It radiated primarily in his arms and legs, and while the feeling seemed accompanied by a slight stinging sensation, something else alarmed him more. His chest was reacting to it. Why did his heart race in such a rapid and unpleasant manner?

Suddenly his gaze froze, fixated. Movement, near the corner of the fence. A shadowy figure. Even with a step forward and squinted eyes, he could not completely make it out. The wispy shadow twitched, then disappeared.

Chapter 3: Blaze

"Blake, you're up on the rope."

He inhaled and stepped up onto the mat beneath the rope. He reached out a little for the rope but did not grab it just yet. He waited.

"Go!"

He grabbed the rope with one hand, and began to climb, not using his legs at all. He only needed the sheer strength in his arms to pull himself, with ease, right to the top of the rafters. He smacked the bell once he reached the top.

"11.97 seconds!"

The teacher sounded mildly impressed, but Blake knew he hadn't beaten his record. He barely loosened his grip on the rope, and grabbed it again quickly to prevent an accelerated descent. He repeated the process a few more times; at about a third of the distance to go, Blake released the cord entirely and dropped. He landed on the mat with a loud thud, his knees having braced the impact. But then he brushed off his pants with a short swipe.

Nearby, Cameron snorted. "Showoff."

Chapter 4: Box

It was a long box, a simple one with three metal clips. Blake set it down, not having a clue as to why he was so drawn to this.

THUD.

Was the creature trying to break in? Blake set the box down and undid one clip, and then the second. The third, slightly rusted over, took a bit more effort. He heard another thud on the door as he unlocked the final clasp. There was another thud, and he finally opened the lid of the long case. And he couldn't believe his eyes.

It was a staff.

Chapter 5: Faint

Blake watched with confusion as a woman helped Alisha out of the passenger seat of her own car, and half-carry her up to the house. Blake hurried forward and met them about halfway down the sidewalk. His mother looked terrible, her face pale and a hand clutching her head fiercely.

"Mom." Blake did not raise his voice, but he did not mean to sharpen his tone. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Sorry about this, Blake," said the woman helping Alisha. She sounded genuinely concerned with her deep but calm voice. "We would have tried calling you, but your mother's got the only phone in the house. She fainted."

Chapter 6: Shadow

A cat-like shadow near him lunged with a screech, its clawed appendages extended. Without the slightest hesitation, Blake ran forward with all the swiftness he could muster and swung the weapon forward. But the blade almost pulled him towards the side, missing the creature entirely and nearly thwarting his balance. Blake caught himself and regripped the weapon, dumbfounded by what just happened.

What am I doing, I have no idea how to use this!

He could not get another thought in as two more creatures leapt at him from different directions.

Chapter 7: Sermon

A slight burning ran right up his spine. He dare not look around, but could feel the frustration build up inside him. Why here? And why now? He clenched a fist but released his grip.

"The fourth, a pale horse, it's rider's name Death with Hades following behind him. The fifth, an altar of souls....."

Something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. Alisha had raised her arm and touched something on her neck. It was the piece of jewelry that he helped her with earlier. It was silver, and strung around her neck in tiny chains. And above her chest attached to the chains sat a small pendant of St. Joseph, which she gently clutched with two of her fingers. However, soon after he'd turned to look at her, she released her tight grip on the pendant and set her hand back on her lap. Her eyelids drooped a little while she stared forward, and her eyes appeared a little glossed over.

Chapter 8: Animosity

"Cold! Cold."

"They're called ice cream bars for a reason," said Blake.

"Shut it!"

Nearby Cameron struggled to properly position his own bar and messy soda. Meanwhile, Amelia immediately created conversation.

"Saw you talking to Joshie again," she said. "Any interesting gossip to report?"

"Not a lot." June shook her head also. "Just mentioning being excited for the summer and get good business again with the truck. He did say his neighbors got sick too, apparently."

"Oh? That's not good."

Blake lifted his chin. "Got sick....too?"

Chapter 9: Notes

"Is something wrong?"

"I don't know." She then lifted her chin. And faced him. "Is something wrong?"

Her eyes seemed so soft, and gentle. Yet there was this troubled nature behind her expression, as if she stared right into his own soul with a searching intent. Normally it did not send any unease up his spine. But this time was different.

He set an arm on the back of his neck, unsure how to respond. "What do you, what do you mean by that?"

"Well, I guess I can never find the right time, huh?" Strangely enough, a weak smile crept over her face. "The church sermon will start. Maybe our friends will intercept. Seems the moment is always interrupted."