Potion Blunders

Potion Blunders.

Beth tapped her fingers on the wooden counter. “Well, this is better than working in that damn forum room.” She looked down at the crazy costume she was dressed in. “But ugh, I can’t believe I have to wear this.”

Mr. Gongsel walked up to her. “You should be happy, my dear. You are one step closer to taking the reins of the store.” He laughed. “Soon, you will learn the secrets and run this branch of Potion’s R Us for yourself. It will be an honor, my dear.”

“Wearing an outfit that looks like it was stolen from a children’s book?” She looked at the multi-colored outfit. “Seriously. My shoulders are green, my chest is blue and red, and my legs are purple with black, white, and orange stripes. What is this jumpsuit?”

Mr. Gongsel laughed. “Everyone who works for Potion’s R Us has an eye-catching outfit. You learn to love it.”

Beth laughed. “Then why have I never seen you in such a get-up?”

“Because I am training the new generation. That is why.”

She rubbed her forehead. “Right. When I took this job, I never expected that I would have to put on such a ridiculous costume.” She sighed. “I just hope no one I know comes in here and sees me. I would die of embarrassment.”

Mr. Gongsel ran his hand across the counter. “Now then, shall we get down to what you shall be doing today?”

“I hope it won’t involve me changing in size again.” She shivered as she thought back to working on the forums. “Ughh, you should have warned me that would have happened.”

“You had that punishment coming.” He shook his head. “No, you have nothing to fear today. Just an easy day of selling potions to customers. And you get to learn a vital skill here at Potion’s R Us.”

“What skill?”

He picked up a vial filled with some kind of substance that looked like it came from a grease trap. “Learning how to judge what our customers need.”

“Huh?”

“Here at Potion’s R Us, we develop an ability to know just what our patrons need.” He set the vial down. “If their day requires it, they shall have a potion that shall make them grow. But if fate determines it, give them a vial that shall turn them into a tree instead.”

Beth laughed. “How in the world can you do that? That sounds. . .” She looked at her hands. “That doesn’t sound like anything that should be asked of a salesperson. Reading the mind of the customer? It is outlandish.” She slammed her hands on the table. “Outlandish, I say!”

Mr. Gongsel sighed. “Well, it is a skill you need to learn and fast.” He narrowed his eyes. “It isn’t like you are going to find another job anyways. You are too deep into this journey to back out now.”

“What are you. . .”

He laughed. “Oh, nothing. Forget I said anything. Look, focus on your job and getting paid.” He turned around. “I am sure you will do great.” He waved as he walked away. “Have fun.”

Beth shivered. “What in the world did he mean by that?” She sighed. “Well, the sooner I get this day over with, the sooner I can get out of this suit. I guess it’s a good thing hardly anyone comes into this store. I don’t think I have ever seen anyone come into Potion’s R Us since I started working here two weeks ago.” She laughed. “How is this place still open?”

Suddenly a strange melody of off-tune bells started to play. “What in the world is that.” She covered her ears as each bell was somehow out of sync with the one that preceded it.

“Ughh. Make it stop.” As soon as the ear-piercing music stopped, Beth noticed a woman in a sleek business suit standing before her.

“Hello. I couldn’t help but notice your exotic sign.” She smirked. “And that strange welcoming music. Such an exotic store. I have to say I love it.” The woman tapped her light dark fingers against her suit. “Almost makes me want to buy this place for my company.”

“Well, I’m sorry, miss—”

“Fran.” The woman handed Beth a business card. “I represent Goodman’s, Friendly Market.”

“Never heard of them.”

“We are a small store but very, very successful. And we are looking to expand.”

She looked around. “And this store. . .” She tapped her finger on her chin. “Hmm, maybe it has some over-the-top exoticness for my tastes. The colors are just a tad too much.”

Beth crossed her arms. “Potion’s R Us is not for sale.”

Fran turned around. “Well, that is your loss.” She sighed. “Well, I guess while I am here, I might as well have a look around.”

“Umm, sure.” Beth walked out from behind the counter. “Let me show you around.”

Fran held up her hand. “I am perfectly capable of showing myself around, thank you very much.” She snorted. “I have many things to do, so I don’t need the whirlwind tour.”

Beth narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice. “Wow, what a prick.” She watched as Fran walked off. “How am I supposed to do what my boss said when they are so uptight and want nothing to do with me? Hugh. This job sure isn’t what I thought it would be when I signed on.” She rubbed her forehead. “Well, I can’t very well let that woman roam around the shop unattended. Who knows what weird crap could happen.” Beth gulped as she ran after Fran.

“Last thing I need is today to be a crazy day.”

Beth turned a corner to find Fran examining a shelve with multiple potions with glowing blue liquid. “Fascinating. I wonder why kind of dye makes them glow like that.”

“Well. . .” Beth walked up to her. “It is a trade secret.” She laughed.  Even from me.

Fran took a bottle off the wall. “So, you just sell potions?”

“Yup. It’s why we are called Potion’s R Us.”

Fran arched an eyebrow and narrowed her hazel eyes. “But what are these things supposed to do?”

“Umm. . .” Beth tapped at her chin. “Anything you can think of, really. Like, increase your performance at work. Or help you have a wonderful day. Make it rain even. These potions work magic.” She laughed as she slowly looked at the floor, scared to say anything about the truly crazy things that the potions could do, like inflate people like balloons, cause crazy transformations, or other odd things. “It is truly a magical place.”

“So, this could help out my store?” Fran tapped on the side of the glass vial. “I am looking for ways to “improve” security at Goodman’s Friendly Market.” She smiled.

“And if this potion could really do that.”

Beth smiled. “It can and more. Why don’t you sample it to find out.” Beth’s eyes widened as she realized what a horrendous mistake she had just made.

Fran smiled. “Really.” She took the cork off the bottle. “Well, if you insist.” She raised the bottle to her lips. “But what better way to find out what I am buying it by testing it, right.” She took a couple gulps of the glowing blue liquid. “Ahh, tastes kind of metallic. Ahh, well.” She slipped the bottle into her purse. “But with the store I run, I want to product test things myself, even if things get a bit crazy.” She laughed.

Beth giggled. “Right.” She ran her hands through her hair.  What did I just do? Mr. Gongsel is going to kill me if this woman changes in size or transforms in the store.

I was supposed to sell that potion, not let her test it for free. Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Fran arched an eyebrow. “Are you alright? You seem a little pale.”

“Oh, I am fine. Do you want to buy that potion?” Beth walked behind Fran. “No time like the present to take your product out on the road, right?”

“I want to wait and see what this thing does first. You said I get to sample it.”

Beth gulped as Fran took out her phone. “Now, if you don’t mind me, I have a business call to make. I didn’t expect this little excursion to take this long.” Fran suddenly shivered. “Ugh, is it getting hot in here?”

Beth gulped. “Oh no.”

Fran wiped the sweat from her forehead. “This doesn’t feel at all how I expected. Are you sure you gave me the potion that I wanted?” She held her hand over her chest. “My heart is racing. Ughh.” Beth covered her ears as Fran let out a sound like a revving car engine. “What kind of potion did you give me?” She slammed her hand against the wall. “I wanted a blueberry potion for my business. Not this!”

Beth shook her head. “What in the world. . .”

“What, you have never heard of people wanting to inflate others into blueberries before? It is our way of teaching people not to steal from our store. I had hoped this place would help with our little formal as it is so hard to make the enticing blueberry for people to steal. . .” Fran took a deep breath. “My entire body is becoming so hard and sensitive.” She revved her body again. “What potion did you give me?”

“I don’t know. And I didn’t give it to you.” Beth’s eyes widened as Fran’s breasts began to grow, causing her suit to push outward. “Umm. . .”

Fran shook her head. “I. . .” The buttons on her suit burst apart, revealing her enlarged breasts. “I can’t believe you don’t know what potion I drank. How can you not know?” She looked down at her chest. “Shesh, they look like watermelons.”

“Ya.” Beth scratched at her head.

Fran narrowed her eyes. “Look, don’t just stand there. Get to figuring out what to do about this.” She took a step forward, only to fall onto her chest. “Ohhhhh god!” She moaned as she pushed herself off of her breasts. “That was unexpected.”

“Fran, your feet!”

Fran looked down to see her feet ripping through her shoes. “Great.

Those Kamerns cost me a fortune.” She sneered at Beth. “You are paying for my outfit, you hear.”

Beth pointed at her feet. “Umm, you may want to keep looking.”

Fran turned her head to see her feet had turned black, rubbery, and round. “What in the world?” She suddenly spun her feet as a metallic rim grew out of the center of her feet.

“What am I turning into? A car?” She turned to look at Beth. “You let me drink a potion that is going to turn me into a car?”

“Hey, umm. . .”

She slammed her back right tire on the ground. “How dare you. How is this going to help my business?” She pointed her right hand as rubber started to cover it. “I ought to sue you.” Fran shook her hand. “Ugh, great. More tires for my body.”

“Look, being a car can’t be all bad.” She watched as Fran fell onto her wheels and moaned as her giant breasts slid across the floor. “I mean, hey. You will be able to drive around, right? And think of the people you will be able to pick up. Literally.”

Fran narrowed her eyes as they started to turn blue. “I can think of one thing I want to do when this transformation is complete.” Blue light beamed out of her eyes. “Take you for a ride that you are never going to forget.” She revved her body. “One that you deserve for this mess.”

Beth took a few steps back. “Hey, I. . .”

Fran’s body began to stretch, causing her suit’s fabric to fall apart at the seams. “What? You don’t want to go for a joy ride? I promise it will be fun.” She smiled as her ass ripped through her slacks. “Ohh fuck. This is starting to feel good.” She shook her booty and rubbed her breasts across the ground. “Maybe there is some benefit to this after all.”

Beth turned around. “Ok. Enjoy yourself. I am going to keep an eye on the rest of the store.” She sighed. “Have a nice day being a car.” She screamed as she was suddenly flatted against the ground.

Fran laughed; her hardening breasts pressed against Beth. “I can’t have you running off.” Her arms started to stretch outward. “I am taking you for the ride of your life for what you did to me so I can have you getting away.” She held up her right arm as it started to turn metallic. “Shesh, could this transformation be any slower? At least it isn’t all that painful.”

“Umm, can you let me up?” Beth groaned. “Your nipples are really starting to hurt as they become made of metal.”

“All the better.” Fran giggled as her body continued to stretch outward. “Some extra pain for this ordeal can do you some good.” Her nipples pined Beth to the ground, tearing through her exotic outfit. “Ohh god feeling your body against my new metallic body is just. . . god!”

Beth slowly nodded her head. “I am glad you are enjoying yourself.” She watched as Fran’s sides widened, ripping her uniform apart to reveal a sleek metallic frame. “Now, can you let me up?”

“No.” Her face began to expand. “I. . .” Fran took a deep breath. “I. . .” She blinked her headlights before suddenly honking. “Ughhh!” A tailpipe burst out of her rear end, shredding her pants. “Everything is heating up. Ohhh!” Beth slipped out from under Fran as Fran’s body pushed upward. Beth watched as car seats, a dashboard, and a steering wheel grew out of her back. “Ohhh.” Fran rolled back and forth, rubbing her metallic breasts on the floor. “Everything is hardening. I feel. . .” She revered her engine. “So. . .” She honked. “Good.”

Beth gulped. “Mr. Gongsel is going to kill me for this.”

Fran’s ass widened and expanded out over her back tires, destroying what was left of her pants. Her back continued growing and hardening into a sleek roof, blue paint suddenly forming on her new body. Fran looked at her body and smiled. “Oh my, don’t I look cute?” She revved her engine. “So much power. Ohhh, yes!” Her head slowly turned forward. “Ughh, I can feel myself. . .” She groaned. “Turning into. . .” She let out an ear-piercing honk as her head began to expand, her hair falling to the ground around her. Her teeth were forced into a smile to become her front bumper. Her headlight eyes were moved into position as the top of her head became the hood.

Beth took a deep breath as she looked upon Fran’s new body. “What have I done?” She walked up and lifted the hood. “Hey, are you in there?”

“What are you doing?” Fran knocked Beth to the ground. “I am not a car you can look inside of. I am a living being.” She revved her engine. “Now then. We have some business to attend to.”

Beth stood up. “No way. I am not going for any crazy ride with you. There is no way you can make me.”

Fran drove up next to Beth and opened the door as a seatbelt shot out and wrapped around Beth. “Oh really?” Fran pulled Beth inside of her car body. “We will see about that.” She shut the door and strapped Beth into the seat. “Now then. Enjoy the ride.”

Beth grabbed onto the wheel. “Stop this.” She looked around. “Also, how the hell are you even talking? You are a car, for crying out loud.”

“The radio. How else do you think cars talk?” Fran started to drive around the store. “Wow, this feels nice.”

Beth looked around the window. “Umm ya.” She reached down to unlatch her seatbelt. “I hope you. . .” She winced as the belt tightened. “Ughhhh.”

“You stay where you are.” Fran drove out of the building. “I am still upset that you gave me the wrong potion.”

“I. . . didn’t give you that potion. You drank it on your own.” Beth took a deep breath. “Besides. What can you do by just driving me around? I don’t see how going for a joy ride is that bad.”

Fran began to speed up. “Call it a hostile negotiation. Either you agree to give me the potion I want for my business.” She began to approach seventy miles an hour. “Or you will have to explain to the cops why you were running them ragged all over town. I am sure they will believe a story about a living car.”

Beth grabbed the wheel. “You are crazy. Stop this nonsense.”

“Not unless you give me what I want.” She turned a corner without slowing down, almost hitting a lamppost. “Oh my. That was a close one. Maybe next time, I won’t be so lucky.”

Sweat beat down Beth’s neck. “Ok, ok. Let’s talk. But slow down first.”

“I will slow down once you agree to my terms. I want a blueberry potion for my store.”

Beth took a deep breath. “Oh god! Ok, ok. I will get you one. Just. . . ughh, please.” She slammed her head against the headrest. “I don’t want to go to jail or, worse, die because you did something crazy. I am not like you. I don’t have a metal body to protect myself.”

Fran began to slow down. “That is what I want to hear. Happy to do business with you.”

Beth took a deep breath. “I hate this job.”

***

A few hours later, Beth stumbled back into Potion’s R Us. “I... I don’t want to do that ever again. Ugh.”

“Beth Limison!” She gulped as she looked at Mr. Gongsel’s disapproving stare. “You not only failed in your duty, but you sullied the reputation of Potion’s R Us.”

“I am sorry Mr. Gongsel. I. . . I wouldn’t blame you if you fired me.” She looked at the floor.

“I am not going to fire you. Once you work for Potion’s R Us, you stay with us for life.”

He crossed his arms. “This place is magic, and you must uphold the tradition one way or another.”

“What? But I can’t. . .”

“You will!” He turned around and tapped his chin. “But for now, we need to see about fixing this disgrace. Hmmm. What is it that the lady that you turned into a car needed?”

“Umm. . .” Beth sighed. “A blueberry potion.”

He turned his head. “Then we will give her what she needs. But not in the way that this Fran expects.” He narrowed his eyes. “Another punishment is in order, Beth. You have to learn how to run this store the hard way, it seems.”

She gulped.  I don’t like the sound of that.