Myriad Hiatus

The patreon is paused. No payments can be charged and new members cannot join. This will be the case until I have more concrete Myriad plans. Every plan I currently have is drastic and I need some time to really think things over. I may not have an answer until January, but this would always have been the case as I do not wish to run any campaigns during Nov-Dec holiday season. 

With the info I shared some time ago on twitter about being bipolar (https://twitter.com/SterLovesFood/status/1691209551872249856), I have not been mentally well enough to run Myriad games lately. The last short game, Blackskull Tavern, was an important test for myself. It was exceptionally difficult on me every week and I failed the test worse than I could have imagined, but professionalism is important to me so hearing that may come as a surprise.  

Currently I am deeply thinking if I should quit the project for sake of my mental health or if there are other ways of approaching it so that it may work better for me. The other directions are quite dramatic and not ready to be shared, but they come with the fear that if I make the significant commitment to see them through I will still find myself back in this situation once again. I am doing much better now, but preparing campaigns might be the catalyst that returns things to how they were. I need the time to even be able to trust myself that this is really what I want. Lately, I've wanted to simply enjoy what I have, just focus on streaming, rather than challenge myself to make more complicated content -- but when I'm not working on something like Myriad I still have that creative itch that wants to push me back into doing more. The only way I can get a fresh perspective is with time away looking from a different angle. I want to look from every angle before I confirm anything and hopefully by January I feel more comfortable with a conclusion.  

The intention of what Myriad was originally meant to be has changed a ton. I wanted to get people together that I'm not even friends with anymore. I wanted fully original content in a time before live streaming full TV episodes was normal. In many ways I think I was naïve going into this, but I also believe you need to be to accomplish things sometimes. If you were fully aware of how much would have to go into the path you set yourself down and understood the full scope it would be overwhelming to the point of not even starting. The drastic options I've mentioned represent a clean slate where I can really re-evaluate everything I want right now against how much has changed.

 If I do stop, I would only feel bad that I let down the community of interested viewers. People who have put their faith in me through things like this Patreon. I feel I have overpromised and under delivered. I have greatly enjoyed the journey, though, and my time doesn't feel wasted. I look back on everything very positively and it will make me better at anything I do in the future. I just don't know if I can succeed here without sacrifices I'm not sure I am willing to make or a different approach that makes it fit into my life easier.