The Captain's Heart CH 81

With them working opposing shifts, it made the one time Gral knew where to find Toom unavailable unless he wanted to leave Jeremy to sleep

With them working opposing shifts, it made the one time Gral knew where to find Toom unavailable unless he wanted to leave Jeremy to sleep alone. The current situation, if it even was one, wasn’t enough of an emergency for that. While he knew where Toom’s apartment was, his friend wasn’t often there when not sleeping. And not always, even then. He could call him, arrange a meeting, but he was concerned it would bring a formality to the question he didn’t want. Even if it was Toom Jeremy had seen, he wanted this to be two friends resolving the situation, and not bring the implication of rank arranging the meeting would.

It meant that tracking down his friend took most of first shift.

Brelen had seen him at the gym, but he had left by the time Gral got there. Miretel thought she’d seen him at the eatery, but then let him know it had been a different male. When he’d checked with Dresdiren, he’d learned Toom had just left.

He eventually found him at the third leisure alley he knew him to spend time in, at a table with five others, playing Roushgorar. He watched them place their stones down, take away those they overpowered, remix them and go again until one of them, a rust-fire furred female, exclaim victory. He had never gained an understanding of the game, except that it was supposed to represent the gods at war.

“Gral,” Toom greeted him, as the stones were pushed to the center and mixed, before each took fourteen. “Want to join in?”

“I’ll pass. Do you mind if we talk?”

“I’m about to start the next fight.”

“It’s about Jer.” As much as he hated using Hunter tactics and blindsiding him with a piece of information. His friend’s stiffening told him Jeremy had been right. He kept his expression friendly when Toom looked at him, but he reacted as if he’d been caught swiping his kill.

If the others noticed the tension, they ignored it.

“I guess I’m out of this one.” He pushed his stones back to the center pile and stood. “What about your Heart?” he asked as they walked out of the room.

“Maybe you can tell me why you’ve been stalking him?”

“I haven’t—” He closed his muzzle. “Why are you letting him keep you from the rest of us?”

“Why am I…” he couldn’t even finish the question. “What are you talking about?”

“When’s the last time you had sex with someone other than him?”

“I don’t know. Querik, I think. A couple of weeks before he left.”

“Is that when your Heart forbid you from having sex with anyone else?”

“What? No, Jeremy wouldn’t do that.”

“Then how come you’re been turning us all down?” Toom’s tone turned accusatory. “I’ve checked with the others. Even asked around at your usual clubs. They haven’t seen you there for a while, pretty much since you and your Heart starting fucking.”

He almost pointed out that Querik had been after that, but he realized what his friend was alluding to. “Jeremy’s and Earther, Toom. They don’t see sex the way we do.”

“Really?” The anger slipped in. “What is it to them? Some holy ceremony to their gods? Because I can’t think of anything else that would get you, Favored Hunter, to hold out on the rest of us.”

“It’s not that.” The use of that nickname told Gralgiran how angry Toom was, not that it explained why. His friend knew how he disliked it. Being an efficient hunter and Alpha didn’t cause his namesake to think better of him.

“Then what is it?”

“It’s the way they get attached. To them, sex means…” how was he supposed to explain such a different concept as exclusive pairing? “It’s going to be easier if I show you.” A search told him where the closest available viewing room was and he locked it out. He should go through Custodial, but for once he used his rank to ensure he didn’t have to deal with delays. “Follow me.”

    *

“If you’re about to show me a recording of just how good he is to justify not needing the rest of us,” his friend said bitterly as they stepped into the viewing room. “I don’t know that I’m interested.”

“It’s not that.” He called up the Earther romantic movie he’d selected. “A word of warning, this is Earther media. They approach storytelling in a different way than we do.” He sat and motioned for Toom to join him.

After a roll of the eyes, he did, and Gralgiran started it.

It opened on a panning of an Earther city. He hadn’t been able to find out which one with the limited database on Earth he had access to, but he expected the tower in the distance, a thin triangular scaffolding sort of thing, was distinctive enough it would place it for any Earther watching it. Where this took place might even add meaning to the story, although that could be his Kelsirian mindset overlaying itself. Maybe Earthers didn’t care where a story took place.

“What am I looking for?” Toom asked.

“It’s not yet. This is the establishing shot.”

“The tower tells them where it is,” he said impatiently. “It’s established.”

“Earther storytelling, Toom. They take more time with—”

“I don’t have that much time to give you, Gralgiran.”

His ears folded back. “Sorry. Earther storytelling is captivating in how different—” he took a breath. “Sorry.” He located the first scene that would help with what he wanted to explain. The Earther male and female meeting.

“This is a romantic movie. The Earther version of a love ballad. That’s where the two destined to be together meet.”

“They aren’t recognizing each other.”

“They aren’t Hearts. I haven’t seen any movies depicting Hearts. Some come close, but Jer says the closest they have are Soul Mates, and it’s not the same.”

“Okay. So they met. How does that explain why you’re letting your Heart—”

“I’m not letting him, anything, Toom. He hasn’t demanded anything. This is about understanding how Earthers love, since they don’t have Hearts.”

“Fine,” his friend said in resignation.

On the screen, the two future mates talked and laughed. Entered an eatery.

“Is anything going to happen?”

Gralgiran was getting a sense of how his friend had felt when he’d tried to explain how a match of Roushgorar was played. He had no interest in seeing the intricacy of Earther storytelling, the layering of meaning, hints of future details.

He moved to another scene. The male, close to another female, the feelings for each other clear on their face and, he could now tell, their body language. The female from the previous meeting walked in on them. There was shock, outrage, then rage and screaming.

“What just happened?” Toom asked.

“She walked in on the one she planned on making her mate with another female. She’s angry at the betrayal.”

“What betrayal? She didn’t attack him, or is it that she’s an enemy and he isn’t attacking her?”

“It’s neither. It’s a betrayal of the exclusive relationship she perceived them to be in. He also agrees that he’s in it, and this is a misunderstanding that will take most of the movie to resolve, but—” he could see he’d lost his friend.

“Earthers build relationships on exclusivity. A male and a female. If one mate dies, it’s acceptable for the other to find a new partner. If they agree to dissolve the relationship. Then they can build new ones. But they are always one male and one female and their cubs.” He didn’t bring up the conflict of cubs from previous relationships. Earther’s odd concept of ownership when it came to cubs was still baffling to him.

“Why?”

Gralgiran shrugged. The movies he’d studied hadn’t shed light on that. “But it is the way they are. The movie isn’t an exact representation of a relationship; they take liberties for the sake of storytelling. But it’s the one that is the least unrealistic among those I’ve seen.”

Toom shook his head in confusion. “I don’t get what that has to do with you.”

“Jer’s an Earther. That is all he knows.”

“He gets that he’s among Kelsirians now, doesn’t he?”

“That doesn’t change who is he. What he’s been taught by his society.”

“The one that screwed up his mind?”

“I don’t think it’s related. There are no indication of ultrasonics in any of the movie I’ve studied. This is a representation of how their relationships are built.”

“That’s not what I mean. Why would he care if that’s how they are? He’s here, with us.”

“He’s alone, Toom. A lone Earther among us, and the only thing he has to hold on to is me. The relationship we have.”

“You have explained things to him, haven’t you? He’s your Heart. Nothing can change that. He’ll always love You.”

“He doesn’t understand that. Earthers don’t have gods as far as Jeremy knows, and Querik didn’t come across anything to indicate the contrary. There is nothing in his experience to explain what we have, to provide meaning to what we are. All he has is that.” He motioned to the screen, where the female stormed off, leaving the male devastated.

“Wait, they were still fighting?”

“There was an attempt at explaining. It failed. She’s too angry to listen.” He took a breath. “If I do anything to make Jer feel like that, he’s got no one to fall back on and help him. We’re all Kelsirians. We’re all a representation of the betrayal I’d commit.”

Toom stared at him. “And that’s enough to push me—us away forever?”

He placed a hand on his friend’s thigh. “Not forever. Hopefully, he’ll come to realize—”

“Just tell him that you having sex with your friends isn’t a betrayal.”

“It isn’t that simple.”

“He’s got a Kelsirian Heart, he’ll understand.”

“But he has an Earther upbringing. That’s powerful too.”

“And because of that, you’re the one who has to suffer?”

Gralgiran snorted. “Who says I’m suffering?”

Toom startled, then stammered an attempt at something that didn’t reach fully formed sounds. “He’s that satisfying?” he finally asked in astonishment.

“Earther stamina,” he replied. “That and the way his cock is shaped makes for very satisfying sex.”

“You aren’t going to change your mind, are you?”

“Toom. He’s my Heart. Eventually, he’ll come to understand nothing can tear us apart, but until then, it’s my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t suffer.”

“Alright.”

He could tell his friend wasn’t happy about his decision, probably didn’t really understand the depth of the differences between Earther and Kelsirian relationships, but he’d respect him.

Outline section 

Gral pinning down Toom to question him in a way that didn’t involve flexing his muscle as the captain was proving difficult. He somehow managed to avoid Gral on his way to and from the bridge, managed to leave the mess hall whenever Gral just arrived, and even managed to not be in his room whenever Gral was fairly certain he should be.

Eventually it becomes obvious to at least the bridge crew that something is going on, and if he can’t keep it private from them he may as well find out what is up. As such one day Gral just orders everyone off the bridge for a few minutes but him and Toom. This shouldn’t take too long.

Gral is very quick and to the point. Something is upsetting Toom, and while he might have thought it was something incidental at first, it has become very clear that something involves Gral. So spit it out, what is it? And no excuses about it not affecting his work, because it is obviously affecting his life.

Toom, after a bit of tooth pulling, will say it’s because Gral started only having sex with his Heart. This catches Gral slightly by surprise, particularly since Toom has been avoiding him, but Toom says he talked to others who have their hearts and they say it’s all a phase... so Tom has been waiting to see when he starts hooking up with others again... because he didn’t want to be rejected.

If kelsirian’s have a gesture similar to facepalming, Gral will do it now. He says he has something he has to show Toom, and he turns to go and call the rest of the crew back to the bridge... only to find them all crowded up against the door rather than milling about like normal adults. He’ll call them a bunch of Learning Center adolescents, and then give one of the officers with training to handle the pilot position command of the helm while he and Toom go off to resolve a few things.

###

If there is a good thing about being the captain is that you have the leisure to commandeer one of the recreation rooms for your own purposes. He could have just done this in one of their rooms, but Gral didn’t want to send the wrong message to Toom. So they went to one of the media rec rooms and Gral put on a movie... to be exact a human romantic drama.

Toom, either during the movie or after it, will express some confusion. To this Gral will break down the characters, and showcase their demonstrations of faithfulness to their partners and how the story treats violations of that faithfulness as a negative trait. The term is monogamous, a term Gral prefers since the kelsirian equivalent is something buried deep in their ethology terminology and sounds much too clinical.

Toom is a bit incredulous that Gral is basing all of this on one movie, to which Gral will say he’s actually watched several and the theme seems consistent. That is obviously not an appropriate answer for Toom, so Gral will follow up that he’s also observed it in Jeremy’s behavior. He has repeated said that Gral is his one and only, and just recently came home expressing some light embarrassment over a trip to the massage parlor run by Thuruk’s heart.

This is not a happy answer to Toom, but Gral is insistent. He has a human heart, one who may never walk amongst other humans again because he chooses to be with Gral. The least Gral can do is honor their love in a human manner. His stance on the matter if firm.

Addition 

No additions

This is setup for something that will come to a head much later(as in the next book, I think) but also putting on the page what Gralgiran understand of human relationship, as well as indirectly establishing what they are, since movies are a reflection of how thing tend to be. Also, the database he has access to was curated, to they would show what is wanted, instead of more….experimental stuff that might be found floating around.

I’m pleased with the result. I think Gral’s position works and makes sense for the person that he is.