The Technician's Fight, Draft 1, CH18

“Okay,” Bob’s voice message began. “I’m going to start with. You should have told me. I shouldn’t have found out what happened to you when one of your friends sent me a message. We’re the only two Earthers on other species’ ships, so we need to stay in touch.”

“And yes, you heard that right. Turns out I missed you by two days. By the sound of it, I also missed my chance at ending up in bed with an Adjudicator. If I didn’t enjoy who I’m with, I’d complain. Oh. If you can avoid it, don’t get in a relationship with a Garan, err, Kersosteran, to you. The paperwork is killer. In a few of my old collection, there are scenes where the people getting married sign a contract about what it’s going to be like for them, and I thought it was the stupidest thing ever. I’d happily sign one of those instead of this. But they definitely made me feel welcome once I did. And by they, I mean many of them. The crew on this ship are all in one giant relationship. It is not boring, let me tell you that.”

“Any way, this shouldn’t be all about me. Message me, Jeremy Bradshaw. Tell me how you are doing. What happened? Come on, don’t put that responsibility on your friends.”

*

“First of, Bob, it’s Jeremy. We’re friends. Don’t go making my name longer.”

“I’m…better. I don’t know what my friend told you, but I had to kill someone when they tried to kidnap me again. My head got smashed in pretty hard in the fight, so I didn’t remember for a while. Then I had to deal with what I did. Kelsirians are weird. I love mine, but this idea that killing to protect myself isn’t just okay, but it’s normal? I don’t know if I’ll ever wrap my head around it. How many reports back on Earth were about people being investigated as part of having hurt someone while defending themselves? Hurt, not killed, hurt. Are Earther’s wimps? Or are Kelsirians savages?”

“Since you didn’t bring it up, I’m guessing that wasn’t something they told you, but I had sex with another Kelsirian. And before you even comment, keep in mind my face is burning right now. I am so not comfortable talking about it. It wasn’t planned, and it was broadcasted as part of the adjudication that brought us to the station. I kind of wish I’d seen the Earther’s face when their demands to see I wasn’t being held against my will showed them me having sex with an alien guy. Male. I really should get in the habit of using Federation standards. To make matters more…well, interesting. That recording was then distributed publicly. A friend of mine, the one I suspect contacted you, claims he isn’t entirely behind it, but I’m not entirely sure I believe him. It’s exactly the kind of things he’d do for some extra money. Or just for the thrill of it. He can’t need money, he works for the ship and the pay is really good. I have no idea what to do with all of mine.”

“A consequence of that being made public is that I’ve had a few, more than a few, requests to join some of the guys in their bed. It’s always in person, and done in public in such a way that I never never feel cornered. And when I turn them down, there’s no drama. My friends have told me how sex it just this thing they do, but it’s still odd to me. Haven’t had a lot of sexual attempts in my life, but the few I remember of a woman approaching me for sex did not end with her just nodding and moving on when I told her no.”

“And yes, I have turned all of them down. I’m trying, but knowing it’s normal for them isn’t making it easy for me. I have no idea how you managed it. And I also don’t want it to be with strangers. I have friends. If I’m going to have sex with someone other than Gral, it’s going to be one of them.”

*

“Technician,” the Engineer said, pulling Jeremy away from the datafile he was going through, to determine if any of the ship’s power conduits needed to be checked. At this rate, he was going to know how the ship worked between than Maintenance and Repairs.

The Engineer offered him a tool bag. “I need you to go into the reactor and check the balancing boards. The readings are fluctuating. There are replacements in the bag.”

His hand was to the strap when the instructions registered fully, and he stared.

“Well?” the Engineer asked, irritated.

“You’re telling me to go work on the reactor. On your reactor?”

“I have work to do here and this needs to be done.”

“A—Engineer, you scream at anyone who even looks at it.”

The Engineer rolled his eyes. “Then how about you see this at the trust you have earned? Instead of questioning what your Engineer tells you to do?”

Jeremy searched the narrowing eyes for a sign his friend was sick. When the expression turned angry, he grabbed the back and hurried to do the work he’d been assigned.

Conversation in engineering stopped when Jeremy undid the cover that would let him access the inside of the reactor. He expected everyone’s gaze went from him to the office’s window. Someone, he figured Prertiros would message the Engineer to report the infraction.

He crouched and went in, standing once he was out from under the control boards. He was already sweating from the heat, but didn’t let that bother him. He had been given work to do. He put the bag down, took the scanner, and set to finding the balancer that needed to be changed.

*

The new one was in place and connected, and all that was left was to secure it. He took a step back, and it caught on the bag. He almost fell, catching himself at the last moment on the reactor’s internal wall. Horrified, he pulled his hand away, checking it for burns, before how hot it had been registered.

Or rather, how warm.

He moved his hand close, closer still, then touched it.

No more than warm. It grew uncomfortable on his skin, but he didn’t think he’d burn himself. He looked up at the anti-matter chamber. He’d gotten third degree burns pulling one out of his reactor. It had been spiraling, but it would have still happened under normal operations. He had to shut it down to do internal maintenance.

And here he was inside the equivalent space of a Kelsirian reactor and he was only sweating.

He laughed. The bastard had cracked heat control and all it required was making a giant version. He kept chuckling as he gathered the tools he’d spilled, took the one he needed and secured the balancer, then exited.

He ignored the stares as he returned to the office.

“I finally get it!” he announced as the door closed, fully aware he was breaking protocol and not caring. “I finally understand why your reactor’s so large.” He stepped to the Engineer and dropped the bag. “Temp control!” he grabbed the guy by the shoulders and pulled him up. “You make it that big because it lets heat dissipate!”

“I designed my reactor this way,” the Engineer said, his tone darkening, “because I will not crawl about when I need to work in it.”

Jeremy didn’t hear the end. The Engineer’s vest didn’t have sleeves, so he had hands full of fur. Soft, sandy fur.

“Let go of me, Technician.”

Instead, Jeremy rubbed up and down the arms. The fur was longer than Gralgiran’s, finer.

“Jer..remy?” Alix’s voice caught. “What are you doing?”

What was he doing?

He remembered an offer, a long time ago, to help him get relief. That Alix was a friend, and that he wanted this. Slowly, he pulled his friend’s vest off. “Tell me to stop,” he said, his voice husky.

Instead, Alix leaned forward, rubbed his muzzled against Jeremy’s cheek, and undid his pants.

*

Jeremy fled.

There was no other word for what he did once the afterglow faded and what he’d done sunk in. He’d cheated in Gralgiran, again.

With one is friends, again.

He grabbed his clothed, put his pants on before leaving and nearly tripped down the stairs putting his shirt on. Alix’s puzzled look stayed with him.

There was only one thing he could do now.

Go confess his crime.

*

The bridge was large, which didn’t surprise him. Everything Kelsirian was made for comfort, and they loved their space. What surprised him was how few of them there were. Movies always had ships bridges filled with posts and each one occupied. He counted eight position; only four of them occupied. The only position he knew the name of was the pilot’s seat. In which a female sat.

The one person not there, was Gralgiran. There wasn’t even a seat for the Captain to sit in.

Before he could ask, a male pointed to a door in the wall, and Jeremy went to it. And stood there. He shouldn’t delay. Gralgiran wouldn’t get any easier to deal with if he waited.

Why had he done this?

The door opened, and his choice was made for him.

“This is unexpected,” his Heart said, glancing in his direction before returning his gaze to the screen. His Mate said. The male he’d betrayed again said.

Jeremy forced himself to move and to not wince when the door closed on his coming imprisonment. He made it to the seat, but could only sit on the edge of it, waiting to be told to speak.

Gralgiran’s eyes scanned lines of text, circled some with a claw, poked it and send it off-screen.

He wasn’t going to order him. He was probably too busy to deal with this, anyway. He should let him work.

“I had sex with Alix,” he blurted out.

“Okay.”

That interrupted his heartfelt apology.

Okay? No, it wasn’t okay. Maybe he hadn’t heard? Jeremy could still get out of this unscathed.

“Gral,” he said slowly. “I had sex with Alix.”

“I’m glad.”

No, he couldn’t be glad. He had to be angry with him. Jeremy had betrayed him. Committed a crime against their love. There was no way his Heart was okay with it.

Only. He was.

“You’re actually okay with it,” he whispered, having no idea what to do with that revelation.

“Why wouldn’t I be? Alix’s a good lover and he’s your friend.”

“But…. I…we….”

Something flashed in Gralgiran’s eyes that wasn’t anger. Then he was before him, holding Jeremy’s hands.

“We talked about it, Jer. You said you were okay with it. You had sex with Toom.”

“I hadn’t planned that. With Alix, I could have stopped, but I didn’t. I…I don’t know why I did it.”

The hands squeezed. “Whatever your reasons, you did nothing wrong. I understand this is difficult for you. Your upbringing didn’t prepare you for this. But I love you. Regardless of you being my Heart, I love you. That will not change, no matter who else you have sex with. I won’t have less sex with you, no matter who else we have sex with. What we have is ours. It will always be. What you have with them is yours and theirs.”

“Aren’t you worried?”

Gralgiran kissed him. “Jer, I worry about many things surrounding you. That you will choose someone else isn’t one of them. You chose me. You decided to be with me even if you don’t believe I am your Heart.”

“I do. I don’t get it, but I do.”

“Then I have nothing to worry about. If you want to have sex with someone else, that is between you and them.”

Jeremy chuckled nervously. “I have no idea what to do with that.”

Gralgiran kissed him again. “You do what you feel comfortable doing.”

Jeremy nodded.

“Is the crisis averted?”

“Yes.”

“Then you should probably go back to work. We’re in the middle of the shift.”

“He’s going to kill me.”

“He isn’t killed me yet, and the sense I get is that he likes you more than me these days. You’re safe.”

*

“I’m sorry for running off,” Jeremy said when the Engineer’s office door closed behind him.

“Did you resolve the issue?” the Engineer asked without looking up from his screen.

“Yes.”

“Good. There is still a datafile for you to analyze.” He paused as Jeremy took his seat. “Jeremy, I say this only to account for the fact you weren’t raised Kelsirian. The sex doesn’t change anything between us. I am the Engineer, you are still a Technician.”

“I know. I didn’t do it to change that. I did it….” He could no longer avoid it. “I did it because I wanted to.”

Alix reached over and squeezed his hand. “I’m glad we did. I’ve wanted to for a while now.” He let go, and the tone was severe again. “Now, get to work, Technician.”

Outline section 

Alix send Jeremy to fix something in the reactor itself. Jeremy will need to react to that.

Later that week, Jeremy is having a normal day in engineering when he makes what he thinks is a mistake but walks away unburned. Looking around, Jeremy for the first time takes in part of the nature of the reactor and how it’s size acts as one big natural heat sink. [insert number here] years and he only just now figured that out.

He’ll state this revelation to Ajax, to which Ajax responds that the generator is this size because he likes to move about. Heat dissipation is a bonus, but mobility came first. This is followed up by some flirtation, and statements that the fact Jeremy slept with Toom kinda got around. No, Toom and Gral didn’t talk, but it was broadcasted in the middle of a federation courtroom.

Escalation happens, and Jeremy and Ajax start taking things past heavy petting.

###

Jeremy was a nervous wreck when he stood in front of the door to Gral’s office. He could have waited until his heart came home, but for something like this you didn’t wait. Not unless you wanted to drive yourself crazy... which he’s doing right now by waiting so long before opening the door.

He finally does, and Gral is a little surprised to see him. But everything makes sense when Jeremy states, like a child confession to a crime, that he just had sex with Ajax. Gral will set aside what he was doing at the moment, and state that everything is OK. Things that were infered during the encounter with Toom will be stated outright here and now: sex and love isn’t the same thing for kelsirians, and Gral isn’t going to force Jeremy to continue living by human standards while Gral lives by kelsirian ones.

This relieves a great tension Jeremy didn’t even realize he had. Him and Gral will talk, having a mature talk about love and sex, and their individual histories with it. Like, Jeremy might try doing things like a kelsirian but he won’t be having sex with woman... he tired that one when some of his friends made being a virgin a big deal... never again. Also, there is like a list of people Jeremy has said no to in the past that likely want a shot at Jeremy now that he’s on the market as it were. Xenial for one. Gral doesn’t mind, he knows where Jeremy’s heart is.

Addition 

A message from bob

Boiling down the outline, the important part was about Jeremy having sex with Alix, feelign guilty, confessing his crime, and coming to understand how natural for Kelsirians it is.

The went pretty much as I expected.

The exchange of message between Jeremy and Bob wasn’t so much a addition as taking something from elswhere and spreading the concept around. And it let me address some of what happened in what felt like an organic way.

If I remember them, these messages will be an ongoing thing throughout the books.

The reactor scene was always planned. Dates back to draft 0 in fact. It was important to me to establish that for Kelsirians, efficiency comes second to comfort.