Flash Fried: 22 Jul 2020

you might lose weight, but you'll always be fat in your heart

lost and found

Make Taco Bell great again.

Zared Sabretooth

i blame late stage capitalism, personally

c0lt

I've been to the Taco Bell headquarters for a packaging conference and met the person (Yes, one person) solely responsible for putting less hot sauce in each packet. I'm willing to bet money that the same group is responsible for ousting these items.

ProEbola

I'm still playing Civ 5 like a scrub, I really need a new computer lol

Josh Jerome

yeah, im fat as fuck and i need to see that are some even fatter fucks out there to feel better :D

Złosiej Stępień

Oligarchy is the second most primitive government type according to civ 6.

The True Nihilist

Portland mayor demands removal of federal agents detaining protesters, but will then will turn around and ask for federal aid to pay for the damage caused by said protesters.

Shawn Johnson

You're really worried about a virus that has a 99.5% survival rate? Do you play the lottery as well?

Shawn Johnson

The loser of the weight loss challenge should have to mow the winner’s lawn while wearing a dress of their choice. I realize Paul lives in an apartment building but I’m sure there are some patches of grass around there that TJ could mow as he gets whistled at by toothless rednecks.

Tito Manfredo

scotty is looking like a sexy thor! taylor is a lucky woman! :D

Memoria

When did they get rid of it? I haven't been in a while but the one near me had them the last time I went. If it's gone that pretty much cuts the amount of their items I find edible in half, and I'm not going there just to get chalupas. They screw you on the meat on those things.

Josh Jerome

#MakeTacoBellGreatAgain

Nicholas

I walk around at night and have personally seen multiple fucking house parties in my neighborhood. There are absolutely dipshits throwing house parties right now and it's absurd to believe otherwise. As soon as the month long locks were taken off of my parks playground fence it was fucking PACKED.

Zeaxe

BRING BACK THE GRILLED STUFFED BURITO TACO BELL!!! FUCKING GRILLED FUCKING STUFFED FUCKING BURRITO!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING TACO BELL MOTHER FUCKS!!!!!!!!!!

Zion Smith

Please don't none of you lose any weight. As patrons, we want you fat. We need you fat. We paid for some of that fat. If anything, Scotty should try to GAIN weight

Ishaan govardhan

I'm sorry man. I hope you are handling it well <3

Al Ex

You know T.J. is going to fail the "diet" because he's counting the decimals. :D lol 3.4 lbs.? HAHAHA

Zion Smith

Did...did TJ just troll Paul into losing weight?

Mecha

Take that degeneracy over to DeviantArt where it belongs

Enlightened Vatnik

The dudes taking the protesters weren't soldiers they're feds playing military

Keith Dickens

For your weight loss competition: Have a furry, in full fur suit get up, Enter stage right. In his/her/their paw, a paddle. strapped to a table shirtless is the loser. Scotty must wax the fat fuck's chest and belly hair. Afterwards the furry will play a fucking drum solo on the loser's tummy with the paddle until either Scotty feels satisfied, or the furry cums in their fur suit whichever is achieved first. You're welcome.

Ashlet

My best friend DID die today, and I AM, in fact, having a very surreal experience.

CORNMAN

I'm in San Diego and the amount of local businesses that closed for good is crazy

Notjustklownin

Also you guys should really educate yourselves on China. Economically China could definitely do some damage but militarily they are not a significant threat to the US. They are at best a regional power at this point, they could potentially threaten our Asian allies but most experts agree that they would lose much more than they would gain by cutting off trade with Australia, Japan and South Korea. Not to mention India despises China and has equal manpower right on China’s doorstep. But most importantly China has no blue water Navy and cannot project power outside of the South China Sea effectively. Australia and Japan have both already begun the process of decoupling from the Chinese economy and the United States should begin to do the same.

Jeffrey Searcy

Considering gold and silver have been valuable for all of human history it’s probably a pretty safe investment. In a total apocalypse it would be useless for a long time but in the case of a US economic collapse being able to exchange your gold and silver for a currency that is not valueless would be very helpful. If you want proof just look at post ww1 Germany, people with useless reichsmarks starved and people with gold and silver were able to buy goods from neighboring countries and survive.

Jeffrey Searcy

It's on Bonfire. There's a merch link at the top of the new website though

Josh Jerome

where the hell is the link for the shirts? What website are they using now?

ShartedBarf

TJ started to "diet argument" with Paul at 5:30 when he suggested that Paul should order a 7XL

Over stuffed

Or set a date where the "loser" has to pay the winner. But if the loser ever has a lower bmi than the other, they win and get the money back. And it just continues forever.

Xinic5

If you want the weight loss challenge to work never give it an end date.

JP

Do more squats you FAT FUCK!

JP

Idea for the punishment for losing the weight loss competition. Livestream. Loser has to eat a giant plate of cauliflower. He cannot speak until he has finished his plate and the others can berate him the entire time.

Dan Childers

I'm thinking eating a tarantula on stream. You can buy a salted, fully edible one for like $20

Amelia

Mp3?

Kevin Wayne Bowen

About the Starbucks thing, I worked at one of the busiest Starbucks location in my state (Colorado). There were 6 Different Cameras, one in the back, two in drive through, one up front, one in the lobby & one looking over the bars. As busy as our Starbucks was, we were also behind in technology. Most stores probably had more cameras (and versatile ones that could see in 360 vision). I would have easily been caught if I tried spitting up a loogie. Not only that, the Rhythm of our Store makes it incredibly difficult to find time to do anything like this if you are working on drinks (i assume it's similar in most Starbucks). This Cop is a massive liar, and he wants attention. We had customers complain about the same kind of stuff all the time (like we purposefully made a decaf drink just because we didn't like the customer). It's only when it's a cop that it makes national news.

Hypnotic Visionaire

Way to talk about your shirt 4 20min

WilliamTLC

That banter was gold! Holy shit! That was entertaining as fuck, thanks both.

Lamashtu

At the end of the day, none of you are losing the weight and we, the beautiful fans, all know it!

NOAH EARTHLING

Scotty here is looking like he's trying out for an actual Lion King live action remake.

Arvid Malm

I love your rants about anti-intellectualism. I felt like I AM THE ONE INSANE lately.. Surrounded by morons.

Adam Schneider

tbh the loser should do a mukbang lol idn if i spelled that right to lazy to check

Dread

Lmao. Love the shovel joke. Awesome as always

Goat da Stoner

About the Gold: You're right that most people have the wrong idea about going to the farmers market and paying in Gold. The real reason is international stability.

Also, you guys should do an episode about Qanon. Probably won't be able to post that on Youtube but for us Patrons, I think people would like that.

Katya

Me before starting: "Why is the video an hour longer than usual" Me 30 minutes in: "Oh"

Katya

Pretty soon people in the US will start killing "those who cough or sneeze without covering their mouth" and all the businesses will be closed permanently because people are tired of the virus and having their freedumbs taken away. It's gonna be like that story where the dude farted and caused a massive fight and slaughter to erupt. brrrrrrr *entire city begins screaming and rioting*

Psychedelic Fox

10 years from now we're gonna have the demolition man tacobell

Slizenberg

I know it's only been 21 minutes but this should have more likes than just mine already.

Josh Jerome

I live in Honolulu. You're not telling me anything I don't already know.

Bryan Mantle

A scrumptious delivery, m'lords.

Jared Miller

Once everybody has shit in their beds, we’ve established Amber Heard immunity

Sir Drinkalot

Eat a whole stick of deep fried butter. A pickle inserted into your rectum. Must take shots until you puke. Wear a pig costume for an entire show. Wear a ball gag for an entire show. I’m sure the rest of the patrons can think of more devious stuff. Be clever, be weird. Looking forward to this TJ/Paul showdown!! Love you guys

Altamonty

Loser should have to do the opposite of what caused the throwdown. Whoever loses the least weight has to honestly and sincerely apologize for ever challenging the very clearly superior victor. as well as take back everything they said, and praise and cherish the winner as the true reason that every patron gives pessimist productions $10 monthly. They also have to talk about how they are a know-nothing fatass who shouldn't be allowed to make their own life decisions, and would be better off if the winner followed them around and told them what to do.

steven bartells

As far as a humiliating thing for the loser to do? Here’s some ideas....

Altamonty

I’m down for the vote. In regards to a weekly, patron vote for who is visually losing weight better, faster, etc.

Altamonty

My mother and brother believe in that Q shit... How tf do I reach them.

JD

Banter Fried

Paul is disgustingly fat compared to new svelte TJ.

Maya Balsich

20 mins of them bitching at one another about who is more fat. Flash fried? Bantersode? I have no clue what I'm watching

damien glenn

Flash Fried: The Bantersode.

Thomas Washington

Upload audio already

NukeOhio

Rest in peace Michael.

Matthew Demski

Yeah, I used to watch the Michael Brookes show most days. Left is best dude.

steven decke

Those scenes in Portland look a lot like the ones I saw in Palestine a few years ago. They say the war always comes home.

steven decke

Cheejay, remember that the math doesn’t lie. If your extra amount of kcal on your cheat days is greater than the sum of kcal-deficit on you non-cheat days, you ain’t gonna lose no weight son. You can solve this by having half a cheat day, as in only cheating between 2-8pm, or only having a cheat day every two weeks. Remember the math, Cheejay. Remember the math.

Sir Drinkalot

Bet Suggestion. If TJ loses, squeeze his collar bones for about 3 minutes or so. Tie him to a chair so he doesn't run away. If Paul loses he must eat a piece of chicken leg. Paul hates the vains and tendons of a chicken leg. Paul can have a bucket in front of him if he pukes but he can't spit bits out. Or we can just keep it simple and have them both eat a food they don't like as punishment for their glutony.

Alex from PA

How about making pageboy TJ happen if he loses the bet.

Mainframer

If TJ wins the bet, he fucks Paul's ass and puts it on pornhub. If Paul wins the bet, he fucks TJ's ass and puts it on pornhub.

Sam Charles

Sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how emotionally taxing that was. Take care of yourself and your other pooch.

Amelia

Well ain't this fitting. A shovel joke while I shovelled all fucking day burying one of our family dogs. Legit, can't help but laugh. Ah fucking crazy world isn't it. At least it follows up with some great ole flash fried. I can cuddle my other pooch and watch this now and feel less shitty :')

Ignar Husky

Shovels.

SimpleSlides

Mp3?

Kevin Wayne Bowen

Yeaaah the best time of the week

10baseballdmo

Yay!

Julie Ann Payne

Hey guys stop your bitching it's here 😂

Derrick Cannady