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Flash Fried: 19 August 2020

 What's green and has wheels? 

Grass. 

I lied about the wheels. 


Audio in next post.

Flash Fried: 19 August 2020

Comments

If the UBI was adjusted area to area, couldn't people just move to the nicest part of the country and get the highest benefit?

Ebee

https://www.the-sun.com/news/1343098/north-carolina-cop-fired-tiktok-george-floyd/ found it

Adam Scott

Was a rapist

nick

Jacob Blake

Brandon Smith

Maybe you wouldn't. Some people would, because having money and having even more money aren't functionally identical. If the bare minimum existence is good enough for you, cool, more jobs for the go-getters. Which is not to shame you at all; I tend to think I would do the same, but honestly most of the people with whom I discuss my lifestyle are perplexed at how I'm not bored out of my mind all the time. Maybe they're just making up justifications because they don't have the choice to not work, but I try to take them at their word and assume that a part of them needs to feel useful to feel fulfilled.

Josh Jerome

Why would I get up and go to work if I can get money for free?

Shawn Johnson

Twice the size of Texas??? That’s just insane.

Carley Gillis

He is completely oblivious.

Graham Paterson

to my understanding "rolling" is to be high on MDMA or one of its derivatives

Josh Jerome

I notice a distinct lack of corpse midget coverage. Terrible episode.

Lucian Hodoboc

I believe Nancy Pelosi’s freezer was valued at around $25K. A $3-5K fridge would actually be pretty modest for that vapid rotten ghoul.

Tito Manfredo

I have a good feeling TJ's writing the anti jokes. I love em.

OldCrow

1:49:30 How about tit's on a scorpion?

The Reclusive Extrovert

I hear Paul talking a big fucking game for someone who didn’t leave their apartment even BEFORE the pandemic started

Preston Neal

I love when people put exclamation points at the end of sentences that don't look like they should require the passion that piece of punctuation portrays. lol It's like "I climb ladders to clean my gutters!" why is that so passionate? It's funny.

Phat Man

that last story is some real life grumpy old men shit

Slizenberg

The Left is a myth, it's a fucking pipe dream!

nihilgeist

Useless as balls on a dildo

Kristen R

WTF, Athene has a cult??? I used to love that dude!

Samtar

I live in Colorado, and my mom grew up in Pueblo (I visit there at least twice a year). It is dirt cheap, very good housing and has some great Mexican restaurants. The Place is Open to Weed but isn’t obsessed with it (unlike Denver). It’s a fantastic place for DFF if you are all alright with Dry Weather & a Poor-Esque Area (though it’s only really bad in certain neighborhoods). No joke, I think it would be a great place for DFF to move towards.

Hypnotic Visionaire

Oh shit I'm growin some Blue Dream right now. Bout 7wks out. Cheers Paul.

Bigass Frog

The MyPillow guy sounds like Jesse Ventura.

Josh Jerome

You lied about the wheels!? SCAMMED AGAIN!

SarahJRandomNumbers

Shit why not try one of the varieties of destroying angel mushrooms, Some of the most poisonous known mushrooms

Rat squatch

I mean he also had gunports and a .50 cal and a .357 in there. Would have been dumb to try. That Cody dipshit was dumb to even try and face off against it with his front-loader. Hell, the COPS were dumb to not immediately say "yeah nope" and call in the national guard.

Josh Jerome

Oleandrin is a toxic cardiac glycoside found in the poisonous plant, oleander. IF YOU HAVE CORONA JUST MUNCH ON ONE OF THE MOST PROLIFIC POISONOUS PLANT FOUND READILY IN GARDENS. JUST EAT SOME FUCKING NIGHTSHADE. JUST CHEW SOME RICINUS SEEDS. PUT SOME FUCKING POISON HEMLOCK UP YOUR ASS.

Zeaxe

One of my fav antijokes

Roger

Baltimore is such a shithole, The inner city cops are such a holes. They pick and choose what areas to parole. They care so much more for there tourist spot inner harbor. People are leaving that city in waves. I lived in Baltimore for 4 years.

Andrew Rose Vickers

OK Boomer

Count drugula

Marijuana is for stupid boomers and old people lol, not cool anymore

c0lt

It's a shrouded hammer, not a hammerless. It still has a hammer, it's just internal. The action is still double action, not semi-auto. The practical difference is, however, minimal.

Edvard Lundgren

is it????

c0lt

Look into Graham Hancock and his theories about earlier civilizations. Its gonna blow your mind.

Edvard Lundgren

colorado is pretty dope not gonna lie. pueblo is a shithole though.

robozo

TJ, look up a short film called Slaughterbots. That’s the new Robocop.

Elizabeth Ann Duffy

Clintmonk - https://s1374.photobucket.com/user/Presifundent/media/Clintmonk%20final_zpspgnvdjeg.jpg.html And go fuck yourself if you think it sucks. Haven't used a photoshop-like program in like 16 years. Took like an hour, had to download MIB2 scrub through to find what I was looking for and check out a paint.net tutorial to figure something out. Needed to make Clinton's hair darker. I was going to first merge the faces together but after finding that Clinton photo I thought MIB!

Christopher Borra

Shouldn't the answer for the joke be "Weed, cuz it gets you rollin"? Just sayin

Goat da Stoner

what paul smokes dabs

Amerikan Wolf

Nice work bois

Dustin Conklin

Colorado is great, but even though the laws would suggest otherwise, the people are absolute shit. In Colorado Springs, anyway, I can't speak for the rest of the state. I've hypothesized that it's due to the altitude. The higher in altitude you get, the thinner the oxygen gets. What happens with lack of oxygen? Brain damage! These people are fucking retarded, and I can only assume it gets worse with altitude.

Phat Dildokhunty

Oh, shit! You guys used my picture for your shirt promo. Fuckin' nice! 😎👍

Super Pancake Man

Oh, come on a can of black spray paint could have at least blinded the killdozer. Had they realized the bulletproof windows for the cameras.

Christopher Borra

Universal basic income needs to be just that, universal, otherwise it is poison in the veins of society and damages class solidarity, just like welfare currently does.

Billy the Squid

I'm down for a general strike, but wait what about this killdozer?! O.O

Christopher Borra

I keep away from the new as much as possible. It makes me unhappy.

steven decke

That fucking sucks to think about the fact that we only have roughly 7000 years, or so, of recorded* history. And that we might be on the epoch of another mass extinction, in which we doom our own species. This must be what “The Great Filter” looks like in regards to contact with intelligent aliens. *recorded (as “written”, but not necessarily verifiable as fact).

Connor

Oh cool, I used to shop for weed at Strawberry Fields stores then I moved around a bit, and shop elsewhere. I can't sell weed, but I can hook ya up and give it away if you come here. At least until you get your own red card. The red card is the weed card. Just say headaches or some other pain. About $100 to get a card within 48 hours. However, you need to be a resident of Colorado which might take a month or three to establish.

Christopher Borra

Not a bad suggestion. We will look into it.

PESSIMIST PRODUCTIONS

Only 20 minutes in and my balls hurt for some odd reason.

Christopher Borra

Could you guys consider getting a second internet connection, each, with a router that can handle two internet connections at once so you can have less internet connection interruptions? With over 5.5K patrons you can afford it and will help the show quality. Also, a 10TB hard drive is like $200. Perfect for archiving all your works, if you haven't done that yet.

Christopher Borra

Right on

Dustin Conklin

Bout time!

Christopher Borra

Unscam situation..

Euthanasia

Finally.

Casen Snake Venom Cooke


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