Editing notes / Changes AH 795-800

Yeah thanks for taking care of Ilea and the story even this far in. Although you did seldom edit major things after posting here on patroen, I'm really glad you did take the time to keep 'the characters in character' and remove some logic leaps there. Still love you story and please keep having fun writing it. Cheers

Good changes all around. The two points really irked me: Aki sending Sentinels in the sub-100s on a scouting mission into a place where his lvl 200 Guardians have gotten killed made zero sense to me. He's way too protective of his wards for this, being a guardian is his entire essence of being now. Them going off on their own in a fit of hubris and overestimating their own capabilities fits much better and further emphasizes something that needed to happen sooner or later - the world is still a dangerous place, even if you were well-trained and even taught by Illea. A whole bunch of them have gotten way too full of themselves, and Illea herself also seemed way too gung-ho recently. Being a battle-maniac is one thing, but thinking yourself above danger (or at least able to escape anything) is something entirely different. Good that this got fixed up. Hopefully the Sentinels will learn something out of it. Illea embracing inhuman development, however temporary, still seems strange given how fervently against going down nonhuman paths she has been in the past, but it's more easily digestable when she goes into it knowing more about what it does and that she can control it. However, still kinda unfitting with her past character imho, but a lot better.

Narf

Excellent fixes. The whole sentinel girls team thing rubbed me the wrong way.

Endoria

Not a bad idea huh? ;P

Zarik0

I hope that Sentinels will adopt some great tradition to send off their fallen members and the way to remember them. Also to learn from failures and include it into training for new members. It would help with esprit de corps. Healing orders can see their low level members as expendable ones, but Sentinels are based around different values so I am looking forward to what they will learn from this.

Martin

I would realy dig some Sentinel dreadnought (à la Warhammer 40K) made with the soul forge. Would Ilea/Meadow/Aki/ Owl agree to give sentinels this option? Or maybe have some sentinels pick up soul magic to make Soul traps to keep the essence intact should any more losses occur. It would save a lot of lives (mainly because Ilea wouldn't lose her shit as much).

Woronve

Reminded me again why I like this story and author so much.Not many out there who would really listen to what redaers are saying and acting on it.

This is a fairly common practice in webnovel, authors like to read reactions. Write your theories, guesses, hopes, fears and most importantly - whining and then nonsense will change the world!

I like the change, get a little suggestion/idea maybe a good one for the author ;P Maybe add that they have a healer at all the end of their bad teleportation gate because they take damage using them so need heal all time you use them (and so maybe only the "hight level" human can use them) so we know really that its a organized and powerfull bunch who can do this and did it and that well they are still limitation for them and they still bad with this new tech and its cause them problem to build them and hard to use them and their new network :) Mmm we get soul magic in this world imagine if the sentinel with Aki and Meadow and the Lich have created a tech or a artifact for "save" Sentinel who activated the distress beacon and just died just before the help come (because soul stay a little no?), so they can still recup the soul and rebuild/heal, move it to a body for them (Aki new friend Pretorian Sentinel Corps) "One time a Sentinel, Always a Sentinel" "Even in Death, We Serve" If they fast enough with the help coming they still have some option to "save" them in some form when they recently died :P

Zarik0

these edits make more sense story-wise; glad you took the time. def will reread once again on RR

Arexio R.

yeah isn't it written somewhere that without meadow and that dark one smith the gates cant be replicated that easily cause security measures taken found it kinda odd that lets say even 5 year later they have not just 1 working gate but a whole network of unknown gates, if its tapping the same network couldn't they just use the same taleen teleport node scanner and see what was new, found it odd no one checked.

Bob

Also, I was ok with the previous arc, because no matter how powerful u are and how many bodies u have, not all deaths can be prevented. Ilea and Aki should realise that. So, that arc would have helped them come to this realisation. I would like to mention that Ilea has rarely lost close people. Given the kind of organization she has built it makes sense to lose a few.

I also have questions on the speed in which the gates got replicated. Although, I am unclear on exactly how long has passed after the gates were unveiled, it seems unlikely. The taleen technology was there for a millenia. Now , its true that Lana and Chris has done the enchantments, so someone should be able to copy them, but it had taken Meadow's help. Its like u can't take a motherboard apart and copy its technology, no matter how talented u are. It takes iterative modifications to get there. And highly competent space mages. I am not entirely sure how it can be done unless some really big players are helping in the shadows. Like Lillith, big

why not, um, an extra apology chapter? please kind sir? well, worth a try :D

Cirex123

Dang, this is weird. I feel heard. Love the changes

Christian Nweneka

Going to reread the chapter, seems like good changes to the story. Well done G!

Chad Hagner

Sounds like some nice changes.

StarWolf

Man, I didn't realize how much such a thing meant to me. Aki is officially back to a character I truly like!

Bryce

Thanks for the update! Nice to see you take the feedback so constructively!!!!! I think its way more in character now.

Justin

This feels much more in line with the story at large. Also has potential to help Ilea realize in a much more tangible way that she isn't just a girl punching monsters and helping her friends anymore. She is operating on a stage where brute force and some casual snark aren't going to cut it anymore. I fully realize half of her mad dash for power is to prepare for the possibility of an Ascended attack, but I really feel like this could be a the start of a great arc for her character.

Kale Daley

Im thinking of a certain scene from Spaceballs now. "Why didnt somebody tell me my ass was so big?!"

hill44

I didn't really have an issue with it before, but the changes do feel more in character, while also reiterating the long stated fact that those that rush to adventure usually die first, and that not everyone has Ilea's luck. So less a fuck up on Aki's part and more a cautionary tale for those chasing after Lilith's legend.

Blackmoon11

Now those two Sentinals are even more traumatized. Especially Mila.

White Neko Knight

This is much more believable, with the Sentinels feeling like they're fine to investigate without informing anyone - their own arrogance in their abilities and ignorance of potential issues, leading them to not have an actual stealth-specialized team deployed or even just a higher level team that could handle anything that would come up. Thank you for addressing it in such a smooth fix :-D

Andrew Meyers

Nice change. I didn't mind their deaths, though I did have a problem with the setup that got them there. This works better. Plus the destroyed guardians can be reintroduced as a plot point later.

Rick Baker

The changes all sound great! I wonder what the side effects from the shoddy gates are. Magic cancer? 😬

Lictor Magnus

You are both humble and skilled. Key signs in a master craftsman. Thank you for being so willing to listen!!

Grond (James)

I do plan to address that, yes.

G. Harthane

Oh sure, no worries. Criticism is always welcome and I hope it makes more sense now.

G. Harthane

This is better. It bugged me as soon as I read that their group was assigned that mission.

Keith

Thanks for the heads up. While i personally like these changes, hope you are doing fine after the huge reaction you got from 799 and 800.

Njordt

I liked it what i read previously but these are good changes

Morzul

The fact you make these little changes just makes the stories so much more immersive.

DierBloodRose

I personally think Aki did nothing wrong and that part shouldn’t have been changed. It’s nice that you hint that the new gates are worse than the Accords’ gates, but it still doesn’t make any sense whatsoever to me. Hopefully it’ll be explained in the future.

NethanielShade

Interesting on that last change with Aki and the Sentinels, I'm surprised the first response from a group of Sentinels when hearing about slave trade isn't "immediately contact Lilith" her standing on slavery is well known. But I can see them trying to be heroes and doing themselves for sure.

Signspace

795 edit: outfacilities to out facilities

Deathburn