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WarbyPicus
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Sky Pride Vol. 4 Chapter 19- The Difficulty of Simple Things

“This is a deathtrap!”

“It’s a pond, Brother Tian. A shallow one. Look, the crane is only up to her knees.”

“You wouldn’t believe the danger that lurks under the surface of ponds…” Tian muttered.

“In this case, I can see the bottom. So. You know. Get in the damn water.” Hong said, with sisterly warmth and encouragement.

Tian grumbled and started stripping off his robe.

“It suddenly occurs to me that I should mention you need to leave your loincloth on. With most people, I wouldn’t feel the need to mention that.” Hong added.

“That’s dumb. Then my clothes will be wet.”

“Change afterward. I’m not having you run around naked. Look, just treat it as the uniform for swimming, okay? No underwear equals breach of discipline by not fulfilling the dress code.” 

Tian blinked “Oh. That makes sense. Alright.”

He quickly stripped off the rest of his robes and neatly packed everything into his storage ring with no further discussion. He was so intent on it, he missed the look of divine revelation crossing Hong’s face, before she refocused and stripped down to her under-robe. Then she took another look at Tian.

“You are going to keep the bun up?”

“If I take the pin out, the hair will float around and get in my face. At least that’s what happens in the bath.”

“Huh. Makes sense now that you say it.” She shrugged. 

Tian stretched out an arm, examined it critically, and sighed. “Still so damn thin.”

“I’d call it athletic.”

“You haven’t seen my brothers in the bath. Trust me. I’m thin. One of these days, I’m going to be carried away by a high breeze.” Tian slapped his hands against his face to drive out the negative thoughts. 

“Well, being lighter will help you float, so there is that. Now all you are going to do is lie back. Just bend over backwards, and let yourself land on the surface of the water. I’m going to kneel here with my hands under you, so you physically can’t go under the water.” Hong kneeled down in the pond, not minding the mucky bottom. Nothing in there could possibly poke her hard enough to really hurt.

Tian trusted his sister. He leaned back and-

“Just how damned flexible are you?!”

“What? I’m leaning back.”

“Most people can’t lean back at ninety degrees from their waist. Do spines even bend that way?”

Tian sighed and, rather than argue, he lifted both feet up and went flat in the air. A second later he slapped into the surface of the water, and Hong’s waiting hands. 

“Good, good. Spread out your arms and legs. Wider. Good. Now. I’m going to lower my hands just a little, just a couple of inches, and you are going to float. Remember, you cannot possibly go under the water, so you have nothing to worry about.”

“Mmm. I’m not worried with you here.” 

He closed his eyes and focused on just floating, not seeing Liren’s suddenly poleaxed look. She shook that off too, and gently lowered her hands.

Tian sank down into the pond with her hands.

She raised them and tried again. And again.

“Sis’ Liren?”

“You aren’t floating.”

“I’m trying!”

“No, I know, but you really should be floating. At least a little bit. I’m not looking for perfection here, just… some amount of floating. And you aren’t. At all. How much do you weigh?”

“I don’t know. Where am I going to find a scale big enough to stand on?”

“Hang on, I’m going to lift you out of the water. I want to see something.” She stood, carrying Tian in her arms. She held him for a moment, then gently set him on the side of the pond.

“This is going to take some thinking. Brother Zihao, you weigh more than two hundred pounds. Which is a neat trick for someone who will never bang their head on a doorframe and has no visible fat on him.”

It was his body cultivation. Tian couldn’t imagine what else it could be. The Supreme Virtue Hell Suppressing Body Refining Sutra used yin qi to refine the fleshy body, and yang qi to refine his meridians, dantian and vital energy. It didn’t make his cultivation increase, it was just… dense. He could fight for longer and push harder than most. He was far stronger than he looked. And he was heavier too, it seemed. 

Swimming lessons were put on hold for a while. Using Light Body Heavy Hands while he was swimming seemed like the obvious answer, but it was an unsatisfying one. Little Treasure could swim a little. So could Censor Hanshen. Worst of all, Liren could swim like a fish, though she hated getting her head under the water. It shouldn’t require a light body art. 

It was another four days up the river to Golden Fields Town. Censor Hanshen explained that it was named after the fields of medical goldenrod that were cultivated in the area. There were rice farms too, of course, but the goldenrod was what made the town prosperous.

The docks here were less busy than at Bluestone City, but you could still feel the energy of the merchants moving up and down the river. They rushed ashore, running to meet buyers or sellers as their laborers unloaded heavy burlap sacks filled with who knows what. The smell of river water lay under the smell of tarred rope and sweaty men. 

The sun showered its fiery qi on the world, as the yin river cooled it. The townsfolk caught in the middle could only wipe the back of their neck with bright linen handkerchiefs, fan themselves with bamboo fans and complain about the humidity.

The crane had long since flapped away. Locals with nets and arrows couldn’t hurt her, but they could annoy the hell out of her, and Tian had some very close calls keeping her from killing fishermen looking for a little side income. Crane feathers brought in a tidy sum, and the meat was considered both medicinal and a minor delicacy. 

He had to remind himself it would be hypocritical to burn down the feather merchant’s shops just because he was friends with one particular crane. He did think about it, though.

“Where is the inn?” Hong asked a passing laborer. Who clearly didn’t recognize an immortal traveling incognito because he responded with a quite complicated gesture and a quite simple expletive. 

Hong let it slide. Tian nodded slightly, and then directed her attention to the actually important thing.

“Look, Sis’, a tea house. Let’s go get some tea and snacks. Look at Little Treasure and Censor Hanshen. They look miserable. Definitely in need of tea and snacks.”

“Haah. Alright. Why this one? You aren’t usually this excited about tea houses.”

“Don’t you smell that?” The aroma was faint, but Counterjumper picked it out of the air. 

“Nope.”

“Good tea. And there is a Level Five of the earthly realm in there. We can get some local news.”

The whole party paused when they walked in and heard the sound of an erhu. Fortunately, the musician was a stout woman who believed the music sounded better if you stared at the audience like they owed you money. Not a hint of immortal qi on her. 

The qi was coming from a man sitting in a corner, enjoying an eight sided table all by himself. Hong raised her hand in greeting, and the man stood, bowed, and invited them to his table. 

“Three Falls Temple Li Qiang greets the two fellow daoists. Please, join me. I had just ordered a pot of tea and some snacks.”

Tian and Hong exchanged a look and a microscopic shrug. Tian stretched out his hand and displayed his storage ring. With a small flex of energy, a tiny picture of a crane silhouetted against a vast mountain emerged from the dull metal. “Ancient Crane Monastery, Tian Zihao. This is my Sister, Hong Liren. Thank you for your hospitality.”

He didn’t introduce Little Treasure or Censor Hanshen, and Li Qiang was sensible enough not to ask.

“It is my pleasure. Fellow Daoists are in luck. Drifting Fragrance Teahouse is the best there is in forty miles in either direction up and down the Agate. Better still, they just got in a fresh delivery of Cloudy Dawn Tea. A small regional specialty of ours.”

Tian and Li quickly fell into easy conversation over a shared love of tea. Hong kept up with the conversation, gently steering it to unimportant matters like bandits or heretics or journey-interrupting landslides. 

“The only major threat around here is the Five Poisons Cult. Which isn’t much of a cult, if I am honest. More of a gang with a theme. Their strength is real, though. At the very least, I’m not about to pick a fight with them. Heretics? Not… in the sense you mean, I think. But I guess that’s debatable. I certainly wouldn’t call their practice orthodox.”

Tian mentally translated that as “I’m afraid they are hearing this, somehow, and will murder me if I mark them as heretics to cultivators from the Monastery, who have a well known ‘Kill On Sight’ policy for heretics.” Tian could understand that. 

Li Qiang was the sort of middling cultivator that you got in places like this. His cultivation art and natural talents were good enough to get him to level five, but reaching level nine wasn’t even a dream by now. He would live to be a hundred and fifty or so, with luck and care. For now, he would live in the world as best he could.

The conversation kept coming back to tea. Taste, aroma, how it grew on different mountains, and the different ways one could brew it. The skillful tea service that Tian practiced was only one of innumerable ways, each with their strengths and weaknesses. For example, the number of people that could be served from a lidded cup would always be very few, and it was intended to require the full effort and attention of the maker. There must be more efficient ways- and there were.

“Waiter, bring a kettle of hot water! Daoist Tian, I want you to try something. Tea resin.”

“What is that”

Daoist Li pulled out little black cubes. He dissolved a pair of them directly in the kettle, then poured out steaming hot cups of tea a bare minute later. Fragrant, juicy, a hint of astringency, it wasn’t the best red tea he had ever drunk, but it was miles better than he would have believed possible for two little black chunks of resin.

He decided that he would call on Daoist Li later today, and invite him for a proper tea service. Finding people who enjoyed tea was common. Finding a real tea friend was rare. It would be nice to make a new tea friend.

“Daoist Li could I trouble you to show me-”

Hong coughed and looked towards the door. Tian used his perception art.

“Sorry, Daoist Li. About how many members does the Five Poison Cult have?”

“They are secretive, but I believe in excess of six cultivators and a hundred or more lay members.”

“Your numbers are a bit short. I count ten outside.” Hong was deceptively calm. Killing the enemy wasn’t going to be a problem. Stopping them from taking Hanshen and Little Treasure was. 

“I’m sorry, Daoist Li. I will have to trouble you to keep an eye on my mortal friends. Censor Hanshen, mind Little Treasure. Little Treasure, don’t run around. Big Sis and I are going to have a word with the people outside. It’s likely to be quite a firm word. Don’t leave from the front door until I say. I’d hate for you to ruin your shoes.”

The street emptied fast. Ten men dressed in black, with black hoods covering their heads. Each practically bristling with poorly concealed hidden weapons. Tian sniffed lightly. They did have a faint medicinal smell, but you wouldn’t really suspect poison. Better than they looked, then.

One of the men spoke, cold voiced and high handed. Level eight.

“The Burning Heavens Cranes, Hong Liren, Tian Zihao and the Snow Empress. The crane is already in our grasp, and soon will be in our wok. You two will get similar treatment. In Hell.”

Comments

I know there is no romance tag, and more importantly they are still kids, but once they are older I will ship with all my might

Philldoran

As someone with negative buoyancy I never figured out why others found swimming relaxing as a child.

Mr. tj333

Huh. So, the strong, tanned, powerful cultivator pulled the trusting, jade-skinned beauty out of the pond, too weak to swim alone. Wow, the Emperor sure had a way with his concubines :)

Yair Ron

I read that last part and immediately thought “Ah,he’s went and done it now”

Gerald Ransom Jr

Tian the Snow Empress lol

darkmuch

Oh he’s dead… so incredibly dead… 💀

atmosphericturtle

As befits a sect with the esteemed founding grand elders Diǎn Yì, Yìwén and Xuělí.

Misatek

Honostly Macro you can't comment on others writing like an average guy. You need another account so that no one can tell it is you. This feels like I'm standing in line to go see bruce and then realize the person infront of me is mick jagger. I'm all giggly and shit

Hampus Steinvall

Something tells me that the "baddies" are not going to like how Liren and Tian are going to respond to this. Especially since I'm expecting it to be some variant of general amusement coupled with mild interest at the name they have been given. I could even see Tian sincerely and politely trying to correct them that, "no", we are not members of this, "Burning Heavens Cranes" sect you mention, we are from the "Ancient Crane Monastery". However it plays out, I feel confident that hilarity is about to ensue. Also, Tian is absolutely going to make them hurt for even thinking about harming the Crane.

FeyOne

It’s basically what is described. You look like you got hit with a pole axe typically shocked/surprised.

Kain

Negative buoyancy! I know a guy with it. He of course obstinately took up iron man competitions forcing himself to swim a lot. But yeah, he naturally just sinks. He had a back injury and went for hydrotherapy and had to keep reminding the people he wouldn’t float 😂😅 TFTC!

Tom C

What is a pole axed look

Amadeus Grim

Oh jeez... they dun fucked up.

Logrus

Probably head down, don't make a scene and will continue to live type of scenario.

Duck_Giblets

'The street emptied fast. Ten men dressed in black, with black hoods covering their heads. Each practically bristling with poorly concealed hidden weapons. Tian sniffed lightly. They did have a faint medicinal smell, but you wouldn’t really suspect poison. Better than they looked, then.' When I read this, i honestly expected him to kill the rearmost one with his invisible darts mid- paragraph, and gently lower him to the ground, or i guess keep him standing up, before the other guy even started talking. I think it was the invitation for the audience to compare his hidden weapons to theirs that triggered that thought.

Macronomicon

The whole sinking in the pond reminded me of a story my grandfather would tell about when he joined the Marines. He had grown up lean on a farm, but could swim just fine, so there was no problem until he got to the float test. He had so little body fat he just sunk like a stone lol. I love how many revelations Hong has about her brother, she fights by his side all the time, but seeing both the level of trust he has in her and his flexibility seems to have been equally shocking. I also like her realization that he is still a shamless wilding, he just follows the rules to make his brothers and sisters happy. Burning Heavens Cranes goes so hard as a nickname lol

Noroh

200 pound can indeed float, assuming it is less dense than water. A 1 ton log floats down river, a 1 ounce jade sinks in the same. Tian practices a wood cultivation art but his body is like jade.

Noroh

I think getting the snow empress wouldn't be too challenging - a few spirit fish in a box would suffice to draw her in. Now *keeping* the snow empress once she runs out of those fish is another matter

Jacob Diver

The Frost Tea of the Air Zone may be unorthodox, but it is cultivated by those with high merit and immaculate dao - to deem them heretics is a disservice to the noble art of tea

Jacob Diver

Burning Liren Heaven Tian and Crane the Crane. Don't know if thats a imaginative nick name or rather blunt lol.

Abhi

Eventually Tian is going to run into heretical tea aficionados. Arnie Palm-er technique. Long clan’s Island Tea. Air Zone Frost Tea. The Lip Tong’s Tea.

Aaron Weingrad

I mean I would be ok with the crane sorting out poachers herself

ioajfidsnmfomds77

Real question is if that Li guy was legit or if he was one of the bandits.

Abhi

I mean then you have to explain why its the rules but yeah. Its better for all

Veridescent

Pshaw a mere 200 pounds is nothing. All he needs to do is to carefully control his muscles to shift his center of gravity such that he can float. ...Which light body and heavy hands can help with actually if in the opposite way than he was thinking. I am trying to recall aspects with resins. I feel you could do a lot of things with qi by integrating layers of parts into saps or even gels from insects and bones to combine effects in a way that in some ways seems quite akin to Tians body cultivation and note on cultivation techniques. Accumulation weighted and grouped.

Veridescent

I call bullshit that they got the snow empress; unless of course these goons are better than the usual rabble around the Agate.

Andrew Gonzalez

Honestly such a wonderful mistake for the bandit to say

Rnd per

quite literally dense it turns out xD

Doubledoor

“I’d hate for you to ruin your shoes.” Damn.

Steve Wright

Noooo! Princess!

Julia

“Mmm. I’m not worried with you here.” He closed his eyes and focused on just floating, not seeing Liren’s suddenly poleaxed look. She shook that off too, and gently lowered her hands. Hmmm....I'm beginning to think that Liren's heart demon may have less to do with the fact that society doesn't see her as a desirable woman and more to do with one very dense boy....

William Johnson

They dun fucked up

Penned

The crane

Al

Thanks for the chapter. I think they might have made Tian angry…

Raymond Mouton

Who is the Snow Empress? The bandits listed out 3 people there... I mean, I guess we'll find tomorrow, still curious as to who it could be or why they think she's a part of their party.

Zenopath (AEV)

Crane Law demands swift death!

BaguaBrady

Actually courting death.

N . A Salim

Shouldn't have threatened the crane.

WolfWithAGun

Realizing that all the arguments you've had in your life could have been solved by, "thems the rules" must have hit pretty hard.

Thomas Lawless

Their squad got a name?! “The Burning Heavens Cranes” goes so hard, but especially when compared to the rest of that villain intro. “The crane is already in our grasp, and soon will be in our wok.” Lol.

Dillon

I absolutely thought this is what it meant. Liren has just found the best way to get our boy to do what she wants

Dessico

She needs a new stand to t pose on like a pile of heretic skulls

Alexander Dupree

NO! Not T-Pose Crane!

Dash of Salt

The burning heaven cranes is an awesome name. These guys done fucked up.

JTP

In the genderbent words of Garrus. She's got reach but he's not flexibility.

Robert Mullins

And it looks like the heretics put a bounty on them specifically if they're known by name.

Robert Mullins

People are interpreting the "divine revelation" comment to mean Liren is "down bad". I think this is possible, but it may also be that she just realized she could have been using the "propriety" argument for pretty much everything before now and it could have worked. Instead she only used it just now to get him to keep clothes on.

Al

Oh she’s realized he’s good looking now lol

Chris Fey

Tian make me laugh out loud. The first thing I read is "its a death trap" only to find out he is talking about the kiddies pool version of a pond.

Endgame

Liren so down bad she's probably regretting the loin cloth comment.

Robert Mullins


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