Twitter comics rant #1: THE ACTION SMIRK, AND WHY I HATE IT

So. 

Once upon a time, I used to rattle off lengthy rants about various comics-related topics on Twitter. Wellp, figured I might as well collect some of those rants as Patreon text posts. Here's a rather old diatribe, dealing with an aspect of action storytelling that remains a perennial problem in comics. In short: STOP SMIRKING.

(Er, hope you'll pardon the Twitter ALL CAPS emphasis, which I suppose I could've swapped out for italics in this format. Ehh, I'm going to do a lot of these, so I'll leave the original formatting mostly intact for the time being.) 

Just read a comic-book fight scene of a smirking heroine effortlessly dueling with Some Hapless Goon. The action (if you can call it that) was bland, tension-free, dishwater-dull.  SCREW THAT.

Is it "empowering" for the heroine—or hero, for that matter—to be utterly nonchalant about the fight she's in? Maybe; but it's also BORING.

Gimme a fight scene with energy, exertion, desperation, intensity; in short, people behaving like their lives might actually be in danger.

Even if you won't depict a brutal, bloody, realistic fight scene, why not at least PRETEND that the characters are invested in the action? 

Give fighting characters expressions of alarm (or at least CONCERN), showing that they actually care about the action they're experiencing.

Blank faces or happy smiles—or worse, the dreaded SMIRK—in the face of intense conflict (even of the G-rated sort) add absolutely NOTHING to your action storytelling.

Expressions of rage/fright/anxiety in a fight scene not only show the hero invested in the action, but show that the READER should be, too.

If your heroine is visibly unconcerned about the violence she's facing, why the hell would the reader be concerned on her behalf?

In Jackie Chan's best fight scenes, he's alarmed, frantic, anxious, palpably desperate; he is ALL IN, and so are you, watching him.

Tension-free fight scenes with a nonchalant hero(ine) easily plowing through enemies? No consequences, no stress, no narrative value.

Note that, in many Jackie Chan fights, he DOES actually plow through a heap of foes; the process, however, is shown to be arduous & intense.

The best Jackie Chan action riffs are as much chase scene as fight scene: Frenzied, visibly alarmed Jackie on the run, fighting for his life.

Even if your hero(ine) isn't really fighting for his or her life, at least show that she's concerned and involved with the action taking place. 

Not a big fan of "God-mode-Batman", with the Dark Knight depicted as tireless and invincible, effortlessly beating down endless hordes.

If you want your Batman to be functionally unbeatable, then why not just put pointy ears on Superman and be done with it?

Batman with actual human limitations, thinking with more than his Batfists: Less of a power fantasy, but potentially much more compelling.

Invincible hero(ine): An effective power fantasy ("HE'S SO BADASS HERP DERP"), but invariably ineffective as immersive action storytelling. 

Where's the tension, the pressure, the narrative weight in a scene of Invincible Protagonist casually defeating dozens of hapless toughs?

In most fight scenes vs. Enemy Hordes, the Badass Hero(ine) might as well be playing a game of "How Many Third Graders Can You Beat Up?"

Hey, that's unfair to 3rd graders! In most Hero vs. Horde fights, the massed enemies might as well be kindergarteners in SWAT gear. (Or toddlers.)

Gotta admit, Hero vs. Horde fights are perfect for the unskilled action storyteller; just show random shots of Faceless Horde guys getting punched.

Pit your protagonist against only a few foes, and you might have to do some real storytelling, work up fight choreography, etc. BUT THAT'S HARD 

What exactly is the point of pitting an Invincible Heroine against massed enemies? Why would we be impressed by that, when she can't possibly lose? 

In the story, Invincible Hero is seldom LITERALLY invincible; the fact that The Script Is On His Side is what makes him practically unbeatable.  Plot Armor ahoy!

Just occurred to me: The Invincible Action Hero and Invincible Action Heroine are two sides of the same (narratively weak and crappy) coin.

Invincible Action Hero: Pure, blustery, macho-posturing power fantasy; little boy's idea of the Stone-Cold Ultimate Badass, the Hulk but less realistic.

Invincible Action Heroine: Effortlessly triumphant heroine = as much a fantasy as the male type, but not as blustery or macho-posturing. (Sometimes more smug, though.)

Go screw, blasé Invincible Action Hero(ine). Show me an striving protagonist who has to put effort/sweat/thought/intensity into her action.

Most would say that you need character development to set up good action scenes, that the reader must CARE about what happens to the heroine.

True, but especially well-done action scenes can stand on their own, gripping viewers through sheer creativity & energy. (See: Asian cinema.) 

Asian action film tangent: Often, I don't care how Jackie/Jeeja/Tony Jaa got to the fight; I DO care about the spectacular action that ensues.

ABRUPT END OF RANT