ALTGS 38

There were some things that simply should not be said. Some things that you shouldn’t bring attention to. There are things that, once you become aware of, you can never ignore ever again.

To Celestria, there really weren’t a huge amount of things like this. In fact, prior to two days ago, there had been nothing at all like that. Topics and conversations that couldn’t be unheard or forgotten...

No, that wasn’t entirely true. There were many of them. Very many.

For the second night in a row, sleep nimbly evaded her. Lying in the covers in the dead of night, Celestria was close to tears now. She’d been tossing and turning for hours now. Had she even managed to catch a bit of sleep? Well, she didn’t really know, but all she knew was that she was meant to be ASLEEP now. Not staring at her dark ceiling, wishing that something smacked her over the head so that she was no longer awake.

Immediately after the banquet at Lady Bishmont, things had quickly started to roll. Tea party invitations, letters of friendliness and plenty more. There were suddenly many people that wanted to talk to her. People that wanted to cozy up and feign camaraderie. Really, she didn’t mind that. That was excellent, in fact. The party had been like a litmus test for them. Should we approach her, or should we not? Now, their question was answered. Such relationships were clear and their purpose was defined. It was all a matter of exchanging. What could she get from someone, and what could someone get form her? Those kinds of things, she liked.

But what she did not like were implications. Indeed, it was true that one could argue that all her actions up until this point focused on implications. Before the night Lord came down and changed everything, Celestria had been an ordinary lady. Not at all notable, not at all sought-after. Just one of the many faces in the crowd. But being a truly ordinary lady was... boring. It was so unbelievably dull. If anything, her duty at social gatherings was to be one of the many cogs that propagated gossip about far more important ladies in society. Immediately after her debut, she had become mind-numbingly bored. So Celestria decided to... dabble.

Turning for the millionth time, wiggling and fumbling to make her pillow comfortable enough to hopefully lure sleep, Celestria shut her eyes with a frown. She still remembered the first time she had played her games. It was at an ordinary party. Nothing really very high-profile at all. What had she worn? Who had she sat with? Those things, she couldn’t remember. But she did remember that she had happened to read some report she had seen in her father’s office some days prior. It was about the Palidian states and how they’d finally coming to a resolution from their decades-long war. It wasn’t definite yet, but the observers from Fortane had sited some signs that the country would know peace very soon. So she had done a little bit of light research, and discovered that the Palidian states were unexpectedly rich in salt deposits.

Now, the simple fact of the matter was that Celestria hated ice. It was all fun and games to play in the snow and have a good time when winter came around, but the inconveniences of the established roads icing over and creating dangerous situations whenever someone wanted to travel was bothersome. So all she did was draw some common knowledge from her previous life and spin a funny little tale of how one of the commoners that she had accidentally met had mentioned rock salt mixed with water was excellent for pretreating roads, and if that was done, then the roads wouldn’t freeze over. And then finally, nonchalantly mention it to the opportunistic daughter of some Marquis. Before she knew it, Fortane had opened tradings with the Palidian states for rock salt, and that Marquis’ family was credited for formulating an ingenious tactic to keep trading routes functional during winter.

That had been the first time she had played in the game of implications. And it had not been the last. It was easy. No, beyond easy. Because she was just a cog in society, nobody thought to take a deep look at what Celestria said. The only concern was that she said it to the right person and said it in such a way that her target would not forget about it. Most times, it meant making them think that the idea was theirs. But it always worked in the end. And that’s how Celestria had found her personal enjoyment in the social world.

But now, she had learned that she had been making unintentional implications. Implications that were very directly tied to her and her alone.

The Duke and her...

She honestly couldn’t help but snidely laugh!

But she couldn’t do it for long.

If there was one thing she refused, with her whole body and soul to engage in, it was the messy business of romance.

People’s feelings were so ambiguous, yet so strong and dangerous. In the world they lived in, her simply attracting the wrong man’s attention would be more than enough to ruin her entire life in the best case, and ruin her entire family in the worst case. With a cynical smile, she rolled onto her back. So she had returned to staring at the ceiling. And her chest was growing numb and uncomfortable.

Those feelings had been the precursor to her downfall in her previous life.

The prelude of ruin for Nadine Halle.

If she had managed her emotions properly, then would things be different? Yes. If she had been careful in showing such a huge weakness, then those who held ill intentions wouldn’t have found a way to ruin Nadine.

That disgusting feeling of regret was washing over her now, engulfing her like a sea of viscous goo. No. Forget Nadine. Forget what was before. Now, there is only Celestria. And those previous mistakes will not be repeated.

Sighing, Celestria sat up, defeated and finally coming to terms with the fact that she simply would not catch an ounce of sleep any time soon. Oh, how she wished the Duke had kept his mouth shut. How she wished that as a woman, the logical actions that she took would not be washed with the strong overtones of “romance” or “courtship” or whatever ridiculous sensationalist stories bored people wanted to hear.

Now that she knew, now that she was aware, it was no longer a beast she could continue to happily ignore. She would have to nip it in the bud. With that, she walked to her desk and found the matchsticks to light a candle. Once that was done, she procured a pen and paper, and began to pen a letter. One that would hopefully end the implications that society would be hellbent on misconstruing.