"Legal Reasons" - takes place between S4E3 and S4E4

Robin arrived at the house shortly after the dinner hour, worse luck.

He found Leo first, wandering the formal garden with a preoccupied look on his face. Robin considered jumping him, but thought better of it. He’d probably get a knife in his neck before Leo realised who it was.

Still, he couldn’t help but indulge in a little bit of drama.

‘Psst!’ he hissed, sticking his head out from behind a box hedge.

Leo flinched, and then grabbed him into a hug.

‘Glad you could make it’ he said dryly, having released Robin from his death grip. Robin shrugged.

‘Well, you know how these things are, Captain Collins. Daring escapes, sneaking around the place, trying to restrain a grumpy horse who knows she’s nearly home...’ Leo rolled his eyes.

‘Such hardship, Waverley! Whereas all we had were multiple house fires and Lady Rosamund getting knocked senseless rescuing people from the stables!’

‘Is she-’

‘She’s fine, it was just...’ Leo made a face, and ran a hand through his hair. ‘Never mind. Stay here, I’ll deal with the horses and then I’ll go find out what I should do with you.’

‘I do need to stay out of sight.’ Robin admitted. ‘And once guests start arriving, so do you.’ Leo frowned.

‘You’ve been here before. Where’s the most out-of-the-way spot?’

‘Within the house? The Rose Room, probably. It’s part of an odd add-on to the main building and there’s only one way up to it.’

‘That’s where...’ Leo shook himself. ‘Fine. I’ll go talk to her Ladyship.’

‘You mean your lady wife?’

‘Shut up.’

****

Leo poured himself wine as Robin tucked into his dinner, and for the next few minutes the silence in the Rose Room stretched out comfortably.

While he took the worst of the edge off his hunger, Robin pondered the significance of the sentence, ‘I’ll go and talk to her Ladyship.’

That wasn’t for his benefit, Robin was sure. And that was even more formal than previously, when Leo could at least stretch himself as far as ‘Lady Rosamund.’ That didn’t bode well for the state of marital relations.

Still, Robin Waverley prided himself on impeccable comic timing. Which was why he waited until Leo had taken a large mouthful of wine before asking, ‘So, has Rosy deflowered you yet? So to speak?’

The wine went everywhere. Robin, satisfied that he hadn’t lost his touch, waited patiently while his friend finished aspirating his drink.

Eventually Leo, trying very hard not to dwell on any of the images the question had forcibly shoved into his head, managed to choke out, ‘I’m sorry, what part of “marriage of political convenience” escaped you?’

Robin frowned. ‘The part where you’re still required to consummate it to make it valid.’

Leo froze. ‘Wait. What? It's a political marriage, surely-’

Robin shook his head, smiling ruefully. ‘You know, I sometimes forget you’re not a...a...’

‘Posh boy like you?’ Leo grunted, recognising the tone.

‘Posh boy like me,’ he agreed affably. ‘Leo…it’s still a marriage. There are...contractual obligations.’

Leo swallowed, and opened his mouth. No sound came out.

Robin, who was probably enjoying this more than was really healthy, took pity on him. Eventually. ‘Of course, officially speaking, the marriage only has to be consummated within the first year, and it’s unlikely that anyone is going to check.’ 

He shrugged, and started in on a chicken leg. ‘But you’ve met Rosy, she’s scrupulously honest. She will absolutely try and seduce you at some point very soon to validate the marriage.’ He looked down. ‘So...’ now he looked uncomfortable, which, Leo reflected, at least meant that misery had company, ‘be kind to her, please? I don’t think she’s coping terribly well with the news that Hugo was murdered, and I don’t think this,’ he waved his hands in Leo’s direction, ‘would have been my solution to her inheritance problems.’

The pair fell silent, Robin chewing, Leo sipping his wine. Carefully.

‘She…’ Leo trailed off, uncomfortable, and Robin schooled himself to patience. Captain Collins, he knew from experience, was not much of a talker, and sometimes you just had to hold your tongue until he thought through what to say.

‘She still recites the Litany for the Dead for Hugo,’ Leo mumbled finally, looking down at the floor. ‘Every day, and I’ve heard her in the middle of the night sometimes when she can’t sleep.’

Robin grimaced in sympathy. Leo set his plate aside and sat on the bed, scrubbing his hands through his hair. ‘This is a mess.’

‘Do you love her?’ Robin ventured, and then grinned when Leo’s head snapped up. ‘Actually don’t answer that, Captain Collins, it’s all over your face.’

Leo groaned, and buried his head in his hands.

‘Well then,’ Robin continued, without a trace of sympathy, ‘that solves that problem.’

‘What problem exactly?’ Leo muttered, face hidden in his hands again.

‘The marriage problem. Because I’m reasonably sure she’s in love with you.’

‘Robin, you JUST SAID-‘

‘I know what I said’ Robin replied comfortably, setting aside his own plate so he could relax onto the bed, ‘but I’ve seen how she looks at you. She used to look at Hugo like that. So the fact that you’re obviously, painfully in love with her,’ he held up a hand, ‘please don’t insult my intelligence by denying it, is ideal from my perspective.’

‘Because?’

‘Because you married her, idiot, which solves at least some of her problems in the short to medium term. But you also love her, and she could grow to love you, and she’s one of my best friends, and I want her to be happy.’ Leo was silent, but then, Robin thought, that was basically his default state anyway. He'd at least given the younger man something to think about.

Duty done, he looked around the violently pink room again. ‘I take it we’re in here for the duration?’

‘I can’t promise you a great variety of views,’ Leo said apologetically, ‘but this seems to be the furthest room from everything, so as long as someone remembers to feed and water us, we’re probably not going to be spotted and arrested. Probably.’

‘Ah, how I’ve missed your indefatigable optimism, Captain Collins.’ Robin closed his eyes. ‘Wake me if the world ends, won’t you? It’s been a long day.’ Leo squeezed his eyes shut.

Legal reasons.

Be kind to her.

He was in very serious trouble.