Mined Games chapter 21

My stomach was turning as I walked home. I didn’t know why. I had no reason to be afraid. I was just going to talk to my dad. But I had the most terrifying queasy feeling. Like something was going to end. Like something was going to be ruined. I kept replaying moments from my childhood, picking out random moments out of context and coming to horrifying conclusions based on them, then throwing them out and picking again.

It was like I was reaching into a barrel and pulling out poisonous snakes, they squirmed in my grip, none of them the one I was looking for, but they each bit me as I pulled them out, the venom was mixing and becoming worse and worse. I couldn’t stop theorizing, coming up with insane stories.

I arrived at the house in what felt like seconds. The fear of what I would hear made the trip seem instant, and when I knocked on the door and my dad opened, I was too insensate from the gnawing fear to even speak.

There was something wrong with me. Dalton had said it, Alec had mentioned it, and it explained so much. The looks, the sneers, the disgust. I’d spent so long thinking it was my deficiency, that my lack of sensitivity made me an outcast. But it wasn’t that. Not really. And everyone important knew it.

My dad didn’t ask, he just looked at me sadly as I stared at him and let him inside. We sat down at the table, and he waited for my head to clear. When it did, I tried to speak, but my voice was hoarse, my throat too dry. He stood up and got me a glass of water and handed it to me. I took a long sip, and after my throat was feeling better, I looked him dead in the eye and asked. “What’s wrong with me?”

He just sighed, shaking his head. “I knew it was coming. That you would find out some day. Being weak was such a blessing, really, an easy way to make sure you were never around anyone who might know. I kept them from spreading it around.” At my insistent stare the let out a long breath. “Fine. What do you remember about your childhood?”

I shrugged. “I’ve been going over it to figure things out, but I don’t know why people would think of me like some abomination. I had a nice childhood. It was just you and me and mom. We spent every day together, we’d play games and do puzzles and sometimes you guys would read to me.”

Nodding, he waited for me to finish. “Why?” I raised an eyebrow and he elaborated. “Why was it just us? Why didn’t we ever go outside? Why didn’t your mother ever leave the house?”

That…that was odd. I hadn’t thought about that before but it was true. Mom never went out. She was always home with me. I was a kid so that felt reasonable, but thinking back it was more than that. I never saw her go through the front door. She never left the house even once.

“Was mom…sick?” I asked slowly. “Did she have a disease or something? Do I have it too?” Was that why she died? I wanted to ask. But didn’t. Couldn’t bring myself to say it.

He shook his head. “No, nothing like that.” He paused. “Well…sort of. Your mother had the same deficiency you did, but it meant something different where she was from. When she was young, she was discovered to be missing a key trait of her mana ability, and because of it she was shunned by her family. She left home and traveled, and that was how we met.”

“Wait…mom had low sensitivity too?” I blinked at that. “I mean, that’s bad, but if that’s it I don’t see why anyone woul-”

He cut me off. “No. Your mother wasn’t missing her mana sensitivity. She was missing mana CAPACITY.” He stared at me hard after he said that, his face grim as he revealed what was probably one of his biggest secrets.

I frowned. “Yeah, nobody has capacity. Humans don’t express that mana trait, it’s why we condense. The only people who care about capacity are El-” I froze. Elves. Of the three traits of mana usage, humans specialized in sensitivity, Demons in tolerance, and Elves in mana capacity.

“Mom was an…Elf?” I asked in a whisper. Elves were…monsters. Elves had enslaved us all for centuries, used humans as workers and servants. They’d abused us and tormented us, and it wasn’t until the first kings of humanity had developed the earliest condensation formulas that we had developed the power to overthrow them and break free.

That meant that I was HALF Elf. No wonder they seemed so disgusted. Humanity hated Elves. We’d been at war with them for generations. The elven kingdoms had been engaging in small battles with us every few decades for as long as I could remember. Even in Edgebank we had people who had lost sons and brothers to the Elves.

My dad nodded. “She was. Sophia was born in a situation much like the one you have. Her father was a Duke in one of the elven kingdoms, but Sophia was born with nearly no mana capacity. That would have been fine, she could have been locked away or ignored if that was it, but instead of capacity she was born with a truly monstrous amount of mana tolerance.”

I sucked my teeth in sympathy. Tolerance. The ability to express mana from the body without tools. Demon casting. If humanity hated Elves more than anyone, the Elves hated the Demons. Elves were bad neighbors, almost universally, and they didn’t like having to share. They’d tried to invade the Demon kingdoms almost non stop for centuries even before the human rebellion only to be beaten back every time.

My dad nodded. “Of course, that happens sometimes. Someone will be born with a different trait. But for it to happen to a noble’s daughter? Rumors started to spread. People claiming her mother had dallied with a Demon. Calling her Demonspawn. Her life was hell there, and eventually she ran away.”

“How did you meet her?” I asked quietly. I could understand what things must have been like for her. Probably a lot like they’d been for me.

“In the forest.” He said with a small smile. “The Rourke family is a relatively large one in the capital. When I was a teenager I went out on a hunting trip in the forests outside the city walls. She’d gotten lost and wandered into human territory. Had been walking for weeks. Sophia had an awful sense of direction. She could get lost in a broom closet.”

I chuckled a bit at that. I hadn’t known that about her. She’d never left the house. She had nowhere to get lost. “So how did you end up here from there?”

He shrugged. “Long story. I’m a powerful mage, at least for these parts. For the capital I was middling. I’m at the Magician rank. Edgebank’s Duke needed someone to help him keep a handle on the city, and I’m massively overqualified. In exchange for becoming the head of his secret police he offered us sanctuary.”

Secret police. And a MAGICIAN. Dad was as strong as the fucking GUILD MASTER. “Wh-what happened to mom?” I asked, my voice shaking. Knowing all this, the story I’d been told seemed…off.

His hands tightened on the edge of the table, and I heard the wood creak. “When you were young, we had you tested, to find out what your dominant mana trait was. When we found out was tolerance…” He trailed off. “That was Sophia’s nightmare. Knowing you would go through the same thing she did.”

My eyes widened in horrified realization. “The mana sensitivity drugs she was taking…she was using herself as a test subject. She was trying to find a way to increase my sensitivity.”

His eyes started to glitter with tears, though his voice didn’t change. “Olivia didn’t know. She thought Sophia was interested in a research project. She was the shop girl at the apothecary back then. She would talk to Sophia when she dropped off potions for me. Her only friend. She had no idea Sophia was taking them. Not until it was too late.”

My own tears were falling like rainwater, but I wasn’t making a sound, just trying to process. “So…where do I go from here? I’m half Elf. I can’t fix that. Don’t even know how to feel about it. What do I even do with this information?”

He gave a sad shrug. “Nothing. That’s why I never told you. My position affords me certain…protections. They extend to you, I made sure of it. It’s why most of the city doesn’t know about your heritage. There were a few major families made aware, they weren’t supposed to tell anyone, but it seems like some of the children are less…discrete than I might like.” The table creaked again. “I’ll have words with them. Who brought it up?”

I hesitated a bit but…fuck Dalton. “Dalton Rouder. You’re not going to like…kill him, are you?” If he was a Magician he could probably get away with that. I didn’t want Dalton to die though, not just for being a dick.

Dad gave a sardonic laugh. “No. I won’t touch him. I’ll just put the fear of the Duke into his family, and let them handle things for me. I’ve clearly been far too amicable lately, if they feel the need to rattle cages like this.”

Staring down at the table, I felt a confusing mix of emotions, but chief among them…was guilt. “So, you’ve been protecting me all this time. That’s why you’re never home. You’re out working. Running the Duke’s secret police? All those things I said to you…”

“Were true.” He cut me off sharply. “I did abandon you. I left you to fend for yourself when I should have taken care of you. I trusted Olivia to help, and she did, but she isn’t your parent. I am. I had a job. I failed to do it properly. You were right to be angry.”

My eyes blazed with fury. “Yeah, well I’m SICK of it. Sick of being angry. Of resenting you. You don’t get to decide what you deserve for fucking up. I do. And I say I want things to get better between us. So you better just shut up and accept that.”

The tears in his eyes fell faster as he threw back his head and laughed. “Gods boy, if you don’t remind me of your mother at the strangest times. Fine then. I suppose I have to receive your judgment on this.” He looked around, chewing his lip nervously. “You can…you can move home if you want. It would be safer.”

“It would be cowardice.” I said firmly. “Dalton tried to chase off my roommate already, I’m not letting him drive me out of the dorms. Fuck that guy. I appreciate the offer, but I’m going to stick it out. If you could maybe teach me some magic though…?

He snorted, shaking his head. “Not a chance. I’m no smith. Whatever it is you’re doing to get stronger, it seems to work this way.” I opened my mouth and he held up a hand. “No. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. Don’t tell ANYONE if you can help it. My point is you’re doing well, and I won’t interfere.”

I could understand that, even if it annoyed me. Plus him giving me lessons might raise some flags and get me even MORE attention. Weirdly, despite the fear, and the fact that I’d gotten basically the worst possible news…I felt better. Things were looking up. I was the same person, just with some Elf thrown in, and those guys had banished my mom, fuck em’.

As far as I was concerned I was still just a normal guy. Of course, apparently I had high mana tolerance, but that didn’t do me much good without magic to use so I’d worry about that later. All I needed to do now was keep working. Dad had gotten us sanctuary through power, so if I gathered my own I could shut up any of the idiots running their mouths about my heritage. I didn’t mind them talking shit about me, but I refused to let anyone look down on my mother. Elf or not she’d been a wonderful person, and I’d crush anyone who said different. It was nice to have goals.