✨Don’t Break Into My House... It Ain’t Worth It✨

*Goes B&E'ing on Tea's house. *Pterodactyl screeching and noises. Me being an absolutely degenerate: "You realize that's not gonna work on me, because I'm all here for that!"

Nicki Løvstrup Hansen

Burglar: You getting mugged kid! Tea: *Pterodactyl screeching* Burglar: AH HOW THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

Joseph Brown

Do not joke I have sworn that if someone breaks into my house they will have a large, shrieking naked man running at them wielding like, a tissue box in one hand and the closest book to my bedside table in the other, just running and swinging his arms like a windmill. Perfect. Home. Security.

phoenix

Tea: "What the prehistoric duck are underwaters? Liquid panties?" Me: *actively choosing to ignore the likelihood that it's just a typo* "I don't need sleep, I need answers!"

Blindluck92

I was just tryna get some virtual cuddles in but now I'm intrigued and ca t sleep

Monte

How is THIS not one of her audios?

BC_Animus

XD

Someone call Sam Neill & Chris Pratt. We gots us a new species to add to the next movie. :)

OutsiderHP

I know you think that’s a deterrent, it really isn’t. if anything, it makes me wanna do it more.

Carrington Michael Frayser

LMAO!!!

Silkwolf Frostsaber

The fact you went all pterodactyl on a intruder is all sorts of awesome!

Phoenix Brave Hideki

Now you Just woke my curiosity, what could your underwater be? And how do you expect Simeone to Back of If you are standing there half nacked?

PuRe

Thanks for that i was in the middle of a bottle of jack and ya about jaked my soul ..dam it mate ☠🍺

JzTuner2035

Alright when we getting the “you walk into the wrong house and get ambushed by a half naked dinosaur screeching woman” audio

CodyTheBruh

I'm willing to find out what underwaters are, for science.

Frohawk

And this is why it is important to know some self-defense. And invest in a prehistoric park to buy a pterodactyl to protect your home

Camilo Iribarren

Seconded

Tom Corrigan

"Jurassic Pigeon Bitch" in her underwaters. 😂🤣😂🤣😂 I am dying over here.

Shadowy Fox

Im pretty sure at that point the robber would give you what they have instead

All I keep thinking of is this: Scientists now believe that when the T-Rex roared, it more sounded like a frog croaking. So the thought of you going pterodactyl made that image much more clear in my mind. I will also say the thought of you stripping down to your underwear was a nice mental image as well (Just proving I'm a degenerate). Me personally, I might first try the Kevin McCallister game plan for dealing with house burglars (aka the 1st Home Alone).

David Frey

ROFLMAO!!! You know Tea you have to do an Audio about it.. LOL!!

Nosscheech

That's adorable yet a rather haunting image. That said I think we need a Jurassic Pigeon Bitch audio now.

Meadiocracy

This... This is why i am here

BATZY_66

Not your underwater

Avavago

This....this is why I became a patron. All hail the Jurassic Pigeon Bitch!

JamaicanMeCrazy

Some say Noah's still searching for answers...

Nathan Brown

You stripped down to your underwater!? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE TEA!?

Noah Davis

The finest security system money could buy👌

Bryan Martinez

Stripdown to your "underwater". yeah. but nah i cackled when i saw pteodactyl LMFAOOO

Aneh Good

*In David Attenborough's voice* "And this is perhaps one of the most peculiar animals that can be found here. The 'Remittentibus Tea' more commonly know, quite simply, as Tea. Right now this one is performing a threat display to word off an invader, who has strayed into this one's territory."

CurrentlyEatingPies

I mean...that is both a terrifying yet awesome mental image of a pterodactyl teacup hybrid killing people that dare enter her domain. I would love to be a fly on the wall to see that!

I have to hand it Tea I was not expecting to read that and can see someone doing that

Creed

That’s kinda the same tactic I use if a ghost try’s haunting me. Just get naked and stare in the corner it’s in. Ain’t no ghost wanna touch that

Val

Can we PLEASE have this as an audio lol

Gnot

I straight up thought someone broke into your house.

Jeremy Knight

Thats a hell of a defense mechanism i

Lol if I wanted to meet you I would simply ask!

MUZaKM4K3R

Jokes on you im into that sht xd nah jk

I was terrified! I thought this actually happened to you when I saw the headline. :(

L C

Coño, me asustaste 🤣

peanutbutterxxx

Also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLgrIipmT9Q

Mike Taylor

Welp, at least this set the message straight: Never get on teacup’s ass, cause you gonna get clapped

sa r dran 24

Are you worried that Santa is going to steal your stuff?

AudioFreak

Next audio idea, Jurassic Pigeon Bitch O.O

Jam Elephant

Almost did a spit take. Thank you for the good laugh.

Vinny the Stump

"underwater"?

Mike Taylor

Feel sorry for whoever has to go up against tea

Joshua

"Threaten me... I dare you."

Morgann Cedro

I got the notification and was concerned you had been Doxxed. Don't scare me like that Tea!

Wasp

Oh boy can’t wait to see ur cameo in Jurassic World 3 💙💜💙

Viltaryn

Jurassic Pigeon Bitch sounds like a kickass band name

Gawain

You’re absolutely adorable Tea! 😂😂

On today’s episode of “wtf did I just read”....

Thor Odinson

I see this as an absolute win

Onionbro

Lol

June

For a moment I thought this was gonna get dark ngl. Happy to be wrong

Paladin_Frost

Don't threaten me with a good time

Elijah King