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Ima be honest i read it too fast and i thought it said “if you wanna kill yourself please do” I was like “if tea tells me to, i guess i gotta do it”💀💀💀

BayAreaNinjaz

I had that thought seriously for the first time in months the other day. I'm glad I was able to get out of that mindset, but I'm still scared of it and ashamed of myself for feeling like I'm worth so little. Reading things like this help so much. Thank you, Tea.

Brandon Gibbins

Sadly, that feeling never went away for me. It's always gnawing in the back of my mind. At this point I'm just keeping everything in front of me every day

Tea, as someone who has been treated and sent through therapy for all this and still has trouble with it. Thank you, your channel and your content are such a blessing. I'm able to series get a full night's sleep thanks to you and I am truly thankful. Here's hoping you and yours have a good New year

Charuzu

I lied to myself my teenage years and told myself "I never had suicidal thoughts! I'm not weak!" Years later I acknowledged that when I was younger I wanted a way out and used to think it might be easier to just off myself. Even though I never acted on those thoughts, I learned to accept them and acknowledge that they happened. On top of that I realize it's okay and normal to struggle. Everyone hits their lowest point some time. It's having the patience and drive to get back up is what allows us to bounce back, stronger then ever.

Dalton Remy

I needed this right now. How did you know?

Scarida Ghostly

God damn it. Not anything you did you did, it's more that I constantly think about killing myself and I hate myself for that. Thanks for caring.

John Folmer

❤️ Thanks Tea.

Nosscheech

You are right, Tea. I had those awful thoughts and feelings run through my head during my time in the Army, and they are scary and depressing but not forever. Anyone can beat them and push through them. It’s not easy, but it IS possible. Never let those feelings take over you. One thing that Tea didn’t mention that I learned that needs to be said despite sounding harsh and mean is that suicide is a selfish act. It’s selfish because you want your pain to go away and not consider how the people around you will move on from the pain you give them. I did that and made all kinds of excuses for that. “Mom got over Dad’s and her mom’s death. She’ll get over mine.” “My brother is tough. He’ll get over it. He’s always bragging how manly he is and I should be more like him. Then, me being dead won’t fucking matter.” “My aunt is all about God and Heaven. She’ll convince herself that I’m in Heaven and be at peace.” “My pets at home are just dumb animals. They don’t understand death and wouldn’t care if they never saw me again.” I made every excuse that justified me killing myself, but that was the selfishness speaking. I was the most selfish person on Earth by doing that. After I opened up to my family about these thoughts, I saw how much pain I put them through by just opening up. I can’t imagine how much more painful it would have been if I did it. I understand the pain is horrendous and you want it to end so badly, but the pain you’ll leave behind is WORSE THAN WHAT YOU’RE FEELING! You know what my mom did that she regrets doing after hearing what I said, she drank heavily for a week and hid it from everyone except for me. She blamed herself, and I feel awful that I put her through that. Do you want your loved ones to go through that? Do you wish for your legacy to be remembered as shorting your own life? No? Then step up and fight through it for them. That’s the only way to beat it, to show you’re strong, to show how unselfish you are, and how much you love your friends and family. Life is mean, fun, and temporary, and one shouldn’t spend it in misery. Live life to the fullest and YOU CAN beat these nasty thoughts and any other obstacle that comes your way!

Coby-O

Tea speaking the truth. Been there a few times, I was this close to ending it when I was 16, I had absolutely hit rock bottom. And it's right there when you are on the edge of the cliff, you see or hear something that pulls you back away, unfortunately not everyone gets that which is a shame and a tragedy. Something I've been carrying with me ever since, I always have one on me or close to me, I made a laminated card with the numbers to the local suicide hotline, a number to the 24hour volunteer psychology line, and some other helpful numbers. And since then, with a bit of help from a psychiatrist I've "programmed" myself to take a look at this card and call at least one or two of the numbers, if I get remotely close to the planning phase. It's helped me a few times before - maybe someone else can use this as a self intervention.

Nicki Løvstrup Hansen

If you need help just ask this community.

Darkai

I think deep down everyone knows that suicide is only a reaction and not a solution but sometimes it doesn't matter what you know. What you feel just takes over. All of us fight battles with demons others don't know exist and some of us lose that battle. I've sadly seen it happen more than once. But sometimes we need others to give us a little bit of light whenever we get lost in the dark.

Dalin

Recently I've just been feeling something similar unfortunately... Feeling like no one likes me... Not being anyone's favourite person (even in friendship scenarios)... Feeling like, if I were someone else, everything would be so much better... To the point where I have those thoughts you described, Tea - "Maybe it doesn't matter if I don't exist, no one would care" But I guess mentally, all of us in this community are here for each other

bag

I commissioned you a few years ago on this subject as kind of a trial run to talking to my fiance. I'm so glad I did. We sat down and talked and she begged me to get help which I did and it has me in a much better place, mentally

As someone who has been diagnosed with depression, I couldn't agree more. You may feel like shit today, that the world is out to screw you over, and that the only way out is permanently. DON'T DO IT! PLEASE! Tomorrow may not be a huge difference between today or the day before, but it at least offers the promise of being better. Even in Billy Joel's song Keeping the Faith, he says "The good old days weren't always good, and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems." If you are feeling this way, please do the following: 1. Talk to someone you trust. Doesn't matter if it's a family member, friend, psychiatrist, whomever. You are not in this alone. 2. Hold on. Sometimes it's through talking with a therapist a few times a week, sometimes it's through medication, sometimes it's through religion. Whatever you find works best for you, use that to help you make it another day. 3. Never be afraid to admit it. Now granted, don't use this as a crutch (I have known the occasional person that uses it more to get out of things they don't want to do as compared to actually seeking help), but by being open with it, more people will notice when things are bringing you down. Keep the hope. I fight myself on a daily basis. Again, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH TEA for emphasizing this.

David Frey

Needed that very much...💙🌹💛

Viltaryn

No change will come without effort.

Darkai

There'll always be good and bad times. Maybe there are more bad than good times now. But the good times will come. And it's worth the wait. Maybe try to get some company to keep you busy, and you'll make it through fine

Arvel

Here’s to 2021, let’s take it one day at a time🙌

Skywolf

Yes. Emotions affect everyone, especially the carrier and it is important to work it out as much as possible. Thank you for this, Tea

Camilo Iribarren

That felt good

Peachy The Plump