❤️ Please Like Me ❤️ [Girlfriend Role-play Short Story] [F4A] [Girlfriend’s Inner Monologue of Self-Loathing] [Relatable Fluff] [Sitting On My Couch] [Watching a Movie] [Getting Close to Someone is Scary as Shit]

I am a crippled, little person who shouldn't be here. I am misshapen and brow-beaten and worn-down by dread and chewed-off finger nails and the fear that sooner, rather than later, you’ll find out just how underwhelming I am.

I realise in admitting this, I’m shooting myself in the foot. Right now, right as you sit next to me, your knee softly knocking against mine, I should be thanking whoever’s up there. You’re here, in my small, unambitious apartment, your knee touching mine. I should be in it, in this moment of you being in my space, sharing your time, smiling at whatever stupid, inconsequential thing I manage to get out.

But as usual, I can’t take advantage of shit. I know you’re here, I know we’re watching something on TV, but I can’t shake this haze. This cloud of disbelief, of almost regret. If you weren’t here making me feel sick and worried, I’d be enjoying myself, happy in my quiet little corner of loneliness. But you are here and it’s not safe and I have no idea what you’re doing here.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, just tired.”

“You want me to go home?”

“No.”

Yes.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Absolutely fucking not.

“We don’t have to watch it, if you don’t like it.”

“I like it.”

I like whatever you like. What do you like? Just tell me what you like, what you want me to be and I’ll be that.

“You sure? We can watch something-“

“I don’t know if I like it cause I’m not watching the movie! I don’t even know if it’s a movie. I don’t even know what’s really going on right now, all I know is you’re in my apartment and your knee keeps touching my knee and I just kinda wanna cry and run away!”

Shit.

“And… that came out really wrong and I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, if I…”

“You didn’t! You didn’t. Whatever you could have possibly done, you didn’t. You are not the problem. You are good and patient and thoughtful and kind and I… I have no idea what you’re doing here.”

“I thought we were watching a movie.”

“Well, that would make sense. And that would be nice, but I am… scared. And that is so pathetic to say, out loud, to another grown-up person, but it’s the truth. I just feel worried and terrified and like something small is just gonna make all this, you being here, next me, come tumbling down like a sack of shit.”

“Me too.”

“What?”

“I probably hide it a bit better, but every time you give me a one word answer or don’t say anything for a while, I feel like there’s this voice inside that says: ‘you’re boring the shit out of her!’”

“You’re not. I-“

“Well, then, maybe it’s not all gonna come tumbling down… like a sack of shit. Which is a beautiful way to put it, by the way.”

“Maybe.” I say and somewhat, potentially believe.

“You know, I know you’re a freak, right?”

I laugh so hard that I know it’s an ugly one - one only acceptable around family, friends, people you don’t eventually wanna have sex with.

“Now, you need to know that I’m one too.”

I wipe my face, hoping to god, you don’t see the little flecks of spit.

“Haven’t seen a lot of evidence to support that.”

“Well, gimme time.”

Your knee knocks against mine, and this time, I lean in.

...

Script by TeacupAudio