Lith's Diary - April

Dear Diary,
Has it really only been one month? I don't know about you, but it feels like it's been ages since I wrote to you last. I guess April has been pretty crazy, and I know that I had a hard time with some of it, but... right now, I'm feeling alright. I've been getting things done and having fun as well, I'm doing fine in lockdown, and I've got plenty to look forward to. It just... feels like I've been through a lot, I guess. Sorry I'm a little late writing this, I really lost track of time.

Actually... there is one thing that's still kinda bugging me, I guess. I've tried not to think about it too much, but it's kinda... thrown me off balance for a while. Earlier this month, a good friend of mine... cut all ties with me. It was a shock, to say the least. I thought we were doing fine, but it turned out he'd been pretty unhappy with a lot of the things I'd done and just... wasn't really saying anything about it. Now he's making big changes in his life, and... he doesn't want anything more to do with me. And I don't get any say in the matter.

And I mean... we've been friends for years. I really thought we shared a lot, that we were on the same wavelength in a lot of ways, but... I guess not. I was in shock for a while after that, and felt kinda... wobbly. Like... maybe there's something wrong with me? I did try to get some feedback from him, and I tried to think about how I could do better in the future, but there was a lot that I needed more info on, but he'd already cut me off... So I don't know what to do with it. With feeling like this. I don't really know how to make sure it doesn't happen again, except I guess, to ask my friends to tell me if there's something bugging them about me... to give me a chance to try and do better.

It's... frustrating, and distracting. I've kinda put it aside as much as I could to keep going with everything else, but it's still... I mean, I'm feeling better now. It's been a little while. I suppose I'll come to understand we're better off going our separate ways, that I'm better off without him, if this is how he handles things. But a relationship is a two-way street, and I have to think about where my fault lies in all this before I can really put it aside.

Well. It does feel a little better just talking about it. Putting my thoughts down and straightening them out a little. Hope I'm not worrying you or anything, I'll be okay. Like I said, I'm feeling pretty alright all around at the moment. Hmmm... how about a lighter subject?

I did try a new game this month. I've had my eye on Forager for a while but heard some mixed things, and I finally grabbed it recently to give it a try. It's an odd take on the whole "gather resources, build a furnace, make stuff to make fancier stuff" approach to gameplay, where part of the process is that you earn money, then use it to buy new islands-- you start on one tiny chunk of land, like 30 feet across, then you can buy another one, which pops up out of the water right next to you. And each island can have new resources or puzzles or quest givers, lots of random things. Resources spawn in constantly all over the place, and even with stuff like animals, you're not really supposed to herd them and breed them for resources or anything-- just gather from them, kill them for meat, then more will spawn in. That threw me for a loop early on.

I think I'm getting close to the endgame now, and overall, the main thing I've taken from the game is that it does a really strong job of meting out that feeling of "progress" to keep you coming back. Every time you level up you get a new skill point, which usually unlocks a new type of building or item to craft, or makes something dramatically more efficient and effective. Each skill does a decent job of changing how the game plays a little, and gives you something new to focus on and mess around with. Meanwhile you're trying to gather resources to craft the more expensive stuff, and suddenly realize you have enough money to open up a new chunk of map. Every time I think things are slowing down and it'd be a good time to stop playing, I notice something else I can buy or unlock or build that I haven't tried yet. It really draws you in with some diverse, shifting focuses and surprises you with interesting combos and new dynamics that develop.

But it's not just new buildings-- there's a very tangible feel of progress that I can appreciate. In the early game things were pretty slow all around, and one of my biggest gripes was how dang annoying it could be when new things kept spawning in too thick-- a wall of trees or rocks can completely stop you until you cut a new path through them, and then it might well be closed up again when you come back. It made getting around the map to do anything aggravating!

But after a while, they give you the ability to make a bomb. It's a little expensive, but suddenly those dense patches of obstacles have a solution-- and blowing them all up gives you all the resources from them instantly, which often more than pays back for the bomb. Very satisfying! But still not perfect. Later I started making a potion that lets me clear out resources very quickly for a limited time, which was honestly a rush, especially combined with some other potions to take special advantage of all that rapidfire action. Still not perfect, but very fun and profitable. Now, in the mid-late game, I got another tool that absolutely blasts things away whenever I want, and it completely changes the feel of moving around the map. It feels kinda overpowered, but it does have its weaknesses and nuances, and works better in the right combination. Obstacles are hardly a problem now, and it feels so incredible just carving my way through the map after all the frustration in the early game. It's a risky move, making your early game that annoying, but I do think it paid off here, and I can respect the gamble the dev took with that, you know?

I heard the endgame might be kinda disappointing, but I guess I'll find out before too long. Right now, I'm pretty dang happy with it, though I will say that the controls seem problematic. It's a lot easier to do most things with a controller because you don't have to be so precise just to get things done rapidly... but when you do need precision, it's basically impossible with a controller. And you can't switch to mouse without going back to the main menu and loading in again! That's still a frustration to me, and I'm hoping they're still gonna polish up the controls some, but overall I've still enjoyed it plenty.

Well. It's getting late, so I should probably wrap this up. I... hope that you've had better luck with your friends than I have, Diary. And that you'll be honest with me if there's something I do that bothers you... Maybe with all your friends, for that matter? I think it's better to communicate openly and honestly and just work with what you've really got going on than try to keep something fake going... And I hope that you've got a good sense of progression going in your life as well-- that you're making things better than they used to be, so you can have a better tomorrow than your yesterday!

I know you've helped me plenty with doing that myself. Thank you, Diary. Things are finally looking up, after so long... it's still kinda hard to believe it. But we did it. You and me. ...And Lithier, I guess. Thank you so much for making this all possible.

Please take care of yourself, and keep making the world a better place.
-Lith