Past Realities
Added 2021-06-22 06:51:57 +0000 UTCFlowers float by as I stare at the screen, illuminated pixels illustrating past realities. I feel the world's weight quietly coming to a stop. The anxiety medication slowing my heart, while I process new information. Life is a constant cycle of beginnings and endings.
I share much of myself, through art, deep conversations, and building meaningful connections. Sometimes those connections come to a conclusion. It's harder when it's someone you love, respect, and admire.
Best and I fed off each other's excitement and creativity, while encouraging collaboration. We pushed each other to great heights, even when life handed us even greater adversities. Even weathering a storm of health difficulties with (some) success, and an actual pandemic, until very recently. Though that's not really, truly over, is it? Is it? I'm asking for a friend. :P
He was my muse, frequently a canvas for my art, and a catalyst for my own mental health. I wouldn't have started ADHD medication, if it wasn't for his encouragement.
He even mischievously surprised me on my Birthday. Not once, but TWICE. First by showing up to my gallery show unexpectedly (flying in!). Second by throwing me a party, and secretly inviting all of my close friends. And he's an introvert.
But when Best turned on the magic, everyone felt it. He was pretty electric.
Best was also frequently funny, and I started to develop laugh lines because of him. No joke.
Recently Best returned to Colorado a few weeks ago. There was uncertainty if/when he would return to Phoenix. Though the decision caught me off guard (I was returning from Oregon), this is what he said he needed. Earlier this afternoon, Best made the difficult decision to end the relationship. The path he's choosing in life doesn't leave room for...us.
I know a lot of you have been supportive of us! As a couple, and of course individually. Thank you. If you're new here, we were in a relationship for the last 2.5 years. Today that adventure has concluded, but I'm hoping for friendship in the epilogue.
If you're friends with him, I encourage you to reach out and offer kindness. I'm pretty heartbroken, but I'm not heartless. He's a good person, just on a different path now.
I don't know what else to say. There's so much to unpack, but some things are better left unsaid. I'm not sure what's happening with the book People Aren't Flowers. Most of the artwork has been completed, but I don't anticipate him flying down here for the last painting. I wish I had better news... but that's where that's at.
It feels so weird to say goodbye. Just last month we were looking at places to get married. Now I stare at the keyword trying to find a way to conclude this post. Thanks for listening.
Love,
Brandon
Comments
Brandon, Your path's crossed for a reason, more than likely many reasons, but they did. I look at this as a temporary break, not a permanent thing. Give him the time and space he needs and there is a possibility that he may find that he needs to be friends, or more. It may take a long time, or it might not. It is up to him now. Keep loving him, as I'm sure he does you. HUGGZZZZ
Richard Basen
2021-06-22 17:46:38 +0000 UTCYou share so much of your humanity, joyful and sad times. Thank you for that. And, so sorry for both you and Best. Never easy.
Michael Kilgore
2021-06-22 17:31:11 +0000 UTCSo sorry to hear this! Wishing you all the love and healing the universe can spare.
2021-06-22 14:45:22 +0000 UTCOh my friend… I cannot even begin to fathom how this is making you feel. *hug* lots of love and good vibes your way my friend.
Kyle Limb
2021-06-22 14:37:17 +0000 UTCDear Brandon So sorry to hear. I feel for you. Wishing you lots of strength in these difficult times. Love Chris
Chris
2021-06-22 14:31:04 +0000 UTCI'm so sorry Brandon. I've been on both sides of that experience. It is not easy for anyone. I hope you can use the energy and emotion to creqte something amazing.
Gregory coburn
2021-06-22 14:13:55 +0000 UTCHoping that you both heal and find spaces in your heart for one another. Love 💕 ^FM
Felicia & Freddy
2021-06-22 14:00:00 +0000 UTCSo sorry to read your sad news. Sending positive vibes in your direction!
2021-06-22 13:41:26 +0000 UTCIt's never easy letting go. I could say something positive, give my condolences, or tell you a story -- but in my opinion right now is the time to remember. Look back on all the memories, both happy and sad. Cry and smile. It will hurt for a while and eventually get better, but what I've learned from heartache is that you need to experience it before it can get better. As you think about both the good and bad memories, you will eventually focus much more on the good. I wish both you and Best a happy life and I'm sorry you both have to go through this. Take care of yourselves. 🫂
2021-06-22 13:30:21 +0000 UTCWhy do paths diverge? So often we miss each other, fail to meet each other. Seems so right to say, now we are together, we shall never part!… And yet we do!… Thank you for sharing, dear Brandon. Believe me, you are not alone. Less so in your bereavement—for that’s what it really is—than in your happiness. But I for one believe that loss can make you richer—within. And I have seen your art expand and mature over the years, and it cannot have all of it been for laughs alone. You have my admiration, and that of so many. It may not be worth as much as a love lost but I hope that this humble gift will sustain you and make you smile. 💜❤️💜❤️
MB
2021-06-22 09:03:54 +0000 UTCI'm so sorry Brandon, I hope that the two of you are able to find the happiest paths forward that you can.
James Powell
2021-06-22 08:28:52 +0000 UTCI am so sorry to the both of you!!! This certainly is not easy and I send healing thoughts and positive vibes to both of you and hope you can find some peace and release in your artwork!! I know we have never met in person but if you need anything, please feel free to reach out to me!!
Robert Frampus-Frye
2021-06-22 08:03:52 +0000 UTCAs the poet, Doug Powell, says: "I carry the same baffled heart I have always carried a bit more battered than before, a bit less joy for I see the difficult charge of living in this declining sphere"
Matt Kulisch
2021-06-22 07:40:43 +0000 UTC
