A Voracious Vacuum Cleaner At Canterlot Palace

Vacuum vore for Lightning_Flash!  I hope you enjoy it! C:

Poll results are in!  Y'all want to see a micro pred.  Look forward to seeing me write that tonight at 8pm EST!

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 Canterlot Palace was like a fortress, safe and sound from any dangers the outside world could throw at it.  Unfortunately, the danger today was coming from the inside—thanks to a rather absent-minded pony with a magical vacuum cleaner.  
Tidy Helpings was known as a helpful fellow to all in the castle, even if he was a little bit gone in the head.  Today, that would be everyone’s undoing.
Tidy grabbed the vacuum cleaner and began to clean, whistling and humming, not paying attention as he did so.  The vacuum was no ordinary one: it was a magically enchanted contraption, shaped like a barrel, that could truly suck up anything, turning whatever it captured into dust.  Yes, truly /anything/—even larger objects and living beings!  And it would capture plenty of them today.
At first it was small things.  Little pillows and pieces of paper, a bit beyond the things a vacuum would normally sweep up, but still in the realm of possibility.  But then, as Tidy Helpings made his rounds today, it snatched up a couch cushion lying on the floor—and then sucked in the couch!  The castle guard who noticed this ran up to Tidy Helpings to inform him—and then the poor guard got sucked in by the vacuum, armor and all, and turned into dust like everything else.
And so Tidy Helpings went around the castle, vacuuming much more than he was assigned to, with anybody noticing also being accidently sucked in by the machine.  The stallion had no idea what he was doing, and in his mind, when he looked up and saw a clear room, he was doing a fantastic job!  The poor fellow had no clue of the vacuum’s true powers.
His rounds included the quarters of Princess Luna and Princess Celestia.  And Princess Luna was first. . .
She was snoring away in her bedroom when the cleaning pony came.  Tidy walked into the bedroom with the vacuum, humming as the contraption began sucking up the room’s contents: the dirt first, then the furniture, slurping down the candles lining the walls and the curtains at the windows.  The young cleaner walked over to Princess Luna’s rug, which was promptly devoured by the vacuum and converted into dust.  Then, he strayed over to her bed to clean around it.
A bit of Luna’s tail was hanging off of the bed, and the vacuum cleaner caught the edge of it—that was enough for the hungry machine.  It sucked in her tail bit by bit, making her back warp to fit her thanks to its size, and once the machine was done there, it was time for the rest of her to enter its tight compartment.
First Luna’s back legs were slurped up by the vacuum.  It grabbed her hooves and shoved them inside, sucking them up into the machine, making her warp even more as her feet entered it.  Then the rest of her legs made their way inside, bit by bit, which made her body compact even more as more of her slid into its grasp.  The nozzle inflated in size, its magic increasing as it fought to get such a big piece of dirt inside of it, but it was hardly a struggle.  The enchantment over the vacuum meant it could handle nearly anything, after all.
As Luna’s legs went properly inside, she began to enter the vacuum’s main bag, her tail bunching up inside and her legs loosely sleep-kicking.  She was getting toward the belly of the beast—or rather, machine—and her tail and legs painlessly began turning into dust, just like all the other poor souls who had been sucked in before her.  And like before, Tidy Helpings didn’t even notice what he was doing.
The vacuum reached her midsection and began pulling it in, sucking up Luna’s hips and thighs effortlessly, making her form compact as the nozzle it reached her stomach.  The machine slowly made its way up the snoring princess, getting her in inch by inch, putting her belly and back inside first, then her chest, both without much effort from the magic barrel vacuum, pulling her wings in all the while.  The inside welcomed its new passenger, converting more and more of the alicorn into dust.  All the while, Luna dozed on, completely unaware of what was happening.
Only her front legs, neck, and head were left to suck up.  The vacuum roared, and then descended onto her shoulders, pulling them inside of it in the blink of an eye—the widest part had been dealt with, so this wasn’t nearly as much trouble as the other areas.  After the shoulders came Princess Luna’s neck, which was slurped up with ease.  Finally, her snoring head was the only remaining part for the vacuum to devour.  It let out a decisive whir, and then sucked in her head in.  First her closing eyes descended inside the hungry machine, then her snoring mouth, and finally, her horn went inside of the contraption, which roared again once all of Luna was inside.
The princess was still snoring away, but she could feel something tickling her nose in her sleep, and she giggled.  Little did the alicorn know that she was presently surrounded by dust—part of it converted from her body—and as she entered the vacuum’s nozzle, she was about to fully be part of the very thing that made her laugh.
Like before, it was completely painless, so Luna felt nothing as the vacuum “digested” her, breaking her down into nothing.  Only her shoulders, neck, and head were left, and the vacuum sped up the process, making her shoulders change.  Finally, her neck became dust, as did Luna’s head, and the magic faded from her horn as it, too, became nothing but dust.  The whole process took only a few seconds—after all, Luna was nothing compared to the power of the vacuum.  By the time she was in the bag, all of her was dust.
Tidy Helpings looked up, and realized the place was all clean!  Whistling once again, he left the room, but not before sucking up more candles and Luna’s large bed.
He walked into the hallway, to Celestia’s room.  As he opened the door, the princess was resting on her bed as well, but she was awake, and she gave Tidy Helpings a big smile.
“Why hello there, Tidy Helpings,” she said cheerfully.  The young pony gave her a absent-minded wave hello, and she gave him a sad, sympathetic smile.  “What brings you here today?”
“I’m here to clean up, m’lady,” he said cheerfully.  “Now, please, allow me the honor of helping you.”
She smiled.  “Please do.”
And so, he walked inside of the room, and turned his brain off as he vacuumed, whistling and paying no attention to what he was currently doing.  Princess Celestia watched him with a frown.
“Oh dear,” she muttered, watching him vacuum in her plant, and then suck up one of her favorite cushions.  “You seem to be taking a bit more than you can chew there, dearie.  Perhaps we can turn the vacuum off for a moment, and—
She stopped.  Tidy Helpings was approaching her—was he going to do as she said and stop the vacuum?  But no, little did she know that the young pony was paying her no attention.  Instead he was continuing his cleaning.  He walked over to her bed, where the princess was lying, and began to vacuum around it.   As he went around, the machine slurped up Celestia’s bed, making her tumble out onto the floor, and she went from irritated to angry.
“That’s quite enough, my dear!” she said, standing from the ground.   “You will cease vacuuming at once, and then we will—”
She stopped.  Tidy Helpings hadn’t listened to her, and in his rush to clean, he was going around her.  The vacuum had reached her long, rainbow tail—and it was beginning to suck it in. . .
“I . . . I do believe I’m stuck, Tidy Helpings,” Celestia said to the stallion, trying to tug her tail out of the contraption.  But that only got her in deeper, as the vacuum continued to pull in her appendage, not relenting its pursuit even for a second.  “Can you turn that thing off for a minute, please?!  Just for a second, and then we can—oh!”
Celestia let out a scream as the vacuum sucked in more and more of her tail, tugging harder at her behind and causing her pain.  She fell onto the ground, and the vacuum dragged her towards it, almost at her hind hooves. . .  “Tidy Helpings, can we talk about this?!” Celestia cried, starting to truly panic now.  “Please, for goodness sakes, turn off the vacuum!”
But the poor stallion wasn’t listening.  And so, as the vacuum made it halfway up her tail, it also reached her back feet, and began pulling those in, also.   Just as it reached them, her tail reached the bag, and began turning into dust.
Celestia felt a strange tingling feeling in her tail, like it was . . . disintegrating?  She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she knew something was very wrong—and she had to get out.  The princess continued to resist, but she was no match for the machine.
Celestia felt it as her legs began to get sucked in by the vacuum, shoes and all.  Her body compacted as it went inside the machine, which tightened around her body as the machine gobbled up more and more of her.  She could also feel her legs entering a tickly, dusty space, and turning tingly too—this couldn’t be good, not at all. . .
“Help!” the princess cried as the vacuum took in more and more of her legs.  She struggled against the pull, tried to get herself out, but that only seemed to make the machine take her in faster!  “Somebody please, help me!  Please—oh no!”
The contraption had reached the end of her legs and tail, and was now at her behind.  It sucked that in quickly, along with her stomach and wings.  Celestia felt her body compacting in the vacuum as it greedily sucked her up—she also felt her legs piling into the dusty bag, fully dissipating once inside, and had a good idea of what her fate would be now.
“Oh no—oh no!” she screamed, trying more desperately than ever to get herself out.  But that only sucked her in more, causing the machine to quickly take in her chest and shoulders, disintegrating them very quickly: all too soon, it reached her long neck.  
“Please, Tidy Helpings!” she begged.  “Please, help me!”  But the absent-minded stallion was paying absolutely no attention to her at all—in fact, he was still whistling!  So Celestia’s neck was pulled into the vacuum, and before she could even scream again, her head was slurped up by the machine, crown and all.
There was only a little bit of her left now.  The vacuum quickly pulled in Celestia’s hair and front legs, along with her horn, and in a matter of seconds, all of her was piled inside of the dusty bag.
And then it happened.  As she passed through the nozzle of the vacuum, that feeling of disintegration quickly began going to her head, and Celestia immediately knew what was going on.  “No, no, please!” she screamed.  “I don’t want to be dust!  Somebody help me!”  But nobody could hear her cries, and so the princess was dissolved by the vacuum.  Like with Luna, it was painless, but knowing what she was becoming filled Celestia up with dread and despair.  Until finally, her head was transformed into dust, and she could feel no more.
Tidy Helpings looked up from his daze, and looked around the room, nodding to himself.  Yeah, this place was clean alright!  Now he just had a few more rooms to go.
And so, the absent-minded pony left, with his vacuum in hand, still whistling.