Special Agent Field Reports: July 2019

Sorry for the wait!

 

Secret Agent Avia Jiutai was sent to investigate apparent sightings of the phantom island of New Naota. The island is included on several maps since its alleged discovery in 1305, but since the advent of satellite imagery it had been declared mythological. No solid evidence of the island existed until two pilots reported finding the island after their plane made an emergency landing at sea. Following their flight path, Agent Jiutai reported that a thick layer of cloud and fog obscured the island, which he described as small and rocky, with a dense patch of vegetation between two small mountains. Apparent electronic interference gave the agent difficulty landing and prevented the use of any cameras or communication devices, all of Jiutai's reports of the island's wildlife were given later by word of mouth and dictation when he returned to the mainland. His reports suggest that among a small population of colorful, exotic birds and large arthropods, the island may be inhabited by small humanoids, spotted at a distance through foliage. An attempt has been made to relocate the island, with hopes that analogue film cameras could provide evidence, but the island has since evaded rediscovery.  

The eastern wing of the SIU agent residential areas were quarantined last month as Secret Agent Gedat Rakkin, still under the apparent transformative effects of dream entities, successfully converted two other agents. These agents, now matching the silver, sphere-headed shape of the infected Agent Rakkin, then began arranging personal, sentimental objects of their hosts (or original selves) in intricate patterns on the floor in Rakkin's quarters. Despite the R&D department's insistence on allowing this ritual to continue for study, nerve gas was pumped into the room to render the inhabitants unconscious. The agents were brought to the medical ward for more extensive examinations, and it was found that the agents original heads were buried within the silver spheres. The composition of the spheres has eluded our scientists as, when separated from the body, they quickly dissipate into nothing. All three agents are now in the intensive care ward, but conscious and expected to make a full recovery after the experiment was called off and all the spheres were removed; Agent Rakkin appears to have no memory of his time spent in this state.

Car troubles forced Secret Agent Cat Zirka to stop at a small motel during a trip along the eastern North American coast. The motel, described as a converted colonial-era mansion obscured deep within North American woods, was marked by an intense, repugnant smell, weakly combated by scented candles and air fresheners. Being forced to stay overnight to await repairs, Agent Zirka grew suspicious of a leak in the corner of her room's ceiling when searching out the smell. As her photographs seem to show, peeling the wood paneling back revealed a blanket of flesh: a mix of living fat and muscle tissue. Further destruction of the room (to be docked from the agent's salary) showed that the flesh extended behind all walls and the ceiling, with implications that bones served as the support posts of this old building. Agent Zirka snuck out of her room and into the building's basement, requiring the breaking of several heavy locks. Cat described her findings as "a massive, pulsing heart with thick veins extending into the cement and wood foundation of the house." The nature and origin of this apparently building-shaped being is unknown; when questioned by the agent, the building owners resorted to violence and had to be subdued. The owners are now in custody and the surrounding three-mile area has been quarantined for study.

Senior Agent Wheaton Adams traveled to the south China coast where a mummy was discovered inside a gold religious statue. Art dealers, suspicious of the uneven weight of the statue, requested x-ray and CT scans of the statue, which revealed an intact corpse of a monk in a meditative pose. The statue, dated to roughly 1500 CE, was created well before the worldwide ban on the practice of self-mummification as a means of meditative enlightenment. Agent Adams was to take readings of the statue and observe its transport to a national museum, when workers are reported to have dropped and cracked it, revealing the face of the mummy within: which allegedly opened its eyes. As the statue was forced open further, the body inside began to breath and stir, apparently alive, suggesting either a sudden revitalization of the corpse or an end to a 700 year meditative trance. The monk is undergoing medical examination, but so far has refused interrogation.

Special Agent Chaz Gates spent much of the last month investigating a supposedly haunted abandoned fairground. The American amusement park, Groovy Land, abandoned since 1988, had been kept closely guarded by the property owners, two sons of the park's original owner. The brother's had recently passed, leaving the park's property ownership in question. While exploring, Agent Gates recorded several spectral sightings, including moving swings and several orbs and ghostly figures around still maintained attractions. In studying the photographs, which implied the height and potential outfits of some of these ghosts, the agent suggests that most, if not all, of these presences may once have been children. With the looming threat of the property being purchase and renovated, Chaz pleaded to SIU officials with her theory: that the park, with its abandoned nature hiding still-functional play areas, may have been purposefully kept for the ghosts of children. A last minute search may support this theory, as Agent Gates discovered that the bodies of many children were buried in an overlooked graveyard nearby. The SIU has allocated funds to purchase the land under a shell corporation, and staff will be deployed to maintain the grounds for the use of these spectral children.  

UFO sightings were reported in rural southern France, Special Agent Arukino was tasked to investigate. Following the flight path of this reportedly bulky and brightly lit craft, he was able to trace it to a small, locally-owned farm. The craft was poorly hidden, easily located within a large barn: a multi-tiered craft of metal and wood held together by a scaffolding of pipes. When confronted, the farm's owner, and builder of the craft, was revealed to be a retired army engineer. He claimed that he based his design on an obscure Indian religious text dated to roughly 2000 BCE. Within the text was the description of a sort of arc, a special ship meant to bring people to the island of the gods, though a complete record was missing from the most well-maintained copies of the relic. Modern archaeology had discovered nearly-destroyed remnants of scrolls, which some theorized to be missing excepts of the religious book; this engineer had used these excerpts, after visits to many of the museums where they were held, to better understand the plans in the core text, and had apparently built a functional aircraft based on the 4000 year old designs. In exchange for paying the legal fines the engineer faced for flying over residential areas without a pilot's license, the SIU will work with him to further study this ancient aircraft technology.

Special Agent Kouroth helped investigate reports of tiny tools and other evidence of the living space of a small, advanced creature within the walls of an old book store. Great care was spent with this investigation, in the likely event that it was a hoax or art project, as was the SIU's initial assumption. Discovered during the beginning of renovations on the property, hidden between the drywall paneling were small chairs, tables, and weapons, all created out of shards of wood or disposed objects such as matches, thread, and credit cards diced into small pieces. These objects seemed to be appropriately sized for the use of a six inch tall person. Other findings within the wall seem to imply that a purposefully shorted electrical wire may have been used for cooking. A hoax is suspected by the SIU headquarters; however all the objects, when placed under a microscope, did not seem to indicate the expected crafter's mark of anyone of a normal size. Several theories persist, including miniaturized humanoids or a race of sentient feral mice: investigation will continue. The owners of the book store have gone to great lengths to conceal these discoveries from the press, which brings claims of hoax into further doubt.

Special Agent Neo was sent to Australia following claims of strange behavior by a prolific chain store. Research indicated that a collection of loosely-connected companies had been buying out all of the storefronts within a town's various strip malls and main streets, re-branding them or replacing them entirely with a ludicrous amount of identical mattress stores. Agent Neo's previous experience with the town of Westfalenhof, believed to be a single sentient hivemind of citizens, proved fruitful in this investigation as a close examination of the workings and connections between these companies and stores seemed to imply an emerging sentience. The employees and managers of the stores themselves do not appear connected to this intelligence; although many of them, who hold multiple part-time jobs, were employed several times by this same entity at different locations. The collective of companies themselves appear to have, somehow, formed a consciousness, out of happenstance or by more direct means. Corporations are well known for their inherent need for growth and self preservation, but the reactions and motivations implied by this seemingly self-driven system seems to imply that a “brain” is operating, slowly, via the processes of paperwork and upper management communication. Agent Neo will remain in Australia for further investigation.