Golden Mask - Susanna Mercado

Some time later, in one of their conversations, M. decided to ask a question full of provocation and hidden tension:
"Do you fantasize about one day giving your freedom and all of yourself to a man? Imagine that he takes control away from you forever, allowing you to finally feel what you have always longed for, what you dreamed about and what you trusted only to those closest to you. Have you thought about finally becoming who you were always destined to be? To become your true self..."
The words sounded like an enticing whisper, addressed to the very depths of my desires, to those secrets that I hid from everyone. I froze, my breath caught. The question sounded so bold, so confident, as if he knew all my secret desires, those that I did not even admit to myself. The feeling was captivating, as if I was standing on the edge of an abyss, over which a sweet euphoria was spreading.
The heady sensations that accompanied the transfer of complete control over myself reflected my interest in completely subordinating myself to M., captivated and intrigued me.
At that moment, it became clear to me that M. was exactly the man I was looking for, even if I myself had not yet managed to fully realize it.
M. continued: "... I want a relationship with a strong, purposeful woman who is capable of sacrificing everything for a new path without the possibility of returning to her previous life, offering herself to me completely and without reserve. I will lead her through the gates of the unknown, plunging her into a captivating and mysterious world of devotion, constant and inevitable bondage and absolute submission. She will live in strict restraint, completely under my control. I will possess her completely. For my part, I promise to be a strict and demanding, but attentive and fair mentor, under whose hand she will become a submissive and obedient slave... This will not be a game - it will become part of our life, our love, our history."
I couldn't tear myself away from these words, reading them over and over again, as if enchanted. My mind was filled with an unknown whirlwind of feelings - from anxious trepidation to inexplicable desire. It seemed impossible, unimaginable... and at the same time frighteningly alluring. I could not suppress the exciting heat that flared up in the pit of my stomach, and my face was covered in a blush, reflecting the struggle between shame and all-consuming lust.
The tone of "Domination," cold and confident, sounded like a thunderclap, although addressed not personally to me, still penetrated straight to the heart. Each word, carefully honed and thought out, sounded like an unquestionable order, from which emanated power and control. And as the message had intended, that stern note caused my body to react involuntarily: my breathing quickened, my nipples tightened, and a hot tremor swept through my lower abdomen. I felt my tremors intensify as the lines calling me to serve, to obey, to remain in bondage floated before my eyes again. But despite the whirlwind of feelings that engulfed me, I chose not to respond. For several days I remained silent, experiencing the duality between an intuitive reaction and a frightening unknown.