February Update

Oh hello there! 

This will be a general life update. I am still struggling with being sick. Same old - never enough rest, I have to do everything in bursts and I get tired easily. Today I worked, got to about 3PM and had to take a nap......a 5 hour nap. Now I'm back up and finishing my word day. 

Thankfully I both work from home and I'm with a very understanding company. 

I have been doing more tests. I got a call from my doctor last week asking me to do ONE MORE round of blood work. He did see something on my last results but needed more information to gain a full picture of what was going on so he could prescribe something. 

Follow up appointment is on February 9th. Hopefully, I'll get some answers, from the last call it seems like it might be multiple things at once which would compound symptoms and make it harder to diagnose. He did mention that even though he could diagnose something, that doesn't mean Long Covid isn't playing a part as well so he's uncertain if I'll see a full recovery even if I'm on medication moving forward. FUN!

Here's a collection of moments over the past little while that I wanted to share with you guys: 

I've been thinking about aging and my face a lot lately and also how your identity changes over time/with age. 

I got botox for the first time in December for my "11" wrinkle (the one right between your eyes). That one wrinkle has been bothering me for years - YEARS! When I finally bit the bullet and got it done I was super pleased with the results. My nurse was amazing and I would both recommend her and go back. She wasn't pushy at all but was very all about giving you the most information possible.

The conversation was really interesting. Instead of talking about everything that *could* be done, she had a conversation about what was bothering me and why. I only pointed out one wrinkle and it was because I saw it as a "negative" wrinkle. One you get when you scowl or squint when the sun is too bright. 

It wasn't until that conversation that I realized that I saw certain facial lines as negative and others that are positive. Like the lines under my eyes from when I laugh and smile and my cheeks move up. I didn't want those erased, I didn't give them much thought at all. The only line I had an issue was, was the one that I deemed "negative". It was very interesting, even though she said she had never heard anyone speak about their wrinkles that way. 

When I was in art school ALL of my work revolved around identity and the body. I recently went to the Art Gallery of Ontario and all that work came rushing back to me. It might be a good idea to delve back into it with fresh eyes at almost 40. 

The quiet, soft, in-between moments are still my fav.

Nothing else to say about this, I just liked this photograph and wanted to share it.

I got to spend last week with Biggie and this happened. She normally only sits on the couch with me when I'm eating something. But this girls night (when her dad was working) she crawled up and sat between my legs while I watched a documentary. At one point she used my foot as a pillow for her chin.

Moments like this have my entire heart. 

And one more for good measure because she's such a majestic beast. She has her winter weight on and she's a little chunkier than normal. It'll all come off when she's outside more in the spring/summer but I think she's so cute and portly. 

Seriously, no one takes more pictures of someone else's dog than I do. I love her so much. 

I went to the art gallery get ready for me to gush over everything I saw. The AGO is seriously one of my favorite places in the world. 

Let me introduce you to artist, Kent Monkman. Kent is a Canadian artist of Cree ancestry who is well known for his provocative reinterpretation of romantic North American landscapes in a variety of mediums. Monkman is very interested in European painting and found a great opportunity to paint Indigenous experiences and histories and kind of authorize them into art history. 

He is also known for his alter-ego Miss Chief Eagle Testickle which he created to offer an Indigenous perspective on the European setters and to also present a very empowered point of view of Indigenous sexuality pre-contract.

There is a great interview with Kent that you can find here if you are interested: 

https://www.metmuseum.org/perspectives/articles/2019/12/kent-monkman-miss-chief-eagle-testickle 

This was the first time I had seen or heard of Kent's work and I've been obsessed every since!

I'll skip the rest of my commentary and simply share the photos I took of the art that moved me. 

(I literally love anything with weird faces and exaggerated bodies. The weirder the better baby!)

I want to paint more flowers. 

I JUST LOVE ART! 

Me in Yayoi Kusama's Infinity Mirror Room

INFINITY MIRRORED ROOM - LET’S SURVIVE FOREVER  features mirrored spheres suspended from the ceiling and arranged on the floor. A mirrored column inside the room invites visitors to peer into a seemingly infinite field of silver orbs.

https://ago.ca/exhibitions/yayoi-kusamas-infinity-mirrored-room-lets-survive-forever 

Nothing much more to say, this is just me being cute and taking a break while shooting for Valentine's Day. 

But to be honest, this is what I look like most days. 

Don't be fooled by the internet! 

That's it for me! HAPPY FEBRUARY FRIENDS!