Murder Drones Ch5 Progress Report #1 unfinished chapter feedback wanted
Added 2025-09-02 09:47:54 +0000 UTCI decide to try this again since more people are here now, but depending on whether I get feedback, I might just go back to posting chapters only after they are fully completed. So once again, I ask for any feedback.
Y/n's feet dragged across the ground covered in asbestos. With each step, his pants absorbed more asbestos, gradually turning a whitish-grey.
However, that wasn’t the problem; the real problem was the visibility. It was quite literally a shit show. He could hardly see a couple of meters in front of him because of the storm kicking up snow everywhere possible.
Unfortunately, he meant that literally. If he were to drop something, you could almost compare it to losing something like a TV remote, disappearing from the face of Copper 9, only to reappear a few months later in a random cereal box, like a child's toy.
“Thump”
Y/n looked down at the floor, squinting through the falling snow, trying to figure out what he had bumped into when he finally saw some skull-like features partly hidden in the snow. He didn’t scream or panic but instead rolled his eyes and sighed, then stepped over and moved on.
Sometimes, due to the storm, it wasn’t uncommon for his path to be cluttered with items that nearly tripped him over. Some of which included building debris, rocks, a body, a worker drone's dead body, or piles of dead worker drones.
Either way, the storm wasn’t making it any easier for him to find the place he was looking for. Suddenly, Y/n spotted a faint green light shining through the snow in the distance. If it's what he suspects, he might have found something to guide him to the lab since he was kinda going off of memory.
The green light was moving around before stopping nearby, as it seemed to have taken notice of him standing there watching it.
Y/n knelt on one knee and reached his hand toward the green light on the ground. At first, it stayed still, but soon it quickly crawled toward him, leaping onto his hand and climbing up along his arm before stopping just short of his face.
It tilted its head toward him, causing its little antennas to sway to the right, then suddenly emitted a blue light that scanned his face, moving up and down.
After completing the scan, it jumped off his body, landed on the floor, and turned back to look at him, happily jumping and running in circles around him to show its joy at seeing one of the staff return after what he thought would be 18 years.
Y/n smiled faintly, watching the bug before it jumped onto the palm of his hand. Y/n then stood back up on his own two feet, while gently stroking the bug, which caused its little wings to flutter.
Y/n: Yes, it's good to see you, little buddy. Would you be willing to take me back to compound 4v?
It did a small flip as if agreeing with his request, then jumped off his hand and onto the floor. It started running ahead but paused to look back, making sure Y/n was still following closely behind it.
“THUMP”
Y/n’s body jolted, surprised by the sudden noise behind him. He quickly turned to look back in the direction he came from. His eyes searched the area, but the storm made it difficult to see. The sound was similar to when he had bumped into the skeleton's head.
Y/n took a slight defensive stance as his hand reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a handy-dandy Jc Jesson wack wrench. Unlike last time, he wasn’t trying to get fucked over again by that crazy disassembly drone. There was just something about that drone that seemed familiar but also filled him with fear from how crazy she was.
Y/n slowly stepped back while maintaining his stance, narrowing his eyes briefly before quickly turning around and chasing after the Keybug.
He had suspected for some time that something or someone was following him since he left the bunker, but as he traveled across the city, the feeling of being watched grew stronger by each hour.
Y/n kept running for a while until he noticed a shadow being cast from an overhead building he was approaching. His pace quickened as he passed the keybug, which he swiftly grabbed.
It turned to face him as a green text screen appeared close to his face.
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Keybug: :3
Keybug: Turn power on?
Keybug: Show NFT
Keybug: KILL YOURSELF (discount has been discontinued)
Keybug: Open the main door to the location.
Open main door: Y/n
Keybug: compound 4V is in range. Please enter the password associated with this location.
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.
.
.
Fuck
That was the only thought running through his mind: it had been so long since he last visited this place that he forgot the password.
He paused to consider what the other humans had written before an idea came to him.
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NULL Void: Y/n
Keybug: Loading… Loading… Loading… Password accepted… error, no power. Better luck next time. L, bozo :3
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Y/n stared in disbelief at the response, thinking, 'What the hell kind of response is that?' but he quickly shook it off as he got closer to the place, and the building slowly came into view.
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Restart generators to the building: Y/n
Keybug: Loading… Loading… beginning generators restart program. Error: Slight system failures have been detected; maintenance is required.
Is opening the doors one of them??? Y/N
Keybug: (-_-) No door systems are fully operational!
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Y/n was gasping for air, standing in front of a pair of locked doors. The only way in was through the keybug. He cautiously glanced over his shoulder, watching for any movement. His body trembled with fear of whatever was chasing him. Then he looked ahead again and kept typing into the small 3D keyboard of the keybug.
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Open the goddam doors then!: Y/n
Keybug: Loading… door opening sequence for compound 4V has been initiated. Please stand away from doors if you don’t want to get your hands crushed.
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In front of him, the locked door began to produce a loud mechanical sound, resembling gears and bars shifting from the other side.
Y/n stood there anxiously, eyes shifting from the ground to the sky. His grip on the wrench tightened, ready for an attack at any moment, but... there was nothing. Even as the final gear sound echoed and the doors opened, nothing happened.
He gradually turned his back to the door, stepped back cautiously, and kept his guard up before entering the building.
While walking deep inside the building, Y/n suddenly jumped when the green screen reappeared in front of his face from the keybug, causing him to shift his focus away from the doorway.
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Keybug: Please rate your experience and leave a tip below. *small letters* The minimum tip is $45.
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Y/n sighed while rolling his eyes.
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Close main door: Y/n
Keybug: Closing door... Error: additional power is needed. Please head to genorter to redirect power.
Ugh… take me to the genorter: Y/n
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The keybug did a cool backflip, then turned and leaped away from his hand, darting down a hallway ahead of him as he followed closely behind. As he moved farther from the open main door, the surroundings grew darker by the second.
Y/n searched through his many pockets, feeling each one until his hand grasped something hard, long, and with a round tip at the end. When he pulled it out, it was exactly what he expected: a flashlight.
Y/n glances at the reader.
He turned his focus back onto the dark hallway as he shined the light from his flashlight onto his path, occasionally passing rooms and shining the light into them.
Nothing particularly unusual in any of them, aside from the usual collapsing rooms, storage areas, and a welcome sign for a guy named Leon. Oh, and a Gremlin crouching down in the corner of one of the rooms…
Wait, what?
Comments
Yeah that the type of stuff I want to get worked out like grammar and wording
iNoahgaming
2025-09-03 17:46:47 +0000 UTCOn part of closing the doors and getting a response, the word generator is messed up
Dunkmasterjohn
2025-09-03 15:20:11 +0000 UTCSorry to say that I don’t know much about this series to clarify, any issues. So if anything I can only help with some wording to be better.
Dunkmasterjohn
2025-09-03 15:12:25 +0000 UTC