Day 111 - Success Doesn’t Define You

Much of this hinges on how you define success. In my book, if you enjoy what you do, and you can get your basic needs met, you are a success.

Susan Becker

Maybe Edward knows an online computer tutor?

Lisa Focus

So funny:) Some of the best nurses I know failed the boards several times. I would have so many of them take care of my baby (too old now)so family member. I am in NICU. My Dad says everyone pulls their pants the same way. Oh my gosh many honorary PHD's at my daughters graduation at Liberty this weekend. You see my Dad is a really smart,not formally educated man who created a patent in his seventies. I do not even have to think about the equality of the housekeeping, equipment techs, or the Neonatologists. SAME:) people. You help me so much, and Edward is the best. I am so proud of you! It does matter, and you matter to me and many others. So now I will learn to code ROFL...........BUTTERFLY but I am serious for now:) Great job!!!!!!!!

Lisa Focus

I love you two!!!!!! You are awesome:) LOL

Lisa Focus

I have to admit I missed the significance of the pronouns? I was fortunate to have an English teacher as a mum however I'm pretty set on the they/them/their/there so I was wondering if someone could enlighten me? Seems significant just don't know why :)

SirMonkeyboy (Andrew)

That'd be great actually, I just had a quick look at the book with shipping to Australia is pretty pricey (I'm lucky enough to be on a carers pension so I can concentrate on my daughter's needs but it doesn't much stretch to the $80+ with shipping and conversion fees.) Thanks for the reply Jessica :)

SirMonkeyboy (Andrew)

Lacey that meant so much to me, thank you! I always hoped someone would award me an honorary degree after all the hours and years I’ve put in ☺️ And yeah I found out recently there’s a term for what I do — science communication. And it’s becoming increasingly important as the discrepancy between what researchers know & what the average person knows grows. I’m hoping to go to a sci comm camp in November to learn more :)

How to ADHD

Oh wow, wish you could have been there! But Tom wrote a book with his mom called “Come to Life!” which we got, I’m sure a lot of insights are in there & I can share some in one of the vlogs if you like :)

How to ADHD

That’s a beautiful story! And yeah I agree, not enough focus on our strengths — I’m REALLY hoping to change that. There are so many wonderful things in my life that wouldn’t have happened were it not for an impulsive decision ☺️

How to ADHD

Aww no that was at my mom’s house, my aunt makes the most beautiful quilts. I, on the other hand, knit blankets that become scarves when I get bored of knitting 😂 The vlogs will be here anytime you wanna hang out, don’t worry about being behind :) I get to see comments on old vids pop in too.

How to ADHD

It’s true. The first time I heard the term ableism it seemed so weird to me. Now I get it. And omg my brain has trouble with the pronoun thing, too many years of English telling me “they” is only used in x context, so I re-recorded the vlog 5 times to get it right 😂 I’m starting to get it in my brain though. I know it’s important.

How to ADHD

And again I paused the video to respond to something, then watched to the end ;) My husband is one of the people who, when I want him to watch something, "Is this one of those random YouTubers, or is this someone who is an expert in the field?" I need to remind him that sometimes "random YouTubers" ARE experts in the field because they HAVE the condition and have learned coping first hand, and are much more aware of what works than someone who is trying to 'help' from the outside without understanding the frustrations. But also that (as he's aware), many therapists and psych majors ended up there because they wanted to understand what is up with them, so being on YouTube as someone who is living this does not mean that they aren't also someone with an education in this :P Never be down on yourself for not having that formal education. You have a tireless passion for getting what you say RIGHT, for understanding, for challenging yourself. You have (at least) a Master's equivalent in ADHD therapies, and as someone with a Masters I can say that without hesitation :P Thank you for all that you do, and you deserve your success in every way <3

LadyGrndr(Lacey S)

As a single dad of a child with autism & adhd and having adhd myself, I'd have loved to see this panel - wrong side of the world though :)

SirMonkeyboy (Andrew)

I listened to the Vlog and your story reminded me of a comment I made to someone. I was working at Wendy’s part time to put my way through a Technical College. One night, I was working with a girl that was 2 years older than I was from High School. The store was closed and we were cleaning up for the night and I was in the walk in refrigerator. This girl I knew came in asked me a question. She asked if I thought she was crazy because of the way she was acting at work. I wish I could remember exactly what I said to her that night. However, I said something to the effect of who is to say you are not the normal person and everyone else abnormal. In other words, who decides what is considered normal and not normal. We are all normal in our own different way. I was always picked on for being weird and crazy in High School. I remember my outbursts when I worked as a lifeguard at the local pool, because I could not control my impulsivity. I got to the point I did not care what other people thought. Needless to say I had very few friends then and now, with a horrible self-worth. Today, it bothers me that I have to take medication to be what is considered “normal” and to be able to handle situations so I appear to be “normal”. My ADHD brain helps me troubleshoot problems faster and think outside the box to resolve issue or work around roadblocks. I can see things that no one else sees. The sad part is that no one ever sees it or realizes these things. I got a verbal warning at one job a little over a year ago for getting called at 4AM in the morning and helped a co-worker with an issue. All because I replied to one email and should have waited (Have I mentioned impulsivity issues). Do not get me wrong, I wish I had the medication when I was in school, or taking classes later in life. As I have gotten older, it has become increasing harder to deal with certain people or things. I have two failed marriages and trying to keep my current relationship a float. I knew Jessica would do well, because she always talks from her heart.

I loved hearing your end-of-day reflections! They are powerful and lovely! (Confession: I'm 110 days behind from when I signed up. But that's ok. It just means I get to binge-watch your journey to this vlog post, which will be fun for me and my wonderful 15-year-old girlie who is just like me, which is why we are struggling to learn how to ADHD together. ... Also, I love the beautiful quilt behind you, and could not stop looking at it, and would love to see a pic of the whole thing someday. Perhaps that's on a previous post. I'll find out!) (And I second the kudos on your conscious effort to use the correct pronouns!) Thank you again!

Sue Sylwester-Rice

Thanks for the insights Jessica. It's very true, I think there is so much internalised ableism that we don't even recognise but we do have to over come. You deserve that award, the work you do is very important even if it doesn't change your worth as a human. P.s. Good job on the pronouns :) it made me happy

AHuggingSam