November Bonus: Big Victories!

I have listened to this episode multiple times and never get over that story about the table. I have been yelling for a long time that consent is fake in medical contexts and doctors operate on a rape culture morality, and that anecdote just lays it so bare. Her mom declined consent. They asked, and she said no. She didn’t just not say yes (which should have been enough!); she actively said no. And they did it anyway. Blatantly, right in front of her, like it was nothing. I get a lot of shit from people who are scandalized that I don’t think medical providers are inherently benevolent and prosocial, but I think history will vindicate me. They’re cops, not firefighters.

ES

I don’t know how new it is, but I live in the Bay Area and I’ve found I think plenty of exam tables and even the adjustable moveable hospital beds are able to weigh you, unfortunately. In spring of 2023 I was weighed using the exam table for the first time, it physically lifted me up and put me back down to weigh me which was weird (I did consent). November 2024 my portable hospital bed was able to weigh me as well. Plenty of doctor’s offices still use regular step-on scales and thankfully I am asked whether or not I want to be weighed and have the option to say no if I want. I say I don’t know how new this is because I’m listening to this years later in 2025 because I FINALLY got on the Patreon after listening to almost every episode available on Spotify, many of them 2 or 3 times.

Serena Mc

The way Aubrey says “MAYHEM!!” at 5:08 - I want that as my ringtone

neutrino

I attended a 6 week Mental Health Recovery/Maintenance Course there were 3 professionals leading (qualifications galore and lived experience between them) and I was one of 6 participants. Ideas of how to feel better/boost mood included Lose Weight (also included volunteering which I am not opposed to but the framing was so gross). I politely but passionately argued against its inclusion, calling out how unacceptable it was and why, they agreed with me and removed it. It frustrated me that 3 trained professionals never even questioned the inclusion. It was before I listened to this podcast but not long after I'd read Fearing the Black Body, my little anxiety self was worried I was being difficult but I am glad I did and after listening to Maintenance Phase I think I'd be much more confident/well equipped to call out this specific kind of thing going forward.

Kelcii

I informed my doctor that I’ve struggled with eating disorders, and they always ask me at my appointments whether I’d like to talk about my weight. I say “no,” they check a box, and we move on :) It’s something I’m very grateful for

Krystal Hooper

I don't think I've ever cried during the show before, but hearing Mike talk about the email his dad sent him made me well up. I don't expect emotional content from y'all, but it was a great surprise.

Eli Doyon

Once you become a cop, you are corrupted. Even if you start off wanting to help people. The people who remained true to those morals have all been pushed out of the police force because its very essence is using violence to control the working class. There is no such thing as a good cop. If they were good, they would take one look around and quit immediately. Sincerely, someone who's been assaulted by multiple cops and then told by other cops "that wasn't me, I wasn't there, that's not my fault, we're not all like that" while they assisted in processing the erroneous charges their fellow goons placed on me. (PS charges dropped bc they were lies)

Lydthekidmaybenowmid

I have an anti-oppression consulting business and I was informed by the organizers of a college conference on diversity, equity and inclusion topics that I was the first person to submit a proposal on anti-fatness in the history of the conference (15+ years). It went well including a similar conversation about working from the inside or outside. We had some police who also taught future cops attend who asked questions about improving training (re: intersections of anti-fatness, ableism and anti-Blackness) and I said that I can understand why they would want to do that but I believe that the system cannot be reformed and they respected that response.

Amy Harth

Awww I'm late to the party but at the age of 32 I've finally drawn a hard boundary with my boomer almond mum that I'm not going to tolerate any weight or body chat any more. That was partly down to MF and partly down to watching loads of content from Michelle Elman in the UK. She's amazing and so are you guys :)

Dave

This was so delightful. It gave me a sense of community and reminded me to advocate for myself/speak up when i need to. Hearing the mom victories was so heartwarming. Michael going “Elon no” 😂

Julia

This just made me think of when I was recently talking to a friend who just had a baby and this show gave me the fire to jump in when she was down about her mom being shitty abt not trying hard enough to lose the baby weight THREE WEEKS AFTER BIRTH. Thank you for giving me the idea that it’s important to step into those moments and help and not pretend they aren’t happening

Gayyyyyyybriel

I'm going to go "Elon, noo" every time twitter pulls another glitch which is every alternate day because of this episode

Suradha

WAYYYY late to this game but huge shoutout to you for delving into the urbanism/fatphobia crossover—i work in urban development and have always clocked how obesity is just dropped in among the rationales for safer streets when it does not need to be mentioned at all! This was galvanizing for me to push back on that

Eillie Anzilotti

I could listen to 25 episodes of just this. What an absolute delight, and I think “chaos gremlin” is what I’ll be bringing to the party in 2024

Loved the bit about "now this is going to be a NEGATIVE" interaction. My husband and I say it too each other all the time.

I survived by just beginning to open my eyes. Just a long way to go but trying to re learn

I missed the call for victories but this one is a wee bit... Well. Another teacher at work (I work at a jr high) made a comment about how it was so great that I had lost weight and I immediately said "Oh, I'm relapsing into eating disorder behavior." It was incredibly awkward, but I'm glad I made it weird. Middle school fucking sucks and all of my kids already feel weird and awful about their bodies because puberty is terrible, they don't need to hear about weight loss or dieting or anything like that when they're in algebra. Algebra is bad enough.

Rachel Cumbee

I love that they estimated Mikes weight. PROVES it's meaningless. You'd never guess blood pressure.

Trudi

Thanks to this episode, I just checked the free little library in the Starbucks I’m at. I’m pleased to report it was already diet book free! (Also someone seems to have bought a ton of little coloring packs for kids and that’s so sweet!)

ES

This was amazing. And I had a victory while I was listening to it. I need to buy a bathing suit for the first time in several years, for an upcoming trip. I decided I was going to approach measuring my body in a kind and matter-of-fact way, so I can order swimsuits to try on. I don’t feel bad about learning what size I should order, and I’m hopeful that I’ll find something I can feel comfortable in it. Because my body is my home.

Ashley Maready