RAW SCRIPT : [ASMR] Crazy Circus Clown Vampire Kidnaps a Hunter [M4A] [Vampire Feeding] [Deep Male Voice]

▶ Original Upload Date: August 23rd, 2023

*crickets Sfx*

Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey! Ladies, Gentlemen, and all other humans, give a warm welcome to our lucky winner, the infamous Vampire Hunter of Salem. Tell them what they’ve won, Johnny! Well well well, it looks like they’ve won a permanent stay for one in our personal version of the Circus Circus Hotel and Casino! Any words for the people back at base you’ll never see again?! [brief pause] Oh poo, you’re no fun. I was truly waiting for a witty retort like James Bond. You’re like the bootleg version, Lames Dumb! I mean, hell, even Batman had some comebacks. Hahah I guess since you’ve been beaten by simple circus folk, you haven’t had time to rehearse. Lucky for you, my sister and I have been in the biz for 200 years now. So, sit back and enjoy my personal one man show until my sister arrives. For I am the one, the only, The Great Boris Von Alucard! [brief pause] Hahaha, why am I doing this? Dumbledore asked calmly. Well, geez…it could be any number of reasons. Boredom, Daddy Issues, Childhood trauma, being forced into the vampire lifestyle by our grandmother the list goes on. But hey, I managed to…jump through plenty of hoops…in order to establish myself and my circus as one of the top performing in the country. But let’s not get off track and address the…elephant in the room haha. How on Satan’s green earth did you think you would be able to land a hit on me? You realize that all of our performers and staff are vampires right? And not only that, you’re famous. Your face is plastered on more posters and billboards than Mormons and their god in Utah. [brief pause] Haha what the hell ever. You disappoint me. You have all this experience, you show up to my famous circus act, and yet, why now do you decide to act like a clown? Hell at least I get paid for it. Granted I don’t make that much…you could say I…work for peanuts…compared to you, but yet you decided with all that money, to buy all three of the front row seats that are so close to me, you could literally see the…”tricks up my sleeve”, and you show up by yourself. What? Couldn’t afford to hire two volunteers from the audience to pretend to be your friends? [brief pause]

Oooo…that such a burn, last time I heard that I fell off the trapeze rope. Let’s cut the crap, I’ve been talking your ear off so much, I’m feeling a bit parched. Normally we'd say, “let’s all go to the lobby and get ourselves some snacks”, but lucky for me, my snack came to me. *vampire feeding for a while* Ahhh it’s like drinking our overpriced cherry slushies. [brief pause] What do I plan on doing with you? Well…jeez…I think by now you would know how this plays out. Hunter shows up to un-alive the head vampire, head vampire gets the upper hand, head vampire then kidnaps said Hunter, Hunter is then kept as a blood bag for both the head vampire and his sister. It’s your typical basic scenario. Not quite sure which type of Wattpad fan-fiction ending written by an edgy 15 year old girl you were expecting. [brief pause] Oh…your friends will come for you? You mean the same friends that DIDN’T come WITH you tonight? And who may they be? Because the last I checked, the police work for me. The police chief was caught with one of my…late night entertainers…with his wife and my daughter at home. Ever wonder why they did the interview at his fancy mansion during the evening? Hahaha. [brief pause] Ooo then there’s so much to do! But first *vampire feeding on other side*   AHHH refreshing as the waters in Fiji. Now, about those friends of yours. I would love to meet them. It’s going to be nice seeing the people I’ll get to turn into vampires and watch them slowly drain you JUST until the point of death. And then, slowly but surely, recruit your entire organization. I could use the bodies. With my geniuses', we could be the first vampires to put Circ-de-sole to shame. And, it would be all thanks to you, Hunter. Instead of stakes to stab our kind in the heart with, you’ll be greatly rewarded with a job cooking them for our high-value patrons. [brief pause] Haha I’m mad am I…haha we’re all mad down here Alice. The difference is that I embrace my madness. You, on the other hand, are going to be driven TO madness by all the fun I have planned for you. You may have that ring on your finger to signify your allegiance to your organization, but I, the great Boris Von Alucard…am the Ring Leader! [brief pause] Oh…is that right? Well then, I guess you’d better rest up then. Wouldn’t want to be too exhausted for the grand finale? It’s going to be filled with thrills, chills, and spills. So much to experience…so much to…sink your teeth into! *vampire feeding for a while* Ahhh… awww…poor baby…well, you get some rest and when you wake up, my sister Hayley and I will be there to get you ready. Congrats! You’re our final act and you’ll want to look pretty for your friends when they show up right? Hahaha…pathetic human.