Part 2: Monthly Livestream

Q22: 03.02. I really struggle with empathy and taking on other people's pain and problems. Any recommendations on how to set some boundaries with myself or how to turn my empathy down a notch or two?! Q23: 10.21. I’ve been trying to work on my feelings of loneliness. I wanted to talk about it with my therapist, in today's session, but I just couldn’t say it, I was too embarrassed. I’ve been thinking to write it down for her, but that seems even more embarrassing to me. I definitely trust my therapist, but really struggling to start this subject with her. Q24: 13.47. I am an LCSW in Arkansas and have a private practice. I was wondering if you could give me any advice on how to become more profitable in the "Patreon" and online world? Q25: 19.21. If I recover how will I replace the praise I get for the way I look? My whole life I’ve been praised for my appearance, especially during this relapse when I get stopped everywhere I go and complimented, strangers ask to take pictures of me, everyday I’m constantly being reinforced that I look good this way. I spent way too much of my life being invisible, how am I supposed to go from getting complimented all the time to being invisible again? How do I give up that kind of praise? Q26: 26.05. My therapist and I are still working on getting me into a more stable state, to then go back into trauma work. We’re working on emotion regulation, which is still quite frustrating and pretty difficult for me (and therefore obviously a good idea to work on, even though I don’t like to admit it). My Job is extremely stressful (due to factors beyond my control), which is one of the reasons we had to take a step back in the first place (from trauma confrontation), and (when I’m feeling) everything just feels super overwhelming right now. I know I need to find another job (it’s costing my peace -> it’s too expensive). Also, I need to start reaching out to my friends again, or even start making new friends, because I’ve gotten myself pretty isolated over the past few years. So yeah, easy peasy – make friends, reconnect, overcome anxiety and stop feeling like a burden, unlovable and all that fun stuff.. oh yea, and then there’s that pandemic..Sex is still off the table, my boyfriend is still a saint, and I’m frustrated with myself because I feel so stuck. I feel like I should start exposing myself instead of avoiding it all, because it’s getting increasingly difficult – but I’m just too exhausted. I know cognitively that I’m being too hard on myself, that it’s progress – not perfection 😉 and everything takes its time but I just feel rather hopeless and tired of it all. I’m not even sure if I have a question or just needed to rant. I guess I’m open to any suggestions or simply some reassuring words. Q27: 32.22. I’m starting IVF soon, I’m just going through some preliminary tests and I’ve been told to lose weight. They focus a lot on BMI (I HATE BMI) and I’ve found some of my old thought patterns about weight coming back up. I’ve never had an eating disorder, but in my 20’s I had a weight goal and I was extremely unhealthy in reaching it and was so unhappy at that time. When my dad died I realised that life is fucking short and I just ate whatever I wanted and exercised when I wanted and I’ve been happy with that since. I am overweight, but my bloods show I’m healthy - I’m not insulin resistant, my cholesterol is fine etc and I am fit. But with this focus on BMI I have really slipped with my thoughts again. This is a time where I should be nourishing my body to get ready for pregnancy, but instead I’m calorie restricting and stressing over every little piece of food I put in my mouth. I feel like if the IVF doesn’t work it will be my fault because I didn’t try hard enough to lose weight. I don’t know how to stop these thoughts and my bad habits...can you help? Q28: 39.34. So update on the whole dating app girl thing. She ghosted me, and to be honest I don't know how to feel about it. As we've talked before I felt overwhelmed with her being quick in sending unsolicited pictures because of past trauma. Well because I felt overwhelmed after yet another photo out of the blue during work, I didn't message her for 2 days. Which I thought was reasonable, it's not like we were dating, and I responded to her last message after she sent it on that day. But I don't know, did I break some unwritten law of dating where I should be messaging someone everyday? Another thing was it always felt like a one-sided conversation with me asking about her, and her never really wanting to have a real conversation. Like I said, I don't know how to feel about it all. Should I be happy that I got away from someone who didn't respect boundaries, should I be sad that another prospective relationship got away, should I not feel anything? Heck was I wrong taking the break from messaging her because I needed it? Ahh this dating thing is so confusorating (confusing+frustrating)! Q29: 48.11. Deep depression and high anxiety sucks. Therapy has become something I have learned to embrace. Without it, I’m not sure how to manage it all. Today, it was REALLY REALLY hard. We dug deep into some of my dark thoughts. She pointed out how when I first began therapy, at the mention of even just the word “suicide” I disassociated. And now, as she pointed out, I’m able to open up more about it. I mean, I pretty much spent a full hour engaged in my “dark place” today. I guess my question is, “how do I know that it is not alarming that I’m being more open about it?” Because I started replaying the whole thing in my head following the session and started to feel worried that I opened up too much. When is feeling “safe” to discuss it not alarming? I ask, because right now I’m hearing a lot of sirens with things I’m becoming more willing to bring to the surface (I’m not about to say it’s things I’m becoming more “comfortable” with bringing to surface!)...I’m everything BUT THAT!! Q30: 54.50. So my seizures start in the right frontal lobe of my brain. As I learned from AKA, depression and anxiety kinda live in the frontal lobe, which explains why I get extra depressed and anxious after seizures. What are some extra self-care measures I can take to lessen my environmental/seasonal depression and anxiety? Q31: 59.29. I have bipolar II and am struggling opening up about it due to the stigma. I would like to open up about it at work but don't know if it's the best decision. Do you have any advice when it comes to disclosing your mental illness at work? Q32: 1.03.44. I think I've just snapped out of a dissociative state...that lasted nearly a week. I feel like I was on autopilot the whole week. I had an appointment yesterday but I was completely numbed out....and now I know why!! When my psychologist asked me why I think I had a breakthrough with my eating disordered patterns over the last week...couldn't workout why I didn't feel the need and it was because I was already numb...reality was too hard. So my question is, should I email my therapist the above information as I've never worked it out before now. Is it important?! Or do I wait for my next appointment. The only problem is that it's two weeks away...as I'm away next week. Q33: 1.10.35. Hi Kati! So I just found out that I am going to have a support worker for a few hours every week starting soon. Though to be honest, I’m not 100% sure what they do and how they will be able to help. From your perspective, how can support workers help someone with CPTSD, MDD and avoidant personality disorder? What would be the best use of both of our time?

Katie K