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Kati Morton
Kati Morton

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Monthly Livestream Part 2!!

Come hangout as I answer the last few questions!! xoxo 

Monthly Livestream Part 2!!

Comments

Great live stream thank you all

Natalie Hilton

I keep missing these due to work.

Christina Rose

Thank you, Keeper of the Timestamps.

Ray Wood

Q17. 02.49 - Does it make me "resistant to therapy" if I feel uncomfortable when therapists say things like "that must have been so hard for you" or "that sounds terrible". Q18. 10.18 - My question today is if you know anything about having mixed features. I am diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with mixed features and I know what it is but it’s also very confusing to me. Like I just had an episode last week and my mood went from 0 to 100 in a day and I impulsively spend a lot, like a plane ticket, shopping, etc. My psychiatrist says it isn’t as serious as mania or hypomania and I’m just wondering what happened to me during that period then if it wasn't that. There’s not a lot about it online so I’m just wondering if you’ve heard of it and have had clients who have it. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Q19. 18.52 - I was diagnosed with gastroparesis and SMAS in April. Do you have any tools or tips I might be able to use to help better connect and accept my reality so I can continue my path to recovery? (My focus is still pretty bad for journaling and mindfulness which might be part of the problem?) I see therapist 2x a week and dietitian 1-2x a week. So I do have a solid treatment team backing me and letting me continue to do this outpatient even though it’s snail pace. Q20. 24.13 - Last month I told you about how I can’t get along with my therapist in the BPD php. I tried to address it but I don’t think they truly understood what I intended to say. I’m halfway through the program now but feel stuck at the beginning because there just isn’t any way for me to open up no matter how hard I tried. To the other people in my team it’s easier to talk to but whenever it comes to the therapist I just wall off completely. All I do is shrug and I sound annoyed even though it’s not intended. I guess that’s the frustration I have with my self why I sound so annoyed? Also I noticed that I’m terribly jealous of the other patients. The problem is, the jealousy turns into self hatred which then puts me into a negative spirale and all I can think about is the easy way out and quit the program. But I can’t just run away from my problems now, can I ? What are your thoughts on this? I’d guess to tell the therapist just how I wrote it down for this question HOWEVER I’m just too ashamed to tell them. Do you have any tips for this situation? Also, is it normal to be jealous of the other patients, I usually am not the jealous type? Q21. 28.43 - I started going to a suicide bereavement group a few weeks ago, for my best friend who passed last year. Ive now realised how much I had been surpressing a lot of how I was truly feeling to support others.. so I feel overwhelmed with all of the emotions that have come up. Is it normal for all of this to feel worse before it gets better? Q22. 33.59 - How do I start to fix a relationship with my spouse that has been slowly falling apart due to the complexities of trauma and ptsd? I know I need to talk to him, but it all seems so overwhelming and every time I convince myself that today is the day I’m going to start the conversation with him, I can never seem to follow through. Just never seems like the right time and I just go into shut down mode instead. I don’t know why this is so hard for me. How do I start the healing process with him? How does one start a hard conversation like this without completely shutting down? Can I even turn this around? Q23. 37.30 - Wiithin the last two weeks’ the relationship to my father was on my mind a lot. I used to put my Dad up on a pedestal, he was my hero and role model and I probably made some major life decisions subconsciously in favor of things I supposed to make him proud (job path I chose, major I studied, ..). I did know that there was something missing and that I wish he would show more interest in me. I’m still not really wanting to accept it, but it seems to become more and more clear to me that I am wishing for a relationship that never existed and he might just not be interested or capable of what I need from him. I know I need to grief the relationship I’m still hoping for and need to figure out whether I can be ok with the little he seems to be capable of giving or if this is too painful and I need to cut him out of my life. Kinda making me an orphan with both parents still being alive. I’m also still trying to figure out whether I want to talk to him about it (and ask what kind of relationship he wants), and with which expectations I would do that. I don’t want to repeat this rollercoaster of emotions and suffering with my Dad now. Q24. 45.30 - M\y therapist said last week that she knows how much I want to move forward but she can feel me digging my heels in. She’s not wrong. Since she said that I notice it constantly. Within seconds of getting excited about something or feeling even the smallest amount of joy, it’s like something comes over me that tells me “absolutely not. We aren’t allowed to feel that” and all feeling shuts down. Honestly, it happens with any kind of extreme emotion. Not just excitement and joy. I feel it happen with anger and sadness too. What can I do to stop digging my heels in so I can move forward? Q25. 50.00 - For as long as I can remember I've been suffering from states in which I'm thinking about doing things rather than doing things. During these states, I feel detached from my body and I'd be inclined to think that this is somehow related to PTSD. During these states my thoughts tend to be very repetitive, usually I'm planning something. Sometimes I snap out when someone walks into the room, other times it just gets later in the day and all of a sudden I "wake up" and am able to function normally for a while. I don't really know if this is solvable. Q26. 55.00 I have always been curious about what goes on behind the scenes between sessions. Do therapists leave notes in a chart at the end of the day, or between sessions? What are the important things to write down? Do you think about your clients between sessions? Plan things you want to say to them? Do you have an idea of what you might want to say to a client before the session starts? I know not everything the therapist does happens in the room. What happens outside? Q27. 1.02.59 - Is it possible to be happy and functioning while having an eating disorder? Q28. 1.06.56 - I have been back on track with recovery for nearly a week after having a messy two weeks of slip ups. But I'm in a place at the moment where I am so close to giving up on recovery. The battle to fight the urges are constant and there is just no 'feeling' of satisfaction with recovery. I'm just waiting for it to get easier and feel a bit better. Anyway this is where I am at...not really a question just some encouragement...maybe some journal prompts ideas?! Q29. 1.10.30 - When I think of myself as a child I remember being very anxious a lot of the time. I was constantly worried that something bad would happen to one of my parents or other family members, which I now believe was an early manifestation of OCD. I was terrified to talk to adults or make anyone mad, and my “people pleasing” stared very young. When I was not at home, I had to be perfect, never complain, always take what was given to me and do whatever I was asked. As a result of this (I think), I was very irritable when I was at home and would often melt down over little things. How do I stop feeling ashamed of how I acted as a child? Q30. 1.14.54 - It is DONE! I have finished my counselling degree (waiting to graduate and get my marks but I know it is over). I'm also finding this Twitch gaming streaming is going really well. I want to make a proper thing of it. I want to build what you have built on YouTube but with games that highlight mental health REALLY well and I play them through and explain what is happening. I also want to read books to people as I'm still a librarian and my viewers have requested this and give basic mental health advice within the bounds of ethics and the law. What do you think? I've got about 500 followers now and I wondered what your thoughts were should I practice counselling AND be online. What do you think of the content idea and do you think it is workable? It's not for money, it's for many passions like performing and sharing what I love with people all around the world. Q31. 1.17.38 - I wanted to ask how I could improve my perspective or self-talk regarding feelings I've been having about being a burden. I wanted to ask about any thoughts or recommendations you have for someone with bipolar who is feeling like all they are is a burden. Q32. 1.24.00 - I’m not ready for recovery, full sobriety from everything, including weed. Will I ever be ready? It’s been rough but I’m coping as I know how - emotional isolation and unavailability from my mom and smoking weed all day, every day. Unfortunately, I can’t claim clean time, but maybe I don’t need that right now. Maybe I just need to make it through the next day. Q33. 1.26.40 - Question: I have issues with fault finding in relationships. After a lot of looking inward I’ve discovered that I, myself have patterns too. Do you have any other advice on how to help this? Q34. 1.30.30 -. Today my therapist went into a bit of why we are taking my trauma therapy so slow right now, and I get it and understand fully. But how do I know that I know that I know that she isn’t getting frustrated with my part of “slowing” things down? How do I know that she isn’t going to pop up and say “hey, we haven’t done EMDR in a while because you aren’t at place emotionally to handle it.. so when you are, look me up”. I don’t want to be left hanging bc I’m not moving forward at the right speed Q35. 1.34.18 - Is it normal for someone to struggle with speaking about their feelings in therapy. I dont normally struggle with my words but when I'm in therapy I seem to lose my words, I know I've never been very good about understanding my feelings, hello bpd brain. I've found that putting pen to paper seems to help me loads with getting my feelings out so I've found taking letters or notes into therapy really helps me but there is only so much a letter can say cause you then get into discussion in therapy about the notes you made. I seem to be able to verbalise myself on paper but saying it out loud in therapy seems to be a real struggle. Ive got a great relationship with my therapist so I know it's not her. We are currently considering bringing a whiteboard into the session to see if that helps but it seems kind of awkward and once I've dissociated I don't know how much help this will be. Is this situation normal?

Katie K


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