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Q1. 12.17 - My counsellor said to me recently that I have, as a general principle, a right to feel angry. It was me who then questioned whether I have a right to act on that anger. He said that I should avoid being either too passive or too aggressive, but should assert how I feel. The reason why we were discussing this is because there have been a few times this year when I have lost my temper. I feel very bad about these situations. He said that the problem lies not so much with the anger but with the feeling of guilt about it. However, I am scared that I could alienate more of my friends or get into trouble at work over this. What do you think of this? Q2. 20.27 - Inside I just feel Broken, Exhausted and Disposable. On the 21st Sept it will be 12 months since everything happened. Current relations work, family and others still impacted, I can't say anything without things being misunderstood, wrong or mixture..I am worried... I am having minor episodes of old FND responses and I know more wants to come out but I don't like it.. then Disassociation mixes in..Self Care is poor I just feel done feel over exposed but also trying to be honest with how things are.. really. Q3. 27.13 - What advice would you give to someone who hasn’t found something they’ve spent many years looking for or working towards? How do I keep being hopeful? Q4. 33.36 - I am now at the point that I recognize my eating disorder is going to kill me. It’s no longer something my team mentions and I ignore. I fully believe this. So recovery of the mind? It’s all so confusing. What do you recommend for people who need to just exist in these moments? At the depth of this eating disorder is trauma, but it has to be untouched until I am in a better place eating disorder wise. How the heck do you get to a better place when the reason the eating disorder exists is because of the trauma? Q5. 43.22 - My absolute best friend and chosen brother and his husband are moving to Edmonton Alberta from Toronto Ontario Canada. I am so scared that I am losing him. Do you have any tips or tricks on how to deal with this anything would help. Q6. 46.25 - Im sure you answer this in your book, but -- my question is with complex PTSD. Is it considered a mental illness, and does it stem from a repeat of the same type of trauma, or can it come from multiple different traumas, if that makes sense. And how many traumas does it take to develop CPTSD? Q7. 54.13 - How do you reconcile yourself when having to make life decisions for someone when you know that decision is contrary to what that person would want for themself? Particularly when the outcome is so unclear, but a decision has to be made. How do you manage the overwhelming guilt? Q8. 1.00.55 - I am wondering if you've ever had a client that had an intense fear of bumping into you outside of sessions? Q9. 1.10.45 - My question is about time management. I feel like I never have enough time or energy to get all the basic things done that I need to do in a week. Is it normal to feel like there is never enough time and could you give me any time-management advice? Q10. 1.10.21 - Why do I struggle to let myself enjoy good things that happen in my life? I just can’t let myself be happy for anything good that happens in my life. Do you know why this would be?? Q11. 1.27.58 - When does a stress/anxiety response go from just a physiological response to an eating disorder? Q12. 1.31.38 - I have a lengthy past in eating disorders but I have been in recovery for quite a long time and have been doing really well. After a recent break up with my long term boyfriend, life felt a bit chaotic and I started restricting again. First it was subconscious, but once I realised, I just didn’t care and continued. I do feel like I’m in control of it but I know my eating disorder voice can lie. I’m so sad that I’ve gone backwards into these habits. Can I just snap myself back out of it? Is this going to take years of work all over again? What do I do? Q13. 1.38.13 - I'm struggling with this covid business a lot as usual. Nothing has changed except most of the people gathering here when it's not really allowed are mostly vaccinated as am I. Still, I don't like it. I just got my testamur, I am a distinguished counsellor officially on a nice piece of paper. I do worry by the time I get to mental health work, I'll have forgotten anything. Looking for work in a pandemic is appalling so... will I forget everything in a year, should I wait a while and see if vaccines improve things here? Q14. 1.44.11 - While in treatment this time, it turns out one of the nurses is the brother in law of someone i know, he seemed to be pretty harmless and then he said i came up as a suggested friend on Facebook and that’s how we found out we had mutual friends. It just made me feel really gross and icky and then he came into my room again and shut the door behind him and said again how good looking i was and he was like if you get out of bed I’ll give you a cuddle….I don’t know if this is super inappropriate or just because of my complex PTSD I’m scared for zero reason…I think he is harmless but it just didn’t make me feel very good. I hope this makes sense. But is this my trauma or is this not okay or what the fuck. Now I’m scared he’s gonna do something to me. Q15. 1.46.39 - I am a private person... if I’m honest... I am probably a bit extreme with how private... the amount of anxiety I have thinking about anyone knowing anything personal about me is excruciating. After coming across Brené Brown’s work it hit me... mmmm, I may have a vulnerability issue and that might be a problem. I started seeing a therapist, it seems things are coming up and I can’t control things like I once could. My therapist has said I have cptsd, stemming from what I’m starting to see was abuse and trauma... I don’t know why the realization that things might have been traumatic or abusive was such a shock to me. I feel out of control. Is this all just “trauma?” Am I losing my mind?

Katie K