Monthly Livestream!!
Added 2022-02-15 20:54:41 +0000 UTCCome hangout as we catch up and I answer your monthly questions! xoxo
Comments
Thank you Maxime for doing the timestamps this month! Was just about to do them but seems you have beaten me to it! Thank you so so much xxx
Katie K
2022-02-19 11:07:03 +0000 UTCthankyou.
Claire
2022-02-16 10:13:04 +0000 UTCQ01 00:06:30 - TRIGGER WARNING (sexual abuse) SKIP AT 00:07:35 - Just a quick note to let you know that I finally went to the dentist and got my tooth that I broke with the candy fixed. [...] I haven't had memories in a long time so maybe I am strange but I think the gum chewing is helping me in some way as i work on my laptop at night. How do I process this memory without a therapist? How do i stop this NEED to chew gum? Q02 00:11:50 - What are the ethics/rules behind being a therapist to someone who lives in another country? What if they live in your state, but are going to school abroad, what are the rules for doing telehealth sessions with them? Q03 00:15:10 - A Quick update… I started therapy 3 weeks ago with a focus on different diary logs. [...] My weekly logs + being off work is revealing that my bigger issue now is depression related feelings, symptoms that have been masked by all the stress/hyper-vigilance trying to maintain stability. [...]I feel like there are two versions of me the one that gets on with stuff and another that is stubborn and sabotages that leads to a kind of self-abandonment. Q04 00:20:20 - Is continually explaining yourself to others, or in my case over-explaining, a symptom or an aspect of people pleasing? [...] It’s almost my knee jerk reaction to apologize and explain. How do I break this dreadful cycle? As always any insights you may have would be greatly appreciated. Q05 00:27:20 - I’ve been having very vivid dreams lately and I’ll be half asleep and continue the dream. Is that just dreaming still? Or could it be maladaptive daydreaming? Q06 00:32:20 - [...] Do therapists ever lie when they tell you your feelings are valid? Like, have you ever thought a client was being too sensitive but still told them their feelings were valid just so they would get better? I’ve lied to people about that before. I grew up in Latin America and often volunteered with people who lived in extreme poverty. They were having such a hard time that I never thought twice when telling them what they wanted to hear just to provide them with a bit of comfort. So what says therapists don’t do the same? Or do they get taught everyone’s feelings are valid regardless of how insignificant the thing they’re upset about is? And if that’s the case, is that even objective and realistic? Q07 00:37:20 - I am in the process of deconstructing my treatment team. I have been with my therapist for 7yr and while I think she is wonderful, I am stuck, and have been for quite some time. [...] If I choose to pursue trauma treatment (via a different modality) she will terminate with me. I don’t know if I am being super reactive right now and throwing a tantrum because I’m not getting what I want (trauma work) or if this is me finally having the courage to say “fuck this eating disorder, it’s time to heal mind and body!” and my eating disorder is a symptom of trauma. Does she know my mental health/crisis patterns better than I do because she’s been witness to the chaos for years now? [...] Does that mean I move on? I want to respect her boundaries and appreciate the time she has put into my care all these years, but does it sound like we are just are the end or am I just being unrealistic? Q08 00:42:50 - [...] My question for this month my one co-worker knows about both traumatic events because they both got intertwined with the work place. Now she will not look me in the eye and not even tell me about the kids and the reason their not there. [...] Yesterday, when I got back from the week and a half I have been off from the two events. I talked to her at the end of the day when all the kids were gone in a professional way because I knew she was avoiding me. I said to her that I am not going to share anything with you because it’s not professional to and I will give you boundaries. How do you feel about that? She said yes that sounds good. I said to her that I’m glad we talked about this. I asked if we are ok and she said yes and I thought it was ok. Today she did the same thing avoiding me, I tried to get her attention about something regarding a kid and she would ingorne me numerous times. [...] Should I talk to her again about this or should I leave it? [...] Q09 00:49:30 - What is your opinion on nightmares? Do they mean anything? Or is it just an over active imagination? [...] Q10 00:54:50 - How long does a lack of appetite typically last on a new antidepressant? For the past few days, I haven't been able to really eat or drink. [...] How do your clients approach eating when they physically feel like they aren't able to hold anything? This might be the one for me, because I'm feeling great otherwise! Q11 00:59:30 - I've decided to move on from my therapist after a rupture (a question I raised in last month's Patreon). What are things to ease the pain of separation from the attachment to this therapist? Do you recommend finding another therapist immediately or taking some time? I still have things I need to work on. Q12 01:02:00 - [...] I have strong a transference towards my therapist (feels like a word is missing there, sorry) and I also still have this intense fear of her being a human being.[...]. I'm suicidal most of the time and the session just make me super emotional on top of all the thoughts I have about ending my life in the first place. [...] How to handle *this situation or what the hell is going on with me. Any tips on what's going on or how my therapist and I can handle a possible similar situation in the future would be amazing. [...] Q13 01:10:10 - [...] the situation in Seattle was a much less caring environment as, my now, step father had difficulty dealing with his own emotions leading to verbal and on the rare occasions, physical abuse. Naturally, I was (and still am) craving care, love, attention and support that my parents were not giving me so I looked to people at school. This is not an issue in itself, but I believed that I needed to be sick or hurt in order to receive this care. [...] I want so bad to be around these people because they make me feel seen, comfortable and loved, but I end up pushing them away because I am so terrified that I am not enough. With these thoughts, a very time intensive job, and lack of energy/motivation at the end of the day, it has become much "easier" for me to just avoid making friends altogether which I really do not want to do. I am currently working through the grief of losing some of my childhood, trauma, shame, and inner child work with a great therapist but I was wondering if you had any tips for tackling my disorganized attachment style. I truly do want to find people I connect with but I am having trouble getting started and then not immediately isolating myself when they get too close. Q14 01:16:45 - Since last year I've broken with my dysfunctional family. My two parents are narcissists, traumatized by war and very abusive both emotional and physical. [...] I have recently found new love and am finally realizing that I am actually gay. I never felt so good and in love in my life ever before! Even though, I am making a change and trying to be free from my past... I can't help but feel guilty and ashamed day in and out about leaving my parents (because they are in need of my care and can't reach intellectually to my level) and about being gay. [...]Do you think I can ever feel truly free from guilt and shame? Am I not selfish for choosing my own happiness for cutting off my family? Will I ever be free from past trauma's and feel righteous about choosing to live the life that I truly want? Q15 01:23:30 - So more updates on my relationship…we know it’s quick, but we’re engaged and are getting married at the end of September! My question this month, do you have any advice for navigating dealing with family around this time. A lot of my family are going to be really worried because of how quick it is, while others are going to have opinions as they are homophobic for religious reasons. I just want to enjoy this time with my fiancé, but know there’s going to be a lot of opinions and comments coming from friends and family, especially those who don’t yet know I’m gay. Any advice for getting through this would be appreciated! Q16 01:28:10 - So basically I feel like for most of my life I was always working towards something and usually that involved doing things I didn't really want to do but that had to be done in order to achieve that thing. [...] But my question, I guess is whether it is normal to always need to be working towards something? Or is it ok to just enjoy life and not have anything we desperately want to accomplish? If it is normal to always need a kind of goal to work towards to , how can I find something new to work towards if I'm not sure what I want to achieve? And if not how can I get rid of this panicky, guilty, anxious feeling and just be ok with enjoying my life? Q17 01:34:15 - I was the one who talked about being attracted to older females not like in a romantic way but because of how my mother treated me and how I was getting closer to this lady at my work who is older than me [...] I want to be able to not feel like this i don’t know if what I need is better coping skills or maybe there’s something wrong with me because I cant always depend on her for help because I don’t want to bother her plus I also don’t want to continue feeling like this because it feels so outta control and scary after I snap out of it but I’m also scared of getting help since I had a bad experience with a therapist before how do I stop being so scared of initiating any steps to getting better because I really want to it’s just fear that gets in my way also sorry this is all over the place. Q18 01:40:35 - I’m struggling a lot with dissociation again. I just feel like my energy is rather low and I get overwhelmed pretty easily, sometimes the commute to work is all it takes... [...]So I’m wondering.. is this my new normal? Is it possible after all those years of just functioning and pushing through, that those are just my limits and I’m only aware of them now? That I’ll just have to learn to live with all this DPDR and I’ll simply have to work with the little energy I have? What is your experience with patients with C-PTSD and recurrent depressive disorder.. Should the dissociation more or less disappear after some time in therapy or is it common that those things will simply be a part of life? (and what amount would be considered as “ok”) Q19 01:47:35 - [...] First off I have taken steps to move forward with the lack of you know who :(. I still have some want to be with them, but I am getting more comfortable them not being in my life. On another note tangent to that situation, my coworker Spooky and I have set very clear expectations and boundaries that we are only going to be friends unlike you know who. Second is I am trying to balance trying to date and trying not to make the same mistakes I have had in the past when dating.[...]I think the better question is "How come it seems like I only feel really good highs or crushingly deep lows? Why is there no middle ground, not numbing out but not dumb happy or sad?" I notice that it's really one of the three extremes for me. I'm either really happy, uncomfortingly sad, or dead numb, with all being extremes. Q20 01:54:45 - What the best way to go about telling your support team that you feel extremely hurt and abandoned by them by their actions without ruining or impacting the future relationships and connections you have formed?
Maxime
2022-02-16 02:21:16 +0000 UTC
