Script for Legendary Chapter One, Page 18

I know you will do more things I can enjoy without reservation. Thanks for listening to my complaint. Art-wise -- I would have no problem with the current work if it were some other kind of an adventure, but the apparent early-teens appearance of the guys is not helping me at all with sex scenes. That, and the anime style you mentioned - I don't have any problem with anime style except that bishi art tends to make men too skinny. The age thing might be the big eyes and otherwise more realistic styling of the characters. I could not tell you whether the sex is tasteful, well done or appealing because it's hidden behind huge intrusive black censor bars and I am a $3 patron, not a $5 patron. And I expect that you're keeping it $5-gated because you want to support people who wish to subscribe but who don't want to see the sex all over their screens. That's consistent with the way you started the patreon. As far as the pacing issues goes (or went) there was feedback about that going way back, possibly before the first appearance of laser-not-a-bear. Not just from me. It got swarmed on by other people on Disqus who (not knowing me) declared that I should not judge a writer. That wouldn't be true even if I were not a writer. (Not published, working on that.) I saw every panel you did in that segment as necessary for the plot the way you wrote it. The pacing still felt slow, on the twice-a-week reveal. Calling it DBZ-esque was maybe exaggeration on my part but it conveyed the feeling I had as a reader. Instead of building tension, it built frustration. But it hit every necessary beat on the story arc structure and without that it would have come off as incoherent. On re-read (without the waiting) it just seems less crisp, more like an average episode of an hour-long TV show. If there'd been anything I could suggest to improve it I would have done so. The only way to do that would be to change the narrative, which was how you got to the ending. This is why writing is hard. And thanks for the explanation of cost-benefit balance -- but I don't think you were losing readers at the time. Now to put stop to any notion that you're losing me as a fan -- you would have to really make this distasteful for that to happen, and you don't seem the kind of writer to do that, nor as a producer, would you hire people so incompetent that they would do that. I read comics. Marvel lost me for years with their botched Civil War thing. DC lost me with Nude 52 (the emperor has no plot) and their devotion to emo-crappy darkity-dark story. You gave us Artifice, and TYP. You have not lost me over a little bit of pacing (I've seen much worse from comics) nor over a bit of sex drawn by a different artist. I like Bill Sienkiewicz art. I can handle different without losing my appreciation. I can wait.

Stephen Hutchison

Thank you for your thoughtful reply to my comment, Alex. I am content to wait and see what happens when Adam is drawing again.

Stephen and Peter - OK. There's a lot to unpack here, but ultimately the main response I have to say is that I hear you: you're not enjoying my choice to use Julie again as the TYP guest artist for the first chapter of this new arc while Adam takes his break, and you are currently not enjoying the story I am trying to tell (and, at least in Stephen's case, this lack of enjoyment appears to have gone on for some years now, well back into the "Engaging the Enemy" arc.) As I've said, many times, I'm not a perfect writer, and my writing is not for everyone. You're completely entitled to your own feelings about what I'm trying to do and how well I'm succeeding at it. I do constantly work to improve my abilities, both as a writer and as the creative director behind these stories. All I can hope is that I will create some work in the future you will connect with more. And, of course, I do very much appreciate your support here on Patreon. If it's truly been years since you have enjoyed my work, it's difficult for me to believe that, in the near future, I will create something radically more compelling for y'all from what you've been seeing. But "Legendary," like all my stories, has its twists and turns. Maybe it will turn in a direction that will appeal to you more. Ultimately, though, please know that I will respect whatever decision you choose to make regarding your support here. It's not just words to me when I say I want to delight my Patrons with what I'm creating. That's the experience I'd like all my Patrons to have. Obviously I won't hit the target every time for every Patron, but it sounds like you both are experiencing the opposite of delight. For what it's worth, the full 3-chapter script for the "Legendary" arc has been written and is complete and is not going to change, and the artists have been hired (and are relying on the income to make rent, so I won't be breaking my contracts with them). Maybe that information can help inform your judgment. But whatever that judgment is, please know that your support has meant a lot to me, and that I'm sincere in my hope that someday I'll create work you'll enjoy more. :) The rest of this response really is TL;DR -- like in a big way -- but there are a few specific points that are worth addressing a bit in depth. And if I can't share my more complicated thoughts with my most true readers (our awesome Patrons), who can I, right? But I won't blame you if you don't continue, especially if I've already tested your patience with the pacing of my stories. :D CENSORED PAGES Even though it sounds like you might have some ambiguity about whether you'd actually want to see the uncensored pages of this chapter at all, Stephen, I am sorry to hear about your unhappiness that I am not making the explicit pages available for all to see on the main site. That decision is not going to change. If you want to know my thinking behind that choice, I do talk about that in the notes on the <a href="http://webcomics.yaoi911.com/typ2/young-protectors-legendary-chapter-one-title-page/" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">main title page</a> under the question: "What if it makes me angry that there is some content I have to pay to see? Shouldn’t everything you make be free?" (On that page, I also talk about why I wouldn't ever show uncovered weenies on the main site, Patreon aside.) I don't imagine what I have to say will change your opinion, but at least you can see my reasons. THE PACING OF "ENGAGING THE ENEMY" None of my writing is perfect. In terms of the failings of the "Engaging the Enemy" arc, in retrospect, from a creative perspective, I actually agree that the pacing is not as effective as I would have liked. While it seemed to work for a lot of readers, looking back, I do feel the last chapters could be tighter, and it's one of the two main writing takeaways from that arc that is now informing my writing. (You might have noticed that we didn't delay very long before jumping into the action of the current chapter. Moving things along is something I've kept in mind for all three chapters, actually.) But, for whatever reason, I've noticed it's not uncommon for a reader to assume that a creative choice they disagree with was motivated by base, financial concerns. In my own experience having spoken with other creators, that's rarely true, and in this case, it actually doesn't make economic sense. Every page I write costs me hundreds of dollars in terms of art costs. The most lucrative product for me to sell, by far, is a new book. As I learned with Artifice, 88 pages is plenty for that. If I really wanted to maximize my profits, I'd race through and complete as many stories as I could as fast as I could to create as many new books as I could. Also, since Patreon support depends on truly engaging your audience, writing stories with slow pacing sounds to me like a guaranteed-to-lose plan to "milk cash" from any crowdfunding platform. A lot of non-writers think that coming up with new ideas is the hard part, when in truth, coming up with new ideas and new stories is easy. I, myself, have 1000 different story ideas in my head I'd love to get started on. So, there is zero financial incentive (and some very strong disincentives) for me to drag out a story any longer than what I feel is necessary to make that comic truly compelling. No, in this case, I was telling the best story I had in me. I really felt like those epic battles would benefit from a decompressed story-telling style. Clearly, you would disagree. But if the pacing was not successful, the truth is, that would be due solely to my incompetence, not out of any pecuniary motive. You might not believe me, but it really was me trying my best to create an engaging and epic battle. :) OUR GUEST ARTIST'S ART STYLE I hear you that our guest artist's interpretation of our characters reads to you both as much younger than their actual ages. While that doesn't seem to be the majority view, there have been a few other readers who have shared that impression in the comments. In truth, I don't see it. Julie is a professional, published artist who has already created two other chapters for us with these characters (including with sexy scenes.) She creates work in an anime-style, and that's how this reads to me. And, in fact, when one of the aforementioned commenters was asked why they felt the characters looked young, they responded: "the size of the eyes in relation to the rest of the face (big eyes = more child like), Kyle's button nose i.r.t. the longer, straight nose of a near adult, the slighter build" -- which sounds to me like a pretty solid description of anime-influenced Western art. That style isn't fringe: it's very popular and a strong influence for many comic creators (particularly, it seems, for female creators). But that doesn't mean everyone is going to love it—or see the characters the same way I do. You're right that it would be silly to even evoke the fear of legal concerns here—both these characters have been established as over-18 for literally hundreds of pages, they might have big eyes and round faces but in terms of body hair, etc. they are clearly adults. There's no wink-wink, nudge, nudge in this comic: it's just a different interpretation of our canon characters at their current, adult ages. The issue is that you just don't like the art, at least for this story. And in particular, the character design for whatever reason evokes squicky things for you in this context. And, of course, I can respect that. I chose Julie Wright because she's done excellent work for us before, with these same characters (and even sexy scenes with these characters) and many of our readers really like what she brings to our comic. But it is quite a departure from Adam's style, deliberately so. Some folks are going to be cool with that. Some folks might say "It's not my cup of tea but I can roll with it." And some folks are going to have strong negative feelings. Whether that means I made a "strategic mistake" with that choice (and with my choice to tell this story at all), I suppose only time will tell. But, for what it's worth, I feel like I made the right choice here. While I'm definitely eager to see what Adam brings to the plate with Chapter 2, I think Julie's doing a great job. This story is so much about revealing the emotions these characters are feeling during this time together—and I think she totally nails that. Both Adam and I really like how she draws Spooky and Kyle. And the sex is, for many readers anyway, tasteful, well-done and appealing. (I'd like to also think, based on the reaction, people are enjoying my story-telling as well.) Is everyone going to love it? No, of course not. But do I think I made the right choice? Yes, I do. That said, I really appreciate both of you taking the time to share your thoughts. Your comments were well-expressed and thoughtful and I know came from a place of love for what I'm trying to do here. I'm very sorry to hear that you're not enjoying my current efforts but, as I said before, hopefully at some point I will create work you will enjoy again.

Alex Woolfson

I unfortunately agree with a significant part of what Stephen H has to say. Julie's art keeps pushing my 'ick' buttons and I'm finding it more difficult to read the story than I expected. I no longer want to hang out on the fan site during 'camping' time before page updates, because I feel like a wet blanket if I say anything. I am continuing my pledge because I want to support Alex, Adam, and Vero, but I really don't think Julie's art is appropriate to this story. and I dislike both her art and the story more as time goes by. I'm sorry, Alex, but I think this sequence has been a strategic mistake. I will look forward to attending again when 'Legendary; or at least Julie's stint, is over. With sadness, :-(

And now for a rare bit of critical non-positive feedback. I'm putting this here rather than on the Disqus chat on the main page because here, its not likely to turn into a flame war. I actually want to give real feedback and not fight with the swarms of reactive-naysayer responses. The new pages... I'm particularly unhappy with the use of censor bars and the $5/month barricade to viewing uncensored on Patreon. Seems a bit, I dunno, tacky. I recognize that you had EXTRAS that were "rated" that were set at that reward level, but this is charging a higher rate to see the entire comic for several weeks or months even, if it continues with a pace like the end of TYP:ETA. Additionally, while the art is well executed and very nice, this particular style and choice of depiction for the characters makes them seem MUCH younger than 18 to me, which absolutely pushes it in bad directions in my head. Maybe it's just as well that the "visuals resembling underage porn" stuff is hidden behind a higher paywall. This goes beyond NSFW and into "why are you downloading this apparently illegal stuff??" (No digressions into whether or not this would count as child pornography to legal authorities, please. This is about impressions, not about the dicey and sometimes arbitrary legal treatment of erotica. That way lies a hole full of rats.) I love Alex's work -- but moreso his earlier work. I was hooked with Artifice. I liked TYP "Engaging the Enemy" until it took off in an increasingly Dragon-Ball-esque direction where we were seeing one second of progress twice a week for about three years. It got to the point that I ended up reducing my pledge because I felt like I was being unnecessarily milked for cash to pay for a very slow payout. There's a point where edging stops being enjoyable and becomes painful, and for me the comic passed that point and then some. Even re-reading it, pacing is a problem, because while I can't think of anything specific to cut, I feel like it lacks immediacy and urgency. With the current comic ... I dunno. Alex, one of the things I really admired and wanted to emulate was the crispness of the writing, the detail of the characters. This started in Artifice, and continued in the first parts of TYP-ETA. The art didn't get in the way of your story, but rather amplified it. The characters developed in somewhat "television" feeling ways, but with enough difference and natural flow that it was highly satisfying. The story turns and the arcs, while they followed a strict and apparent rhythm, still flowed dramatically, without a sense of 'ok, it's this arc, and in the first sub-arc we need our heroes to fail badly, seem to win, then fail worse." This time I don't see a strong sense of story-arc-structure, but I can't even READ the story because it visually turns on my internal alarms. And yet I don't feel like it's appropriate to just dump my pledge to a comic with three excellent creators ... maybe I'm suffering from 'sunk costs fallacy' or something, but I want to support the comic. I just can't read it. It's an ok story and is clearly an interim (except that its' the start of a brand new "story" per the labels since it has a new name... but it not only doesn't hold my interest, it actively discourages it, and I'm hoping there will be something more compelling to read sometime soon from this comic.

Stephen Hutchison

Glad you like that. :)

Alex Woolfson

These script pages may be even hotter than the pages, if possible, because they add little extra info.

DanishWolf