Could you please help review my Legendary summary?
Added 2019-06-05 21:23:14 +0000 UTCHey y'all!
So, you were super awesome in helping me choose between two titles for renaming what used to be the third chapter of Legendary. So helpful, I'd like to ask for even more of your input about how to present things.
But first let me tell you how that vote over the titles turned out!
You chose "Past Sins" by a huge margin!
Overwhelmingly (76%!), you preferred "Past Sins" over "Spooky Jones in Hell." That title was my favorite too, but I was concerned it might not be "hook-y" enough.
And then, in the comments, Theadora suggested combining them into "Spooky Jones: Past Sins"—and that totally resonated with me. It keeps the film noir vibe of "Past Sins" that I like for my Spooky-focused stories, it lets readers know it will be a Spooky Jones story, and the addition of the name gives it even more of that "pulp fiction" feel.
So, thanks to your help, this is what I came up with:
Woot!
Thank you so much for helping me make that decision. Since my goal for this year is to attract more readers like you, your input is hugely important. And, just in general, I always want to know what you think. Because y'all rock! :)
Now, my new summary of "Legendary"—for your review!
As you know, the plan is to remove the first two, censored chapters of "Legendary" from my webcomic site, and to make "Spooky Jones: Past Sins" into its own standalone comic—all in preparation for what will hopefully be a large influx of a new readers.
I do believe that new readers will be able to enjoy "Spooky Jone: Past Sins" without having read "Legendary," But since SJPS takes place immediately after the events of "Legendary," I also think it makes a lot of sense to include a summary that folks can read first.
I've done my best to make it visually appealing and clear. And I included still more useful information in the notes section underneath the summary pages.
But is it good enough?
You can read the Legendary summary starting here.
Please tell me what you think!
Summaries are hard, y'all. Ask any writer. Writing that blurb can actually be 10x as hard as writing the whole novel!
The audience for this summary are folks who just finished reading "Engaging the Enemy." And I feel like I've included all the essential stuff.
But please let me know —do you think my summary gives the right information that folks need to fully enjoy "Past Sins"?
Does it still make "Legendary" seem like something that would also be fun to read?
Is there anything that's unclear?
Anything you really like?
Is my note under the pages useful?
Did I miss any typos?
If you have a moment, please let me know. I feel so lucky for so many reasons to have you as readers of my comic and members of the Woolfpack. And your feedback is always super helpful to me.
Thank you for being the real superheroes of The Young Protectors!
Comments
It's the same typeface we are using for all our chapter titles. There are certainly sexier fonts out there, but for our online-only chapter covers I've kept things simple and consistent. I'm not opposed to other suggestions, though, so long as I can be consistent with it for all our chapter titles. :)
Alex Woolfson
2019-06-06 21:20:41 +0000 UTCOK. Let me try that. :)
Alex Woolfson
2019-06-06 21:18:43 +0000 UTCAh, Interesting. OK. I can crop that out.
Alex Woolfson
2019-06-06 21:17:00 +0000 UTCThank you, David. - I'm using the "defeated a super-villain" in an attempt to connect with "the super-villain seduced and tried to use Kyle's powers to take over the world" in the last panel. I want to indicate that Kyle triumphed over the bad guy who did him wrong. What do you think would be the best (and briefest) way for me to do that? - A fair point. Clarity is my main goal in having that, but maybe it's too much. - I added the "grateful" line in an attempt to avoid having Kyle come off as too much of a jerk here. Y'all think it should go? - Good catch on that typo in the panel. Thank you! I'll get that fixed! - Glad you love that panel. It was the moment the whole chapter was leading up to in my mind. :)
Alex Woolfson
2019-06-06 21:00:24 +0000 UTCInteresting suggestion. Let me think about it. Overall, I'm looking to have fewer rather than more words, but that could be a fun addition, Michaela. :)
Alex Woolfson
2019-06-06 20:54:04 +0000 UTCI left a review on the last page of the summary. If I have one suggestion, it's layout-related. I assume the typeface you're using for the cover image is a place-holder rather than the actual final product. From my own work, I know it's hard to come up with good fonts, but I <i>know</i> there are better ones out there to make a superhero comic cover pop.
Curt Clark
2019-06-06 03:00:18 +0000 UTCOne comment on background & layout: It's nice how you use the chapter cover pages behind the summary pictures and text. On pages 1 & 2, the pictures and text box placement allow us to see enough of the chapter 1 page. However, on pages 3 & 4, we never get to see Spooky's eyes on the chapter 2 page. One possible "fix" would be to move up the first yellow text box on p3.
brashion
2019-06-06 01:50:22 +0000 UTCOn the third page, regarding the third comic panel which is used, where the apartment wall meets the window lines up directly with the fly of the main background image. This makes it look like you are covering up Spooky’s penis in the background. I had to zoom before I realized it was the panel art.
turbanous
2019-06-05 22:32:22 +0000 UTC
