Dillon - VI - Kind of Bisexual

After the holidays, I started thinking hard about my recent sexual experiences and ‘what it all means.’ I did a lot of mental gymnastics to convince myself that I am probably bisexual on the Kinsey scale, but closer toward heterosexual because ‘it’s only sex’ for me, no emotions, hell, I couldn’t imagine having feelings for a guy the same way I’ve had feelings for women.

I got myself tested after my wild night and morning with Ronan. I promised myself after my results came back negative for everything that if I have sex with a guy again, I’ll use protection the same as with any woman I have sex with. I kept that promise, too. 

I ended up having a somewhat regular thing with Tank. Strictly sexual, strictly about making each other cum, no emotions whatsoever. Honestly, it was a great setup for both of us. When we couldn’t hook up with women, it was an easy, convenient way to get our needs met, and the more we did it, the easier it was to get each other off. It became something of a contest to get the other off first in our quickies. I would usually win, but mostly because I learned that I really can’t handle taking dick after I’ve already cum.

There were a few other guys that I hooked up with in the spring semester, always safe, always just a quickie. Guys from other frat houses that I would’ve never guessed would be down, but Tank was really good at pointing out to me which guys were sending me signals and “down to clown around.” It was pretty eye-opening how many “straight down low” guys were in my circle, but also how easy it was to hook up with a guy without pretending to want more from them. Just two horny guys getting their rocks off with each other. Most of them just wanted to swap head. Anal was always on the table for me, but a lot of them would shy away, because that’s “a little gay.” Kissing was mostly off the table, too. Except when I’d hook up with Tank, he was always ready for a passionate hookup that left me wiped out for a week or two before I was even horny again.

Even though that sex was always amazing, I still told myself, “I’m not gay, I was just horny, and Tank was easy.” That was how I developed a habit of having sex with a guy, then immediately started dating a girl, getting consumed by a short-lived relationship, and then when it ended, I would hook up with a guy again within a few days. For the next couple of months, the “I’m just drunk and horny” guy was Tank. It was always fun, it scratched an itch, and I could walk away from it without giving it any extra thought. Tank certainly didn’t feel the need to talk about it. However, we did readdress the condom conversation. When he confessed that he’s bisexual and I wasn’t the only guy he was having sex with, we decided it would be safer for both of us if we used condoms. I think that made it easier for me to continue doing what we were doing without getting attached or having to address ‘what does it mean’ for me.

At least, that’s how I thought things were.

When the end of the spring semester started closing in, and the seniors were preparing to graduate, there were a lot of conversations around the house about next year's room assignments and holding an election for officers. I don’t exactly know what happened, but when it hit me that Tank was going to graduate and move on, I felt a shift in my attitude toward him. He had been accepted into medical school in New York City, which basically meant I was unlikely to see him again after graduation. This triggered something inside me; I felt wounded by that thought. I didn’t know how to process those emotions, so I started acting like a huge dick toward Tank.

The last night we were all in the house together, we all got pretty shitfaced, and after about the hundredth dig I took at Tank, he pulled me into his room to talk.

“Dude, what the fuck is your problem?” He was all red in the face and hulking since he basically carried me up a flight of stairs to get into his room.

I looked around the room. It was familiar in scent, but all boxed up, not even a poster left on the walls for the next occupant, not a dirty pair of socks lying anywhere, most of the drawers were open and empty. “I don’t have a problem,” I said with a childish tone and tried to sip my beer casually, but I was a little too drunk to pull it off as I held the neck of the glass bottle like I would hold Tank’s cock as I sucked it.

“You’ve been nothing but an asshole for the last two weeks. What did I do to…to piss you off so much?” He asked, choosing his words carefully despite being just as wasted as I am.

I puffed out some air and shook my head. I felt my chest getting tight, and my eyes started to water like I was about to cry, and I wasn’t going to cry in front of Tank. Fuck, I don’t even cry when I should cry. But the emotions I had been holding back suddenly became so intense. I think Tank could see it on my face because I was holding my breath and turning red. I wasn’t doing it on purpose; it was just the only way I could keep the dam of emotions from breaking loose.

“Shit… come here,” he said, his tone softening quickly as he closed the gap between us and wrapped his arms around me. I instantly smelled his scent, the last of the cologne he put on this morning, a little bit of his natural odor, and the Tide laundry detergent he uses in excess because he thinks it smells good. It washed over me like a blanket of safety, relaxing me. I no longer wanted to cry, but the rush of emotions needed to come out, and I don’t know if I did it consciously or subconsciously, but I turned my head in and kissed his clavicle, then his Adam’s apple, he kissed the top of my head and his arms started loosening around me, his hands started roaming tight through the muscles of my back as he let out a low moan from my kisses. That was all I needed, and it was suddenly on. 

The bass from the music downstairs was thumping through the walls, the chatter and cheers were bleeding through enough to keep us aware that this wasn’t the right time for this, but I wasn’t going to stop it if Tank wasn’t going to stop it. When his lips locked on mine, I knew there was no going back to the party until we got in one last fuck. I could tell he felt it too. He immediately pulled me tighter to him, and I could feel his growing bulge rubbing against mine.

I quickly slid my hands under his shirt, up his body, and he brought his hands down to my ass, squeezing it through my shorts. His mouth started gnawing at my neck, making me melt into him. He moaned into my ear and whispered, “I wanna fuck you,” and slid a hand into the back of my shorts and underwear to run his middle finger on my hole.

“Mmmm, I want you to fuck me,” I managed to keep to a whisper. 

His tongue parts my lips again, and he closes his mouth on my upper lip, his hand still in my underwear, pushing on my tight pucker. There was a clunk in the room on the other side of the wall that Tank’s bed is up against. He breaks the kiss and nods toward the door, “There’s too many people around, we can’t.” 

He was right: with everyone partying and the seniors packing up their shit, there was constant movement outside the door, and any one of them could come knocking at any minute, looking for something. “Nnnngh,” I whine, then let my fingers trace the bulge in his shorts. “Maybe just a quick one?” I tried not to sound like I needed it, but I needed it.

He tilted his head back, and I felt his cock throb through the fabric of his shorts as he groaned out a slow, “fuuuuck,” then pulled away from me, running over to lock the door. A move that was just as risky as leaving it unlocked. If someone came knocking, they would want to know who Tank was in here with and would have a million questions when they realized it was me, not some girl. He quickly was back and wrapped his arms around my waist, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of my shorts and underwear, shoving them below my ass, halfway down my thighs, before the fabric tangled and didn’t easily slide. “Turn around,” he practically growled as he squeezed my ass cheeks.

I turned and bent over the mattress, my ass on full display. He dropped to his knees and did the thing only Tank ever did to me, put his tongue in my clean asshole. “Mmm…fuuuuck,” I breathed heavily, reaching back to spread my ass cheeks apart. His tongue lapped and dug at my pucker, occasionally dropping down and sucking my balls, then back up, and he’d moan into my hole as he tried to dig deep with his velvety tongue again. I savored the feeling, flexing my hard dick on his mattress, which only had the top sheet covering it. No pillows, no blankets, all packed already since his parents were picking him up early in the morning.

We heard two guys coming up the stairs laughing, and Tank pulled his tongue from my hole, squeezing my cheeks as we waited to hear them keep going into the next room. Then he stood up, and I flopped over onto my back, yanking his shorts down as he pulled his tank top up and tucked it behind his neck for quick redressing after. His 7” cut dick flopped out of his boxers, looking harder than ever. I quickly sucked it into my mouth and started bobbing up and down on it. While giving guys head isn’t my favorite thing to do, I learned in my quest to get Tank off quickly that if I give him a few minutes of good sucking, he won’t last long once he’s in my ass. Some nights that’s beneficial, some nights I wanted it to last long because we had the time to drag it out and really take each other to new heights of sexual intensity. Tonight, unfortunately, was a necessity to get off quickly.

When he gripped my hair, which was long overdue for a haircut, he pulled me off his dick and looked down into my eyes as he took a deep breath. I knew it was time and reached for his condom drawer, which was completely empty.

“You packed your condoms?” I chuckled.

“Oh,” he chuckled, “I basically dumped all my drawers into those six boxes,” he pointed to the wall of packed and taped boxes. “You carry one on you, right?” He asked. Knowing I do, and we’ve used my wallet condoms at least a half dozen times when hooking up in odd places like my car.

I scrunched up my face, groaning, “My wallet is in my car.”

He sighed, moving over to the boxes, taking one off the stack and setting it aside, then tearing open the one it was sitting on. He dug through, “I think it’s this one,” he said, bending over, his hairy ass on display for me to enjoy as the muscles flexed while he shuffled stuff around in the box. “Here’s the lube,” he chucked a tube over his shoulder without looking. I instinctively dove on the mattress to catch it, then quickly squirt some onto my fingers and started lubing my hole up in anticipation as I watched him dig deeper into the box. “Ah, here we go,” he pulled out a box of Trojan condoms, flipping the flaps open and holding it upside down, his palm cupped under it. “Oh, damn,” he chuckled, then dug deeper into the box. “This one’s empty,” he dropped the box to the floor with an oddly loud hollow thud. “I don’t see any loosies either.”

I groaned, two fingers already deep in my hole, massaging my insides and increasing my horniness with each little pump. “Are you serious?” I stage whispered, still sliding my fingers in and out of my hole, readying myself for his big dick.

He closed the flap on the box and came over to me as he started stroking his dick again. “I could just eat you out some more while you get off,” he shrugged, a grin spreading across his face when he saw my fingers already in my ass.

“I’m already lubed up,” I told him, disappointed, knowing he’s not going to want to lick the lube off my hole.

He got between my legs, pushed on the tangled mess of shorts and underwear around my knees to expose my ass to him even more. “Mmmm…damn,” he said, tapping his cock on my hole. I swear I could feel myself dilate for him, but it was more likely a muscle reflex in anticipation.

My tangled clothes strapping my knees to each other and pushed up by my chest, I had to reach around my legs to stroke my dick, but it still felt good. I felt my chest start to tighten at the thought of Tank leaving tomorrow morning and having missed out on getting fucked by him one last time. The tension racked through my body, and my heart was pounding when I suggested, “We could do it bare, just this once.” The words left my mouth so quickly and sheepishly that I was embarrassed I even asked. Especially after the awkward conversation we had months ago about safety and wearing condoms no matter what.

He circled my hole with his bare tip; it felt so good, I had to control myself from moaning. “Are you sure?” He asked, nudging his crown into my crevice a fraction, enough to make me try to relax instinctively.

“Mmm, yeah,” I breathed out, watching the pleasure on his face as he popped the head in without hesitation. “Oh fuck,” I groaned. The girth of his cock was always a shock to my system, but the lack of friction made it so much easier for him to get half of his seven inches inside with ease before he met resistance.

His hands pushed my legs tight to my chest as he grunted, “Jesus, Dillon, that feels so good,” he mumbled.

I bit my upper lip, trying to relax. This was the part I always hated. That sting when he first gets in, and I know he wants to just start pounding like it’s a girl's pussy, but fuck…I need a minute to adjust. Breathing heavy and wishing I hadn’t finished that bottle of poppers I stole from Ronan. When he pulled out a little and pushed deeper in with silky ease, I couldn’t help but moan even through gritted teeth, “Oh fuck,” I whispered in a groan as I remembered how good it felt the first time Tank fucked me. I reached around and pulled his thick ass cheeks toward me, pulling the rest of his cock into my drunk ass and relishing in the warmth of his raw cock. I felt him flex his cock inside me as his bushy pubes tickled the outside of my hole and my ass cheeks. He circled his hips, his cock stretching my hole a little more without pumping into me. “Mmmm, that feels so good,” I mumbled, stroking my dick and flexing my hold around the base of his thick cock.

He put a knee up on the mattress, his hips pushing on me, and I slid a little deeper up the bed so he could put his other knee on the mattress and lean over me to kiss me as he started giving me short thrusts of the last two inches of his cock. He moaned into my mouth, and I moaned into his. Each of his little thrusts was slow, but his hips slammed into mine, a feeling that resonated through my entire body and sent pleasure into my balls. “You feel so good, Dillon, so fucking good,” he almost whimpered into my mouth as he held me tight and gave me a few more light slams of his hips.

“Are you close already?” I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him tight to me so I could continue kissing him as the tip of his raw cock tapped deep into my guts with each new pump.

His voice trembled as he whispered, “Yeah,” and smiled, digging deeper and grinding with each additional thrust. There were voices in the hall again, and the doorknob jiggled. Tank stopped slamming his hips, but kept gyrating so he could keep edging himself without making noise. He bit his lower lip and squinted. I could tell from all the other times we fucked that he was trying hard not to blow his load. When the voices continued down the hall and thudded down the stairs, Tank whispered, “I’m so close,” as his back arched out like a cat and he dug deep into me with a long stroke of his dick. His voice trembled in a weak whisper, “Want me to pull out?”

I shook my head no, “Cum inside me, Tank.” Just saying the words turned me on even more as I rocked my ass on his cock, clenching my cheeks as he pulled back, and letting him thrust in harder and deeper. Both of us trying to keep our moans as silent as possible.

“Oh fuck,” he whispered. He gave me two new strokes, then kissed me hard as he grunted on the next stroke, and I felt his cock twitch inside me, followed by the warmth of his load lubricating my insides for his next two thrusts and moans. I couldn’t help but moan into his mouth, pulling him tighter to me, feeling his body stiffen as he pumped shot after shot of cum into my guts. The warmth washing through me, and the release of unspoken emotions in that moment, was so intense and raw, we both felt it as it washed between us in panting, passionate kisses and a few cum soaked thrusts before his erection started to soften.

“Fuck,” I panted, as he pulled back from me, pulling out of my hole, he let my legs drop down. I clenched my ass to hold his cum in as his mouth went down on my cock. I was already teetering on the edge, his warm, wet mouth was only on my cock for a minute or two before I thrust all 5.5” of my cut cock into his throat and started pumping my load right into it. “Mmmm….fuuuuuck,” I groaned, holding his head tight to my crotch despite his attempts to pull off as his throat contracted around my dick, swallowing as much cum as my balls could produce. I loosened my grip on him and took a deep breath as he slowly pulled off, sucking me clean as he did.

He rubbed the wetness from his eyes and chuckled. “Fuck, dude. You never cum that much,” he stroked my thighs as I caught my breath.

I smiled, “It…never…felt this good.”

He planted his legs back on the floor. Reaching for the nightstand, he grabbed my beer and took a big gulp before handing it to me. I sat up on my elbow and chugged the rest of it as he pulled his shorts and boxers up, tucking his cum slicked cock away and zipping up. “You good?” He asked. Two little words masked the question he was really asking.

I nodded, “I am now.” I felt like a weight had been lifted. Like we were able to have a proper, intimate, much-needed goodbye.

“I’m going to go take a piss and then rejoin the guys downstairs. You should take a minute, join us when you’re ready,” he said.

I nodded and watched him sneak out to the bathroom the way I had seen him do many times over the last few months after fucking me. I was definitely going to miss this, miss him. Maybe I’m a little more bisexual than I thought I was.