STEP BY STEP: IN PERSON SESSIONS FOR BDSM

This course will explain the steps in setting up and in person session, what to do during the session, and what to do after. Please note that this is just a guide of suggestions. Only do things that you are comfortable with and don't hesitate to adjust some of the bullet points to your liking.

SETTING UP THE SESSION:

1. Be sure that you've followed all steps to properly vet the sub for your safety. This includes sub application, background check, references, and other things that we've already gone over in past safety courses (please scroll through Patreon for these courses). You want to make sure that you have all ground covered for ultimate safety when meeting up for your session.

2. Decide where you are going to have session. Dungeons are highly recommended, with hotels and Air BNB's being last choices. Call the dungeon to get their operation hours and prices. Most dungeons will charge per hour so be sure to include this in the session fee your sub is going to pay. If using a hotel, be sure to have security in place to bring with you to sit in the lobby or wait outside the door. This can be hired services or a friend or family member that you trust.

3. Get at least a half deposit from the sub and make sure that you let them know this is non refundable. This protects you in the event that the sub cancels the session and you've already paid for the location. NO DEPOSIT = NO SESSION. Don't go off of promises. After receiving the deposit, book the location. Only send the location to the sub the DAY OF session.

ARRIVAL TO SESSION:

1. Before arriving, make sure that you have a bag packed with all tools and equipment that you are going to use for session. This includes toys, sanitary wipes and materials, and anything else you may need for the session. I usually travel with a small duffle bag or a case for my BDSM toys. Try to travel light. Also, decide if you want to show up to session already dressed or if you are going to take the time to change. 

2. Always arrive EARLY to the location before the sub. Allot the appropriate amount of time just in case you need to change or you have a certain set up. If this is a new location you've booked, you'll want to scope out the area to identify exits, entrances, etc. If your session starts at 5 PM for example, try to be to the space at least by 4:30 PM.

3. When you arrive, set the mood for the space. This is your session to take control of, so you'll want to make sure you are comfortable. Light candles, put on your favorite playlist, set the lighting - this is all up to you. Once you're comfortable and prepared, let the sub know that you are ready for them to enter the space. Be sure that you are starting on time for sessions.

DURING THE SESSION:

1. Set the mood for how you want to dominate. Are you nurturing the sub, being strict/mean to them? As soon as they enter the room, whatever personality you've chosen should come to life. I usually make my subs immediately get on their knees, as subs should never physically be at the same level of a Domme. Take this time to outline the rules to them and have them repeat them back. Make sure to get a verbal confirmation of their safe word and their hard and soft limits. 

2. Start the session. I usually start a timer to alert me when session is ending so that I don't go over the allotted time. From this point, I keep mental note of all the kinks that both of us have consented to and I creatively bring them into session. This is the part that can be most difficult for first timers: learning how to move seamlessly throughout session. Don't overthink this part, just make sure that you are being safe and following protocol.

3. Talk yo shit! I like to fill my sessions up with words, verbal humiliation, verbal worship, call and response, etc. For example: "Tell Mistress how amazing she is and all the ways you plan to serve her." This opens the door for verbal worship and for you to hear how dedicated your sub is. You can add in punishments if their answers aren't to your liking. 

4. Take your time. Don't feel like you have to rush through session to get it over with. If you're just working to get it over with, your work won't come off as genuine. Don't be afraid to take breaks if needed; you can use this time to have them worship your feet with a foot rub. 

5. Pay attention to non verbal cues. Does the sub seem uncomfortable? Some subs get so caught up in sub space that they may forget to say their safe words. Observe their body language at all times. 

6. If the sub is making you uncomfortable, you have the right to END SESSION and dismiss them. If you feel unsafe, alert an employee at the dungeon or grab your security. This is also where means of protection come into place. Stay ready so you don't have to get ready.

AFTER SESSION:

1. Administer after care. Ask them how they feel, offer water or snacks, and give them time to come down from the session.

2. Follow up after session. This can be a couple of hours after session has ended or the next day. You can also use this time to ask them for a review of your services, that can also be used for additional marketing.

3. Take note of your own feelings. Top drop is a thing and can possibly happen. Take time to relax or treat yourself after having a good session.