BDSM TECHNIQUES - MENTAL

Mental techniques within BDSM are the stepping stones to conducting productive sessions (online or in person) or for curating the Lifestyle relationships you desire. A large percentage of BDSM is mental, no matter what dynamic you fall under. This is why so much of BDSM & Kink involves trusting the person you are in a scene with or D/s dynamic with. It is the ability to be able to either relinquish control or have the correct amount of control.

As a Domme, one thing you want to stay away from is becoming too predictable. You should always have your sub waiting on their edge of their seat for every command, order, instruction, etc. Ask yourself the following:

What do I know about my sub so far that makes them get overly excited? How do I play on this consistently to keep things interesting but not predictable?

What do I know that makes them feel uncomfortable (hard limit)?

What makes them feel truly punished?

Ask yourself these questions along with asking the sub questions. Digging into their interests bit by bit can also help set the tone for future sessions.

For example: my sissy sub Tatianna loves music and serving in ways that makes them feel challenged within being a sissy. I allow Tatianna to choose the music for sessions and to pick out their own sissy outfits. 

As a Dominant in this space, everything doesn't always have to be cut and dry. It's okay to peel back some layers and have normal conversations, especially when building a long term dynamic.

One of my favorite techniques is call and response. Each time I test how fast the sub can respond to a command or word or task I've thrown at them. Each time they kiss my feet, they are instructed to thank me. If they don't thank me, they are ignored until they figure out what they've done wrong. I will not remind them!

Think of different ways to get in their head that require a reward or punishment.