Bonus Scene: I Don't Trust Myself — Tough Night

First, some quick updates:

July has been another crazy month on a whole lot of levels, bad and good. Someone very close to me spent the first couple weeks of it in the hospital (thankfully home safe for now), I've had a couple very cool commissions (both private and future-sharable), and I got a new journalism gig (how wild and also hectic is it to have a mild-mannered journalist secret identity?).

I've got several fun things in the works for you guys, but went and got myself in a position of having lots of open drafts and none finished, so what did I do? Started yet another, of course :)

Seriously, I really wanted to follow up quickly on the "I Don't Trust Myself" story after the response it got, and get you guys a taste NOW, so here's a quickie text exchange between Spencer and Haley (all adult and consensual of course).

Enjoy!

***

Spencer: Are you awake?

Haley: Just got into bed. You holding up okay?

Spencer: Kind of. It’s really, really tight right now. Has been for the last hour.

Haley: Do you need out?

Spencer: No, I need to learn to handle it.

Haley: And can you? Handle it?

Spencer: I think so. It’s easiest when I feel like I have no choice. Thinking you might drop everything and let me come over makes me kind of crazy.

Haley: Should I pretend I wouldn’t? I want you to feel safe.

Spencer: I do feel safe. Except from giving up.

Haley: In that case… what’s this about? Not that I don’t love hearing from you <3

Spencer: I don’t know. Masochism, maybe.

Haley: Is it working, then? Am I helping you suffer more?

Spencer: Kind of. Yeah. But I don’t want you to go silent on me. I’m not ready to lie in bed alone with this right now.

Haley: Describe it for me, then.

Spencer: You want to read about me suffering?

Haley: I want to read about how you’re feeling while you’re thinking about me, reading my texts, going without the key you gave me. Only if you want to tell me, of course. But you did start this.

Spencer: Yeah, I did. Okay. I can feel my cock trying so hard to swell. It feels almost like I’m going to burst out of this thing, but at the same time, it’s so obvious I’m not. When I’m free, it feels like I can get hard as steel, but really, I’m no match at all for a few thin bands of actual steel.

Haley: Humbling, huh?

Spencer: Like crazy.

Haley: What happens when I tell you I’m lying here in your favorite satin nightie?

Spencer: Oh Jesus, it just throbbed so hard, you don’t even know.

Haley: You’re right, I don’t know. Guess you’re going to have to explain it to me.

Spencer: I never realized before how deep those throbs start. It came from my pelvis, and if it could have, it would have pushed me right into a full erection, and I’d be tingling right up to the tip.

Haley: But it couldn’t do that.

Spencer: No. It reached the base and then sort of dissipated into the dull, tight pressure inside the cage.

Haley: No tingles for you?

Spencer: A little. Not as much as normal.

Haley: Aww, poor thing. Are you sure you don’t want to come over?

Spencer: Please stop asking me that. I don’t want this to become an annoyance to you.

Haley: Believe me, it’s not.

Spencer: But it could be, when the novelty wears off.

Haley: Doubt it.

Spencer: Humor me. Me coming over to get unlocked would keep you up late and make you tired at work tomorrow. That’s not fair to you, so I don’t get unlocked. I’m good with that.

Haley: But keeping me up texting is fine.

Spencer: It won’t be as late this way, I promise.

Haley: Uh-huh.

Spencer: Should I fuck off and let you sleep? Seriously, you can say yes. I’ll understand.

Haley: No.

Spencer: Are you sure?

Haley: Yup. I just want you to think about whether you’re making up rules for yourself for my benefit, or because having rules kinda turns you on.

Spencer: …Do I have to have an answer tonight?

Haley: No, tonight we’ll let it be. Tonight, you’re not allowed to come over, for reasons unexamined.

Spencer: Thanks.

Haley: But what would you do if you could?

Spencer: Depends. Do you let me out right away?

Haley: Let’s say yes this time. You’re lying in bed here with me. I’m turning the key, removing the lock, adding a little bit of lube to help me pull you smoothly out of that cage. We’ve barely spoken tonight, barely touched except to get you naked, but here you are with full use of your body. What do you do?

Spencer: I run my fingers along the underside of my cock, just once, because that’s all it takes to get it ready for you. I hike up your nightgown and pull your panties down, if they come down easy. If they’re too tight and lacy and stiff, they might get torn. I kneel between your legs and rub myself right along your slit, brushing the head of my cock against your clit. I’m already wet enough for both of us, but I stay right there until you’re dripping like I am and begging me to come in.

Haley: Liar. You don’t have that much restraint, and you know it.

Spencer: Can we pretend you asked me what I’d WANT to do, instead of what I WOULD do?

Haley: Fine, I’ll allow it. You want to make me beg?

Spencer: No, scratch that. I stay there until you permit me to come in. I’ll stay out there until then, knocking on your door, shivering in the cold.

Haley: I don’t hate the sound of that. All right, you are permitted. What then? How does it feel?

Spencer: Like heaven.

Haley: Details, babe.

Spencer: I’m buried hips deep in the kind of softness you never want to stop touching. Like that one pillow in the home goods store when you wander through it on molly.

Haley: Vivid.

Spencer: And I have all the time there I want. I slide through it slowly, pound against it hard. There’s no version of that soft friction that doesn’t feel incredible.

Haley: How would you ever pull yourself away?

Spencer: Well, unlike that one pillow, your softness isn’t a destination. It’s a journey. There’s a beginning, a middle, and then a full-on fireworks finale.

Haley: Mm, wouldn’t that be nice?

Spencer: I think I’d see stars if I could have that right now. I’d be dizzy, sweating, panting, not even embarrassed to be leaking all over your sheets.

Haley: Too bad you’re not allowed any of that :)

Spencer: Please don’t invite me over again.

Haley: I’m not. You’re officially uninvited, all night. I’m just stating a fact.

Spencer: I’m not allowed to fuck tonight.

Haley: Nope.

Spencer: I’m not even allowed to rub one out to get to sleep.

Haley: Afraid not, babe.

Spencer: God, I keep reading those last few texts over and over. Why do I love them so much?

Haley: I don’t know. But I know what MY favorite part is.

Spencer: What’s that?

Haley: I love how they don’t say anything about what I’M allowed to do.

Spencer: Oh yeah?

Haley: How about you? Do you love that part?

Spencer: Yeah, I think I kinda do.

Haley: I gotta say, you’ve got me craving those fireworks now.

Spencer: What’s stopping you?

Haley: Charity. I can touch myself whenever the hell I want… but if it’s too much for you to think about right now, I’ll be nice and wait until you fall asleep.

Spencer: You’d probably be waiting a long time.

Haley: I could at least not tell you about it.

Spencer: Tell me, please. I want to know that this is for your benefit, even a little bit.

Haley: Well, if you change your mind and turn off your phone, I’ll understand.

Spencer: I won’t.

Haley: I’m lubing up my purple vibrator right now. The one that thrusts on its own, so I can text without stopping.

Spencer: The purple one. It’s bigger than me, right?

Haley: Well, it definitely is right now ;)

Spencer: True enough. Help me picture what you’re doing.

Haley: I’m sliding it in, squeezing the base between my thighs, and turning it on. I always kind of forget how intense it is!

Spencer: Is it fucking you right now?

Haley: Mmhmm. More or less. I’d say I’m doing the fucking. It’s the one moving, but I’m in control.

Spencer: Are you saying it can’t fuck you like I can? :)

Haley: I guess that’s technically accurate.

Spencer: Do you wish it was me right now?

Haley: Nope.

Spencer: Ouch.

Haley: Don’t be like that. It could have been you, but you wanted the night to go this way. And you want me to enjoy it, don’t you?

Spencer: Yeah. You’re right.

Haley: I don’t mind being in control.

Spencer: Thank god for that.

Haley: Besides, if you were here on top of me, I wouldn’t be able to think about you all alone over there, squirming for what you can’t have.

Spencer: You like that?

Haley: It’s intoxicating. It’s the naughtiest I’ve ever felt, since sex started to feel normal.

Spencer: Fuck, this thing is so tight right now.

Haley: Good. Is it still stealing half of what you feel when you get a good, hard throb?

Spencer: Yeah.

Haley: It’s almost like it’s sending your pleasure to me. I’m pretending the extra tingles from the vibration are confiscated from you.

Spencer: Take them. I want you to.

Haley: So that you can feel like you’re fucking me just a little from over there?

Spencer: Yeah.

Haley: Then you’re outdoing yourself, babe.

Spencer: Yeah?

Haley: It’s happinnnnn

Spencer: Haley?

Haley: Oh, fuck, yeah. That was something else. You okay?

Spencer: Yeah. I mean, uncomfortable, but I’ll live.

Haley: Fun for you?

Spencer: In a way… yeah. Weirdly. I just wish I could have seen you.

Haley: Hmm. Maybe, next time, I’ll invite you over AND keep you locked all night. What do you think?

Spencer: I think that sounds even more weirdly amazing. But I’m not sure either of us has the restraint for that.

Haley: Then we’ll have to keep practicing.

Spencer: You really do have to get to sleep soon, don’t you?

Haley: I should. Are you going to be okay?

Spencer: Yeah. Thanks for that.

Haley: Are you kidding me? You’re so fucking far beyond welcome. Get some sleep yourself.

Spencer: Yeah. I’ll try.