Let's talk about Aya, and Poll: Was Aya's path (and bonus endings) worth it?

I wanted to take a moment to explain a bit of my thought process as well as my fear concerning Aya, her route, and her overall personality. This will include some spoilers for her path in Laura's route, so don't read this if you haven't finished it yet.

Some of you might be wondering why her path ended on such a good note (at least for her), or why she deserves so many good endings when Laura still doesn't have any. You might be thinking that I may have bent under the pressure of those asking for good endings. But while this isn't the case per se, I can't completely dismiss the fact that I may be influenced by all kinds of things without my wanting to. The themes that I personally really enjoy writing about—the ultimate sacrifice, the hero's journey, and subjective truth—are not very compatible with NTR, so I'm always fearful that I'll lose sight of what's important and start to create a bridge between two passions that are ultimately incompatible. So if you do think that I'm not going in the right direction, please tell me. My goal for this Patreon has always been to write hard NTR, and I don't want to do half-measures when it comes to the kink. I'll easily sacrifice storytelling for NTR. I know some would prefer the other way around, but that's not how I want to do things here.

Now with that being said, as I mentioned in the commentary of V0.9.6, the reason Aya's ending ended that way was because I lost against her. What I mean by that is that I created her in a way that the event in her path was not enough to corrupt her. This brings up my first fear; her personality.

I don't really think that her personality is very compatible with NTR. She gives off psycho-girlfriend energy, and I've rarely ever seen that type in NTR (unless it's reverse NTR). I'm not taking her personality as an excuse. I'm the one who created her after all. And I do see a path to corruption. But it needs more work. A 100k-word path (half of it being shared with Laura) is not enough to defeat Aya. And I think it's ultimately a good thing. If she'd lost at the end of her path, I think she would have lost a lot of her appeal in the process. She will fall. I promise you she will… even if I need to use bad writing to do so. But I hope you understand why she didn't in Laura's route. We just need to be a bit more patient. I think her character deserves her own route. And with the appropriate set-up… well… this is a NTR. Her ass is her biggest asset, and I'm sure everyone wants to see it.

The bonus endings were mostly for fun, though it does give a bit of clues and insight as to her lineage and her perspective on the world. Some people might think it creates paradoxes with the rest of the story, but I don't. Those endings—those outcomes—were her last resort. I won't go into details. I think her route will answer most of the questions… though people will always find ways to criticize. These bonus endings were planned since the first ending. Aya usually will give up on everything if it means her survival… but I knew people wouldn't be satisfied with her disappearing each time shit hit the fan. I wouldn't be satisfied. At least with those small endings, it shows that if Harry does care for her, she will be there for him. It shows that she does care… and I think it gives depth to her character and her own route.

For my second fear, because her character is a bit incompatible with NTR, I fear that her route will not be as satisfying. I don't know yet. I'm still in the middle of writing it. And I'm trying my best to take my time. There will be fewer endings in her route than in Laura's route. But I want to try a different pace. With my previous works (and this includes the beginning of APBLU), I didn't quite take as much time for the initial setup—for the relationship. I didn't have the budget, and I needed to make some concessions. Also, it's extremely hard to know how much shit the readers will accept for a bigger payoff. More romance with the characters means more time before the juicy parts... but it also means that it might hit harder in the end. With APBLU I learned that you guys are pretty fucking patient. So now I'll try something a bit different. Not too different, but just a bit. Will it work? I don't know. But because of it, and because Aya is just that hard to corrupt, I wouldn't be surprised if Aya's route takes almost as long as Laura's route to complete. And that's with only 1 or 2 endings. So buckle up. Better like those characters because we're not done with them, and that stresses me out quite a bit. I'm pretty much all in on that story, and if it somewhat fails to capture interest because of fatigue (which would be legitimate at this point), that will set me back quite a bit.

I won't lie, I personally would have preferred to end APBLU this month and start something new. I like changes of pace, and I'm not attached to any character in particular. But I promised at the beginning of the project that Aya would have her route… and I do think she deserves it. Maybe I shouldn't have given her such a personality. I like my female characters when they are strong-willed, for better or for worse.

I guess I just wanted to write this in order to prepare people for a long and maybe miserable ride. I'm giving my best shot, but I always have this constant fear that I'm no longer able to capture what makes NTR so complex and gripping. I don't really have time to study the kink anymore, but maybe it's just that writing constantly about it makes me a bit desensitized by the whole thing. I wouldn't be surprised if this is all in my head, but since my goal is not just to write a NTR story but to write an experience, I really dread the moment when my writing just feels soulless.

Anyway, next month will be the beginning of Aya's route. It will start slow—the first two updates will be a bit smaller because my artists need to keep up—and the pacing will be slower as well. Next month will also mark the second anniversary of A Promise Best Left Unkept. I appreciate all of you. And if Aya's route somehow sucks ass… well we'll just have to scrap everything and try something else. As long as you guys keep giving me chances, I'll keep trying.