Hello...
Added 2020-05-25 05:47:58 +0000 UTCHi guys! Thank you for the lovely messages! I had a terrible couple of days, I don't think I have puked as much as I did this past few days but at least I feel a little bit better rn.
I decided to get up of my bed, take a long hot shower and do my hair and it kinda made me feel better. I think the pills are finally working. I do have to call my doctor tomorrow so he can update my prescription. I did had to take antibiotics tho.
But tbh this was a wake up call. I haven't been eating well lately. The stress of this quarantine and been in charge of my house and practically making all the hard decisions by myself is getting to me, both physically and physiologically.
Today, I had a big scare with my brother. Idk what on earth happened to him but he started to feel bad. I think it's his colesterol and I think he almost had a stroke or something... Thankfully since my mom and I were train to take care of my grandmother I was able to help him out and he is now stable. I was able to talk to a doctor who told me what to do and tomorrow he will have to get some blood work done to see what really happened. But it was scary, my mom started screaming and crying, his wife just doesn't know what to do and once again it's only me who has to think straight and control the situation. Idk if they notice how this things affect me as well, I do put on a brave face but sometimes it's too much.
I just feel like the house keeps getting smaller, and sometimes I panic and all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep but I can't bc I don't want to scare them.
I'm honestly thinking about getting a therapist or something bc I really do need someone who at least ask me how I'm doing. idk it sucks sometimes to be the one everyone can rely on but not having anyone to talk to about what I feel.
Tomorrow I have a million things to do. Since my brother doesn't feel well, I have to do all the shopping on my own and we need pretty much everything bc the marked is closing for the next 3 days so I'm not going to be able to get supplies until Friday or Saturday. So tomorrow is going to be crazy! Plus I have to go the pharmacy and to the bank!! I think I might die tomorrow!
Anyways, thank you for always listening to me! You guys are amazing! Thank you for the love and support.
I will contact every person who sponsored something the past few months to let you know when I will be able to post your shows/movies and if you guys are ok with it I will post an updated schedule that will be less stressful on the next few days.
Anyways, thank you all for your support! Thank you for everything you do for me. I'm sorry I'm not delivering more content but I couldn't bc I felt awful!
Hopefully this week will be better for reactions and for my health as well.
I'm going to post Killing Eve 307 next so stay tune for that! I just couldn't wait to watch that episode :)
Comments
i was only just now able to see this. sending you love and support.
Alvin Cura
2020-05-28 18:26:52 +0000 UTCtake care of yourself that's what's most important
Haifaa Ahmed
2020-05-27 20:53:26 +0000 UTCI am so sorry about what's happening to you
Haifaa Ahmed
2020-05-27 20:53:08 +0000 UTCIt can take a long time (and a lot of money/good insurance) to get sessions with a licensed psychiatrist, especially during these troubled times where tons of other people are also trying to get appointments, so I wish you luck. I’ve had the most frustrating experiences (a few years ago, I literally had to be hospitalized before I could actually get the help I needed) with trying to see a doctor who could actually prescribe me medication for my neurological issues, so I’ve mostly just seen counselors affiliated with the church, even though I’m not religious, but they are much more affordable (often even free) and they will listen to your problems, hopefully with an open mind, and offer advice that can help you improve at least some things in your life. (This was in Alabama, the heart of the Bible Belt, so my options were somewhat limited to Christian counselors 😑. I don’t know what the mental heath care system is like in Peru)
Teresina
2020-05-27 16:51:00 +0000 UTCI'm so sorry you and your family are going through so much Juli, just take care of yourself and each other. Reactions are not important right now take all the time you need
Marie
2020-05-25 19:02:07 +0000 UTCThat sounds scary and really exhausting. It's not fair that you have to take the burden of all of this. If therapy is accessible to you, it doesn't hurt to try it. I know a lot of people get really anxious or scared about going and I was too but it honestly and truly changed my life and I really recommend it. Sometimes you just need someone to be on your side and to listen to you bitch about everything and the therapist might be able to give you some pointers on how to cope or lighten the burden a bit. You're an amazing person and you deserve a break <3
Sara Peterson
2020-05-25 17:35:00 +0000 UTCI am so sorry you are dealing with so much Juli. I understand how it feels to feel so alone and during this unprecedented time, it’s much worse bc we can’t really go out much. Therapy sounds like such a great idea and i truly hope you get all the help you neeed. Your mental and physical health is more important right now. You can always dm me and i can just listen if you need someone or if you need advice. Whatever you need Juli, we are all here for you. Take as much time as you need! ❤️❤️
Bailee (Cayden)
2020-05-25 15:21:33 +0000 UTCI’m so sorry to hear all of it. I think you definitely should start therapy ! It will allow you to be heard and I think you need it. As someone who deals with depression I know it’s difficult to support and hear the problems of someone else because you have to deal so much with this disease and when I see you trying not to force anything with you family that makes me think that you such an amazing person and I’m so glad that you support everyone and trying to understand each person but you need to think about yourself too and to talk because their problems doesn’t make yours less important. And we support you, if you need to do less reactions that would totally be okay like 2 per day ! It’s all up to you. The priority is your health. It is what matters the most !!!
Enzo
2020-05-25 14:26:29 +0000 UTCi think you should definitely start therapy! i have social anxiety and depression and being in therapy has helped me a lot, i’m also on medication and i think that if you feel like you want to stay in bed all day then you really should go to therapy. unfortunately there is such a stigma around going to therapy, people always associate it with being “crazy” but it’s really helpful and beneficial and i personally believe that every person even those who don’t have a mental illness can truly benefit from therapy, you need a mental checkup just like you need a physical one. anyway, i’m sorry that everything is so stressful rn, just know we love you and are here for you ❤️
fry
2020-05-25 09:50:24 +0000 UTCI am sorry to hear what you are going through but happy to hear you want to start therapy. I am not sure if you have this in Peru, but the website psychology today is a really great place to find the right therapist. A lot of them are also doing sessions over zoom right now so you don’t have to worry about getting the virus.
Gracie
2020-05-25 07:36:12 +0000 UTCI am really sorry about what you and your family are going through and I hope that you your brother and mother get better soon and you are more then welcome to take a break from making your videos if you need to
Egil Hellá
2020-05-25 07:22:56 +0000 UTCI'm very sorry for your situation. You have to put your health first! We understand this moment that u are living. You have our support
valentina
2020-05-25 06:15:41 +0000 UTCI am so, so sorry you’ve been so sick and are struggling so much lately, Juli. I truly wish you well. I am still here and happy to be continuing to support you. Stay healthy, and be happy, my friend. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Heidi
Heidi Elizabeth Marcum
2020-05-25 06:05:24 +0000 UTCPlease don't stress yourself out about how often you post. We know you are doing the best you can and your reactions will be so much better when you feel well. This is a hard time but you are doing your best and we support you. You've got lots of people out there who are on your side and supporting you, even if we don't know you in person. Wishing you well.
sandrinegeller
2020-05-25 05:57:03 +0000 UTCPlease take care of yourself. You really should have breaks scheduled in because I feel like you try to overwork yourself for us when you shouldn't. Your health is more important than any reaction.
Rubi Moon
2020-05-25 05:52:06 +0000 UTC
